It got easier as we traded the soft sand for hard. I sighed in relief as the tide lapped over my foot with lukewarm water.
Pippa kicked in the shallows, keeping her head down.
The expanse of beach existed before us. I kept going. I had no idea what I was looking for, but hopefully, we’d come across some shallow pools that trapped sea life at low tide.
Over the past few days, I’d studied the ocean and the tide ebbed and flowed by a few metres, silently creeping up the beach before retreating in apology.
The sun beat down and I cursed that I hadn’t had the foresight to grab the baseball cap from the pilot’s kit. Pippa’s long hair protected the back of her neck, but her brow and nose slowly grew red as we continued down the beach.
“What are you looking for?” she finally asked.
Sweat rivered down my back and my needs spread equally between food, water, and throwing myself head first into the ocean to cool down. “Anything we can eat.”
Her pretty face scrunched with eagerness. “Like what?”
“Like...” I pointed at the sea. “Like fishes or lobsters or crabs or anything really.”
I’m not good at this educational stuff.
“Crabs? I saw one that lived in a shell in my friend’s house. She had a tank with a bunch of them.” She twirled her fingers. “I don’t remember what it was called, though.”
That one I do know.
“A hermit crab.”
“Yes.” Her hair bounced as she nodded. “Where do other crabs live if they don’t have a shell?”
I stopped, brushing my hair from my forehead and cursing the thickening beard on my chin. A few days’ stubble itched like crazy. I hadn’t packed a razor in my hand luggage for security reasons and craved a blade to get rid of the growth.
“They hide under rocks and sometimes bury themselves in the sand.” Looking at our feet, I used the end of my crutch to dig into the wet granules to demonstrate. Maybe, I’d get lucky and uncover a few edible critters. However, the thought of eating the liquid meat with no way to cook them wasn’t appealing—no matter how hungry I was.
Pippa dropped to her haunches as I swirled my crutch and made a hole that immediately filled with seawater. “I don’t see one.”
“No, they’re very sneaky. They probably knew we were coming and tunnelled under us.”
Pippa giggled, poking the hole.
I kept my crutch away from her petite fingers.
Air bubbles popped in the watery depths. I peered closer, just in case a crab did appear, but nothing scurried to the top.
Damn.
Pippa’s fingers disappeared into the sand, her tongue sticking out. “I think I feel something.”
Just debris or driftwood.
I had no hope it would be anything worthwhile, but I praised the girl as if she’d found the Titanic. “Really? Awesome. Can you pull it out and show me?”
Her face tightened with determination. Her second hand disappeared in the hole. Her toes planted and she rocked backward, using her inertia to free whatever she’d grabbed hold of.
She fell backward with a splat, holding up her prize. “Here.”
Holy crap.
Adrenaline drenched my system as I gently accepted the nondescript shell of a clam.
A clam!
“Wow, great find, Pippi.”
She giggled. “That’s not my name.”
I waggled my eyebrow. “It is now. Pippi Longstocking. Did you ever watch that show?”
She shook her head.
“Neither did I, but a girl I once knew did. She braided her hair with wire and made pigtails stick out the side of her head.”
“Eww.” Pippa wrinkled her nose. “If you can call me that, then I want to call you something.”
“You don’t like my name?”
She paused. “It’s long.”
“All right.” I tapped my fingers against my lip. “Well, you choose. Whatever you want.”
Seconds switched to a full minute while intense deliberation tightened her face. “G.”
“G?”
She nodded. “G.”
I’d had a few abbreviations of my name growing up. Gal, Gallo, Way-wasted. But never G.
I kinda like it.
I shrugged. “G, it is.”
“Good.” She sniffed with authority as if my identity had just been switched by the queen herself. Then, as if the topic completely uninterested her anymore, her attention fell to the mollusc in my hand. “Can we eat it?”
The very mention of eating made caveman urges rise and demand I smash the innocent creature apart and suck its meat straight away.
If I had the damn Swiss Army knife, I could get into it.
I looked at my crutch. I could smash it open...but then it would be covered in sand. As much as my body demanded to feed, I wouldn’t waste it. Not if it was the only one we found.
“Yes. We can. But before we do...let’s see if we can find some more, yeah?”
She pouted. “But I want to eat it now.”
“Me, too. But we can’t forget about your brother or Estelle, can we? That wouldn’t be fair.”
Her stomach growled, a wildness entering her gaze. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the clam, but slowly, she switched from feral monster to empathetic girl. “I guess.”
Hopping forward, I dug another hole with my crutch. “I’ll dig and you search, okay? I can’t bend down.”
Seeing as she was soaking from landing on her butt, she crawled on all fours to the new hole and stuck her hands in it.
I didn’t breathe as she foraged.
A few moments later, she squealed with delight. Yanking her hands up, she presented another clam.
If I could’ve moved, I would’ve grabbed her and danced around like a crazy idiot. Instead, all I could do was pat her head and swallow back my happiness. “Good work, Pippi.”
She grinned. “One for me, one for Conner. We need one for you and Stel.”
“Stel?”
“Yes, she told me I can call her that.”
I hated the jealousy that a little girl was given a nickname to use when I’d kissed Estelle, wanted her, and been kept at arm’s length.
I had nothing to offer her.
But now...Pippa and I had found hope.
I’ll show her that I’m better than what I portray.
Looking at the expanse of beach, I murmured, “Come on, Pippi, let’s get dinner.”
.............................
Smoke.
Something’s on fire.
My hobbling became a painful mismatch of shuffle-hops. “Pippa, run ahead. Make sure the camp is in one piece.”
“Conner!” She took off, her entire body saturated from clam digging.
We weren’t far from home, but the fact I couldn’t run drove me insane!
Pippa would beat me but what the hell could she do if something was on fire?
We’ll lose everything.
Everything we couldn’t afford to lose.
I followed as fast as I could. The messenger bag dripped down my thigh from excreted seawater from the clams.
Nausea from moving too quickly mingled with starvation as I cut across the soft sand.
Instead of stumbling onto a scene of carnage where the sun had somehow incinerated our belongings just for the hell of it, I slammed to a halt as Conner grabbed Pippa in his arms and danced with her.
Estelle laughed, waving a palm frond with fiery ends.
“What the hell is going on?”
I couldn’t decide if I was impressed, grateful, or pissed off that, once again, Estelle had made me look like an idiot. She’d conjured fire. She’d created heat and cooking facilities and—
Goddammit, who am I kidding?
I wasn’t falling for this woman. I was absolutely bloody besotted.
Where had she come from and how the hell did I make her mine?
Conner clapped his hands, his face rosy and flushed. “Fire! We made fire!??
?
For a second, I ignored the massive implications of such a marvel and peered at Estelle.
Had she obeyed me? Had she avoided going near the dead? However, nothing haunted her gaze or tainted her voice. Her eyes glittered as she spun like a dancer, holding her burning frond aloft. “We did it! We created fire!”
“I can see that.” My gaze leapt to the sleigh-like contraption by our belongings. Not only had they succeeded in something wondrous, but they’d also carted back items that would extend our likelihood of survival.
I wasn’t besotted; I was infatuated, intoxicated, completely and utterly blown away by how incredible this island-wrecked woman was.
My heart pumped like an out-of-control locomotive complete with coal smoke. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as Estelle tossed the burning plant into the fire and wiped the back of her hand on her cheek, spreading soot over her skin. “You’re back. We were worried.”
Conner bounced up and down. “Fire. Fire. Fire!”
I fought my smile. I didn’t know why. I was just as excited as he was. But somehow, I felt excluded. Like I’d never be worthy of Estelle because she had no need for me when I had desperate need for her.
Stop being such an idiot.
Estelle made her way to me, pulling something from her pocket. The tanning skin of her arms and face clutched me around the throat.
Hell, she’s beautiful.
And smart. And brave. And strong. And so goddamn selfless.
“Here, I found something that belongs to you.”
“Oh?”
She took my hand. My skin charred beneath hers, zinging with attraction and desire. She sucked in a breath but didn’t look up, avoiding the sudden intensity between us. Uncurling my fingers, she placed half of my glasses into my palm.
There goes my ability to see clearly on this island.
I chuckled to hide my disappointment. “They didn’t survive the crash too well.”
She cringed. “I’m sorry. They’re not useful to you anymore, but they’re by far our most precious item.”
I looked over her head at the crackling, cheery blaze. “You used them to make that.”
“Yep.” A smile stretched her face. “It took a few goes but Conner helped. The sun truly is a wondrous thing.”
I had no response. Just awe. Awe and lust and amazement and...I could go on and bloody on.
Her gaze fell to my bag. “What did you guys get up to?” She glanced over her shoulder. “And why is Pippa soaking wet?”
“Uh, I have a good reason for that.” Unhooking the bag from my shoulder, I passed it to her. “It so happens your fire attempt couldn’t have come at the more perfect time.” My heart warmed as she took the weight of the heavy bag with surprise. “Otherwise, we would’ve been eating these raw, and I can’t imagine that would be nice.”
Her mouth fell open as she lifted the flap. “Oh, my God.” Without warning, tears burst from her eyes and she dropped the bag. Leaping toward me, her arms slung over my shoulders and her lips graced my stubbled cheek. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Shit.
My arms snapped around her. My balance teetered in her sudden embrace but nothing would make me let go of her. I buried my face in her hair, inhaling the faint scent of salt and sunshine and castaway. There was no hint of shampoo or perfumed products anymore.
I was glad about that.
This way, I got to smell the real Estelle, and she smelled goddamn gorgeous.
My arms banded tighter.
She gasped as my nuzzling turned to kissing. I knew I shouldn’t but she’d just thanked me as if I’d changed her life. She’d made me feel so damn good when she was the one who’d created a miracle. The fact that she didn’t resent me. That she accepted me, limp and all. That she didn’t try to pry into my unsavoury background. That she liked me for me even in our imperfect circumstances.
I could never repay her for that.
That kindness.
That generosity.
That faith.
I kissed her collarbone, breathing softly with restrained need. “You’re amazing.”
She shuddered as I licked her ear lobe. Salt exploded on my tongue, snarling my stomach for more, confusing itself on food it could eat and passion it could only torment with.
It took a lot of effort but I managed to let her go. My cock had thickened and I subtly placed my free hand in front of my board-shorts. “What do you say we cook these babies and eat?”
Her smile was pure bliss. “I say that’s the best plan I’ve ever heard.”
“I’ve got a better plan—after food, of course.”
Her eyes hooded. “Oh?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Because my plan isn’t exactly approved by you.” Mindful of being watched by Pippa and Conner, I murmured, “It includes finishing what we started. The last time we kissed, I didn’t want to stop, and you had no intention of letting me continue.”
Her breath picked up. “You want to kiss me?”
My stomach clenched. “More than anything.”
“More than clams for dinner and fresh water from your invention?”
“More than lobster tails dripping in butter.”
She moaned dramatically. “Well, I don’t know. That’s a hard choice. I do really love lobster.”
I growled, playing along. Knowing we could finally have a decent feed put all of us in a happier mood. “What if I promised you’d like me better than lobster?”
“That’s a big boast to make.”
“I never break my promises.”
“Is that a challenge?”
I leaned closer, our noses almost touching. “Do you want it to be?”
“A challenge of letting you kiss me?”
I shook my head. “No, a challenge of making you fall in love with me.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
...............................................
E S T E L L E
......
A door closes, a window opens.
A window closes, a car arrives.
A car stops, a plane flies.
A plane lands, a helicopter soars.
A helicopter crashes, life ends.
Life ends, a new world begins.
A new world ends, a person evolves.
A person evolves and finds
fear
terror
hunger
questions
desperation
struggle and strife and sadness
true happiness.
Taken from the notepad of E.E.
...
MY SKIN BURNED.
Not from too much sun or getting too close to the fire.
But from him.
I burned.
Everywhere.
Galloway’s lips still tormented my flesh, even though minutes had passed since he’d kissed my neck, my collarbone...my ear.
I was starving.
For both food and him.
I was confused.
For both help and privacy.
I was hurting.
For both rescue and desire.
Two extremes.
Both as strong as the other.
“No, a challenge of making you fall in love with me.”
Galloway’s voice repeated over and over, spindling my heart until it became a blur.
Who felt like this? Who willingly let sex fill their mind when they’d been helicopter-wrecked with no way of being free?
Me, apparently.
I’d become someone I didn’t like. Someone who let her needs control her rather than common sense.
My stomach growled, taking centre stage with rumbling cymbals.
At least, I had another need. One more acceptable in our current condition.
Hunger.
I couldn’t stop looking at the messenger bag full of delicious clams. My body demanded I fall to my knees, crack open a shell, and slurp out
the raw meat that very second.
But no matter how it pressured me, the other type of starving never let me go.
The sexual type.
A desperation that had no business here. I had to focus on staying alive. How was my body even capable of wasting energy on such silly things? Why did my heart torture itself whenever Galloway looked at me? And why, when faced with a bag full of dinner or a man who promised he’d make me fall in love with him, did I want him more than food?
He made me glow.
His eyes held rescue and freedom and safety, placing me on a pedestal I had no right to occupy.
He looks at me as if he’s unworthy.
I trembled as my thoughts careened. Who was he? What was his story? Why did he remind me of a fallen seed: closed off and unapproachable on the outside but bursting with the most beautiful ready-to-bloom oak tree on the inside?
Stop it, Estelle. This isn’t scripture for your notebook. This isn’t a song. This is real life. Pay attention and survive it!
Galloway moved away, a sad smile on his lips. Sad? Why was he sad? He’d just admitted he was up to the challenge of making me fall in love with him.
Here.
On this island.
He spoke of finding love amongst palm trees and empty beaches.
So why did the frown never leave his forehead? Why did the darkness never leave his eyes?
Stop it!
“So...how did you create this cheery blaze?” Galloway asked, slapping Conner on the back as he hobbled past. His eyes locked onto the salvaged fuselage, plans already forming on his face like blueprints.
Conner winked, exuding happiness. And he should be happy. We had water to drink, food to eat, and fire to cook with.
This was a trifecta of happiness.
“With your glasses, geek boy.” He ducked as Galloway ruffled his hair.
“What did you just call me?”
“Geek boy. And we didn’t have a lighter, so your glasses had to do.”
“So my glasses were a consolation prize.”
“What would’ve been first place?” Conner asked.
“A lighter. But I’m not a smoker.”
I drifted forward, nabbing Pippa as she beelined for the clams. Her eyes seemed too big for her face, hungry hungry hungry.