The Amulet

  (Custodian Novel #1)

  Copyright 2009 by Alison Pensy

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the author.

  ISBN:978-0-9825438-1-8

  I would like to say a big thank you to the following people:

  First and foremost to my soul mate, your unfailing love and support are beyond measure.

  Andi and Mary Jo, who listened to my hare-brained ideas for stories, and still read the book.

  To Marisa Wagner who edited this version for me. Thank you.

  To all of my beta-readers, your feedback and support was invaluable.

  Jen, your library of books helped tremendously. And last but not least to Jocelyn, who may just show me her wings one day.

  CHAPTER ONE

  This is no ordinary fairy-tale, but I shall start it just the same…

  Once upon a time, eleven years ago to be precise, in a land, oh, just around the corner, lived a young girl called Faedra. Her mother and father doted on her, and at the tender age of just six years old, she considered herself to be the luckiest little girl alive. That was until her world, suddenly and without warning, came crashing down around her…

  University Hospital, Norwich, England

  Faedra sat in the cushioned hospital chair that was positioned in the hallway just outside the room her mother occupied. She could hear the voices inside the room behind the closed door. One of them she recognized. It was the voice of her father, sounding much more anxious than usual, talking with growing concern to whom she assumed was the doctor. The other voice sounded like it was trying to remain calm, but she could sense bewilderment was bubbling just below the surface.

  Her father, Henry, had told her to sit for a moment while he talked to the doctor. She was trying hard to block out the voices by concentrating on her feet that were swinging nonchalantly below her, but try as she might, she could still hear every word they said.

  “There must be something you can do?” Henry pleaded.

  “I’m so terribly sorry, Mr. Bennett, but we have never seen anything like this before,” replied the doctor.

  “Is there a cure?”

  The doctor’s voice rang heavily with disappointment. “I wish I could tell you there was, but we have tried everything we know and her organs are still shutting down.”

  “Well, try something else!” Henry raised his voice in frustration. “I can’t lose my wife, I just… can’t.” His voice cracked.

  “Henry?” Faedra’s mother, Lillith whispered.

  “I woke you sweetheart, I’m sorry. What do you need?”

  “Don’t be angry with the doctors, Henry. It’s not their fault.”

  “But there has to be something more they can do…” he broke off.

  “Henry,” she paused. “I need to see Faedra.”

  Faedra’s head snapped to attention at the mention of her name and her feet grew still. She wanted to jump off the chair and run to her mother’s side that instant, but knew that she should not have been listening to them in the first place. So she waited patiently until she was called. After what seemed like an eternity in Faedra’s undeveloped mind, the door clicked open and her father stood in front of her and forced a smile.

  She looked up at her father and examined his features. The kind brown eyes that she loved so much looked back at her in agony. She could read the pain on his face even though she knew he was trying so very hard to hide it from her. At that moment she realized, with much sadness, that her mother was not going to be with them for very much longer.

  Her father was tall, standing before her and he looked tired, exhausted, in fact. His dark blonde hair looked unkempt, and his usually clean-shaven profile was half covered in a dark fuzzy overgrowth. Henry hadn’t thought shaving was important since Lillith had fallen ill. He held out his hand for her.

  “Mummy is asking for you, Princess.”

  Faedra took hold of her father’s offered hand and slid herself down off the chair. His hand felt shaky, something she had not experienced whilst holding her daddy’s hand before. It was always so strong, so sure. A sinking feeling grew in Faedra’s stomach, and her heart started to quicken. She stuck closely to her father’s side as he walked her into her mother’s hospital room.

  Lillith lay motionless in the big mechanical bed that was tilted up at the back enabling her to sit up. Faedra glanced at all the different kinds of monitors, wires, and tubes that were hooked up to her mother. She then focused on her mother’s face to try and escape the fear those things were instilling in her. As she reached the bed, Lillith held out her hand and Faedra took it as her father simultaneously dropped the hand he was holding.

  “Faedra, my darling girl,” Lillith cooed. “Now you need to be strong for Mummy and Daddy, okay?”

  “Okay, Mummy,” Faedra whispered.

  “I have something for you,” she looked up at her husband. “Henry, could you please pass me that bag?” She pointed to a small gift bag sitting on the table across the room.

  “Now, this is a very special gift and you must promise me that you will treasure it always,” she told Faedra as she handed her the bag.

  Faedra’s little hands could not open the box inside the bag quick enough, but after a few moments, she had pulled the wrapper off and lifted the gift from its box with care. Her eyes grew wide with wonder as she stared at her present.

  It was a figurine, standing about eight inches tall. A beautiful fairy was sitting atop a majestic black horse. The fairy had long, red hair and silver wings flecked with emerald green that stretched proudly out behind her. She was wearing a blue skirt from which tiny bells hung. The horse was black as midnight and regal in stature. It had a long thick mane and tail both adorned with silver stars.

  “Oh, Mummy, she’s so pretty. What is her name?”

  “Her name is Arianne. I know how much you love horses and you know how much I love fairies, so I thought this gift was perfect. It will always remind you of me. You’ll keep her safe for me, won’t you?”

  “I promise, Mummy. I will look after her always.”

  Lillith bent forward to kiss her daughter on the forehead. Tears welled up in her eyes. She looked up at her husband and mouthed for him to take Faedra away. At that moment, Henry knew he was losing his wife. He swallowed hard, biting back the tears that were searing behind his eyes as he took hold of his daughter’s hand once more.

  “Mummy needs to sleep now, darling,” Lillith whispered, knowing it would be the last time she saw her daughter.

  “Okay, Mummy. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, darling. Forever and ever.”

  Court of the Light Fae, The Land of Azran

  The Guardian strode with purpose through the magnificent double oak doors that led him into the Great Hall of the king who reigned over the Light Fae in the Land of Azran. The sword that hung from his waist swung with grace from side to side with the momentum of his footsteps. He ran a hand through his sleek blonde hair and looked around.

  This hall never ceases to make me feel humble, he thought.

  The ceiling towered many stories above him, held up on either side by imposing stone pillars. The pillars were intricately carved with the figures of various royalty and nobility that had ruled this land throughout the ages. Stained glass windows that stretched from half way up the walls
to high above depicted many scenes of nature from several different realms, including The World of Men. The reason for those scenes was because the fae controlled nature. In fact, it was their responsibility to make sure that nature in all realms continued to thrive and to sustain the inhabitants within them.

  His eyes were diverted to the floating chandeliers that lit the hall from above. The chandeliers followed the movements of whoever occupied the cavernous room, lighting the way for that person, or persons, wherever they should be within its walls. The candles flickering behind the crystals, created dancing sparkles along the walls and the floor.

  The Guardian smiled at the fae magic of the light that showered him from above and then brought his focus back to the unpleasant task at hand. He stepped up his pace for the remainder of the way down the long stone floor leading up to the throne where the king was seated.

  The king, usually so stoic in his demeanor, sat fidgeting with his robes as he waited impatiently for the Guardian to reach him. Coming to a halt at the foot of the steps upon which the thrones sat, the Guardian got down on one knee and bowed his head.

  “Is it true?” the king questioned abruptly.

  “Yes, Your Majesty,” the Guardian replied, rising when the king requested he do so with a gesture of his hand. He watched as the king’s eyes filled with sadness.

  “When?”

  “Not more than one hour prior, Your Majesty.”

  “And the amulet?”

  “Lillith passed the amulet to Faedra before she died, Your Majesty.”

  “The child is but six years of age,” the king stated with concern.

  The Guardian could see the king’s face tense with worry and attempted to calm him.

  “Sire, she is the next legitimate Custodian. Lillith hid it within the figurine of a fairy.”

  “Did she, indeed?” the king smiled. “I did always admire her resourcefulness.”

  “Yes, Sire.”

  “Do you have any further information regarding why Lillith was on her way to see me when she was intercepted?”

  The Guardian hung his head. He was assigned as Lillith’s guardian, but she had sent him on an errand. The next thing he knew, redcaps had attacked her on her way to the portal, and he had reached her too late.

  “No, Your Majesty. Nothing new has presented itself thus far.”

  “You know what you must do now.” It was more of a statement than a question.

  The Guardian’s eyes shone with confusion as he looked at the king.

  “But, Your Majesty, I have failed both you and Lillith.”

  “Guardian, you are young. This was your first assignment in the World of Men. I paired you with Lillith because she had much to teach you, not the other way around. I have confidence that you have learned from this unfortunate turn of events and will not let it happen again. Make sure you do not fail little Faedra; she has much to learn. It will be a while before we have to cross that bridge. Her mother should have been the one to teach her. That task, young Guardian, now lies in your hands. Do not let me down.”

  “No, Sire. Thank you, Sire.” He bowed his head and the king nodded his acknowledgment.

  The Bennett Cottage, Spixworth, England

  Faedra sat on the swing in the back garden, watching everyone coming and going from her vantage point. Friends and relatives she recognized, and others she didn’t. It seemed like an endless stream to her. They were all dressed in similar clothing. Everyone wore black, and they looked like flies buzzing in and out of her home.

  It was the afternoon, and her father was holding a wake for everyone who had attended the funeral earlier that day. She had watched in tears as her mother was buried that very morning at the local village church. Then the procession made its way back to her house, where people had been milling about ever since. Some of them were crying. Others looked saddened. To Faedra, the whole thing seemed like a blur. She couldn’t quite understand why her mother wasn’t coming back. Her father had told her she’d gone up to heaven to be with the angels, but that didn’t make sense to her either. Why would Mummy rather be in heaven with the angels instead of here with the people she loved?

  She watched, almost hypnotically, as a well-meaning relative wandered over to where she was sitting on her swing. It was a warm summer’s day and the sun shone in a cloudless blue sky. Birds were taking a bath in the little birdbath her mother had lovingly erected at some point in the past. She stared at the birds for a moment remembering all the times she had sat with her mother and watched as they splashed around in the water. Her mother loved the birds. In fact, her mother loved all of nature and had passed that love down to Faedra.

  “Hi, Faedra,” Uncle Leo announced as he approached the swing.

  She turned her attention to him for a moment. Uncle Leo was her father’s brother and her favorite uncle. He didn’t look that dissimilar from her father, especially, as they were both wearing a black suit that day, although he was a couple of years younger. He also had kind eyes, a warm hazel-brown, and tousled dark blonde hair. He was not quite as tall as her father, but about the same build. He kneeled down in front of her and took hold of her hands.

  “Hey, Uncle Leo,” she said quietly.

  “What are you doing out here all by yourself?”

  “I’m watching the birds in Mummy’s birdbath, see,” she pointed towards the birds still splashing water over their backs with their wings. “They love Mummy’s birdbath. Mummy and I used to sit and watch the birds for ages.” Her voice cracked as the truth was starting to sink in that she would never again sit with her mother to watch the birds.

  “She’s not ever coming back, is she?”

  “No, darling, I’m afraid she’s not.”

  Big fat tears started to escape from Faedra’s eyes and rolled down her cheeks to splash on her dress.

  “Why not? Why does she want to be in heaven with the angels? Doesn’t Mummy know we love her more?”

  Leo wrapped his arms around his little niece, using all his self-control to fight the tears that were welling up in his eyes, also. He had loved Lillith like his very own sister and was desperately sad to have lost her, too, but even more so, to see the pain that his brother and niece were now suffering at their loss.

  “It’s not fair, Uncle Leo,” Faedra cried. “I want her back.”

  “I know, sweetheart. We all do, but we have to be strong now.”

  Leo held onto his sobbing niece, smoothing her hair with his hand.

  I would never have imagined in a million years how hard this moment would be, he thought.

  He had no words to take Faedra’s pain away. Nothing he could say would comfort the little girl he loved so much, so he just held her for several minutes and let her sob into his shoulder.

  “Leo,” Henry called from the back door, “I need your help in here for a moment.”

  “I’ll be there in a minute, Henry,” Leo called back.

  Leo pulled back from Faedra, gently loosening her grip, and looked into the reddened, tear soaked eyes of his little niece.

  “Your daddy needs me, Faedra, I’ll be back in just a minute, okay?”

  “Okay,” she sniffed. “Uncle Leo?”

  “Yes.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too, darling.”

  Leo planted a kiss on her forehead and straightened himself up. Faedra watched as he turned and headed towards the house before she returned her attention to the birdbath once again. A moment passed, and the birdbath became blurry behind the tears that began to well up in her eyes and roll down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure at this point if she would ever be able to stop them. Something cold and wet touching her hand distracted her. It made her jump and she pulled her hand away sharply. She wiped the tears from her eyes with the heel of her hands so she could see with more clarity what she had just felt.

  When Faedra looked down, two molten amber eyes greeted her. This time their ow
ner was not human. In fact, they belonged to a big white dog that was sitting in front of her. She looked around perplexed to see if she could see to whom the dog belonged. There was no one around, other than the people in the house, and she doubted that any of them would have brought a dog to a funeral.

  Her home was a very old English country cottage located in the heart of Norfolk. You had to drive down a tiny country lane and then onto an even narrower long, dirt driveway to get to it. It wasn’t the type of place you went without a purpose. Fields on three sides and a thick stand of trees at the back with a little stream meandering its way through it, surrounded the cottage. No wonder her mother loved it here. You couldn’t be much closer to nature if you tried. Maybe the dog had come from the woods at the back, she was certain she hadn’t seen him coming from any other direction, not that she had been paying that much attention.

  “Hey, boy,” she said, stroking the dog on the top of its head. “Where did you come from?”

  The dog whimpered and laid his head on her knee, not once taking his eyes from hers. She was overcome by an overwhelming sense of comfort as she stared into its soft amber eyes. It was almost as if he could sense that she was in pain and wanted very much to take that pain away from her. Even as the thought entered her mind, the dog sat upright again and licked the tears from her face. She responded by throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his soft white fur. She wasn’t quite sure how long she’d been hugging the dog until she heard a familiar voice.

  “Faedra?”

  She reluctantly pulled away from the dog and looked up into the worried eyes of her father.

  “Yes, Daddy?”

  Her father ran his hand through his hair and looked at his daughter. He was overwhelmed by how she looked like a miniature version of her mother. Every time he looked at her, he could see Lillith. The same beautiful, bright blue eyes with dark lashes that went on forever, and thick curly red hair that tumbled half way down her back. He felt blessed to have the two most beautiful women in his life. He missed Faedra’s mother with an ache so fierce he thought his heart would shrivel up and die. But was thankful he still had his beautiful daughter and vowed to do his very best to keep her safe.

  “Where did he come from?” he asked, looking at the great white dog standing next to his daughter in a way Henry could swear was protective.

  “I don’t know, Daddy. He just turned up. Isn’t he beautiful?”

  “Yes, he certainly is. He looks like a Great White Pyrenees.”

  Henry checked his thoughts. Usually he would have been very unnerved seeing a dog the same size as his daughter in such a close proximity to her, but, like Faedra, all he felt was a sense of comfort.

  “Can I keep him, Daddy?”

  Henry’s eyebrows shot up. He wasn’t expecting that question.

  “Well…” he paused.

  “Please, Daddy.”

  Henry knew the moment he looked into his daughter’s pleading eyes that he was defeated. He also knew the dog could not replace her mother, but, if this dog could give her just one ounce of comfort, then it would be a welcome addition to their family. Right at that moment, gazing deep into his little girl’s eyes that were so full of pain, he would have given her anything to ease it.

  “Okay, you can keep him.”

  “Oh, thank you, Daddy! Do you hear that boy? You can stay with me!”

  Henry watched the dog wag its tail as Faedra threw her arms around him and, again, bury her face in his fur.

  “What are you going to call him?” Henry asked.

  “Faen,” she declared without missing a beat. The dog’s ear pricked up. He pulled away to look at her, and Faedra thought she saw the dog smile, if it were possible for dogs to smile. She didn’t know, but she didn’t linger on the thought, and wrapped her arms around the giant dog’s neck once more.

  “That’s an unusual name.”

  “I know, but it suits him, doesn’t it?” she said looking proud of herself.

  “Whatever you say, darling. But if you keep him, then you are responsible for taking him for walks and cleaning up after him.”

  “I will, Daddy. I promise.” She released Faen from her grip. “Come on, Faen, I’ll show you my room. That’s where you’re going to sleep from now on.”

  Henry watched as Faedra lowered herself off the swing and wandered towards the house, followed closely by Faen wagging his enormous shaggy tail. Henry scratched his head at the sight.

  Present Day

  Faedra pulled down the indicator lever on the steering wheel to signal she was turning left. The soft tick-tick noise it made instilled a sense of relief in her as she turned onto the driveway that led to the cottage. She was home, and tomorrow was Saturday. She only made it half way down the driveway before her shaggy white dog came bounding up towards the car to greet her.

  She stopped her car and she smiled at him, rolling her window down as he placed his giant front paws on the car door and leaned his head in to plant a lolloping wet kiss on her cheek. She laughed as she grabbed a thick handful of fur on either side of his head and leaned her cheek against the side of his face. This had become their daily ritual since Faedra had started driving and gotten herself a job. She’d taken a year off before she started college so she could get a job and save some money. College didn’t come cheap these days. Her father had offered to pay, but she didn’t want him to shoulder all of the cost on his own.

  “Hey, boy. Yes, I love you, too,” she responded to another sloppy kiss.

  She leaned over to the back door and pushed it open from the inside.

  “In you get,” she told him.

  Faen wagged his tail voraciously and did as Faedra asked. She pulled the door closed and carried on down the driveway towards the cottage while Faen panted his hot breath in her ear. Upon turning a sharp bend in the driveway, the cottage came into view. She never tired of its beauty, or the warm feeling it gave her just to look at it. The cottage was many hundreds of years old and had been handed down through the family for generations. Her dad had completed many restorative projects on it since her mother inherited it before Faedra was born. This, in itself, was a sad thing because that meant she had never known her grandparents. They both died in a car accident before she was born. After living with the pain of loosing her own mother, Faedra felt full sympathy for what her mother must have gone through, losing both her parents in one fell swoop. Although, her mother had been much older than Faedra when it happened to her. She was already married to her father, Henry, and pregnant with Faedra.

  The cottage had cream walls with an array of black oak beams that were exposed both on the outside and on the inside. A beautiful climbing rose crept up the wall on a trellis and was in full bloom, exhibiting an abundance of bright sunny yellow petals. Her mother had planted it the year Faedra was born. She had watched her father carefully tend the plant ever since.

  Her father had also added a few more rooms on the back of the cottage, making it twice the size of the original dwelling. The living room, dining room, and two of the upstairs bedrooms were original and they were Faedra’s favorite rooms. You almost had to duck when you walked into the living room, the ceilings were so low. People had been much smaller in stature when the cottage was first built. But the living room was a complete contrast to the dining room that Faedra had lovingly named ‘The Great Hall’.

  The dining room was a cavernous room with an imposing brick fireplace at one end. A ceiling that towered two stories high was handsomely finished with exposed black oak beams running parallel to each other for the length of it. A staircase ran up one side of the room to a door at the top that led to her bedroom. She made sure she kept the front bedroom for herself, even after her father had finished a beautiful new room for her towards the back of the house. She had resisted, and with sensitivity, declined. There was something about the history in the old section of the house that she didn’t want to be
parted from.

  Faedra pulled her car in beside her father’s. He worked from home; he had ever since her mother died. For that, she felt blessed. His job enabled him to stay at home so she did not have to be shipped off to a childcare provider every day. This turn of events had also made them very close. She loved her father with all her heart, and he felt the same about her. She smiled when she saw the other car parked next to her father’s. It belonged to her uncle Leo. He’d been an integral part of her upbringing, too, and she always enjoyed seeing him when he came around to visit.

  She opened the door to let Faen out and reached in to grab her bag that had been thrown precariously on the back seat when she left work earlier. Faen waited by her side until she closed the door. He looked up at her and wagged his tail.

  “Thank God that week is finished with,” she told him. “I’m not sure I could’ve taken much more of Mr. Thompson. I honestly don’t know why he’s got it in for me.”

  Faen barked, as if agreeing with her.

  “You know, boy, sometimes I could swear you understand every word I say.”

  She walked the few steps it took to reach the front door, kicked off her shoes inside the front porch, and lifted up the old-fashioned, black wrought iron latch on the door that led into the living room. The latch made its familiar chinking sound, a sound full of history and memories. It must have been lifted many thousands of times over its history, sometimes to welcome people in, and sometimes to bid them farewell. The memories it held seemingly endless. The quickening of a heartbeat when someone, patiently awaiting a loved one to return home, heard the latch chink. The relief, when an unwelcome or irritating visitor exited. Faedra’s memories of walking through this door had always been happy ones, except for one solitary entrance, the day her mother died. She knew it would never welcome her mum home again. She let out a sigh.

  As she swung the door open, she felt the need to duck, even though the ceiling was at least a foot taller than she was. She looked around the cozy living room. There was a fireplace, also. Actually, there was a fireplace in all the original rooms of the cottage, as back in the day, that was the only way to heat the house. She listened for signs of life and could hear voices coming from the kitchen.

  “Come on, boy. They’re in the kitchen.”

  She closed the living room door and wandered through to the contrastingly spacious dining room. The kitchen was located on the other side. Faen followed at her heels. He very rarely let her out of his sight when she was home.

  “Hi, guys,” she called as she reached the kitchen.

  Her dad, uncle, and her uncle’s wife, Nicki, were all seated around the kitchen table, situated in the center of the room. They had their hands wrapped around cups of tea, and a plate of cookies sat in the center of the table. Faedra strode over to where her dad was sitting, and planted a kiss on his forehead then leaned past him to grab a cookie.

  “Hey, Dad.”

  “Hello, darling. How was your day?”

  “Oh, you know, the usual.”

  “Mr. Thompson still treating you badly?”

  “I don’t know why you put up with his crap, Faedra,” Uncle Leo chimed in, “I would have told him where to stick his job a long time ago.”

  “Thanks, Uncle Leo, but I need the money and it’s not for much longer, I’ll be starting college soon.” Faedra made her way around the table to where her uncle sat, and leaned over to wrap her arms around his neck. “I’ll survive, I promise,” she smiled her cheeky grin at him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

  “Well, you have the patience of a saint, that’s all I can say,” Leo continued.

  “Hey, Nicki, what are you doing this weekend?” Faedra asked, quickly changing the subject of her dire working arrangements.

  Her uncle had met Nicki not long after her mother had died and Faedra had taken to her straight away. Although Nicki was a good ten years older than herself, she had treated Faedra like a sister and taken her under her wing. She was happy that her uncle had found such a wonderful person and wished that her Dad would do the same. It had been nearly twelve years since that fateful day, and her Dad had never been interested in meeting anyone else even after all these years. She worried all the time that he would be so alone when eventually the inevitable happened and she moved out.

  “We are attempting to take your Dad out on the boat tomorrow, get him out of this house for a change,” Nicki replied.

  Faedra watched as her father raised his eyes heavenward. She knew her uncle had been trying to get him out to meet new people, mainly of the female variety, for a while. She sympathized with her dad after he had confided in her that he felt like a prize bull being paraded around a judging ring.

  “That sounds like fun, Dad. I’d go with you if I didn’t already have plans. I was going to invite Nicki to come with us to Strawberry Fair tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, Fae, but you’re already taking Amy and Zoë, and Faen, no doubt. It would have been just a little squashed in the back of your car.”

  She had a point, Faen let out a little whine.

  “Don’t worry, you’re still coming,” Faedra told him, and he wagged his tail.

  Since he had turned up that day of the funeral, they were virtually inseparable apart from when social decorum dictated. He could not go with her to school or to work, but waited patiently each day until she came home, and then didn’t leave her side until the next morning.

  “It’s a good thing Zoë loves you almost as much as I do,” she told him kneeling down to rub his velvety soft ears. “You can ride in the back with her, she’ll love that.” She turned to her family. “Well, excuse me, everyone, I’m going to get changed and run out to the barn. It’s a beautiful evening for a ride.”

  “Hey, young lady,” her dad called as she was headed in the direction of her bedroom. “You still haven’t told me what you want to do for your eighteenth birthday. It’s just around the corner, or have you forgotten?” There was a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

  Faedra raised her eyes at Faen, who was looking at her excitedly.

  “Dad, I’ve already told you, I would like a small dinner here with you guys, Amy and Zoë, and I will be in seventh heaven. So don’t go planning anything big for me, will you, I don’t want any fuss. Promise?”

  Her father let out a sigh. He would love to give his little girl a big birthday bash, but knew she wouldn’t enjoy it. He had to be satisfied with a small, family and friends get together instead.

  “Okay, Darling, I promise.” his voice was laced with disappointment.