Chapter 19
We walk along a well--worn path in silence and end up at the stables. Thankfully the rain has stopped, but the ground is still wet.
My curiosity is piqued, as well as a longing for Silver, when the stables come into view. I wish I could pet her mane and talk to her. I know she would understand where I’m coming from.
When we enter the stables, the smell of horse manure hits my nostrils. There are horses all around us bucking and neighing.
I follow Damien around the corner and freeze when I see her. Silver is in a stall next to Bronco.
I run to her and wrap my arms around her neck. Tears fall and I’m helpless to stop them.
I feel like I haven’t seen her for a century, but have been too busy to realize it. There has been so much going on with my emotions since I came to The Isle that saying goodbye to her on the shore seems like an eternity ago.
Silver kneels down to make it easier for me to climb on her. Once saddled, I follow Damien and Bronco.
We end up riding one of the only beaches on The Isle. Damien and Bronco stop and Damien gets down. He plops onto the sand and I follow. I watch Silver wander for a few seconds; I feel like a mom watching her baby go to school for the first time.
“What was that vision about?” I ask.
“They’re getting stronger,” Damien says. “I was in your head at the time, so I saw it. Right before the vision, I felt a presence; we were being watched. Queen Nema must have gotten some spies in here, and Jessice was one of them. I don’t know why I didn’t catch it before. We are safe on the beach though,” he says.
“Why would they send someone to kill me? I don’t know that girl,” I say, turning my attention from the waves to his face.
“You are a Suppliant,” Damien says, looking back at me. “Queen Nema, the Dark Queen, wants control of the Pendant. If you find the Pendant they think you will hand it over to Queen Merona, and the Light will have all of the power. It’s in their best interest to dispose of you, so that can’t happen,” he says.
How can he be so calm right now? I’m falling apart inside. I’ve been really freaked out since I saw Jessice try to kill me in my vision. It makes me realize that I’m in serious danger.
“How am I supposed to do this?” I ask, biting my lip. “Before all of this, I was just a regular teenager. I can’t do this. I can’t defeat enemies I am not aware of,” I say.
“You have the power in you. Believe in yourself, Lay,” Damien says.
“Well you were right about one thing; I need your protection. I have been foolish to believe that I could last very long without it.” I sigh. “I wouldn’t have known what to do if I had been there alone. I had no idea that they could watch me like that.”
“We have an advantage now. I sent Queen Nema to the Vampires on purpose. They know that you will get visions of the Pendant, and I hope that information will distract them. With any luck, they will be launching an attack on the Vampires and leave you alone for the time being, and as soon as we get back, I am going to place a privacy crystal in your room,” he says.
“How long?” I ask, feeling worn down. “I need to know how long I have before they figure it out and come back to kill me.” I’m trying to choke back tears.
“I’m not sure.” Damien says. “It could be a couple of days, or it could be a couple of months. They will probably send someone to The Isle before they try to attack you again. Right now, they are pretty much running blind. That should give us a few weeks.”
“How do you know?” I question, emotions running amuck.
“That’s what I would do.” Damien shrugs.
I should have at least two weeks, especially if they’re going to send someone in first, which makes sense. Plus I don’t know how long it will take them to figure out I sent them on a wild goose chase.
“I can’t believe I fell for it,” Damien says. “She offered to help and I didn’t see through it.”
I was confused for a few seconds before I realized he was talking about Jessice.
“I was just distracted,” he says.
“You can’t blame yourself. Besides, it didn’t happen,” I say.
It’s not like he meant to let Jessice get close enough to harm me. He wasn’t going to let me go with him in the first place. My vision just proves that she would kill me the first chance that she got.
“You could be gone right now, Lay. That means more to me than the prophecy. If you didn’t find the Pendant, the world would still be as it is now, but if I lost you . . . .” The rest of his thoughts hang heavy in the air.
I know that Damien likes me. At first I thought that he just wanted to be friends, but after coming to Zeather and The Isle, he has started sharing his true feelings with me. It’s hard to handle the fact that he wants to build a relationship.
I know that it has to do with him being my Protector, but I still don’t understand how it works. I need time to understand how I feel about him. I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship yet.
Damien leans over to touch his lips to mine gently. His lips spark the familiar warmth of his touch.
I pull away and stand, dusting the wet sand off my bottom. I’m not ready to get intimate with him yet. I still need to get my head on straight. When I look at him, I see the hurt displayed all over his face.
“Damien, I need to say something, and can’t have our connection clouding my judgment.” He nods, hopefully because he understands.
“I like you. You are strong, wise, smart, and yet somehow soft. I want to see what we have and if we are compatible before giving a relationship a shot,” I say. “But I think we would make a good team. I’m willing to work with you, and I want you to train me. I know that I could be in serious trouble if I get attacked, and our connection would get stronger if we were joined.”
I feel a surge of hope radiating off of him. “I know that you have done everything that you have done to protect me. But I’m not ready to accept the connection that comes with your protection.” The hope fades.
“I’m still not sure what will happen when I accept it . . .” Now is your chance to make me trust you, Damien. I need to hear about it from you. I had planned on looking it up, but haven’t had the time. It looks like time is running short for me.
“When a Suppliant accepts a Protector,”—Damien speaks up to fill in the gaps of my knowledge—“she accepts a life mate. The connection you would feel to other Protectors will dissipate at a slow pace until they are nonexistent. It’s kind of like getting married, except it’s permanent. It can’t be undone, not even by the Council. We will be as one. I will share some of your powers, and you can share all of mine. The connection that we have will grow stronger, and distance can’t separate us. I will always have access to your thoughts and feelings, and it will be easy to find you. There will be a physical pain when we are separated. The further you are, the more painful it will be. Then there is the sexual tension. Now it’s like a lit match. When we are joined, it will be like a burning building. You will be mine, and I will be yours. If one of us dies, the other will suffer for the remainder of their existence. It’s really helpful to know everything you are feeling and thinking if you get in trouble. The purpose of such a deep connection is for the Protector to be able to save the Suppliant’s life. It makes her stronger, and harder to kill. It makes it a lot less likely that you will fail in your mission.” He speaks very quietly.
Why would anyone want to accept that? I wouldn’t want to put myself through torture if something happened to Damien after sharing myself with him like that. I wouldn’t want him to have access to every thought and feeling that I have.
I want to know what Damien thinks about this. I wonder if he really wants this connection, or if he just wants to protect me so that I can succeed in my mission.
I grab his hand to reestablish and strengthen our connection. I will need it to try and pick his brain. I focus for a minute, barreling deeper, trying to catch a glimpse o
f his memory of the vision. I want to see it from his perspective.
When I catch it, my breath is sucked out of my lungs. I feel his feelings of hopelessness, watching me die right in front of him, and he’s unable to do anything. I feel the crushing grief when he realizes that I’m gone.
It doesn’t matter that we only just met. It doesn’t matter that we don’t know everything about each other. There will be time to learn that stuff after we complete the mission.
I can see everything from his point of view. It’s a weird feeling being in his head. The memory of the first time he laid eyes on me flies by and I suck it in. I feel everything that he felt, and see everything he saw.
It’s mesmerizing. He thinks that we’re meant to be together. Damien is in love with me. He realized it when he touched my shoulder in the hall. The tingling changed and became deeper. It’s now a burning sensation that keeps growing and changing. It fills my heart, cradles it, and protects it.
Yes Lay, I am in love with you. I have been from the moment I laid eyes on you. We were meant to be together, he whispers telepathically.
I pull out of his head and turn away.
How am I supposed to feel after seeing how he feels about me? I can feel it too from his perspective. I still want to take it slow, but I know that I need protection. I know now that he loves me and will be able to help me more after we are joined.
I’m not sure that I’m ready to be basically married to someone for life, but if I want any chance of surviving and finding my parents, I need his help. I need him to be able to find me if something happens to me, to be able to communicate to me at all times.
He needs to be able to know when I am in pain and I can’t keep going. I know that he thinks that we’re supposed to be together, but I need time to figure that out. I will have to take time later, because I don’t have it now.
Okay. That single word says it all. I am agreeing to be joined to Damien. I need his protection. But it’s just for protection purposes. I need to have someone in my court that I know will always be there for me. I’m not ready for a relationship.
It’s okay. I will think of this as a marriage for green--card purposes. I can get through this.
Damien pulls me close and rests his cheek to my forehead. The fire is still lit and burning brighter.
“Damien, will you protect me? I need your help,” I confess.
“I was beginning to think you would never ask,” he says, pulling his head back to look at me.
“We can do the ceremony tomorrow night. Right here on the beach,” he says.
I don’t really know what to expect, but the thought of a ceremony has me all jumpy. It’s too much like a wedding for my liking.
“Why do we have to wait?” I want to get it over with. Once my mind is made up, I am rather impatient.
“I have to gather the materials. I will make it as quiet as possible. Besides, there’s an assembly tomorrow night, so everyone else will be distracted. It will be easier to get away,” he says. At least this is a private event, unlike a real wedding.
“Should I tell anyone?” I ask, knowing that our entire arrangement up to this point has been in the dark. I assume that the answer to this is not suddenly going to change.
“Once you are protected, you can tell anyone that you like, but until then, keep it quiet. I don’t want this getting into the wrong hands. I don’t want a repeat of tonight,” he says.
With my agreement, we gather Silver and Bronco and make our way back to our rooms for the night.