Emotion was for the masses.
It had always been easier to be the Duke of Disdain than to let them see the rest of him. The part that was not so disdainful.
He hated that Juliana knew the nickname. Hated that she thought of him that way. He met her glittering blue gaze and read the anger and defensiveness there. He could deal with those responses from her. But not the sadness.
He could not bear her sadness.
She read his thoughts, and her eyes flashed fury. “Don’t. Don’t you dare pity me. I don’t want it.” She tried to shake off his grip. “I’d rather have your disinterest.”
The words shocked him into letting her go. “My disinterest?”
“That’s what it is, is it not? Boredom? Apathy?”
He’d had enough.
“You think my feelings toward you apathetic?” His voice shook, and he advanced on her. “You think you bore me?”
She blinked under the heat of his words, stepping back toward the side of the stall. “Don’t I?”
He shook his head slowly, continuing toward her, stalking her in the small space. “No.”
She opened her mouth then closed it, not knowing what to say.
“God knows you are infuriating . . .” Nervousness flared in her eyes. “And impulsive . . .” Her back came up against the wall, and she gave a little squeak, even as he advanced. “And altogether maddening . . .” He placed one hand to her jaw, carefully lifting her face to his, feeling the leap of her pulse under his fingertips. “And thoroughly intoxicating . . .” The last came out on a low growl, and her lips parted, soft and pink and perfect.
He leaned close, his lips a fraction from hers.
“No . . . you are not boring.”
Chapter Ten
Hay and horses make for unpleasant eau de toilette.
The stables are no place for a exquisite lady.
—A Treatise on the Most Exquisite of Ladies
Across our great nation, vicars draft sermons on the prodigal son . . .
—The Scandal Sheet, October 1823
Juliana had been enthralled by him as he’d crossed the stall, stalking her until she could go no farther, caging her with his long arms, and touching her—giving her the contact that she had not known she yearned for until that moment. And his voice, that low, dark rumble of whiskey and velvet, had scrambled her thoughts, making her forget why she was here in this dark stable to begin with.
He had hovered there, a breath away, waiting for her. Waiting as though he could have stood for hours, for days, while she considered her options, while she decided what to do next.
But she did not need days or hours.
She barely needed seconds.
She did not know what would happen later that evening or tomorrow or next week. She did not know what she wanted to happen. Except this. She wanted him. She wanted this moment, in the darkened stables. She wanted a heartbeat of passion that would last her through whatever was to come.
He was enormous, his wide shoulders blocking out the dim light from the lantern on the wall of the stables, casting him into harsh, wicked shadow. She could not see his eyes but imagined their amber depths flashing with barely contained passion.
Perhaps it was not the case . . . but she preferred to believe that he could not get enough of her.
She placed her hands on him, feeling her way up his arms, reveling in the way that his muscles rippled beneath the wool of his coat, wishing that there were less fabric between them. Her fingers traced over broad, tense shoulders, to his neck, where she finally, finally connected with warm, soft skin. He bent his head as she tangled her hands in his soft, golden curls, either to afford her better access or because he no longer had the strength to resist.
She liked the idea of the latter.
His lips were at her ear now, his breath coming in ragged bursts, and she delighted in the sound, so contrary to his normal, cool countenance.
“You do not sound bored.”
He gave a harsh laugh and tortured her with a whisper at her ear. “If I had a hundred years to describe how I feel right now, bored would not make an appearance.”
She turned her head at the words, her gaze colliding with his. “Be careful, Simon. You shall make me like you. And then where will we be?”
He did not answer, and she waited for him to close the distance between them. Marveled at his control when he did not. His endless, unwavering control.
She could not match it. Did not try.
She pressed her lips to his and gave herself up to his kiss.
The moment their lips touched, Simon moved. He inhaled deeply and wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in the heat and strength and scent of him—fresh lemon and tobacco flower.
He pulled her closer, his grip strong and powerful, his hands setting her aflame. There was something different about this kiss from the one that morning in Hyde Park . . . that had been a kiss of frustration and fury, fear and anger.
This kiss was an exploration.
It sought and found, chased and captured. It was a kiss that suggested they had an eternity during which to learn each other, and when his tongue ran rough-smooth across her bottom lip, sending wave after wave of sensation rocketing through her, she hoped they did have an eternity. Surely, it would take that long for her to tire of this. Of him. She gasped at the feel of him, so powerful, so wicked.
He lifted his head at the sound, his shadowed eyes searching hers. “Is this . . .”
Her fingers stretched into his soft golden curls, pulling him back to her. “It is perfect.”
He growled his satisfaction at her answer, moving his hands to cup her face in his palms, tilting her head to the perfect angle, and taking her mouth in a single stark claiming that stole her breath. As he tormented her with deep, luxurious kisses that made it impossible to think or speak or do anything but feel.
Her legs turned to water, and he caught her, lifting her off her feet as though she weighed nothing at all. She met his force with her own, desperate to wrap around him even as her legs became tangled in silk and cotton. She kicked out, nearly hitting him in the shin, and he lifted his mouth from hers, curious.
“There is too much fabric in these damned gowns,” she said, frustrated.
He set her down and one strong, warm hand stroked down her neck to the wide bare expanse of skin there. “I find there is the right amount in certain places.” He ran one finger along the edge of her dress, setting her skin on fire. “This gown is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
She pressed toward him, unable to stop herself. Knowing that it was utterly wanton behavior. “I had it made for you.” She kissed him again, nipping his bottom lip before she added, “I thought you would like it. I thought you would not be able to resist it.”
“You thought right. But, I am coming to see your point. Entirely too much fabric.” And then he pulled the edge of the gown down, revealing the pebbled, aching tip of one breast. “So beautiful.” The whisper was dark and velvet, and she watched as he traced a single finger in a circle there once, twice. Then the finger moved, tilting her chin up to meet his dark gaze. “Yes or no?”
It was an imperious question, spoken as though he was gifting her with one fleeting moment to decide what she wanted before he took the lead once more and she tumbled, headfirst, into the world of which he was master.
“Yes,” she whispered, her fingers threading into his hair and pulling him to her. “Yes, Simon.”
Something flashed, dark and unhinged in his eyes, and he lowered his head, taking her lips in a searing kiss before he tracked his lips down her throat and across the pale skin of her breast. Her fingers flexed in his curls.
Yes. Simon.
He was in control.
He was ruining her for all others.
And she did not care.
His tongue brushed against the devastatingly sensitive skin at the tip of her breast, and she bit her lip, arching. Acquiescing.
“Juliana?”
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If the barn had gone up in flames, she could not have been more shocked than she was by the sound of her brother calling her name.
Simon went instantly rigid, straightening and immediately restoring the edge of her dress to its proper place as he did so, and she scrambled to push past him, fumbling with her skirts, spinning in a circle to get her bearings as she said, “In—in here, Gabriel.” She finally picked up the hard-bristled brush again, and said, loudly, “And she particularly enjoys it when I brush her flanks firmly.”
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you—what are you doing in the stables alone in the middle of the—” Ralston stepped into the stall and froze, taking in first Simon, then Juliana. It did not take him long to read the situation.
Correctly.
When he moved, he was like lightning.
Ignoring Juliana’s gasp, he stormed past her and grasped the lapels of Simon’s topcoat, pulling him away from the wall where he had leaned, attempting to appear casual. Ralston spun the duke around, throwing him out the stall door and into the wall opposite, sending the horses stabled along the corridor into a chorus of nervous whinnies.
“Gabriel!” she cried, following them into the hallway in time to see her brother grasp Simon’s cravat in one hand and deliver a powerful blow to the jaw with the other.
“I’ve wanted to do that for twenty years, you arrogant bastard,” Ralston growled.
Why wasn’t Simon fighting back?
“Gabriel, stop!”
Her brother didn’t listen. “On your feet.”
Simon stood, rubbing his fast-bruising jaw with one hand. “You received the first one for free, Ralston.”
Ralston’s shoulders were tensed, his fists raised and ready for battle. If he was feeling anything like Juliana had been feeling when she left the house, he would not stop until one or both of them were unconscious; considering Leighton’s flashing eyes and tensed muscles, Juliana imagined it would be both of them.
“I shall pay the fee for the rest with pleasure,” Ralston stormed at the duke again, getting in a quick jab before Leighton blocked the next blow and sent Ralston’s head snapping back with a wicked hook.
Juliana winced at the sound of flesh on flesh and, without thinking, intervened.
“No! No one is paying any fee! Not now, not ever!” Juliana pushed between them, both hands up—a referee in a perverse boxing match.
“Juliana, get out of the way.” Leighton’s words were soft and dark.
“Speak to her with such familiarity again, and I’ll see you at dawn,” Ralston said, furious. “In fact, give me one reason not to call you out right now.”
“Because we’ve had enough scandal for one evening, Gabriel,” Juliana answered. “Even I can see that.”
And like that, the fight went out of him.
She did not lower her hands until he lowered his. But when he did, she said, “Nothing happened.”
He gave a little humorless laugh, meeting Leighton’s gaze over her head. She saw the murderous glint in his eyes. “You forget I have not always been an old married man, sister. I know when nothing has happened. Ladies do not look like you do when nothing has happened. Men like Leighton do not happily take punches when nothing has happened.”
She felt a blush rising on her cheeks, but stood her ground. “You are wrong. Nothing happened.”
Except something did happen, a little voice whispered teasing in a dark corner of her mind. Something wonderful.
She ignored it. “Tell him, Your Grace.”
Simon did not speak, and she looked over her shoulder at him. “Tell him,” she repeated.
It was as though she were not there. He was looking directly over her head, right into Ralston’s eyes.
“What if it were your sister, Leighton,” Ralston said softly from behind her. “Would it be nothing then?”
Something flashed in Simon’s gaze. Anger. No. Frustration. No, something else. Something more complicated.
And she saw what he was about to do a moment before he did it.
She had to stop him.
“No! Don’t—”
She was too late.
“I’ll marry her.”
She saw the words more than heard them—watched as his perfect lips formed the syllables even as their sound was masked by the roar in her ears.
She turned immediately to her brother. “No. He won’t marry me.”
Silence stretched long and tense, filling the barn to the rafters. Uncertainty flared, and she looked to Simon again. His face was cold and unmoving, his eyes fixed on Ralston as though he were waiting for a pronouncement of death.
And he was.
He did not want to marry her. She was not his pretty English bride, who was likely fast asleep and far from scandal. But he would, because that was what was done. Because he was the kind of man who did what was expected without argument. Without fight.
He would marry her not because he wanted her . . . but because he should.
Not that she wanted him to want her.
Liar.
She would be damned if she would suffer for his misplaced nobility.
Ralston did not meet her gaze, did not turn his attention from the duke.
She looked to Leighton, amber eyes guarded. He nodded once.
Oh for—
She turned back to Gabriel. “Hear me, brother. I won’t marry him. Nothing happened.”
“No, you won’t marry him.”
Shock coursed through her. “I won’t?”
“No. The duke appears to have forgotten that he is already affianced.”
Her jaw dropped. It couldn’t be true. “What?”
“Go on, Leighton. Tell her it’s true,” Ralston said, fury in his words. “Tell her that you are not so perfect after all.”
Anger flared in Simon’s eyes. “I have not asked the lady.”
“Only her father,” Ralston said, all smugness.
She wanted Simon to refute the point, but she saw the truth in his eyes.
He was engaged.
He was engaged, and he had been kissing her. In the stables. As though she were worth nothing more than a tumble.
As though she were her mother.
Even as he had told her she was nothing like her mother.
She turned to him, not hiding the accusation in her eyes, and to give him credit, he did try to speak. “Juliana—”
She simply did not want to hear him. “No. There is nothing to say.”
She watched the long column of his throat work, thinking that perhaps he was looking for the right thing to say before she remembered that this was Leighton, who always had the right thing to say.
Except for when there clearly was no right thing.
Ralston stepped in, then, ending the moment. “If you come within three feet of my sister again, Leighton, you’d best have your seconds chosen.”
There was a long, tense moment before Leighton said, “It will not be a problem to stay away from her. It would not have been if you kept a tighter leash on those under your care.”
And with those cold, unfeeling words, the Duke of Disdain left the stables.
Her mother had returned.
“Redeo, Redis, Redit . . .”
Her mother had returned for God knew what reason.
“Redimus, Reditis, Redeunt . . .”
Her mother had returned for God knew what reason and Juliana had nearly gotten herself ruined in the stables.
“I return, you return, she returns . . .”
Her mother had returned for God knew what reason and Juliana had nearly gotten herself ruined in the stables by the Duke of Leighton.
And she’d enjoyed it.
Not the mother returning part, but the other.
That part had been quite . . . magnificent.
Until he’d been engaged. And had happily turned his back and exited her life.
Leaving her to deal with her mother.
Who had returned.
She sighed
, slapping the palms of her hands against the cool brocade coverlet on her bed.
Was it any wonder that she could not sleep?
It was not exactly as though she had had the easiest of evenings.
He’d left.
Well, first he’d proposed marriage.
After making her feel wonderful.
After proposing marriage to another woman.
Something twisted deep inside her. Something easily identified.
Longing. She did not even understand it. He was an awful man, arrogant and proud, cold and unfeeling. Except for when he was not those things. Except for when he was teasing and charming and filled with fire. With passion.
She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the ache in her chest.
He’d made her want him. And then he’d left.
“I leave, you leave . . .”
Verb conjugations were not helping.
Frustrated, she leapt from the bed, yanking open the door and heading down the wide, dark hallway of Ralston House, running the tips of her fingers along the wall, counting doors until she reached the center staircase of the town house. Padding down the steps, she registered a dim light coming from her brother’s study.
She did not knock.
Ralston stood at the enormous windows of his study, one hand playing idly with a glass orb she had bought him several months ago as he stared into the great black abyss beyond. His dark hair was mussed, and he’d removed his coat and waistcoat and cravat.
Juliana winced as she registered the bruise on his jaw from where Simon had hit him.
She had done very little but cause him trouble.
If their positions were reversed, she would have tossed her out on her ear months ago.
He looked over when Juliana entered, but did not scold her for her trespass. She took a seat by his desk and pulled her bare feet up beneath her dressing gown as he turned back to the window.
Neither sibling spoke for a long while, and the silence stretched wide and somehow comfortable between them. Juliana took a deep breath. “I would like to clean the air.”