His eyes narrowed. “Perhaps Quinn wouldn’t have had a problem striking you, but I refuse to harm Sarah.”
“Don’t drag me into this.” Quinn sent another wary glance in my direction.
Janie surveyed the room with a sweeping glance and then pulled a wooden stake out of her shoulder bag.
“Don’t even think about it.” Thierry’s brow lowered.
“Hell, maybe this is for you. After all, you’re looking a little out of control yourself, stud.”
Quinn put a hand on his fiancée’s tense arm. “That won’t be necessary, Janie.”
“She’s a nightwalker,” she reminded him with a nod in my direction. “I’ve read the stories in the history books.”
“Sarah’s got a curse,” Quinn explained. “You already know this.”
“Doesn’t make her any less dangerous.”
“She’s different.”
“Doesn’t look all that different to me.” She studied me for a moment. I refrained from hissing at her, since I didn’t think that would go over well. After another moment, she grudgingly put her stake away.
I could still taste Thierry’s blood. I wanted more, but there was that part of the real me still fighting like hell to stay in control.
“I need to speak with you,” Quinn said. For a moment I thought he was talking to me, but his attention was on Thierry.
Thierry’s eyes had returned to their normal silver shade. After a searching glance at me that also held a heavy dose of guilt, but saying nothing further, he turned and left the room with Quinn.
Janie stood there, blocking the door, which at the moment was my only escape, with her arms crossed in front of her.
You can take the mercenary out of the girl but you can’t take the girl out of the mercenary.
Or something like that.
“So—” She gave me a weary grin. “Are we having fun yet, or what?”
“I’m going to have to go with what’s behind door number two.”
“Feeling any better?”
“Microscopically.”
“I thought for a moment we’d walked into an explicit love scene. But then I noticed you both still had your clothes on and your teeth were stuck in his neck. Kind of a tip-off to trouble.”
“You’re very observant.”
She exhaled. “You’re way different than the last time I saw you. A little less with the happy.”
“It’s been a busy month.” I blinked slowly. “For both of us. I still can’t believe that you and Quinn are together.”
“Believe it.”
“Care to share how you two hooked up?”
“I was assigned by my demonic boss to get a magical artifact Quinn had a map to in Arizona. Then I was supposed to kill him. We ended up working together to defeat the bad guy. Then I almost got killed and he had to sire me so I’m now a card-carrying member of the fang gang. You want more details, you can buy my memoirs.”
Janie was always more of a smart-ass than even I was. Well, marginally. But I knew down deep—very deep—she had a good heart. She had saved my life before. That counted for something with me. She’d had a hard life and had fallen in with some questionable people, but in the end she made good choices. Including Quinn.
My control was now back up to at least 60 percent. “Quinn’s a great guy.”
She made a sound. Not a happy one.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m not going to try to steal him away from you. He already told me what you’d do to me, which I believe included death and dismemberment.”
“I’m not the jealous type,” she said firmly.
“Good to know.”
She paced over to my messy bed and then back toward the closed door. “But you don’t know what we’ve been through together. I know it’s fast, but I love him so much. And I know he had a thing for you and the only reason you’re not together is that you chose Thierry.”
Great. Vampires with issues. There are so many of us I think I should start a chat group.
“You’re right.” I shrugged. “Maybe I should have chosen Quinn. He is pretty cute.”
She gave me a dirty look.
I couldn’t help but smile, despite everything. “I’m kidding. Seriously, Janie, the guy is head over heels for you. Besides, Quinn was never really in love with me, and all I felt for him was a deep friendship.”
“Really?”
“Then again, he is an amazing kisser.”
“I think I’m going to kill you.”
Even though she said it half-joking it worked to sober me up a little. “About that…”
“Killing you?”
“Yeah.”
“Go ahead. I’m listening.” Her lips turned up at the sides until she realized I wasn’t kidding. “What is it?”
“My curse isn’t getting any better—as you just witnessed. In fact, it’s heading straight downhill into the Village of the Damned.”
“You don’t think you can learn to control it?”
I shook my head. “Not forever. I have a small grasp on it right now because I’m… well, let’s just say I’m well-fed at the moment. But as soon as my stomach starts to grumble, I’d suggest that everyone should clear out.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“All I can do is try to protect the people I care about. Hell, I need to protect the people I don’t care about, too.” I took a long shuddery breath that I didn’t really need anymore. “I’ve asked Thierry to stake me if we can’t find a solution to this. If I turn totally bad, then there’s no other choice.”
Her eyebrows went up at that. “You asked him to kill you? And he agreed?”
I nodded and tried to hold back the sudden surge of panic. It did sound horrible, but there wasn’t any other way. If he didn’t stake me personally, the Ring would send their people in to do it, and I’m fairly certain their method wouldn’t include attacking me with fluffy bunnies.
“I have another idea about what you should do,” Janie said.
“What?”
“Stop being a damn chump. Stop accepting all of this bullshit that’s being thrown at you and start fighting for your life.”
I frowned at her. “Is this tough love?”
She shrugged. “It’s my opinion. Take it or leave it. I just think any kind of action is better than sitting around and waiting. In fact, Quinn and I are going to try to find where your buddy Gideon has Amy hidden away right now.”
I felt the reminder of my friend’s impending danger like a third slap in the face. “How did you even know about that?”
“George filled us in when we got here. Since he knows where Gideon’s hotel was, we’re going to start there. It’s better than nothing.” She turned away from me toward the bedroom door.
“Listen, Janie…”
“Yeah?”
“If things take a serious nosedive and Thierry can’t… well, you know… then I want you to…”
The silence weighed heavy for a moment between us.
She nodded firmly. “You won’t even feel it. It’ll be like getting your ears pierced.”
“We are talking about the same thing, aren’t we?”
“My staking you when you turn completely black-eyed, batshit, crazy evil?”
“Yeah, but I remember getting my ears pierced hurt like hell.”
She shrugged. “What can I say? I’m not great with the pleasant analogies. I’ll make it quick, though. Don’t worry.”
Don’t worry? Sure. Easy for her to say. “Well, good. Thanks.”
“Janie,” Quinn said from the doorway. “We’re going to take off and start looking. You’re coming, right?”
“Yeah,” she replied. “Be right there.”
Quinn looked directly at me, and I saw that the disgust and uncertainty in his gaze had been replaced with concern. “You okay?”
“I’m doing my best.”
He nodded. “You need anything, just ask.”
Well, I just asked your fiancée to stake me,
I thought. How’s that for a favor?
“I’ll do that,” I said instead.
Janie reached forward without hesitation and touched my shoulder. “You are going to make it, you know.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. You want to know why?”
“Why?”
“Because you’re invited to our wedding.” She smiled. “And FYI, cash is preferred since we’re not registered anywhere. Between running for our lives and getting used to being a vampire, I simply didn’t have the time.”
“Totally understandable.”
She took Quinn’s hand. With a last look at me he turned and they left my room. Had I known I’d be having a parade come through there today I would have spent a little time cleaning up. Luckily I was too distracted to be embarrassed by my messy tendencies, which I just noticed included a pink bra hanging precariously from my closet doorknob.
I stood there for a few minutes thinking about what Janie had said.
“Don’t be a chump” was the general theme.
I emerged from the bedroom in time to see George, Janie, and Quinn head out the front door and off on their wild goose chase to try to find Amy.
How odd that they’d leave Thierry and me alone after what had happened earlier. Did they trust me again so easily?
But no, when I turned around I saw the reason for their mass exodus. Barry sat on the couch. He stared at me with a dark expression of grief on his face. There was no doubt in my mind that he already knew what had happened to Amy.
“She’s going to be okay,” I told him.
“This is all your fault.” There was a catch in his words that made me feel worse than I already did. He sounded more upset than angry.
Also, he was right. This was my fault.
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
Barry frowned. Maybe he didn’t expect me to come right out and admit it.
“If Amy dies—” he began.
“If Amy dies then you have permission to stake me since I won’t want to live anymore,” I finished.
So that was three people I’d given permission to do the deed. I really should start an Excel spreadsheet to keep track.
“That won’t be necessary,” Thierry said. He stood by the front door, his arms crossed over his chest. He wasn’t making eye contact with me at the moment, in fact, he seemed to be avoiding looking at me at all after our little make-out session from hell. “I have faith that Quinn, Janie, and George will be able to locate your wife.”
“But what if they don’t?” Barry argued. “We have no idea where she is. And if that bastard harms a hair on her head…”
“Can’t you sense where she is?” I asked. “If you concentrate really hard? I mean, you’re her sire, right?”
He shook his head. “That is a very rare bond that Amy and I are not lucky enough to share. I love her so much, but I can’t find her. I… I can’t help her.”
Even though the two of us didn’t get along very well, it made my unbeating heart ache to see him in such distress over the woman he loved.
“It’ll be okay,” I said simply. “I’m leaving now to find Gideon, too. When I sire him he’ll let Amy go. It’s simple.”
“No, there’s nothing simple about it.” Thierry grabbed my hand before I made a move toward the front door. “It’s too dangerous.”
“It’s too dangerous if I stay.” I shrugged away from his grip.
“And what will you do after you follow his wishes and make him possibly one of the most powerful vampires who ever existed? Do you think that he’ll give a damn who lives or dies? Gideon Chase is a selfish, self-serving hunter who is thinking of nothing more than his own survival.”
“He’s in pain. The hellfire is burning him alive.”
He glared at me. “After everything that’s happened, why the hell are you still making excuses for him?”
I felt a rise of anger. “You’re overreacting.”
“Am I?” he replied dryly.
“Yes, you are.”
“But, master,” Barry said. “We can’t simply sit here and wait helplessly.”
Thierry crossed the room to stand in front of Barry. “It’s too risky to send Sarah out there alone in her current condition.”
“She’s willing to go.”
“Sarah is obviously not herself right now and can’t be trusted out on her own.” He eyed me, and I knew he didn’t mean to sound cruel, he was telling the truth. After what had happened in the bedroom I couldn’t very well blame him.
Barry eyed me and for one of the few times since I’d first met him—it felt like an eternity ago but it was only three months—there was none of the usual distaste in his expression, only fear and worry. “What do you think, Sarah? You’re Amy’s best friend. Will she be all right?”
I shook my head. “I… I don’t know.”
I felt the nightwalker at the edges of my consciousness. She was chomping away at my control, little by little, like a bloodthirsty Ms. Pacman, but I held tight—the latest infusion of master vampire blood had helped again.
“You don’t know?” Barry’s face reddened. “That’s not good enough.”
There was stony silence for a full minute.
“I’m going to prepare some of that coffee George made,” Barry snarled. Without waiting for a response, he stood up from the couch and went into the kitchen. I could hear the cupboards and utensils slam and clank.
I took a step toward Thierry. “I seriously need to go.”
“You can’t.” He held up a hand to stop me. “And please, Sarah. Don’t come any closer to me. I’m still feeling a bit shaky from earlier.”
I froze in place. “I took too much blood.”
“It’s not the blood, it’s—” He raised his silver eyes up to lock with mine, and I felt the full weight of his gaze on me. “Your nightwalker brings out my own darkness. It disturbs me.”
I cringed. “I know. It’s disgusting.”
He shook his head. “No. I find it disturbing because… because I like how it feels. When the darkness takes me, everything seems much too simple. The worries of the world fade away and there is only the darkness and the pleasure it brings.”
I bit my bottom lip. “That sounds kind of sexy, actually. But you’re saying that’s a bad thing, right?”
He made a small sound, almost a laugh. “I made the decision a long time ago to avoid all that brings about that darkness in me.” His brows drew together. “No vampire I’ve ever met has had the same problems with control I’ve had. None that weren’t nightwalkers to begin with.”
“There are lots of vampires who aren’t all that picky about where they get their blood from.”
“Yes, but their desire for blood is not so… addictive as mine.”
I turned over what he was saying in my head. “So you think you might have a little nightwalker in you trying to get out?”
“Perhaps.” I could tell by the strained expression on his handsome face that it had taken a lot for him to admit this to me.
I shook my head. “Nope, not possible.”
His frown deepened and he looked at me. “As one who’s witnessed my darker side more than many, I’m surprised you’d say that.”
“Nightwalkers don’t feel guilt when they’ve had their midnight binge. You? You’re all about the guilt. Nearly seven hundred years is a long time to hate yourself. I bet you were a self-loathing human even before you met Veronique, tending your sheep or whatever people did back then for a living.”
He quirked a dark eyebrow. “I wasn’t a shepherd.”
“Then what were you?”
“I was an innkeeper. I operated several inns and taverns before the plague came.” His eyes got a faraway look for a moment. “Strange. I haven’t thought of that in a very long time.”
“So, you were a medieval Donald Trump?”
“I suppose you could say that.”
That made me smile. “Seems fitting, actually.” I reached out to touch him an
d he didn’t pull away from me. “I know you had a hard time in the past. Being a vampire isn’t the easiest gig in the world, is it?”
“You’ve handled yourself remarkably well.”
“Are you kidding me? Do I need to pull a transcript of my past misadventures? I’ve fought tooth and nail against it since the night I was sired. I didn’t want to be a vampire. I hated it. And just when I was finally getting used to it, it went and got worse on me.”
“Sarah—”
I shook my head. “I can feel her right now, Thierry—the nightwalker who wants my life and my body. I can feel her clawing her way to the surface. I don’t know how much longer I have but I want you to know one very important thing.”
His expression was tense. “What is it?”
“That I don’t want to be normal anymore. All I want is to be happy. With you.”
He pulled me closer to him. “I swear, Sarah, I will do whatever I can to fix this.”
“I can fix it, but I have to go now.”
“No. You’ll stay here.” His grip on me tightened. “I will find Gideon and I’ll do whatever it takes to stop him.”
My stomach sank. “You mean you’ll kill him.”
“If that’s what it takes.” His eyes narrowed at me. “Would his death affect you? Would you mourn Gideon Chase after all he’s done?”
I guess I didn’t answer quite as quickly as he wanted me to.
“I see,” he said, and his open expression closed off to me behind that annoying, cold brick wall he had.
“You don’t see anything.”
“Gideon’s vision perhaps is much clearer. He seems to cherish your dark side while I restrict it. I suppose you’ll have to decide for yourself which of us is correct.”
A flash of anger pulled my darkness forward and I actually felt my eyes turn black as my vision narrowed and blurred at the edges. “Dammit, Thierry—”
Barry emerged from the kitchen with a tray of coffee and there was even one on there for me. “Here, master. Drink this.”
Thierry absently took the mug of black coffee. “It’s the way it must be, Sarah. Even if you disagree with me vehemently, it’s much too dangerous for you to go to him. Especially being so close to the edge of your control.”