She set her sights on the end of the family meetings. She would fulfill her social duties, say her goodbyes all at once, and then set off like everyone else. She knew she had nowhere to go, and no one to stay with, but she was sure she would figure it out somehow. The Masons were friendly enough, and might be willing to take her. She was sure Howard would know of somewhere she could go to be safe until she was eighteen—he had admitted to her that he had secretly been supplying the money that had funded her father’s travels. But until then, she at least had the fact that Waldgrave was a temporary exile.
“My, you’re in a sunny disposition today.” Hesper looked at Lena from under her dark eye makeup.
Lena smiled over at her. “Breakfast is good today.”
“Sure…” Hesper eyed Lena suspiciously; the eggs were cold, the toast overdone, and the oatmeal slightly too dry.
“Oh! I forgot!” To Hesper’s slight annoyance, Lena’s face lit up further. “I wrote a note. Do you think you could…”
Hesper took her meaning at once, and her mood lifted. “Absolutely.”
Lena pulled the note out of her pocket and put it gingerly in Hesper’s hand. It was dishonest to let Hesper believe it was a love note, but Lena was sure that was the only way it would get delivered. She wanted to say her final goodbyes to Griffin. To tell him thanks for being a friend, even a false one, and not to look for her once she was gone. She smiled at Hesper; she wished they would have met in any other situation. It was unfortunate that she was Griffin’s sister, and even though Lena would have liked her as a sister-in-law, she was in a position where it would only happen over her dead body. There was only a little over a week to go until she left this world, the Silenti world, forever.
Everything was different over the next few days. Lena even found it in her to smile in spite of Serafina and her band of venomous friends. Even one particularly nasty remark, about how being raised by humans made one suitable for nothing better than servant work, didn’t dampen her spirits. Lena had simply smiled, walked up to her, and asked if she was jealous.
“You know, Sera, you’ll never be a Daray, so stop pretending.”
Serafina’s jaw had dropped in disbelief. Several people in the room had stopped talking and turned their heads to watch. Some of them had even giggled—music to Lena’s ears. Serafina had blushed, speechless, and walked away. Not back to her friends, but out of the room. It had been magnificent.
Howard was hard to come by. After three days had passed, and she still hadn’t managed to run into him (even at mealtimes, which was very uncharacteristic), she sought out Mrs. Ralston to ask about him. She was in the kitchen, which was usual nowadays.
“Mrs. Ralston, I need to find—“
“Excuse me, dear!” She turned around, carrying a rather large platter with several garnished Cornish hens on it. Lena stepped backwards and into another kitchen helper.
“Oh! Sorry! Mrs. Ralston, where’s Howard?” The kitchen was busy. People were everywhere, mixing things, washing things, stirring things on the stove.
“He’s upstairs, like usual.” Mrs. Ralston bustled, adjusting her grip on the tray as she gestured at Lena with her elbow. “I need to be where you are.”
Lena stepped aside again, this time being careful not to bump anyone. “Can you go and find him for me?”
Mrs. Ralston set the hens down, stripped off the oven mitts, wiped her hands on her apron, then planted them firmly on her hips. A few strands of hair had slipped out of the tight bun on the back of her head and fell across her face.
“I’m a little busy, if you haven’t noticed. We’re short staffed this year, so I’m very sorry. No.”
“Well…” Lena looked around. She really needed to talk to Howard about leaving, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to navigate the upper floors well enough to find him. She sighed, and looked back into Mrs. Ralston’s strained face. “What can I do to help?”
Mrs. Ralston pursed her lips; she clearly thought that Lena’s presence in the kitchen was more likely a hindrance than a help. “Sink. Ask Lynn where she needs you.”
Lena slouched over to the sink, where a burly woman with blond hair stared at her with beady eyes. “Lynn?”
The woman threw a towel at her and pointed to a spot next to a boy who was drying dishes as they were passed to him. Lena walked over and took a spot next to him.
“So, do you come here often?”
Lena rolled her eyes before looking over at her drying companion. At first, she had thought he was a child. Now she saw that he was only short, and perhaps only a year younger than herself. He had a sickly pale complexion and a lopsided smile.
“I live here,” she replied.
The boy glanced around the room, as if trying to place her. “Haven’t seen you on the drying line before…”
“I’m…um, new to dish work.” Lena looked down at her hands, not wishing to embarrass the boy, who obviously thought she was one of the staff.
He smiled and passed her a dish, which she dried and passed on to her right, where someone was taking stacks to re-shelve.
“I’m Devin.” He stuck a hand out at her.
“Lena.” She extended her hand, and they shook.
Lynn glared at them, and they went back to their dishes. Lena threw a look over her shoulder to see if Mrs. Ralston was watching her, but was unpleasantly surprised to see Serafina Perry. Leaning against the wall near the door to the dining room, she had a tight smile on her face.
Finally found where you belong, I see… She said with a pleased sneer.
She walked slowly out of the room. Lena was sure Serafina would make her regret her decision to help. Sure enough, a few moments later, Lena noticed heads poking through the door, and heard laughter in the living room. She felt the blush spreading up her neck, and tried to focus on the dish and drying cloth in her hands.
“Just ignore them. They think they’re so much better than us, but they’re not.”
She looked over at Devin. “What?”
Devin glanced back at the door. “We should be equals, but we’re not.”
Lena shrugged. She really wasn’t sure how to respond to Devin’s remarks.
Devin went on. “I mean, I’ve only been here three years, and even I know it.”
“I’ve only been here since early February.” Lena smiled weakly.
“Oh, wow. Kind of sucks, doesn’t it? I mean, you find out you’re special, and then you wind up being a second class citizen.” Devin was scrubbing the dishes as they came through now, which really wasn’t necessary, but certainly added an emphasis to his words. Lena tried to change the subject. She wasn’t in the mood for more politics.
“Some of them are nice…”
“You haven’t been here long enough. I mean, they’re born to fortune, and the best we can hope for is that they let us stay on as help? It’s really not fair. Just because you’re found and brought into the community, instead of being born to Silenti parents, means you’re less of a Silenti…” He looked over at Lena. She suddenly found it hard to meet his eyes, but tried to. She was relieved to see Howard walking into the kitchen out of the corner of her eye.
“Devin, it was nice to meet you. I’ve got to go. Excuse me…” She finished off the plate in her hand and then put down the towel and walked out into the living room with Howard. She sighed deeply and smiled at him.
“I’ve decided I’m leaving.” She said.
Howard smiled bemusedly. “Yes, Griffin told me he thought you would want to leave. It’s odd, really, how well he knows you. Where are you going?”
“I was hoping you could send me somewhere until I’m old enough…you know, to be on my own.”
“Lena.” The look on his face wasn’t promising. “That’s just not an option.”
Lena looked around the room. Deciding she needed more privacy, she asked Howard to follow her up to the library before continuing.
“What do you mean, not an option? I want to be away from here!
Everyone here is sexist. And I’m not marrying him!” Lena threw herself down on a couch. “I even got his permission…” She nodded toward the stairs.
Howard sat down next to her. “I agree you’re not marrying him.”
“I’m not a political plaything! I shouldn’t have to deal with this. I want you to tell me I can date whoever I want, marry whoever I want, and do whatever the hell I feel like doing with my life!”
Howard stared. “I’m sorry. You can do those things, but I can’t let you leave. For your own good.”
She pounded the couch with her fists, gritting her teeth. “You said I was here because he wanted me to be, and that you had to be here so he wouldn’t make me twisted or something. He said I could go, so it really makes sense that I leave, because it’ll take a lot of strain off of everyone.” She took a deep breath to steady herself. She couldn’t believe she was actually having to fight Howard on this issue. “Including me. Being away from here would make my life a lot easier.”
Howard was silent for a moment. His first words weren’t what Lena wanted to hear. “I know it feels unfair. I think you’ve misunderstood my role here, and it’s complicated, Lena. I’m your uncle, and I care what you’re feeling about all of this. And I’m a legal guardian of this family—your mom, Master Daray, and you. Perhaps you most of all. And I have to be both, Lena, I can’t be one before the other…and there’s precious few other people that the Council would trust in my position. I doubt any of them would be willing to take this position. So that’s the situation…I have to stay here where I can watch Daray. And I have to stay with you so nothing happens to you.” Howard nodded his head back and forth. “So you can see, by extension..”
“But if I left…” Lena stammered. “If I just left everything…”
“In some people’s minds—probably most people’s minds—you’d still be affiliated with him, because it’s not about you. It’s about your children, if you ever have any. He’d find a way, Lena. You can find the most obscure and remote corner of the planet, but he will find you. He wants an heir. A male one, as is tradition. If you ever had children, you’d never be able to let them leave your sight, and even then, Thomas was murdered less than a hundred yards from where we’re sitting now. People are crazy. Leaving won’t solve this. I have to keep you here, with me, where it’s safe. I am sorry.”
She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to run down the stairs, down the road, and hitchhike to…anywhere. She couldn’t believe that he would keep her here. He had a way of making it all so…simple. Not arguable. But it was complicated, because she couldn’t stay here. She just couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Without a word, she got up and walked back to her bedroom, speechless. In the closet, her suitcase was packed. In her mind, she was leaving. It wasn’t safe for her here, and that was for sure. She would take her chances on the road; her father had managed it, and if she was careful, if she changed her name and just kept moving, well…
For the first time during her stay at Waldgrave, she went to her father’s suitcase, and opened it. After rummaging for a few minutes, she found his wallet. It contained five-hundred and ninety-six dollars. She knew he had an account somewhere, but Howard was probably in control of it now. Where could she go on almost six-hundred dollars?
As she walked to the bathroom to retrieve her toiletries, she tried to make a list. Budapest was supposed to be cheap. There was India, Turkey, or maybe somewhere in Africa.
She scooped up her toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, soap, and everything else. She went back out into the main room and dumped them all on the bed. Six hundred dollars wouldn’t be enough; she’d need to pass for at least sixteen to get a job—at least until she got somewhere without labor laws, but working in those countries was most definitely not a good idea. As much as she disliked the idea, she knew she’d need makeup to make herself look older. She went back to the bathroom and threw the drawer open. Hesper kept hers in a travel bag by the sink, but had taken great joy in organizing Lena’s for her. There, perched very neatly inside the drawer on top of her mascara and foundation, was another note. It was odd to think he had risked the delivery.
Griffin…
She picked it up and opened it.
Meet me by the barn at twelve. I can help.
She sighed. He knew everything, and it was very annoying. Daray must have told him at some point, and he wanted to play the knight in shining armor. Coming to her rescue, convincing her to stay, helping her hide, he would do anything to keep involved and in touch with her. Trying to control her like Howard did. She took the note and her makeup back to her bed, and sat down. She could show the note to Howard, and he would trust her more. Possibly, this would give her the little freedom she needed to escape. Or, she could not tell Howard and meet Griffin, who could certainly supply her with enough money to make it to Fiji and further. Once she was there, she would sever all ties with him, and then she would be on her own.
It was a big gamble. She knew Griffin would anticipate her attempting to escape him, but she also knew he liked to be in control. If he was helping her escape, he would be in control. It was more likely than not to work. She folded the note, and stuck it in her pants pocket. She packed a bag small enough to carry with her down to the barn, taking only the necessities and a few mementos of her father. On an afterthought, she pulled out the family album and looked through it until she found a picture of a little boy with big ears, bright blue eyes, and one of his front two baby teeth missing. He was cuddling a Labrador puppy that had a bright yellow bow tied around its neck; judging from the decorations in the background, it was his birthday. She peeled the picture off the page and tucked it in her bag; Thomas, the only person who ever could have understood her.
Dinner that night was the typical affair, except for one incident. Lena and Hesper arrived late, on account of Hesper’s inability to pick a dress that “didn’t make her butt look huge.” The spot where they usually sat at the main table was already taken, and rather than making a big deal out of it, Lena insisted that they sit with Bianca at a side table. They found a spot with Alexis Alarid, who Lena had met a few days earlier, and who was strange, but not in the Serafina Perry kind of way, which made her a friend in Lena’s mind.
Dinner was brought out to their table by a regrettably familiar face…Devin. He paused, a stricken look on his face, several feet from the table when he saw her. A plate of Cornish hens and greens was balanced carefully on his left hand. Lena sat wide-eyed, unable to talk. Devin cocked his head and smiled a little. Lena smiled back.
“Are you okay?” Alexis looked at her, and then glanced over at Devin. “Do you know each other, or something?”
“Um,” Lena looked at Alexis, “Yeah…Yes, we do. I—“
“We’ve met through my family. Miss Lena knows the Colburns.” He set down the food, smiled wider, and winked at her when no one was looking. Really, she wouldn’t have minded if Hesper or anyone else at the table had known that she had been doing dishes. They would probably get a kick out of it, but none of them were the type to hold it against her. She managed to catch Devin’s eye a few times throughout the night, and they shared a few more friendly smiles. It made her glad that Devin seemed to be okay with the situation, and she hoped he wasn’t being nice to her for fear of retribution.
After dinner, Lena felt she owed Hesper an explanation. As they walked down the hall toward the bedroom laughing and joking about her kitchen experience, Lena used the jocular atmosphere to carefully explain her situation.
“I’m sneaking out tonight.” She pulled the bedroom door closed behind them. Hesper was still smiling.
“Sneaking out? That’s great! Where should we go?” She walked into the closet and started changing out of her dress.
“Not that kind of sneaking out…” Lena said seriously.
Hesper poked her head out of the closet. “What do you mean?”
“I’m…going to see Griffin. He left me a note.”
“Oh…” Hesper turned around
and winked suggestively at Lena, who was not amused. “You two are funny. When did he do that? He didn’t say anything to me.”
Hesper walked out of the closet in her pajamas and went to the bathroom to wash off her makeup. Lena went to the closet, and started to look for something comfortable enough to wear for the night…and possibly the next few weeks.
“He’s got his ways, you know. I think it was supposed to be a secret—just between us. But I trust you.”
“Where are you going?” Hesper asked.
“Down to the barn.”
Hesper froze, as if she had heard an odd noise. “No, you’re planning on traveling…”
A pang of fear shot through Lena. She scrambled to think of a way to keep Hesper from prying. “Griffin said it’s a secret. No one can know. Something about orders from Master Daray.”
There was silence. Lena crossed her fingers, hoping she would back off.
Hesper finally shrugged in indifference. “Well, good luck, then.”
She heaved a sigh of relief. Hesper got ready for bed, and Lena got ready to sneak out. They stayed up talking until around ten, when Hesper became tired, wished her friend good luck one last time, and then fell asleep. Lena stayed up, planning her next moves. She wrote a quick note to Howard and her mother, and another one to Hesper, wishing them good lives and asking them not to look for her. She took the cell phone Howard had given her and placed it neatly on top of the notes, afraid that it might contain some sort of satellite tracking device. She had a feeling, though, that the Silenti weren’t the kind to go to the police or ask help from “inferior” official authorities.
At eleven thirty, she became too antsy to wait any longer, and grabbed her bag. Out in the hall, the lights were off. She exited Waldgrave via the greenhouse, and walked around the edge of the house to the front. The property looked very different covered in its maze of tents. A few lights were still on in some tents, which she avoided with care. The tents stopped almost a hundred feet from the barn, and Lena had to walk slower to avoid tripping in the dark the rest of the way down.
When she finally reached the barn door, she checked her watch, and saw it was only eleven forty-five.
Oh well.
She pushed the barn door open and slipped inside. All the lights were out. There was not so much as a candle or flashlight to break the dark.
“Dav…Griffin!” She said in a loud whisper. There was no reply.
She felt her way over to the bed. It was empty. She found a lamp near the bed and switched it on. No Griffin. It was still only eleven forty-seven, so she sat down and waited. Maybe he was detained up at the house? Something was wrong…she brushed the feeling off as nerves.
Twelve came and went. By ten after, she was starting to worry. She pulled the note out of her pocket, and reread it. Something was very wrong…she was so nervous that it was getting hard to breath. Her neck itched incessantly.
Meet me by the barn at twelve…By the barn!
Lena stood up, cursing her own stupidity, turned off the lamp, and walked out of the barn. She walked around the edge and turned the corner to the side of the barn that faced away from the house. A voice came out of the darkness.
“I was starting to think you weren’t coming.”
A chill ran down her spine. It wasn’t Griffin. She squinted to see the source of the voice that had come out of the dark. A shadowed figure stood there.
“Who are you?” Lena asked, backing away.
“You understand, don’t you? Why I have to do this?” The figure, a man, was walking toward her. Still in the shadows, she couldn’t see who he was, but he was carrying a length of rope.
She realized too late that the note wasn’t from Griffin. He always signed his work.
Lena turned and ran. She had heard stories before of people who had lost their voices in fear. She’d never believed them until now; her throat had gone dry at the stranger’s words, and try as she might, she couldn’t force out a single sound. She managed to run thirty feet back toward the house before tripping over a rock that jutted out of the ground. She looked up toward the tents and saw two familiar blue eyes. The cat! It was running toward her! Lena started to scream, but felt a hand close over her mouth.
She felt the noose slip around her neck, and with horrifying swiftness it went taut. There was hissing and blood as the cat leapt onto the man’s face, slashing viciously at him. Even as he was lacerated, he held her down and pulled harder on the rope. He let go for half a second and grabbed the cat, throwing it hard. Lena managed to cough and take a last breath before he was back to yanking the rope tighter. She kicked and swung at him as hard as she could with her arms, but it was getting harder to just move. The cat hissed, and ran back toward the house.
Lena stared at the man’s face, directly into his glassy eyes. There was sweat on his brow; as she stared at him, he was desperately trying to avoid her gaze. She knew him…she’d met him, at some point… He watched the cat with fear in his eyes. He was afraid. He put one hand to her neck to hold her down, using the other to hold the rope tight, and redoubled his efforts. Lena choked, still trying to scream, feeling her skin burn and tear under the tightening rope, as each breath came less easily, air escaping in disrupted bursts as her throat gasped open and pinched shut, until the last little leak was finally sealed. She kicked at him, and struggled as best as she could, but it was getting harder.
Her world went dark. She heard yelling. And then, there was nothing.
*****