She didn’t speak, but continued to watch him.
“We all have to work together, because we have a lot to do and not much time left to do it in. I don’t want morale wrecked by hostility, and I don’t want you to suffer behavior from my men that makes you uncomfortable. They’re men, and they live their lives flying on the edge of disaster. They’re wild and arrogant, and they need to blow off steam, typically with booze and women and dumb stunts. One way to keep them from hitting on you is to turn this base into a war zone, with everybody disliking you and not cooperating with you, which won’t get the work done. The other way is to let them think you’re mine.”
She didn’t like his phrasing. “That’s so Neanderthal, it has hair all over it.”
“They won’t bother you then,” he continued, ignoring her comment. “In fact, they’ll be downright protective.”
She stood up and began pacing his office. “I just want to be left alone so I can work. Is that such a big thing to ask? Why should I have to hide behind a false relationship?”
“For one thing, they all assume that you’ve had the normal experiences of a woman your age.”
She scowled at him, not liking the way he’d phrased the sentence. Her “age” indeed! He’d made it sound as if she were almost ready to file for Social Security.
“It won’t occur to them that their actions could actually be frightening to you,” he continued. “There’s also the possibility that some of their teasing won’t be so lighthearted, that a couple of them might make some serious moves on you and could turn ugly when you slap them down. I can’t afford the disruption to the program if I had to bring disciplinary charges against any of my men. I need them, and I need you. Even if they knew you’re so inexperienced, it wouldn’t keep them from trying to get in your pants. If anything, knowing that you’re a virgin would make it worse. The best thing is to mark you out of bounds for them by pretending you’re involved with someone else, and the only man on the base they wouldn’t consider poaching on is me. So from now on, as far as they’re concerned, you’re mine. All you have to do is act halfway friendly to me in front of them, rather than glaring at me as if you’d like to have my head on a platter.”
“With an apple stuffed in your mouth,” she muttered. Then the details of what he’d just said hit her and she stared at him in mortification, her eyes widening and color burning in her cheeks. Damn it, why hadn’t she hooted with laughter when he’d talked about her being a virgin? Now it was too late to deny it.
Joe was still watching her with that calm, remote expression, but his eyes were narrowed and strangely intense.
She couldn’t meet that penetrating gaze. Her embarrassment was almost unbearable. She summoned her last dregs of composure and said, “All right.” Then, for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, she succumbed to the powerful urge to run from him.
Chapter 3
For several minutes after she had literally run from his office, Joe remained leaning back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head and a small, satisfied smile curving the corners of his firm mouth.
So she was a virgin. He had only been guessing, but it had been a good guess. An experienced woman wouldn’t have been so embarrassed or at such total loss about what to say or do. Poor little darling. For all her intelligence, she was a babe in the woods when it came to men and sex, and the reaction she had learned in her youth, when some idiot had probably scared the hell out of her by grabbing at her, had become her standard way of dealing with a man’s attention.
He had been in the office before dawn, his mind on her rather than the coming flight and on impulse he had requested her file. It had been interesting reading. From the time she had started school, she had been separated from her own age group, and she had responded to the inevitable social alienation by devoting herself to her studies, thereby widening the gulf as she outpaced her schoolmates. That wasn’t exactly what had been in her file, of course; the impersonal papers had listed only numbers and accomplishments, except for the detailed security check, which had noted the lack of a personal relationship with a man—ever—but neither her psychological profile nor a detailed investigation had revealed any hint of homosexuality. Her work record did reveal a few instances when Dr. Evans hadn’t gotten along with a co-worker, always male, but as the field of physics was dominated by men that wasn’t in itself meaningful.
Remembering her reaction to him the night before, Joe had begun thinking. Was she so bristly because she had always been the odd man out, socially, emotionally and physically, during her childhood and adolescence? Her own age group would have shunned her, and her classmates wouldn’t have been interested in socializing with someone who, compared to them, was a child. By the time she was physically mature and old enough for it not to matter, the pattern was set and she had so many defenses in place that no one could get past all the thorns.
The only way for a man to get close to her was for her to open the gate herself, something that wasn’t likely to happen. But then he had seen the way she tensed when Daffy had put his arm around her waist, and the answer had flashed into his mind. A second later he had put his plan into action.
Her work was important to her. For that, she would tolerate the fiction of having a relationship with him, even though she had made it plain the night before that she didn’t want to be gossiped about. He knew she was going to be gossiped about under any circumstances, because she just wasn’t the type of woman who faded into the woodwork. Given the choice of having to pretend to be involved with him and putting up with the gossip, or possibly not being able to work on the Night Wing project at all, she had chosen the former. He had counted on that very reaction while he had been forming his argument.
Now the other men would leave her alone, giving him an unobstructed field, and he meant to use his advantage to the fullest. She would have to spend time with him, get to know him, learn to relax with him.
Her seduction would be the sweetest mission he’d ever undertaken. Taming that little hedgehog in bed would be more exciting than breaking Mach 3.
Caroline didn’t dare return to work; she knew her discomfort would be written plainly on her face for everyone to see, and Adrian would make some snide comments about taking care of her love life on her own time. She darted into the nearest ladies’ room and sought privacy in a stall.
She was trembling all over and felt strangely close to tears. She seldom cried, because it didn’t accomplish anything except making her nose stuffy. Even more strangely, she had been ignominiously routed again, and it was time she faced the facts.
It wasn’t anything Colonel Mackenzie had done that frightened her so; it was her own reactions to him that were terrifying. Intelligence wasn’t worth anything if she hid her head in the sand and didn’t admit the truth to herself. She had let herself grow too cocky about her ability to keep men at a distance by using her sharp tongue; not only was the colonel not intimidated by it—damn the man, he seemed to enjoy it!—but maybe she had been able to hold off those other men only because she hadn’t been attracted to any of them. The shortness of breath, the panic attacks, the pounding of her heart and cowardly behavior, could all mean only one thing: sexual attraction. As an intelligent female, her instinctive impulse was to run for her life.
She excused herself for not having recognized it immediately, because after all, it was the first time she had ever experienced the phenomenon. She hadn’t known how to drive a car the first time she had gotten behind the steering wheel, either. She had always been slightly puzzled by both genders’ sometimes feverish antics when trying to attract someone of the opposite sex, but now she knew what was at the bottom of it all. Gonads. It was disconcerting to have one’s glands turn traitor.
And now there was this situation she had somehow become mired in. She felt certain that if she only applied herself to it, she would be able to come up with some other solution, but her brain didn’t seem to want to work. It was probably a side effect of overactive
gonads. After all, thinking wasn’t conducive to mating.
She tried to organize her thoughts. As the situation stood, she had agreed to pretend to be having a relationship with Colonel Mackenzie so the men would leave her alone and she would be able to work, and also so the men wouldn’t be distracted by her. Did the colonel pretend to have a relationship with every woman on base? Why her? What was it about her that was so disruptive that she had to be neutralized? She knew she was a reasonably attractive woman, but she certainly wasn’t a femme fatale.
And just what would pretending to be involved with him entail? Small talk and smiling? She thought she could handle that. She had never cooed like a lovesick bird the way she had seen some women do, but it couldn’t be that difficult. But if he thought this pseudo-relationship involved any hugging and kissing, she would have to call it off immediately, because her heart just couldn’t stand the strain. All that adrenaline rushing around couldn’t be healthy.
But the situation wasn’t unmanageable. If she just kept her head and remembered not to trust him no matter how reasonable he seemed, she should be all right.
With that thought firmly in mind, she squared her shoulders and left her refuge. As she crossed the tarmac, the desert heat scorched the top of her head and made her arms burn. Everything shimmered around her, and her ears were assaulted by the constant roar of jet engines as planes took off and landed. Airmen swarmed everywhere, attending to the business of the huge base. The activity was exhilarating, and even more exciting was the knowledge that she was working on the most advanced jet fighter ever designed.
Work had always been her panacea. She enjoyed it, embraced it, because it was the one part of her life where she excelled, where she fit in. It was comforting and familiar, even though Adrian Pendley was certain to do his best to ruin it for her. Well, if she could ignore Mackenzie, she could easily ignore Adrian.
The colonel’s darkly tanned, hawkish face swam before her eyes, forming amid the heat waves, and she stumbled on the edge of the tarmac before quickly regaining her balance. So she wasn’t ignoring Mackenzie that well; she would get better at it. For her own sake, she had to.
Sure enough, when she walked back to the office, with her clothing damp with sweat and wisps of hair sticking to her face, Adrian looked at her and sneered. “Didn’t you know it’s too hot for a quick tussle? You’ll learn to save it for a weekend in Vegas.”
Yates looked up and frowned. Caroline caught his eye and shrugged to show that it didn’t matter.
The laser program was fully developed; they were there as a trouble-shooting team, and since the day’s tests had gone well, there was little more to do than recap what they’d seen. Then they went over the next planned test, the first one using a moving target. The aircraft that would be used in the next tests weren’t the two that had flown that day, and their targeting systems had already been checked as part of the regularly implemented maintenance schedule. All of that had been done before Caroline’s arrival on the base. They did have to check the systems on the aircraft that had flown that day, and she, Yates and Adrian changed into coveralls for the job. Cal remained behind, rechecking the computer data.
“All the different systems people working on the Night Wing project have gotten along well,” Yates said as they walked to the hangar. “It’s been one of the smoothest operations I’ve been involved in.”
“So don’t go screwing it up by insulting any of them,” Adrian said.
Yates stopped and swung around to confront Adrian. “That’s enough,” he said evenly.
“It’s only the truth. You know she has a reputation for being hard to work with.”
“I know what I’m hearing, and Caroline isn’t the one who’s being an ass. I hope I don’t have to tell you that Colonel Mackenzie can have anyone on this team replaced with one phone call, and he’d do it in a heartbeat if he thought friction between any of us was hindering the work. If that happens, your career at Boling-Wahl would effectively be over, and that goes for both of you.”
Caroline stuffed her hands deep in the pockets of her coveralls. Though Yates had been directing his ire toward Adrian, she knew that her position at Boling-Wahl was a bit tenuous, due to her past difficulties on a couple of jobs. One of those incidents had been with Adrian. Perhaps she had been assigned to work with him as a sort of test and her job depended on passing it.
Adrian turned to glare at her. “I’ll stay out of her way,” he finally muttered, “if she stays out of mine.” Then he strode on ahead of them.
Yates sighed, and he and Caroline resumed walking, but at a more leisurely pace. “Ignore him as much as you can,” he advised. “I didn’t realize the situation between the two of you was so hostile.”
“I’m not hostile,” Caroline said in surprise.
He gave her a thoughtful look. “No, I don’t guess you are. But he is. Is it just a case of mutual dislike, or did something happen that I need to know about?”
She shrugged. “I don’t suppose it’s any big secret. He came on to me when I first started work for Boling-Wahl, and I turned him down.”
“Ahh. A hurt ego.”
“It would make more sense if we’d been involved and then broken up, but it was never that personal. I guess he doesn’t take rejection well.”
“That’s all it was? You turned him down for a date?” Yates asked skeptically.
“Not exactly. He made a pass at me.”
“And you…?”
She stared straight ahead, but she could feel her cheeks heating again. “He was…well, it was a pretty strong pass, if you know what I mean, and I couldn’t seem to make him understand that I wasn’t interested. I tried being polite, but it wasn’t getting through and he wouldn’t let me go. So I told him I’d have gone to work at a zoo if I’d wanted to be grabbed by an ape.”
Yates chuckled. “Not very tactful, but effective.”
That wasn’t all she’d told Adrian, but she thought she had admitted to enough. “He took it personally.”
“The two of you will have to get along for the duration.”
“I understand. I won’t snipe back. But if he grabs me again,” she warned, “I won’t be nice.”
Yates patted her arm. “If he grabs you, knock him on the head with something.”
She fully intended to.
They spent the rest of the day checking the targeting systems on the two aircraft, and everything looked good. As maintenance crews crawled in, under, over and around the sleek black aircraft, the scene reminded Caroline of Gulliver being swarmed over by the Lilliputians. Lines and hoses snaked everywhere, crisscrossing the hangar floor.
Adrian didn’t speak to her except about work, and that suited her fine. He was good at what he did, and as long as he restricted himself to that, she had no problem with him. Maybe Yates’ lecture had made an impression on him.
It was late afternoon before they had the two systems thoroughly checked, and Caroline was glad to call it a day. Thoughts of a long, cool shower filled her head. She returned to the office and didn’t bother changing out of the coveralls, simply collecting her dress and checking to make certain everything was locked up. Security demanded that nothing be left out on their desks.
When she reached her quarters she turned the air conditioning on high and stood in front of the cold air for a minute, sighing with relief. There was a benefit to having small rooms: they cooled off quickly. She counted herself lucky to have two rooms, period. The first room was a combination living room, dining room and kitchen, meaning that a nondescript couch and matching nondescript chair, with a scratched fake-wood coffee table, occupied one half of the room and the other half was taken up by a galley-size kitchen and a battered Formica table with two chairs. The predominant color seemed to be institutional green. The room was about twelve feet square and opened directly into the bedroom. The bedroom and bath combined were the same size as the front room. She had a bed that was supposed to be double-sized but didn’t quite make it, but since she
slept alone it didn’t matter. There was a scarred chest of drawers, a cramped closet and a cramped bathroom with barely enough room for the essential plumbing, and then only because there was a small shower stall rather than a bathtub. It was livable, but she couldn’t see herself ever growing fond of it.
On the bright side, one of the first things she had done had been to replace the light bulbs in the bathroom with new ones of sufficient wattage for the application of makeup. She probably had the brightest bathroom on base. She rather liked the idea.
She took the long, cool shower she had promised herself, gradually turning the hot water off as she became accustomed to the chill, until the spray was satisfyingly cold. She felt herself revive as her overheated skin drank in the moisture. She didn’t turn the water off until she was shivering, then dried herself briskly and dressed in loose, cotton knit pants and a big T-shirt, which perfectly suited her notions of comfort.
Now for food. She had decided from the outset to eat in her quarters as much as possible, so she had stocked the tiny kitchen with a few staples. She was standing in front of an open cabinet door studying the contents and trying to decide on her meal when someone knocked on the door.
“Who is it?” she called.
“Mackenzie.”
He didn’t have to identify himself by name, she thought irritably as she strode to the door and opened it. All he had to do was rumble something in that deep voice.
She braced herself in the opening and felt the heat settle over her like a suffocating blanket. “What do you want?” she demanded. He wasn’t wearing a uniform, but the glove-soft jeans, scuffed boots and white T-shirt were oddly disturbing, while the inevitable dark sunglasses every pilot wore hid his eyes. She didn’t like it; she didn’t want to know what he was like when he was off duty.