I bought her a present. A few days before Christmas Eve I wrapped it in silver paper, tied it with green ribbon (it was an ornamental clown of the best Ukrainian ceramic, bought at Magasin Wagner) and set off for Slobodka. In my dark suit, white shirt, bow-tie, dark-brown bowler and matching English top-coat, with the present under my arm, I must have looked the picture of a young man on his way to ‘pop-the-question’ (although I was not yet fifteen). I bought an expensive imported flower (already becoming scarce) to complete the effect. I also carried a white ivory stick with a carved head. This had been a present from Shura about a week before.
I arrived at the broken-down house in the alley where Katya lived. The front, used by the ironmonger, had not yet opened, but I knew a trick of jerking the door open, even when it was locked. I entered the dark, cluttered interior of the shop and tip-toed through to the narrow stair leading to Katya’s room. She would have got rid of any customer by this time, but I did not want to risk embarrassing her. Determined to go away if a man was with her, I crept up the stairs and opened the door a fraction. I saw a form huddled in the bed with its arms around my Katya. I suppressed my jealousy. Then I realised I recognised the shoulder. It was young. A boy’s shoulder. It was, of course, Shura’s shoulder.
I did not behave then as I would behave now. I lost all control. I screamed and flung the door back. I realised why Shura had shown me such kindness, why Katya’s time with me had become so limited, why she and Shura never spoke when they met at Esau’s. I had been betrayed.
I recall only the emotions; the way in which the blood became a drum in my brain, in which my hot hand gripped the cool ivory of the stick as I advanced on Shura. He scrambled up with a yell, laughed at me, became terrified, tried to protect Katya, threw a pillow at me. I raised the stick. His naked body flew at me and caught me below the waist. I struck his back, his buttocks. I fell over. The fight had no proper end. I lost the stick. We became exhausted. I remember Katya weeping. ‘Can’t you see I loved you.’
Shura sat panting against a wall down which, as if to witness the drama, cockroaches climbed. ‘She loved us both, Xima. I love you both.’
I said the usual things about treachery, trickery, double-dealing. I have been betrayed too many times since then to recall anything specific. Katya wanted Shura’s maturity and my innocence. Fundamentally she was a whore. She could not resist any of us. There were probably other lovers, as opposed to customers. I think she was one of those kindly, slightly frightened girls who gives in to the slightest pressure then spends her life trying to reconcile everyone, far too afraid to tell the truth which would extricate her from such situations. It is a characteristic of our good-natured Slav girls, particularly in Ukraine. There are even Jewish girls who are like it. They are incapable of scheming, but weave the most impossible webs of deception. These girls are so frequently treated as femmes fatales when, in fact, they are the very opposite. None of this occurred to my fourteen-year-old self. Drained by a drug which in later years would prove beneficial, exhausted by an unequal physical encounter, weeping with misery at the terrible thing done to me by my little Katya, I lay in a corner and picked cobwebs and dust off my fine suit, while my cousin Shura, trying to mollify me, got dressed, and Katya wailed, wishing she had never met either of us.
Shura suggested we go for a drink. I accepted. We went to Esau’s where Shura cracked and chewed sun-flower seeds and talked about ‘the world’ and how he had been going to tell me but that Katya had been afraid it would hurt my feelings. Slowly the onus was transferred onto the woman in the case. Two or three glasses of vodka made it seem we had both been badly deceived by a little bitch. Another two or three glasses and I was close to weeping. I told Shura I had nearly killed him. Shura said it was appalling how trollops like Katya could make two friends fight so savagely. We drank to the doom of all women. We drank to eternal comradeship. When the question arose as to which of us was to stop seeing Katya we were both insistent we had ‘no rights’; then insistent that each had ‘greater rights’ because of ‘loving her more’. And so it went on, with recriminations creeping back and Shura rising and turning his shoulder to me, and me deciding to go to see Katya to demand from her a guarantee she would dismiss Shura for good. We left Esau’s. We both had the same destination. We stopped at the corner of her alley. A woman went past, leading two cows (still kept for fresh milk in cities in those days) and we were separated by them. Both of us dashed past the beasts and tried to reach the ironmonger’s first. This ludicrous and undignified scene resulted in the pair of us reeling drunkenly into stacks of pots and pans which we knocked onto the cobbles. Out of the shop came the middle-aged Jewish proprietor, screaming and waving his arms and cursing the lust of men and the venality of women. Why had God decided that he, a respectable shop-keeper, must support his impeccably virtuous family by letting rooms to women of easy virtue (I knew that an ‘extra’ on his exorbitant rent was an afternoon every week with Katya’s mother)? We demanded he step aside and let us through.
‘To have my shop destroyed by drunks!’ He took a great axe from his display. ‘To bring the police down on my poor head! Wonderful! Cossacks in the Moldovanka! Let’s have a new pogrom, eh! Stand back, both of you, or I’ll give the police fair cause to visit me. I’ll split your heads and hang myself rather than let you in.’
Katya’s orange-haired sluttish mother appeared behind him. She was pulling on a grubby Chinese robe. ‘Shura? Maxim? What’s the matter with you? Where’s Katya?’
‘We have come to see her,’ I said. ‘She has to choose between us.’
‘But she left half-an-hour ago.’
‘Where did she go?’ asked Shura.
‘To Esau’s, I thought.’
‘Was she laughing?’ I asked significantly.
‘Not that I noticed. What do you want with her? You boys shouldn’t quarrel over a girl. She likes you both.’
‘She’s a deceiver,’ I said. ‘A liar.’
‘She’s a bit weak, that’s all,’ said Shura. ‘I told her...’
‘I won’t have such discussions in my street, outside my shop.’ The Jew advanced with the axe. We retreated.
Katya’s mother shook her head. ‘Calm down. Go for a walk together. Go for a swim.’ She seemed unaware that it was winter.
‘She was not frank with me,’ I said.
‘Frank? What is frank?’ asked the shop-keeper. He gestured with his huge axe. ‘Jews are not the bogatyrs of Kiev. They have no room for such podvig luxuries.’
‘They have a great penchant for hypocrisy instead,’ I retorted.
He smiled, ‘If we are here to indulge in some rabbinical discussion, some orgy of self-criticism, let us settle down around the book, my young Litvak.’
Did he think I was a Jew? I was shocked. I looked at his dirty skin, his stringy beard, his hooked nose and thick lips and realised what a terrible mistake I had made. To believe that Jews could be my friends, that I could exist in their company without some of their traits rubbing off on me! I backed away. I began to run through the alleys of the ghetto, knocking aside old men and children, treading on cats and dogs, breaking down washing lines, kicking cans of milk, until I was back at Uncle Semya’s house, bedraggled, my coat flapping, my hat missing, my ivory cane lost in the struggle at Katya’s. Straight up the steps and into the front door. Up the stairs and into my room. I lay on my bed weeping and swearing never again to have anything to do with Jews, with the Moldovanka, with my cousin Shura, with coarse, corrupt, vulgar Odessa.
When Wanda came in, she found me recovered from the worst of my rage but still weeping, still dressed in what was left of my finery. ‘What happened, Maxim? An accident?’
I looked up at her warm, fat body, her plain, concerned face. I decided that Wanda was the girl I needed. Wanda would never make herself available to more than one man. She would be grateful that she had a man at all.
‘Only in love,’ I replied heavily. ‘A girl turned out to be unfaithful.’
 
; ‘That’s terrible. Dear Maxim!’ Feminine sympathy seeped from her pores like sweat. ‘Who on earth could do such a thing to you? What a bitch she must be.’
I remember a pang or two at this description, but when I considered the situation I decided Katya had been more cynical than I had guessed. I made some attempt to defend her, remembering Shura’s words. ‘She’s just weak ...’
‘Don’t you believe it, Maxim dear. Not a word. Weakness is a wall women hide behind. And it’s a wall, I assure you, as strong as steel. You’ve been deceived.’
‘By a Jewish harlot,’ I said.
This seemed to make her hesitate. I think she was a little upset that I had been sleeping with a Jewess.
‘Never again,’ I said.
‘She didn’t give you anything ... ?’
I shook my head.
Wanda sat on the bed and began to stroke my dusty hair. She helped me off with my overcoat and my jacket.
In time, as these things go, she helped me off with the rest of my clothes. Then she undressed and climbed into the narrow bed beside me. Her soft, yielding flesh, her massive breasts, her great, warm private parts, her bottom, like two comfortable cushions, her strong, engulfing legs and arms, her wide, hot mouth, all brought immediate relief to my anguish. I began to congratulate myself that I had not only recovered from my pain but that I would always have another woman waiting. So different was Wanda from Katya that it was almost like making love to a different species. Slender, boyish girls like Katya and huge, peasant girls like Wanda, each has her virtues. To know a hundred women is to know a hundred different forms of pleasure. I was lucky to understand this while still so young.
Rising from the damp and overheated bedding, Wanda said she had duties in the house. She kissed me. She asked me if I felt better. She told me she had been a virgin. She had always loved me. Now I would not need to go out for my consolations. With an awkward wink and a blown kiss, she left me. I slept for an hour or two and woke to find the room in cold, pale twilight. I thought, now that my temper had cooled, of going to visit Katya. The prospect of having two lovers, as she had had, pleased me. But I realised it would be hard to accomplish. Wanda was in a position to watch - and watch jealously - my every move.
I felt vengeful towards Shura. I had confided in him. I had told him I loved Katya. He had given me cocaine, white clothes, ivory, to distract me from his dark plots. He had pretended to be my friend and mentor in the ghetto and had exposed me to its worst aspects. All the while he had laughed up his sleeve. I could not beat him in a fight. He was too strong. I could not go to the police and say he was a criminal. I had been involved in some of those crimes, as had friends of mine in the Moldovanka. Not that I regarded them any more as friends. Probably they had all known about Shura’s making a fool of me and been amused. I had been treated as a naïf. A village idiot. There must be half-a-dozen good stories about Max the Hetman all over Odessa. I had lost face. I wondered how I could in turn humiliate Shura. Nothing came to mind. He was too certain of himself. Anything I did he could turn to his advantage. There was only one person to whom he owed something, whom he respected (aside from Misha the Jap) and that was Uncle Semya. I grinned to myself. It would be nothing less than dutiful to go to Uncle Semya and ‘warn’ him of Shura’s involvement in crime. My uncle would be horrified. He would send for Shura. He would punish him. It was an ideal revenge because it showed me in a good light and Shura in a bad one.
I turned my attention to Katya. I might be able to involve her in the revenge by mentioning her to Uncle Semya as the hussy who had led my cousin into evil ways. But Uncle Semya was not shocked by such things. He was tolerant of young men who sowed their wild oats. What would he think if I told him Shura was Katya’s pimp? It would not make Uncle Semya take reprisals on Katya. Somehow I would have to work out my own revenge on Katya.
I am not very proud of those thoughts. But I was a hurt youngster believing himself utterly betrayed by his friends and by a race. I behaved in a bigoted fashion. I have not a bigoted bone in my body. My dislike of Jews, my anger at being identified with them, was because we Ukrainians were inundated by Jews. The Revolution was directly inspired by Jews. To be a Slav in Odessa was to be in a minority. As a member of a minority, I am anxious to disassociate myself from those of Oriental origin who control our press, our publishing, our radio and television stations, our industry, our engineering plants, our financial world. How many Ukrainians occupy such positions in England?
Katya could quite easily be reported to the police. But that would mean her arrest and deportation (since she and her mother were from Warsaw), possibly her imprisonment. Even in my most vengeful moments I balked at my little Camille of the ghetto going to prison. Also I wanted a more personal revenge.
I remembered the clown from Magasin Wagner which now lay smashed on her floor. I would send her another Christmas present. From an unknown admirer. I knew she hated spiders: spiders horrified her more than anything. I would collect together a huge box of them and I would send it to her, wrapped in wonderful paper. She would open it on Christmas Eve and her screams would bring the whole Moldovanka down about her ears.
In the meantime I was distracted from my vengeance. Lovely, simpering Wanda brought me tea and cake, stroked my body and made herself familiar with my private parts as if she saw them as being quite independent of me, as if she played with a tame mouse, or a snake, which she would kiss, fondle and laugh at. She had something Katya had never possessed: while Wanda made love to me I could continue to exist in my private mind, keep myself to myself. It is a great advantage of such girls. I have always valued it.
Another advantage to Wanda, of course, was that she had slept with nobody else. She was clean. I did not have to take precautions with her. This was a relief. That night I did little but scheme against Shura and Katya. Uncle Semya had to go out to dinner, so I was not in a position to betray either Shura or myself. After our meal, Aunt Genia played some popular Jewish melodies on her gramophone. Wanda and I made an excuse and retired early. I was in a far better position with her than I had been with Katya. With Wanda, the relationship between Katya and myself was reversed. I became the teacher, instructing my wonderful, passive pupil in every delicious debauchery.
My enjoyment of Wanda nonetheless left me with a passionate determination for revenge. I began to collect the spiders for Katya’s Christmas present. Soon I had about a dozen in an old tea-box. But I wanted more. So that they should not fight and devour one another I found various insects and fed the spiders every evening. Wanda did not know what I kept in the box. I refused to tell her. In the meantime I purchased gifts to present at Christmas Eve dinner. My uncle did not celebrate the Season elaborately. Like my mother he had little use for formal church services. The day before Christmas Eve I asked to see Uncle Semya in his study. He was rather distracted. The War, of course, was making his business difficult. The partial blockade had delayed certain important shipments. I determined to get my revenge on Shura as quickly as possible. Uncle Semya stood behind his desk, his back to the window. He wore a heavy black frockcoat and a black cravat.
‘I have distressing news, Semyon Josefovitch,’ I began, it is my duty to tell you what it is. You, of course, must take whatever action you think fit.’
This amused him. His mood of distraction appeared to lift. He asked me to sit down in one of the hard, cane-bottomed chairs he favoured. He leaned back in his own leather-padded chair and lit a Burma cheroot. The room began to fill with heavy, oily smoke.
‘I hope you are not in trouble, Maxim.’
‘I hope so, too, uncle. My mother would be horrified if she learned what had happened.’
‘Happened?’ He became more alert.
‘Or almost happened, I suppose. I believe Shura to be involved with crooks.’
He was surprised. He put his cheroot into his brass Persian ashtray. He scratched his head. He produced a thin, puzzled smile. ‘What makes you think so?’
‘He is mixed up i
n the rackets. He could be working with Misha the Jap.’
‘Misha the what?’
‘The Jap. A notorious bandit in the Slobodka district.’
‘I believe I’ve heard of him.’
This was no surprise. Misha’s exploits were the raw material of all the popular papers in Odessa. He had even been mentioned in the Nick Carter and Sherlock Holmes dime-novel pulps we had in those days.
‘He is a kidnapper,’ I said, ‘a hold-up man. He forces local people to pay him protection money. If they don’t, he shoots them or burns their shops. He deals in drugs. In prostitution. Illegal alcohol. He owns cabarets, taverns. He bribes police-inspectors, city officials, everyone.’