had in my hands. The result was he gave one mighty plunge in the air, summersaulted and came down on top of me. I remember thinking, “I’m in trouble here” before I blacked out.

  My wife was watching from the other end of the arena and the sight of me being squashed under a very large horse, caused her heart to go into spasms, but she got to me as soon as she could. I was just coming to when she reached me. She asked if she should get the ambulance. In my semi-conscious state I said,” Of course not”. That was before I realised I was unable to get up off the ground. Somehow she managed to get me out of the arena and into the car and off to hospital.

  We were not very familiar with the hospital layout and my wife unloaded me at the front door. I managed to stagger in through the front door where I collapsed in a heap. A nurse rushed over with a wheel chair and I was carted off to emergency. In emergency a nurse asked, “What was a man of seventy-two doing riding such a horse in the first place”. I was too busted up to care what she thought as I went into shock. Eventually an Asian doctor arrived on the scene and asked me what had happened, I told him I had an accident on a horse. His English wasn’t all that good and I thought, one damn thing after another when he looked at me and asked,” Horse, what is horse”. I knew then it wasn’t going to turn out well.

  Where am I?

  I have often thought where I am and why am I here? But after giving it some thought I usually come up with a reason.

  In my forties I embarked on a graduate diploma course which had been designed to help agricultural officers to understand and get their message across to farmers who were perhaps resistant to change. One of the requirements of the course was to be in touch with your inner self at all times. One of the exercises was that we had to spend several hours talking to patients and staff at a mental hospital. I did wonder during the course of the day if I should be in the hospital and them coming to talk to me, especially as I found it hard in my mind to separate the patients from the staff. I had to keep a close check on “where am I?”

  One of the exercises we had was to write about where we felt we were at right now. In my writing I saw myself as a small sailing boat sailing around a small island looking for a safe harbour to take refuge in as there was a wild storm coming in from the vast ocean. The island only appeared to have sandy beaches and no harbour. If the boat landed on one of the sandy beaches it would be safe but stuck fast for evermore. The little boat wasn’t sure if it could make it out to sea through the wild storm. The little boat never did find the safe harbour as there wasn’t any and the end of the story was left in limbo. My tutors seemed to know what I was on about, I’m not sure I did.

  My next experience in this similar vein was when I did a palliative care course. We had to write our own obituary, take ourselves through our own death and funeral. I guess it is somewhere a normal person would not want to be at but I found it very intriguing and made me very aware of where I was at. Not that I was ready to visit that spot right now but it gave me insight into where I would be at when the time came.

  Do I ask where I am now? I feel you never really know but I do know that wherever it is I am at peace there.

  SOLO CROSSING.

  Some solo crossings become famous as the journeys that are undertaken are at times a hazard, but solo crossings are an everyday event throughout most people’s lives.

  One crossing we all have to do is from childhood to adult. Mostly there is someone around to help you in this event, but in the end it is you who has to make the journey.

  There is even a boot camp programme to help young people through this stage. It helps them to know themselves, what life is all about and where they want to end up.

  Several crossings will have to be made throughout a life, like crossing from a carefree young adult to becoming a parent. Then on to your offspring setting off on their own leaving you to deal with a new stage of your life, like the empty nest syndrome. This could be a sad time or a joyous time depending how you look at it.

  Then there is a big crossing to deal with, and that is going from perhaps a vitally important job to being retired. Unless you have prepared yourself for this event, it could be a traumatic journey. That’s not the end of the journeys we have to make. The next crossing is from busy retiree, always on the go to one whose body is falling apart, and that is difficult to deal with. Not all people get to this stage, the lucky ones are able to live their lives to the fullest right to the end. For some people this stage is an enormous struggle, especially if they haven’t had time to prepare or haven’t bothered to prepare for it. The next solo crossing is one we all make eventually, and that is going from a living breathing person to one who has made their very last journey and no longer have to worry about crossings , solo or otherwise.

  ALLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL

  Joe had started a new job and he was both excited and apprehensive as it was, he hoped, the beginning of a new life for him. Up until now he only had jobs that were going nowhere for him. This one however had loads of potential for future advancement that would drive him on to greater efforts.

  The beginning of the job didn’t get off to a great start. He missed his bus and was late for work on his first day. Not only was he late but he found his immediate boss was a bad tempered old grouch and nothing he could do would please him. Being the new boy in the office he was given all the menial tasks that the old grouch could think up. Like making the coffee, emptying the rubbish bins and other similar tasks.

  He had visions when he started the job that he would be sent as a cub reporter with an experienced journalist. He held on to that dream but it didn’t look like it was going to happen any time soon. He knew for his dream to happen he would have to not lose hope and work hard at whatever task he was given. That way someone higher up just might notice him and give him a chance.

  The odd sports report was given to him after he had worked there for some time but the old grouch made sure his work never came too much. He had defiantly got off on the wrong foot with this man who was work weary after so many years on the job and had many younger men pass him by for promotions. Joe did his best to win the old man over but to no avail. He was almost to the point of giving up when the old grouch became very ill and had to go on leave.

  The office was in confusion at the loss of their leader as he had been such a dominant force. They were all concerned about what would happen to them now. However after some considerations by the chiefs, a new younger more progressive editor was given the position the old grouch held.

  A week after the new editor started in the office, Joe received a message that he wanted to see him in his office. Joe thought, this is it, I’m gone but no, the new editor said to Joe, after he had introduced himself, that he had received Joe’s previous work and felt it was high time Joe did a bit of real work out in the field and come back with some real stories.

  Joe thought he was in heaven and all’s well that ends well he thought to himself.

  QUE SERA SERA.

  “Que sera sera whatever will be will be the future is not ours to see que sera sera.” Perhaps not, but you don’t have to go along with it completely. We were given the ability to think ahead for the best pathway to follow. It might not always work out the way we wanted it to, but then it is wise to have a plan b and c just in case. A doctor once said to me that life was like a journey on a train. You could only get off when the train reached your destination. He was quite shocked when I said that was not right, as having been given the power of decisions for myself, I would be able to get off that miserable train whenever I knew within myself that the time had come.

  One of the exciting thing about life is we can’t really bank on what’s ahead and it could be a very exciting beautiful life. If it turns out to be a miserable painful life then we have to look at our options, either accept what is on offer or work like hell to change it.

  Having gone into deep depression after major heart surgery that hadn’t gone so well, I must admit that I was wallowing in self-pity and I did
n’t feel so good. A friend gave me a book to read. It was about an Irish boy growing up in a very poor family and he was spastic. The only movement he had in his entire body was he could move his left foot. That was the name of his book, My Left Foot. He had a lot of brothers who carted him around town in a handmade billycart. They all loved him, but thought he didn’t have the ability to learn anything as he could not speak. Until one day as a teenager he lay on the stone floor of the kitchen. To the families amazement he got hold of a piece of chalk with his left foot and scrawled on the floor, mum I love you. The almost vegetable went on to be an artist and an author. Having gone to Lauds for a cure, he didn’t find one but he did see that there were a lot of others worse off than himself. This gave him the spur on to make the best of what he had.

  Having read his book I felt really ashamed of my self-pity. How dare I feel miserable about my lot? Straight away I set myself up with a walking programme and after twelve months I had walked myself back to health. Since then I have never let “What will be”, rule my thoughts. It is more where do we go from here. Be the master of your future as much as life allows you to be.

  TOUR DE FRANCE 1903.

  What a brilliant idea to stage such a race, even if
Les Shipp's Novels