he is saying; 'I'll go and get the milk and paper and bring you up a cup
   of tea.' Inset is a picture of the front doorstep; on it are four
   newspapers and four bottles of milk. This is obscene, if you like, but it
   is not immoral. Its implication--and this is just the implication the
   ESQUIRE or the NEW YORKER would avoid at all costs--is that marriage is
   something profoundly exciting and important, the biggest event in the
   average human being's life.
   So also with jokes about nagging wives and tyrannous mothers-in-law. They
   do at least imply a stable society in which marriage is indissoluble and
   family loyalty taken for granted. And bound up with this is something I
   noted earlier, the fact there are no pictures, or hardly any, of
   good-looking people beyond their first youth. There is the 'spooning'
   couple and the middle-aged, cat-and-dog couple, but nothing in between.
   The liaison, the illicit but more or less decorous love-affair which used
   to be the stock joke of French comic papers, is not a post card subject.
   And this reflects, on a comic level, the working-class outlook which
   takes it as a matter of course that youth and adventure--almost, indeed,
   individual life--end with marriage. One of the few authentic
   class-differences, as opposed to class-distinctions, still existing in
   England is that the working classes age very much earlier. They do not
   live less long, provided that they survive their childhood, nor do they
   lose their physical activity earlier, but they do lose very early their
   youthful appearance. This fact is observable everywhere, but can be most
   easily verified by watching one of the higher age groups registering for
   military service; the middle--and upper-class members look, on average,
   ten years younger than the others. It is usual to attribute this to the
   harder lives that the working classes have to live, but it is doubtful
   whether any such difference now exists as would account for it. More
   probably the truth is that the working classes reach middle age earlier
   because they accept it earlier. For to look young after, say, thirty is
   largely a matter of wanting to do so. This generalization is less true of
   the better-paid workers, especially those who live in council houses and
   labour-saving flats, but it is true enough even of them to point to a
   difference of outlook. And in this, as usual, they are more traditional,
   more in accord with the Christian past than the well-to-do women who try
   to stay young at forty by means of physical-jerks, cosmetics and
   avoidance of child-bearing. The impulse to cling to youth at all costs,
   to attempt to preserve your sexual attraction, to see even in middle age
   a future for yourself and not merely for your children, is a thing of
   recent growth and has only precariously established itself. It will
   probably disappear again when our standard of living drops and our
   birth-rate rises. 'Youth's a stuff will not endure' expresses the normal,
   traditional attitude. It is this ancient wisdom that McGill and his
   colleagues are reflecting, no doubt unconsciously, when they allow for no
   transition stage between the honeymoon couple and those glamourless
   figures, Mum and Dad.
   I have said that at least half of McGill's post cards are sex jokes, and
   a proportion, perhaps ten per cent, are far more obscene than anything
   else that is now printed in England. Newsagents are occasionally
   prosecuted for selling them, and there would be many more prosecutions if
   the broadest jokes were not invariably protected by double meanings. A
   single example will be enough to show how this is done. In one post card,
   captioned 'They didn't believe her', a young woman is demonstrating, with
   her hands held apart, something about two feet long to a couple of
   open-mouthed acquaintances. Behind her on the wall is a stuffed fish in a
   glass case, and beside that is a photograph of a nearly naked athlete.
   Obviously it is not the fish that she is referring to, but this could
   never be proved. Now, it is doubtful whether there is any paper in
   England that would print a joke of this kind, and certainly there is no
   paper that does so habitually. There is an immense amount of pornography
   of a mild sort, countless illustrated papers cashing in on women's legs,
   but there is no popular literature specializing in the 'vulgar', farcical
   aspect of sex. On the other hand, jokes exactly like McGill's are the
   ordinary small change of the revue and music-hall stage, and are also to
   be heard on the radio, at moments when the censor happens to be nodding.
   In England the gap between what can be said and what can be printed is
   rather exceptionally wide. Remarks and gestures which hardly anyone
   objects to on the stage would raise a public outcry if any attempt were
   made to reproduce them on paper. (Compare Max Miller's stage patter with
   his weekly column in the SUNDAY DISPATCH) The comic post cards are the
   only existing exception to this rule, the only medium in which really
   'low' humour is considered to be printable. Only in post cards and on the
   variety stage can the stuck-out behind, dog and lamp-post, baby's nappy
   type of joke be freely exploited. Remembering that, one sees what
   function these post cards, in their humble way, are performing.
   What they are doing is to give expression to the Sancho Panza view of
   life, the attitude to life that Miss Rebecca West once summed up as
   'extracting as much fun as possible from smacking behinds in basement
   kitchens'. The Don Quixote-Sancho Panza combination, which of course is
   simply the ancient dualism of body and soul in fiction form, recurs more
   frequently in the literature of the last four hundred years than can be
   explained by mere imitation. It comes up again and again, in endless
   variations, Bouvard and P?cuchet, Jeeves and Wooster, Bloom and Dedalus,
   Holmes and Watson (the Holmes-Watson variant is an exceptionally subtle
   one, because the usual physical characteristics of two partners have been
   transposed). Evidently it corresponds to something enduring in our
   civilization, not in the sense that either character is to be found in a
   'pure' state in real life, but in the sense that the two principles,
   noble folly and base wisdom, exist side by side in nearly every human
   being. If you look into your own mind, which are you, Don Quixote or
   Sancho Panza? Almost certainly you are both. There is one part of you
   that wishes to be a hero or a saint, but another part of you is a little
   fat man who sees very clearly the advantages of staying alive with a
   whole skin. He is your unofficial self, the voice of the belly protesting
   against the soul. His tastes lie towards safety, soft beds, no work, pots
   of beer and women with 'voluptuous' figures. He it is who punctures your
   fine attitudes and urges you to look after Number One, to be unfaithful
   to your wife, to bilk your debts, and so on and so forth. Whether you
   allow yourself to be influenced by him is a different question. But it is
   simply a lie to say that he is not part of you, just as it is a lie to
   say that Don Quixote is not part of you either, though most of what is
 &nb 
					     					 			sp; said and written consists of one lie or the other, usually the first.
   But though in varying forms he is one of the stock figures of literature,
   in real life, especially in the way society is ordered, his point of view
   never gets a fair hearing. There is a constant world-wide conspiracy to
   pretend that he is not there, or at least that he doesn't matter. Codes
   of law and morals, or religious systems, never have much room in them for
   a humorous view of life. Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is
   ultimately a custard pie, and the reason why so large a proportion of
   jokes centre round obscenity is simply that all societies, as the price
   of survival, have to insist on a fairly high standard of sexual morality.
   A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack upon morality, but it is
   a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary wish that things were otherwise.
   So also with all other jokes, which always centre round cowardice,
   laziness, dishonesty or some other quality which society cannot afford to
   encourage. Society has always to demand a little more from human beings
   than it will get in practice. It has to demand faultless discipline and
   self-sacrifice, it must expect its subjects to work hard, pay their
   taxes, and be faithful to their wives, it must assume that men think it
   glorious to die on the battlefield and women want wear themselves out
   with child-bearing. The whole of what one may call official literature is
   founded on such assumptions. I never read the proclamations of generals
   before battle, the speeches of F?hrers and prime ministers, the
   solidarity songs of public schools and left-wing political parties,
   national anthems, Temperance tracts, papal encyclicals and sermons
   against gambling and contraception, without seeming to hear in the
   background a chorus of raspberries from all the millions of common men to
   whom these high sentiments make no appeal. Nevertheless the high
   sentiments always win in the end, leaders who offer blood, toil, tears
   and sweat always get more out of their followers than those who offer
   safety and a good time. When it comes to the pinch, human beings are
   heroic. Women face childbed and the scrubbing brush, revolutionaries keep
   their mouths shut in the torture chamber, battleships go down with their
   guns still firing when their decks are awash. It is only that the other
   element in man, the lazy, cowardly, debt-bilking adulterer who is inside
   all of us, can never be suppressed altogether and needs a hearing
   occasionally.
   The comic post cards are one expression of his point of view, a humble
   one, less important than the music halls, but still worthy of attention.
   In a society which is still basically Christian they naturally
   concentrate on sex jokes; in a totalitarian society, if they had any
   freedom of expression at all, they would probably concentrate on laziness
   or cowardice, but at any rate on the unheroic in one form or another. It
   will not do to condemn them on the ground that they are vulgar and ugly.
   That is exactly what they are meant to be. Their whole meaning and virtue
   is in their unredeemed low-ness, not only in the sense of obscenity, but
   lowness of outlook in every direction whatever. The slightest hint of
   'higher' influences would ruin them utterly. They stand for the
   worm's-eye view of life, for the music-hall world where marriage is a
   dirty joke or a comic disaster, where the rent is always behind and the
   clothes are always up the spout, where the lawyer is always a crook and
   the Scotsman always a miser, where the newly-weds make fools of
   themselves on the hideous beds of seaside lodging-houses and the drunken,
   red-nosed husbands roll home at four in the morning to meet the
   linen-nightgowned wives who wait for them behind the front door, poker in
   hand. Their existence, the fact that people want them, is symptomatically
   important. Like the music halls, they are a sort of saturnalia, a
   harmless rebellion against virtue. They express only one tendency in the
   human mind, but a tendency which is always there and will find its own
   outlet, like water. On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not
   too good, and not quite all the time. For:
   there is a just man that perished in his righteousness, and there is a
   wicked man that prolongeth his life in his wickedness. Be not righteous
   overmuch; neither make thyself over wise; why shouldst thou destroy
   thyself? Be not overmuch wicked, neither be thou foolish: why shouldst
   thou die before thy time?
   In the past the mood of the comic post card could enter into the central
   stream of literature, and jokes barely different from McGill's could
   casually be uttered between the murders in Shakespeare's tragedies. That
   is no longer possible, and a whole category of humour, integral to our
   literature till 1800 or thereabouts, has dwindled down to these ill-drawn
   post cards, leading a barely legal existence in cheap stationers'
   windows. The corner of the human heart that they speak for might easily
   manifest itself in worse forms, and I for one should be sorry to see them
   vanish.
   THE LION AND THE UNICORN: SOCIALISM AND THE ENGLISH GENIUS (1941)
   Part I
   England Your England
   i.
   As I write, highly civilized human beings are flying overhead, trying to
   kill me.
   They do not feel any enmity against me as an individual, nor I against
   them. They are 'only doing their duty', as the saying goes. Most of them,
   I have no doubt, are kind-hearted law-abiding men who would never dream
   of committing murder in private life. On the other hand, if one of them
   succeeds in blowing me to pieces with a well-placed bomb, he will never
   sleep any the worse for it. He is serving his country, which has the
   power to absolve him from evil.
   One cannot see the modern world as it is unless one recognizes the
   overwhelming strength of patriotism, national loyalty. In certain
   circumstances it can break down, at certain levels of civilization it
   does not exist, but as a POSITIVE force there is nothing to set beside
   it. Christianity and international Socialism are as weak as straw in
   comparison with it. Hitler and Mussolini rose to power in their own
   countries very largely because they could grasp this fact and their
   opponents could not.
   Also, one must admit that the divisions between nation and nation are
   founded on real differences of outlook. Till recently it was thought
   proper to pretend that all human beings are very much alike, but in fact
   anyone able to use his eyes knows that the average of human behaviour
   differs enormously from country to country. Things that could happen in
   one country could not happen in another. Hitler's June purge, for
   instance, could not have happened in England. And, as western peoples go,
   the English are very highly differentiated. There is a sort of
   back-handed admission of this in the dislike which nearly all foreigners
   feel for our national way of life. Few Europeans can endure living in
   England, and even Americans often feel more at home in Europe.
   When you come back to Eng 
					     					 			land from any foreign country, you have
   immediately the sensation of breathing a different air. Even in the first
   few minutes dozens of small things conspire to give you this feeling. The
   beer is bitterer, the coins are heavier, the grass is greener, the
   advertisements are more blatant. The crowds in the big towns, with their
   mild knobby faces, their bad teeth and gentle manners, are different from
   a European crowd. Then the vastness of England swallows you up, and you
   lose for a while your feeling that the whole nation has a single
   identifiable character. Are there really such things as nations? Are we
   not forty-six million individuals, all different? And the diversity of
   it, the chaos! The clatter of clogs in the Lancashire mill towns, the
   to-and-fro of the lorries on the Great North Road, the queues outside the
   Labour Exchanges, the rattle of pin-tables in the Soho pubs, the old
   maids hiking to Holy Communion through the mists of the autumn
   morning--all these are not only fragments, but CHARACTERISTIC fragments,
   of the English scene. How can one make a pattern out of this muddle?
   But talk to foreigners, read foreign books or newspapers, and you are
   brought back to the same thought. Yes, there is something distinctive and
   recognizable in English civilization. It is a culture as individual as
   that of Spain. It is somehow bound up with solid breakfasts and gloomy
   Sundays, smoky towns and winding roads, green fields and red
   pillar-boxes. It has a flavour of its own. Moreover it is continuous, it
   stretches into the future and the past, there is something in it that
   persists, as in a living creature. What can the England of 1940 have in
   common with the England of 1840? But then, what have you in common with
   the child of five whose photograph your mother keeps on the mantelpiece?
   Nothing, except that you happen to be the same person.
   And above all, it is YOUR civilization, it is you. However much you hate
   it or laugh at it, you will never be happy away from it for any length of
   time. The suet puddings and the red pillar-boxes have entered into your
   soul. Good or evil, it is yours, you belong to it, and this side the
   grave you will never get away from the marks that it has given you.
   Meanwhile England, together with the rest of the world, is changing. And
   like everything else it can change only in certain directions, which up
   to a point can be foreseen. That is not to say that the future is fixed,
   merely that certain alternatives are possible and others not. A seed may
   grow or not grow, but at any rate a turnip seed never grows into a
   parsnip. It is therefore of the deepest importance to try and determine
   what England IS, before guessing what part England CAN PLAY in the huge
   events that are happening.
   ii.
   National characteristics are not easy to pin down, and when pinned down
   they often turn out to be trivialities or seem to have no connexion with
   one another. Spaniards are cruel to animals, Italians can do nothing
   without making a deafening noise, the Chinese are addicted to gambling.
   Obviously such things don't matter in themselves. Nevertheless, nothing
   is causeless, and even the fact that Englishmen have bad teeth can tell
   something about the realities of English life.
   Here are a couple of generalizations about England that would be accepted
   by almost all observers. One is that the English are not gifted
   artistically. They are not as musical as the Germans or Italians,
   painting and sculpture have never flourished in England as they have in
   France. Another is that, as Europeans go, the English are not
   intellectual. They have a horror of abstract thought, they feel no need
   for any philosophy or systematic 'world-view'. Nor is this because they
   are 'practical', as they are so fond of claiming for themselves. One has
   only to look at their methods of town planning and water supply, their
   obstinate clinging to everything that is out of date and a nuisance, a