“You’re doing a lot of yelling, Kid. And if you was talking any language your in-laws could understand you’d be up shit creek. Come on. Get it under control.”
I got it under control. You have to learn to manage emotion if you are going to survive in our racket. But my heart continued to pound and my mind to race. I shook like I had a bad ague. One-Eye offered me a large cup of water. I drained it.
He said, “It’s partly my fault. I wandered off. I didn’t think you’d stay out that long. Thought you’d figure it out and get your ass back to see what we plan to do about it.”
I croaked, “What you plan to do about it?”
“Don’t got no plans. I think the Old Man was just gonna let it slide and keep his eyes open till he decided you needed to know.”
“He wasn’t going to tell me?”
One-Eye shrugged. Which meant probably not.
Croaker was no more enthralled by my marriage than were Sahra’s people.
The bastard.
“I need to see him.”
“He’ll want to see you. When you’ve got yourself under control.”
I grunted.
“You let me know when you can get by without a lot of screaming and carrying on.”
“I can do that right now, you little shit! What did you guys mean, not letting me—?”
“You let me know when you can get by without a lot of screaming and carrying on.”
“You little shit.” I was running out of venom. I had been out there a long time. I needed to eat. I had a feeling I would not be allowed a snack till after my interview with Croaker.
* * *
“You ready to talk?” Croaker asked. “Done with screaming and carrying on?”
“You guys spend the whole time I was ghostwalking rehearsing your act?”
“So what are your in-laws up to, Murgen?”
“I don’t have the faintest fucking idea. But I’m thinking maybe I want to put Uncle Doj’s feet in the fire and ask.”
Croaker was drinking tea. Taglians are big tea drinkers. The Shadowlanders of these parts were bigger tea people. He took a sip. “You want some?”
“Yeah.” I needed liquids.
“Think about this. We put him to the question on account of you suddenly know they fucked you over. You think anybody, Nyueng Bao or otherwise, might wonder how you suddenly knew when you’re only like eight hundred miles from the evidence?”
“I don’t care—”
“Exactly. You’re not thinking about anything but you. But anything you do is going to touch every member of the Company. It might touch every man who came over those mountains with us. It might change the course of this war.”
I wanted to belittle his claims because I was hurting bad and very much wanted to do some hurting of my own. I could not. Time enough had passed for reason to begin rearing its reasonable head. I bit down on the words that rose in my throat. I drank my tea. I thought. I said, “You’re right. So what do we do?”
Croaker poured me some more tea. “I don’t think we do anything. I think we go right on the way we have been. I think we do the trap-door spider thing. I think only three guys know what an incredible tool we’ve got and nobody else needs to know.”
I grunted. I drank some tea. I said, “She thinks I’m dead. She’s living her whole life based on that lie.”
Croaker fiddled with his fire. He looked into his bag of liberated tea. One-Eye finally caught on. “Oh. Yeah. I figured you was familiar with that book of the Annals that was written by the Captain’s woman.” He showed me a sneer with a couple of teeth missing.
“Right. You just keep on being reasonable. See if I care. Shithead.”
“I got a great idea, Kid. Come on back to the wagon with me. Something I found the other day you might be interested in.”
Croaker said, “You guys don’t wander too far. We’re getting enough people in here now, it’s time to start harassing Longshadow.”
“Of course,” One-Eye said. He ducked out the doorflap grumbling, “Just can’t leave shit alone.” I ducked out behind him. He did not stop. “We could sit out here for the next hundred years and not hurt nobody. Set up our own damned kingdom. Starve the son of a bitch out. But no! We got to do some kind of…” One-Eye glanced back. We were out of earshot of the Old Man. “Enough of that shit. You dickhead. You never told me about Goblin.”
“What’s to tell?”
“You knew where he was all along, didn’t you? He wasn’t dead or nothing. You got around the commands Croaker laid on Smoke and found the worthless little shit.”
I did not say anything. Goblin was still out there on his own somewhere, presumably continuing his mission. Presumably still needing secrecy.
“Ha! I was right. You never could lie for shit. Where is he, Kid? I got a right to know.”
I started to back away. It might be time to take my act elsewhere. “You’re wrong. I don’t know where he is. I don’t know if he’s even still alive.” Which was true.
“What you mean, you don’t know?”
“I got a speech impediment? You’ve had Smoke all month, remember? You. The short shit who was loafing around up there in those hills while I was down here dodging shadows and Shadowlander ambushes.”
“Now I know you’re shitting me. There ain’t been one shadow seen since the night we broke them at … Bullshit! You’re feeding me bullshit.”
“Yeah. I guess I forgot the first rule.”
“Huh? What’s that?”
“Never confuse you with facts.”
“You smartass. I hung on in this world two hundred years so I could put up with this shit.” He jumped up on the tongue of his wagon and leaned inside. I began to put a little more distance between us. He dug around in some rags behind his driver’s seat. He glanced over his shoulder, saw me moving. “You just hang on right there, you peckerhead.”
He jumped down, started waving his arms around while he went to squeaking and squealing in one of those languages wizards use so the rest of us will think there is something terribly strange and mystical about what they do, kind of like lawyers. One-Eye sometimes flew off into unprovoked fits of lawyerism, too.
Blue sparks began to crackle between the tips of his fingers. His lips stretched into an evil grin. I would not give him Goblin so I would have to take Goblin’s place.
Damn, I wished Goblin would come back.
“What’s this?”
I whirled. The Captain had followed us. One-Eye gulped air. I scooted a few fast steps, which brought the Old Man into the field of fire, too.
One-Eye shoved his hands into his pockets to hide them.
“Ouch!” he said with sudden, quiet fervor. The sparks had not stopped.
Croaker asked me, “He been drinking again?”
“I don’t know when. Unless it was before he got me up. But he’s acting like it.”
“Who? Me?” One-Eye squeaked. “Not me. No way. I don’t touch the stuff anymore.”
I observed, “He hasn’t had time to get set up.”
“That means jack shit. There’s any to be stolen, he’ll find that. You know anyone else who’d suddenly start a fight for no good reason?”
“Ain’t nobody in this outfit like that,” One-Eye insisted. “Unless you count Goblin. Sometimes he … He in this outfit anymore, Captain?”
Croaker ignored him. He asked me, “You planning to take Smoke back out now?”
“No.” That had not occurred to me. Food had.
Croaker grunted. “I need to talk to my staff wizard, here. One-Eye?”
I moved out. What now?
That food.
I ate till the cooks began to grumble about some folks thinking they were special.
After I finished I strolled across the snowy slopes trying to calm the storm inside me. The sky promised more snow. We had been lucky so far, I suspected. None of the snows had been heavy and none had stuck long. I spied Thai Dei and his mother, the latter offering a piece of her mind. Still.
It kept them at a distance.
I glimpsed Swan and Blade, far off, trotting somewhere in a big hurry. That meant Lady had come in, or at least would arrive soon. Her advance force had a camp under construction.
South, beyond Kiaulune, a spear of sunlight broke through the overcast, struck Overlook. The whole vast fortress gleamed like some religions’ notion of heaven. I needed to take Smoke over there and get caught up. But not right away. One-Eye and the Old Man still had their heads together. Maybe talking about me.
I strolled downhill toward where Lady’s soldiers were building their camp.
I wondered how Lady and Blade were getting along. He had been her main helper before his defection. He had not let her know what was happening when he did that. I could not see her forgiving him the deceit, however successful its end result.
Crows fluttered over the camp. Maybe Lady was there.
Croaker was right. We had to be paranoid. All the time. If it was not the Shadowmaster spying it would be Soulcatcher or the Deceivers or the Howler. Or Kina herself. Or the Nyueng Bao. Or the Radisha’s agents. Or spies for the priests, or …
42
Lady had come in without me being told. I had no trouble getting in to see her. That made me wonder if it was going to be easy to get out.
She had questions of her own. “What are we doing now, Murgen? What’s his game this time?”
I halted one step into the presence, mouth open. There had been changes since last I saw her. This was not the Lady with whom I had ridden south. This was not the woman who had seemed so haunted in front of the Dandha Presh. This creature was the Lady of olden times resurrected, a being of such terrible power it had trouble constraining itself in a presentable form.
“What the hell happened?”
“Murgen.”
“What?” I squeaked. I reminded myself that I was the Annalist. The Annalist is fearless. He stands aside from squabbles within the Company. He is not intimidated by his brothers. He records the truth.
She scared me anyway.
“I want to know—”
“Anything you want to know, you’d better ask the Old Man. I couldn’t tell you even if I was as goofy as Willow Swan. He don’t tell me anything, either. He’s still keeping it all inside his head. You seen that place over there? Worse than the Tower at Charm. He hasn’t paid any attention to it since we got here. I haven’t seen him do much of anything. Longshadow and Howler haven’t done much, either, though.”
“It’s frustrating.”
“Yeah. And maybe not even very smart considering what shape we’d be in if the Stranglers got him.”
“Less likely than you think.”
“Because of Soulcatcher?”
“Yes.”
“She can’t be everywhere any more than you can. And they call them the Deceivers for a reason.” I hoped my voice was not squeaking. I was trying to play the fearless man.
“None of that is why you wanted to see me.”
“No. I’ve got a problem. My dreams are getting worse. They’re really bad now. I want to know how to shut them out.”
“I haven’t found a way. You have to learn to remember what they are. Has Kina been calling you?”
“I don’t think so. It’s more like she’s passing through my dreams and doesn’t notice me if I lie real still. Or maybe I’m eavesdropping on someone else’s nightmares.”
“Tell me about them.”
I told her.
“Those are pretty much the dreams I’ve always had. Mostly I’m on the plain anymore.”
“Are there crows there?”
“Crows? No. There isn’t anything alive there.”
I considered. “Actually, what I said before isn’t quite true. She does seem to be aware of me specifically. The other night I got led through a version of the plain dream where I saw my wife. I talked to Sarie. The implication was there that I could get her back.”
“That’s new. For me the horrors just get worse. I think they’re supposed to overwhelm me eventually.”
I had a feeling she was not telling the whole truth, either. I said, “I find it hard to believe that she could feed me anything worse than what I’ve seen in real life. Knowing what she’s trying to do—”
“She managed to use me, Murgen. Because I thought I knew what she was doing. But I didn’t. She is the Queen of Deceivers. I wasn’t her Daughter of Night at all. I was just a brood mare who was going to carry a Deceiver messiah for her. Don’t make the mistake I made. If she really has noticed you, you be very, very careful. And keep me posted.”
I grunted.
“Did you keep track of times when you thought you sensed Kina?”
“Uh…” I had. But most of the time she came near me I was out with Smoke. “Not very well.” I gave her a couple of times that seemed harmless.
“That isn’t much help. Control your emotions. Your wife would be an obvious way to manipulate you. You have any idea why?”
“I’d guess the standard.”
“Of course. Hints pile up but we never get the story. The Lance of Passion. Only the thing’s never shown any special properties.”
It had, but in a time and manner I could not explain without exposing Smoke. Croaker stuck Howler with it once, just a flesh wound, but the little wizard almost died. “Maybe we don’t really have the Lance. People might just think we do.”
She murmured, “Is this another complicated deceit?”
I asked, “How do I stop the dreaming?”
“Weren’t you listening? You don’t.”
“I don’t think I’m strong enough just to live with them.”
“You learn. Mine went away after the baby was born. But not for long. I think Kina forgot to sever the connection.”
“Maybe Narayan was supposed to do that when he took your daughter.”
“Of course he was.”
“I didn’t mean to remind you of—”
“I don’t need reminding. I remember just fine. Every minute of every hour. And someday soon I plan to discuss it with Narayan, up close and personal.” When she said that she seemed as nasty as Kina herself, though maybe you had to be there and had to know her history to enjoy the full impact. “He’s going to get his Year of the Skulls now. He’s run out of places to hide.”
“You’ve seen Overlook. You think he needs to hide?”
Before she answered Blade shoved his head into the ragged tent. “A Strangler just took a crack at Willow. Willow’s having a little trouble breathing but he’ll be all right.”
“You take the assassin alive?” Lady asked.
I eased toward the exit. Her mood was getting blacker. I did not want her pressing me hard.
Blade grinned. “He’s in perfect health. Though he’d have a heart attack if he could.”
I began easing around Blade. Lady gave me an eyeball-the-bug look that said she thought we ought to talk more later. I might consider staying out of her way. Maybe I had been too open with her already.
* * *
I stayed at a distance but watched. Lady’s interrogation methods were deft, vicious and effective. The lesson was not lost on any witnesses.
Within minutes the Strangler admitted that he had infiltrated the camp-follower crowd after our victory at Charandaprash. The order had come from Narayan Singh himself. Willow Swan had been his primary target. Other red rumel men had been assigned other targets. They, too, had concealed themselves among the camp followers. They had been directed by the Daughter of Night herself to be very careful executing their missions. The Children of Kina had become so few that part of their obligation to their goddess now was to preserve themselves for her sake.
Lady knew just how to charm a man into talking. One of those things you learn when you are around forever, I suppose. One of those things people like Longshadow would like to mine out of your head.
She was so effective the Strangler abandoned hope of his eternal reward to tell her names.
I took a walk
as Blade began organizing a throat-cutting expedition.
* * *
Just to underscore her disaffection with them Lady strangled one of the Deceivers herself. She used her own black scarf, taken from a black rumel man years ago. Every Deceiver knew the tale.
She sent her messages thus.
Crows took off in multitudes.
By way of conversation with Narayan Singh, Lady had the heads of the Deceivers put on lances and carried across to Overlook.
Croaker joined me. “That’s my sweetie,” he said, shaking his head. Like he would have been kinder had he gotten to those men first.
He knew what I was thinking. “A lady doesn’t murder people in polite company.” He grinned.
“What polite company? The Company ain’t polite. And I think it was a very Lady-like thing she did.”
“Yeah.” He seemed almost cheerful about it all.
43
I spent a good many hours at it but I finally located Sleepy with some base-camp elements from Big Bucket’s special forces battalion. Bucket’s gang was doing the biggest part of the work of hunting Mogaba’s partisans. I told the kid, “Let’s go for a walk. I need to talk to you.” I collected a handful of flat stones to throw at crows if those squawking nightmares got too curious.
“This about what I hope it is?” The boy was excited. I could not remember having been excited about becoming the standardbearer. But I had gotten the job by default. There had been no one else able to do it. It had had to be handled.
“Partly. I got the final word from the Old Man. He says you’re all right with him. He’s leaving the choice up to me. So you’re in, far as I’m concerned. But he wants me to handle the standard myself till after we know one way or the other how it’s going to go with Longshadow. We can start teaching you some stuff right away. And see that you get out of some of the more unpleasant duties so you’ll have time. Especially for working on your reading and writing.”
The boy beamed. I felt a little shitty. “But there’s one special job I need you to do first.” I saw Big Bucket headed our way, probably to hand the kid one of the very jobs I had just mentioned.