Wray wished he could take back his words and actions. He hadn't meant to speak to her so harshly, hadn’t meant to tell her about Van. He didn't talk about him. Not to Grim. Not even to Tora.
He had been proud when Adana had chosen him as her male, but he'd also known that it had more to do with him being Emperor than him being a worthy male. Kim saw him as a worthy male, but his actions weren't those of one. Would she forgive him?
"I am sorry, Kim." He said, moving cautiously towards her. "I should not have acted like that. I should not have spoken like that to you."
"You were afraid I would drown."
"Yes, but that is still no excuse for what I did."
"What did you do, Wray?"
"I touched you in anger. I shook you." Wray felt his shame grow. "I upset you."
“That’s not why I’m upset, Wray.”
“It’s not?”
“No, I’m upset because you lost your offspring because you lost your female… and because I’m relieved.”
“What do you mean?” Wray looked at her shocked.
“I’m sorry you lost your son, Wray. I can’t imagine how terrible that must have been for you. It’s something I never want to experience, but I’m also crying because I’m relieved that I don’t have to compete with one of your females… and that shames me. If I truly loved you, I would want you to be happy even if it wasn't with me.”
Wray didn’t know what to say. Never had a female expressed herself to him thusly. That she would want him to be happy… no matter who he was with. It was not only shocking, but also unheard of. A female always expected to be the center of a male’s life, even though she would not remain in it. She expected him to be gentle with her at all times. He could never raise his voice to her, especially in anger or she would become upset and seclude herself but those things had not upset Kim. What upset her was that he might find her lacking when compared to Adana.
“Kim…” Wray wrapped his arms around her pulling her close again. “You mean so much more to me than Adana ever did. Don’t you know that?” Bending his knees so he could look her in the eye, he continued. “Have I failed you by not making you understand how important you are to me? How much you mean to me? If I have then the shame is mine, not yours.”
“I know what you’ve told me, Wray it’s just…”
“Just what, little one?”
“Your world is so different than mine that I sometimes find it hard to believe, like a mother abandoning her child. It’s not that it doesn’t happen on Earth and it’s not like there aren’t females who are with a male because of what he can give her, but it’s not the norm and it’s not how I grew up. Even when I was terrible to my parents, they never deserted me, never stopped loving me. I always knew they would be there for me that they would keep me safe… and then they were gone.”
“What happened to them, Kim?” Wray asked and felt her tense in his arms.
“They died,” she whispered, “in a car accident… transport accident.” She corrected. “They’d gone away for the weekend and on the way back another transport hit them and they died instantly.”
“I’m sorry, Kim.”
“Me too… things had just started to get better again, I was finally getting over losing Warrior and then they were gone.”
“Warrior?” Wray questioned tensing at the affection he heard in her voice for another male. “You said you had no male.”
“I don’t. I didn’t.” Kim frowned at him. “Warrior was my dog, Wray.”
“Dog?” he questioned.
“Yes. A pet.” When he still looked at her confused, she tried again. “An animal that lived with me?”
“A haiwan?” Wray asked and Kim searched her mind and found that was the Tornian word for pet.
“Yes, a haiwan. I got him for my tenth birthday and named him Warrior because he had survived so much.”
“I do not understand.” Wray thought of the haiwans he had known. Most were very small and timid and only survived when carefully cared for. They weren’t like Warriors.
“The people that had Warrior before me, used him as a fighting dog.”
“Fight dog…”
“Yes. They would make him fight other dogs, so they could bet on which one would win. Warrior always won. So they also used him as a sire, hoping his offspring would do the same.”
“We have such animals too, but they would never be used as a haiwan, they are too large and deadly.”
“That was Warrior. He was massive, strong and deadly and that’s all anyone ever saw when they looked at him, what was on the outside. I saw what was on the inside; saw how gentle he could be, how caring. All he wanted was for someone to love and accept him for who he was and I did.”
“Your manno allowed such a creature near you?” Wray couldn’t hide his shock.
“He really didn’t have a choice. I knew Warrior was mined the minute I saw him and I wasn’t giving him up.” She gave him a slight smile. “I can be stubborn sometimes.”
“Really?” Wray found himself smiling down at her. “I hadn’t noticed that.”
“Yeah, right, so anyway Warrior came home with us and life was great…” the smile left her lips as she continued, “until he died.”
“I am sorry, Kim.”
“So am I. He died in my arms… after he saved my life.” Devastated eyes looked at him as she remembered the day. “I was crossing the street, almost home when a… transport going too fast came down the street. I froze. I just stood there in the middle of the street watching it bear down on me and then Warrior was there.” She could see it all happening again in her mind. “He knocked me out of the way and it hit him instead of me. The force of the hit knocked him halfway down the block. I can still hear it. The sound he made when he hit... I crawled to him on my hands and knees, screaming the entire way. When I got to him… he just looked up at me, his eyes full of so much love, even though his body was broken and he licked my face. He licked away my tears as if he couldn’t bear to see them… then he died.”
Wray gently wiped away the tears that had flowed down Kim’s cheeks as she told him about her pet and found he didn’t like them any more than Warrior had. They didn’t belong on her. She should never be sad, should never experience loss and he would make it his mission to be sure it never happened again.
“He was truly worthy of the title ‘Warrior.'” He told her.
“Yes. He was.” She whispered and sunk into the comfort of Wray’s embrace.
Chapter Eight
Wray’s knuckles were white as he gripped the top of the cave’s entrance, staring out at the raging storm. After they’d returned to the chamber, they’d eaten and Kim had fallen asleep in his arms, emotionally exhausted. He didn’t like how easily she tired and hoped to find the storm easing. Instead, it seemed to be gaining strength. He had told her that storms like these could rage up to a week, but in truth, he’d never known one too. He’d told her that before he’d gotten to know her, telling her what he would have told a Tornian female so she would be appreciative when the time was shorter. Now he thought he might be right.
He knew Kim was concerned about what she would face once they left here, concerns he understood, but he wanted to get her on the Searcher. He wanted to get her into the deep repair unit so he could be sure she was truly healed. He wanted to be able to feed her until she was full. He wanted her to rest in his bed, not in a thin survival blanket, on a hard cold floor.
He wanted to see her in his home, surrounded by its beauty and comfort. He wanted to see her wearing his House color and know she was safe and protected. He wanted to Join with her... to make her his... forever. He wanted to do all these things, but could do nothing until the storm ended.
Soft hands slipping around his waist brought his mind back to the present. They traveled up his chest as warm kisses were pressed against his back.
“Why aren’t you resting?” He asked, covering one of her hands with his.
“I missed you.” She murm
ured against his back.
Reaching an arm back, he pulled her to his side. “I haven’t been gone long.” He said, kissing the top of her head.
“I still missed you.” She looked out into the storm “What's got you staring out into the storm? Is something wrong?”
“No. I was just thinking about how beautiful you are going to look in my home.”
“Your home?” she questioned, looking up at him.
“Yes, on the planet Tornian.”
“I hadn’t realized…” Kim frowned slightly. Why hadn’t she realized?
“Where did you think we would live?” He asked returning her frown.
“I thought we would be living on the Searcher.” She told him honestly. “I guess I should have realized you’d have to have a home somewhere since you had Adana and Van.”
“I do, it is called Torino, House Torino and I think you will be very happy there. There are rooms filled with beautiful things for you to enjoy. It has gardens you can walk in…”
“You mean ‘we.' Gardens we can walk in.”
“If that is what you wish.” Wray smiled, enjoying the thought of walking in the gardens with her, especially at night, with the light of Tornian’s moon shining down on her. She would be so beautiful in it. “I would enjoy that very much.” Leaning down, he captured her mouth for a hard kiss.
“Tell me more about your home.” Kim encouraged snuggling in closer to his side.
“Our home.” Wray corrected and received a brilliant smile in return.
“Our home.” She agreed. “I'd like that. I’d like to have a home again.” Kim's smile dimming slightly as she thought about home.
“I am sorry that I do not know where your Earth is, Kim.” Wray told her, turning so he blocked a sudden gust of wind. “Would you,” he found himself asking as he moved them away from the entrance, “return if you could?”
“No.” She immediately replied. “There’s no one left for me there.”
“What about your sister? Jen?”
“She and Todd went missing over six months ago, that’s why the Ganglians found me.”
“What do you mean?”
Kim sighed heavily as she rubbed her hands over his chest, taking comfort in his solid presence. She knew she needed to tell him what had happened. How she had gotten here. They needed to be honest with each other if they were going to make this work.
“I’d just turned sixteen when mom and dad died. On Earth, you’re not considered an adult until you’re eighteen. I wasn’t allowed to live on my own, I had to have a guardian. Mom and dad had already arranged it that if anything ever happened to them Jen would be my guardian. Todd wasn’t happy about it.”
“This Todd, he is the one who Joined with your sister? The one you spoke of before?”
“Yes. He was Jen’s husband.”
“Why would he be unhappy to take responsibility for you? It is an honor for a male to be asked to care for a young female. It is a measure of his worth.”
“Maybe on Tornian but not so much on Earth. Todd and Jen had plans… dreams… Jen had graduated from culinary school and had spent the last couple of years working for other people. She and Todd had scrimped and saved so they could travel the world and experience different cultures and foods. My parents’ death changed that.”
“That was not your fault, Kim.”
“No, but my attitude was. You see, Todd and I had never really gotten along. I always thought he was an arrogant jerk and he thought I was a spoiled brat.” Kim shrugged her shoulders. “Turns out we were both right.”
“No, Kim…” Wray immediately denied.
“Yes, Wray. Todd was right about me. I was spoiled. I didn’t want to go live with them and I made sure they knew it. He didn’t want me there and he made sure I knew it. We fought all the time and poor Jen was left playing the peacemaker between the male she loved and the sister she felt responsible for.” Kim found herself lost in the past as she thought about what her sister had put up with.
“Kim…”
Wray’s concern brought her back to the present. “Sorry. So on my eighteenth birthday, Todd and I got into it again and Jen tried to calm things down, but this time I didn’t have to listen. I was eighteen and I knew more than she did and that’s exactly what I told her, only I wasn’t very nice about it.” Kim felt the shame of her actions fill her again. “By the time I was done Jen was crying and I just walked away.”
“It took me nearly six months to finally admit I was wrong.” Kim looked up at Wray but instead of seeing disappointment, she saw understanding. “I went to their apartment to tell her how sorry I was, but they weren’t there. A neighbor finally told me they’d gone on a trip and would be back in a few days. I didn’t want to wait so I tried to call Jen. She never answered and they never came back.”
“What happened to them?”
“No one knows. Hundreds of people went out searching for them and the ten other people that were with them, but they never found them. After six months, I couldn’t take it any longer, so I went looking for them. That’s how stinky bastard found me. I was looking for Jen.”
“You went searching for them alone?” Wray didn’t try to hide his anger.
“She was my sister.” Kim looked up at him defiantly. “I don’t know if you can understand what that means, but I’d already lost my parents, I wasn’t going to lose her too, not without a fight.” Jerking herself out of his arms, Kim walked over and stared out at the storm. It swirled around so wildly… was so out of control… it reminded her of her life. Would the chaos ever end?
Wray opened his mouth to argue with her then snapped it shut because he did understand. If Grim had gone missing, nothing in the universe would have stopped him from searching for his brother. Could he fault Kim for being as loyal to her sister?
“I know they’re dead.” Unaware of where Wray’s thought’s had gone, Kim finally voiced the truth, she hadn’t wanted to face. “They have to be. It’s the only way Jen would have left me.”
“I’m sorry Kim.” Wray slowly pulled her into his arms, giving her a chance to protest if she wanted. “I do understand.” He told her. “I would be lost without my brother, Grim.”
Kim looked up at him, surprised. “You have a brother? I thought you said the female always left.”
“She does, but sometimes the female remains long enough to present a second offspring before she is enticed away by another.” This is not what happened with Wray’s mother, but he wasn’t ready to confess that to her, not yet.
“So you do understand why I went looking for her.”
“Yes, I understand, Kim, but that does not change the fact that you should not have gone alone. You nearly died because of it.”
“Well, it’s not like I knew there were stinky, hairy aliens out there that liked to kidnap women and torture them! The worst that I thought could happen was that I’d ruin my shoes.”
“What?” Wray gave her a confused look, not understanding her words.
“I’m a city girl, Wray. This…” she waved her hand around the cave, “is not what I’m used to.”
“City girl…”
“City girl. I grew up in a place that had lots and lots of people living in it. We call them cities. It’s what I’m used to, not this.” She gestured around the cave.
“This is strange to you?” Wray couldn’t hide his shock.
“Of course it is.”
“But you haven’t complained… not once.”
“Would it have made any difference?” she asked.
“No, but…”
“I take it a Tornian female would have complained.”
“Yes.” He agreed. “About the lack of food, the lack of privacy. About not being able to leave.”
“But that’s not your fault. You got us here alive.”
“That would not matter to a Tornian female. She would expect a male to fulfill her every need, no matter how unreasonable, wherever they were, whenever she demanded it. If he did not sh
e would consider him unfit and leave him.”
“That’s just crazy, Wray. Not to mention wrong! Even I’m not that selfish or stubborn.”
“You are neither, Kim. This Todd may have thought so, but he was wrong. He should have put your needs before his own. It seems to me, he was a selfish one."
Chapter Nine
"Wray?" Kim asked softly, looking at the ceiling as her fingers absently ran down his chest, caressing every bulging muscle, exploring every deep crevice. Together they laid down on the survival blanket wrapped in each other's arms as darkness settled in.
"What, my Kim?" Wray's words rumbled under her ear.
"How do the luciferins know to dim when the sun sets?"
Wray frowned at the question. "I do not know," he told her looking at the plants. "I've never heard of them doing this. Luciferins are unique to Pontus, but even here, they are rare.
"Oh," she said, her fingers reversed their journey as she spoke. "It’s sad that something so beautiful can only be seen by so few. I'll miss them when we leave."
"I would take them with us if I could, Kim."
"Thank you." She tilted her head up giving him a gentle smile. "But if I can only take one thing from this place then I'd rather take you."
"Goddess, Kim," Wray whispered, his fingers sinking into her hair as he pulled her up for a gentle kiss. How had he ever survived before her?
“Hmm, that’s nice.” She said smiling at him only to be caught by surprise when she yawned. “I don’t understand how I can still be tired. All I'm doing is sleeping.”
“That is because you have been through a great deal, Kim. Your body is doing what it needs to do to heal. You must let it.”
“It shouldn’t take this long, not after you healed me. You said the Ganglians didn't have me for more than two days. We’ve been here longer than that so I shouldn’t still feel like this." She said grumpily.
“I did not say that, Kim" Wray said and lifted her so they lay chest to chest, her legs between his as his arms wrapped around her, cocooning her in his warmth. "I said no Tornian female had ever recovered after two days at the hands of the Ganglians. I do not know how long they had you because I do not know where Earth is. The Ganglians initiated a purge of their navigational history as soon as we intercepted them.”