“Okay, I guess.” She grabs another box and follows me inside the back of the Goodwill store where we drop our loads. Alex is busy carrying two of my end tables inside. I don’t even know how I’m going to repay these two for all their help. I’ve only met Alex maybe two or three times, yet he’s been so kind all day. Drove his truck down here to help me load all my crap and cart it to Goodwill. He hasn’t complained once.
He’s also driving me nuts because so far, he’s refused my offer to fuel up the truck or feed him dinner. Not that I have anything left at the house to make dinner with.
That thought actually makes me laugh. I’m losing my mind.
When Lilly and I have a moment alone, I tap her arm. “What can I do for your brother? I have to at least pay him for gas.”
Lilly shrugs. “Alex won’t take your money.”
Great.
Out of nowhere, Lilly chuckles. When she pulls her phone out again, I understand why. “He must want to get lucky,” Lilly mutters.
She scrolls through the message. “Z wants to know how you’re doing.”
“Aw, that’s so sweet. I miss him.” I’m beside myself broken up over Rock. But beyond my broken heart, I miss Trinity and the guys. My lunch with Heidi was nice, but it also reminded me of how much I’d lost. Especially Z, who has always been sweet to me. All of them really became family.
Until I screwed it all up. In hindsight, Rock only asked if we should slow things down. Take a break from planning the wedding. I’m the one who heard “break up.” I’m the one who left my ring. Left the clubhouse.
It’s not like anyone in the club will still be friends with me if I’m not with Rock.
After more discussion, Alex finally lets me fill his truck at the station near my house.
While we’re standing outside, filling the tank, he catches my eye. “What do you say to dinner one night, Hope?”
“Oh sure, you and Lilly should—”
He shakes his head. “No. I mean I want to take you out to dinner.”
Oh. Oh shit. “I… I… Are you…? You mean a date?”
His full lips curl into a smile. “Yeah, if you need to label it. A date.”
My heart pitters and my cheeks heat up. “I’m flattered. I like you a lot and appreciate all your help today. But I can’t. I’m really not ready. I just got out of a serious…” Oh my God, I can’t even finish the sentence. My eyes blink rapidly to clear the forming tears.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m sorry, Hope. Shit. Lilly told me.” He shakes his head. “I have the worst timing.”
“It’s not you. It’s me. I’m a mess.”
“I don’t know about that.”
The truck has a huge gas tank. It’s taking forever to fill it, but I feel awkward walking away after rejecting him.
“Do you have any place to stay?” he asks.
“I have some leads.”
He nods once. “That’s good. Go ahead and get in the truck. You’re starting to shiver.”
After the awkward moment at the station, I’m not sure how to act around Alex. He’s a classy guy, though, and doesn’t make me feel bad about it. Of course, Lilly knows something’s up. As they’re getting ready to leave, she pulls me aside.
“What’s wrong? You’ve been weird since we stopped for fuel.”
Crap. I don’t know what to tell her. My lips curve into a sad smile. “Alex asked me out.”
“Oh shit. You want me to punch him?”
“No! Jeez. It was really sweet. I just feel bad. He’s so nice. But—”
“You’re not over Rock. I understand.”
I glance down at my wringing hands. “I don’t think I’ll ever be over him, Lilly.”
She gives me a wicked smile. “Can’t blame you there.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Her mouth turns down, but her eyes still glitter with amusement. “Sorry.”
“You’re not mad at me for turning him down?”
“Fuck no. He’s a big boy. He’ll live. He’s always liked you, though, so I’m not surprised.” Her shoulders pull up in a quick shrug.
“Really? He barely knows me.”
She tosses a pointed yet playful look my way. “You’re hot and smart, his two favorite qualities in a woman.”
I snort, then full-out laugh. “I don’t know about either of those.”
Lilly grins and pulls me in for a hug. “Take care of yourself. Call me if you need a place to stay. I have a guest room and wouldn’t mind the company.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
Walking into my house feels weird. I can’t believe how much better I feel letting go of all that stuff that had been weighing me down.
Still brimming with nervous energy, I decide to load up the storage pod.
The rumble of Harley pipes steals my attention as I’m carting boxes into the trailer. My heart thumps wildly at the sound.
Rock. Oh my god. I look like shit.
But it’s not Rock. I almost cry from disappointment.
“Hi, Z—what are you doing here?” I shouldn’t be surprised. He probably hoped to catch Lilly. “Lilly left about an hour ago.”
His eyebrows draw down. “I didn’t come to see Lilly.” He shocks me by enveloping me in a warm hug, then pulls away, still holding my shoulders. “How you been, girl?”
“Okay. Did Rock send you?” I hate the pitiful hopeful note in my voice. Especially when Z’s gaze darts away.
“No, sugar. I wanted to make sure you were doin’ okay. See if you needed anything.”
I can’t swallow over the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”
He lifts his chin toward the storage unit. “What’s that?”
I shake my head, not quite sure how to explain. “Just getting rid of some stuff.”
He nods but doesn’t press me further.
I tilt my head at the house. “Do you want to come in? Want something to drink?”
“Nah, I can’t stay, sweetheart. Thanks, though.”
“How’s Rock?” I blurt out before I lose my nerve.
He pins me with a fierce stare. “He’s a miserable prick without you.”
For some reason, laughter spills out of me. “I’m sorry,” I say.
Z shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. Sometimes shit doesn’t work out.” He inclines his head as if he knows I’m on the verge of crying. “Sometimes you just need time to sort stuff out.”
“Yeah.”
“Everything will work out in the end.”
I’m too choked up to get any words out, so I just nod even though I’m not sure if I agree with him.
Some fucker has the nerve to knock on my door a little past midnight.
I came up here to get away from the party going on downstairs. I should have gone for a ride instead, because all I can see in this room is Hope. Every-fucking-where.
Opening my door, I find Teller. For some reason, he decided to bring the party to me, in the form of two club girls who can’t be much older than eighteen. At least they better fuckin’ be eighteen.
“What?” I bark at him.
“I wanted to introduce you to—”
Fucker doesn’t finish because I grab him by his collar and yank him closer.
“Get lost,” I growl at the girls. They take off running down the hall. “Are you fuckin’ shittin’ me?”
He wraps his hands around my arm, but I’m not done throttling his nosy ass yet.
“You’ve been so miserable. We thought you might benefit from some company.”
The “we” is not lost on me, and I’m looking forward to cracking skulls tomorrow morning. “It’s not your job to worry about who warms my bed.” Disgusted, I toss him backward.
He staggers a bit before catching himself. “She’s not coming back, prez. You had to know eventually she’d get tired of this.”
I never knew Teller had such a fierce death wish. This time, I wrap my hand around his throat to make sure my message sticks. “What goes on between me and my ol’ lady is not your
business.”
“Fuck. Fine,” he gasps out while trying to pry my hand off his neck. I let him go and he braces his hands on his knees, gasping for air.
“After all the shit Hope’s done for you and Heidi, this is how you fuckin’ repay her?”
Finally, he has the decency to look embarrassed. “That’s got nothin’ to do with this.”
“Like fuck it doesn’t.”
He shakes his head and stands up.
“By the way, why are you here in my business when you got a sister to be lookin’ after?”
Teller’s mouth opens and closes before he answers. “She’s at a friend’s house tonight.”
“Fine. Go before I change my mind and choke you some more.”
He slinks off down the hall, and I slam my door shut. When I was younger, I would have put my fists through the wall, kicked stuff, broken everything in sight.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’ll go down to the gym and work off some of my aggression.
Tonight? Tonight, I sit down on the bed and finally pull out the note Hope tucked under my pillow the night she left.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Fuck. That’s my girl. Sweet, simple, direct, and to the point. Z’s right. I have been an asshole. I need to figure out how to fix this, and soon.
I can’t sleep for shit and finally give up trying around four thirty. All my degenerate brothers should be asleep. Downstairs is a fucking mess.
Not my problem.
Flipping on the lights in the gym, I decide to start with some cardio before hitting the weights.
Maybe twenty minutes into my workout, Trinity’s door across the hall opens and she wanders in.
“Morning, prez.”
“Hey.” She seems uncertain, and it dawns on me she’s probably used to having the gym to herself this early in the morning.
“Am I in your way?”
Her eyes widen, and she shakes her head. After a bit, she hops on the treadmill next to me.
“You always up this early?”
“Yup,” she answers.
She’s quiet for a while after that.
“I miss having Hope here,” she says after I get off the elliptical.
Fuck. “I know.”
“You guys are good for each other.”
Are we? She’s good for me. She’s what I need. I’m not so sure it works the other way around.
“You and Wrath getting along?” I’m such a dick for going there.
Trin’s not mad, though. She grins at me. “Good deflecting, prez.”
“I’m headin’ upstairs. You gonna join us for breakfast today?”
“No. I have some stuff I need to take care of.”
Shaking my head, I wave at her and head back upstairs.
Teller is absent at breakfast. Lucky for him. My hands still itch to wrap around his throat. Murphy’s also conveniently missing. No surprise there.
Pointing my fork at Z and Wrath, I fix both of them with a glare. “Were you two in on Teller’s plan last night?”
Wrath snorts and Z shakes his head.
“Please. We’re more subtle than those two asshats,” Wrath answers with a smirk that I want to plant my fist in.
“I don’t think you’d know subtle if it kicked you in your thick head.”
“Look who’s talkin’ about havin’ a thick head,” Z mouths off.
“You have some more fuckin’ advice for me, brother?” I spread my arms wide. “I’m all fuckin’ ears. You’re such a relationship expert. Lay it on me.”
His mouth twists and his eyes narrow. Z is pretty mellow most of the time. But he’s one of the most lethal motherfuckers I know. It takes a lot to piss him off. I seem to be working him to the brink. “Yeah, I got advice for you,” he snaps.
“Good. I’m dying to hear it. Let me warn you—get it all out of your system now. We’re running an MC here, not some fucking circle-jerk relationship counseling service.”
Wrath snorts.
Turning my head, I pin him with a stare. “You got something you need to get off your chest too?”
“Yeah, here’s some advice. You’re being an asshole. Maybe Cinderella’s better off without you after all.”
“Fuck you. We’ll work our shit out when we’re good and ready.”
Wrath turns to Z. “Tell him.”
Z gives Wrath a weary look. “Thanks, fucker.”
“Spill it,” I spit at Z.
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t keep waiting for whatever the fuck you’re waiting for. Girl like her ain’t gonna stay single long.”
“What the fuck?” I swear if he gives me another smirky shrug, I’m gonna kick his ass.
“She ain’t. You know it, and I know it. No disrespect to her, but she’s not the kind of woman who does well without a man. Hell, Lilly’s brother already tried to push up on her.”
“What the fuck you talkin’ about?”
“Yesterday, when he helped her move all her shit, guess he asked her out. But Hope said no because she ain’t over you.”
Thank fuck. My heart’s in my stomach, thinking about Hope with someone else. “Why are you waiting until now to tell me?”
He holds up his hands in surrender. “I just found out myself.”
Wrath jumps in, surprised, I think, to find himself giving a fuck about any of this. “It’s true. He got a text from Lilly a little while ago.”
“Motherfuckin—”
Z interrupts the rant I’m about to go on. “As far as he knew, she’s single. Beautiful woman. Ain’t got no ring. No patch. Had to call another man with a truck to come help her out… Any dude’s gonna see her as fair game. He won’t be the last.”
Z knows every one of my buttons to push.
Every. Single. One.
“It’s a great starting price, Ms. Kendall. I’m sure you’ll have a number of offers right away.”
I honestly don’t care. “Do what you have to.”
Sheila pauses and gives all the empty space a sour look. “I wish you’d left furniture in the bedrooms.”
I shrug because I don’t care about that either. Let her work to earn her five percent commission. “Sorry, it couldn’t be helped.”
She sighs and slips her notes into her handbag. “Leo should have the sign in the ground in a few minutes. I’ll put a lockbox on the door if that’s okay? I’ll call you before showing it to anyone, though.”
“That’s not necessary.” One way or another, I won’t be spending another night in this house.
After the realtor leaves, I wander outside. There’s a white pickup truck full of lumber and signs at the end of my driveway. My “For Sale” sign looks pretty damn good right in the middle of the grass that borders the quiet, dead-end street.
The truck does a lazy circle in the cul-de-sac and leaves. After watching it disappear down the street, I pull out my cell phone. Blood thunders through my ears, drowning out the sounds in my quiet neighborhood. My stomach twists, but before I can chicken out, I send Rock a text.
I need to speak with you.
I don’t know what the hell I’ll do if he doesn’t answer.
Thankfully, I don’t have to figure it out, because my phone vibrates almost immediately.
Where are you?
My house.
Give me 20.
Air rushes out of my lungs as relief washes through me. He’s coming. I can do this. I need to do it now. Before someone else tells him.
It’s another beautiful spring day. Warmer than yesterday, but not too warm. With the unpredictable weather we get in upstate New York, it could be like this until mid-June or it could be ninety degrees next week. So I sit down in the grass beside the for sale sign and soak up the pretty day while I wait.
I’m not waiting long until I hear the rumble of his bike. The sound sends a thrill through me.
He’s here.
Hope’s ring burns a fucking hole in my pocket the entire way to her house. I can’t describe the relief that went throug
h me seeing her name pop up on my phone. The text she sent is so perfectly Hope. I’m a little ashamed she reached out to me first when I know damn well how hard that is for her.
There’s not a thing in this world that could have stopped me from going to her. I don’t know what she wants to talk about. It doesn’t matter. I’m not leaving without her on the back of my bike. At least I know that much.
As always, her narrow road is quiet. I’m reminded of before we were together. All the times I drove by her house, dying to catch a glimpse of her. Then I finally had her, but I let her go. Pushed her away instead of helping her.
I’m lucky she wants to talk to me.
As I approach, I catch her sitting in the grass next to a big white for sale sign. My heart speeds up at the sight. Of her. Of the sign. What I pray like fuck she’s brought me here to tell me. Her head tips up, her lips curving into the sweetest smile. I’ve missed that smile.
At the curb, I shut down the bike and take a moment to fill my lungs with air.
Hope unfolds herself from the ground. “Hi,” she says softly.
I’m fighting every urge inside me to wrap her in my arms and kiss the ever-loving fuck out of her. I lift my chin at the sign. “What’s this?”
Her hands flutter nervously in front of her. “I wanted you to… I wanted to tell you… for you to see. I put it up for sale today.”
My heart constricts and I swallow hard. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes. I did.”
Her head drops and she stares at the grass for a few seconds before finally looking up and meeting my eyes.
“Will you come inside?”
It takes a minute to loosen my tongue. “Yeah. Sure, doll.”
Her eyes widen in shock, but she nods, turns, and walks up the driveway. I catch up to her easily. Our arms brush, but her hands are stuffed in her pockets, so I do the same. With measured calm, I take in the storage container next to her garage. This could be something else. She might tell me she’s decided to move to the other side of the country. I wouldn’t put an impulsive move like that past my girl.
And then what the fuck would I do?
Follow her wherever the fuck she goes and drag her back home with me.
She holds the door open for me to follow her inside. As usual, Hope’s a contradiction of shy and sexy. So sweet I want to lick her all over. So sexy I want to take her to the floor and fuck the hell out of her.