Intuitions Nightmare
By: Ashley N. Pearce
Intuitions Nightmare
Copyright 2013 Ashley N. Pearce
Published by Ashley N. Pearce
Terms and Conditions:
The purchaser of this book is subject to the condition that he/she shall in no way resell it, nor any part of it, nor make copies of it to distribute freely.
I dedicate this book to my son, Aiden. He is my inspiration and motivation. Without the unconditional love and support from him, I could have never gotten to this point.
Chapter 1
Through this haze, my life is something I barely recognize. My reality is evident in this chaos, but it is a reality I do not choose. The warnings are in front of me. Some would use this to their advantage, while others may turn the other way. How I use this information is ultimately up to me.
SOMETHING IS COMING…..
~
They say the world is a cruel place. I say this world is much worse than cruel. I spent my time watching helplessly as my family fell into ruins. My parents had been having issues with their marriage for as long as I could remember. They held divorce over each other every waking second for years until my mother became pregnant with my sister, Brooke. My parents used her as their second chance to fix everything and start over. It didn’t last long.
When Brooke turned 2, my older sister, Katelyn made her first trip to jail at the young age of 17. Her life had spiraled out of control after meeting her first boyfriend. They dove deeply into alcohol and drugs together, trapped in a drug induced stupor for days at a time. She completely threw her life away when she picked him and the drugs over her education.
She would disappear for days at a time, losing her ability to function normally. She got really bad when she decided there was nothing she wouldn’t try and she put her life in danger every time she used. When she made it home, my parents would scream at her as she walked in the door and they would scream at each other as she walked out of the room. My dad would always leave in a fit of rage, leaving the violent sound of the door slamming and the soft weeping of my mom. She would lock herself away in her room for hours which left Brooke in my care until she stopped feeling sorry for herself. It did give Brooke and I a special bond most kids didn’t have with their siblings.
I remember the look on my father’s face as he walked out the door, patience gone, and the look of complete and utter defeat. My parents decided that time apart was a necessity. I didn’t agree. I realized that he probably wouldn’t come back and that things would never be the same. When he moved into the apartment, my hope for a whole family completely disappeared. Even worse, Katelyn went on an even greater downward spiral. I knew deep down that if her behavior continued, I would be very likely to witness an untimely death in the near future.
I, on the other hand, was my parents’ only hope for imminent success. I was born, Aidriana Elise Masters on July 3, 1989, in a small town in Michigan. My parents knew right away that I was different and special. My intelligence was far above average and they knew I would do extraordinary things with that intelligence if I was given the proper chances. So like most parents, they went just a little overboard and moved me up a couple of years in school.
Though I always excelled in the educational aspects of my childhood, the rest became full of ridicule and in turn, unhealthy resentment of my parents. I loved them dearly but they had unintentionally made my life very difficult. Being almost 2 years younger than most of my peers, left me confused and depressed. Many of them made fun of me for far surpassing them in my educational endeavors. I took it very personally which lead to even more confusion and resentment.
For a long time, Brooke was my outlet for human emotion and at times had been my only friend. Sadly, she was just a baby and became an unhealthy attachment. My parents pushed me to find new friends and spend less time with her. I felt unbearably lonely and longed for connections and friendship. I had one person whom I had that with other than Brooke, but like all kids and teens, we had fights and fall outs. During those times, I felt completely alone.
When there was finally calm to the storm I called my life, I began to wonder if this was the turning point. Maybe by some act of God, I was going to have some peace. My father began to talk about coming home. Katelyn was taking rehab seriously for the very first time since she had gone. Best of all, I had found people to fill the void I had always felt from the lonely life I called mine.
It wasn’t until the strange events began happening that I realized the calm had only been a twisted illusion, giving me an unreasonable sense of hope and tranquility. I had only been standing in the eye of it all and the worst was going to come. I could never prepare myself for what was coming next.
~
The year is 2005 and my last, first day of high school was underway. I had gotten to school thirty minutes before class, which was unheard of for me. I parked my car in the student parking lot and had actually gotten an unusually close spot to the front. I could hear the loud banter of another senior girl outside of my window as she screamed harsh obscenities at her boyfriend. I laughed to myself at the thought of ever being in a ridiculous situation like that as I grabbed my school bag and purse.
As I walked past the couple, I kept my head hung low to avoid any possibility of being sucked into their argument. I slung both bags over my left shoulder and walked quietly into the building. I had always hated the anxiety I felt on the first day of school of each passing year. I knew, without a doubt, that I wouldn’t miss this place. I also knew that I wouldn’t miss a majority of the people.
As if my anxiety wasn’t running rampant on its own, the sight of her made my skin crawl. The day was bound to only get worse when I was already being scoped out by the wolves of the school. The rest of us were just helpless sheep waiting for them to come in for the kill. They walked in perfect sync with each other as their flowing blonde hair swayed with the movement of their bodies. I kept my eyes forward and away from the four girls, but mostly way from Chrissie. She was their ring leader and head bitch.
My suspicions about my day getting worse only intensified when my shoulder slammed against hers as she walked by. I shuddered at the feeling but decided that walking away quickly was my best option. She, on the other hand, began yelling in my direction.
“Hey, loser! Watch where you’re walking!” Chrissie shouted.
I was feeling unusually feisty today so I kept walking and threw my middling finger into the air. There was just no reason to waste my breath on her. When I heard three gasps and an ‘oh hell no!’. I knew there was going to be hell to pay and there was a good chance I would being paying for it later.
The pressure on my shoulder made me regret my gesture. Apparently now would be a much more reasonable time to pay so I braced myself for my first annual smack down from a girl I used to be friends with.
“May I ask what it is you’re doing right now,” a familiar voice asked from behind me. I straightened up from my cowering position and I instantly melted into the ice blue eyes of my love.
“Ethan! You scared me!” I said in shock.
“Expecting someone else,” he said smiling, though the smile didn’t connect with his eyes the way it usually did.
I smiled back at him and felt the giddy tug of my stomach. “Oh, yeah, he’s a blue eyed babe that I meet up with on the weekends,” I said sarcastically. “But really, I thought you were one of the four bitches. I may have flipped Chrissie off about a minute ago.”
“Wow, asking for a beating much?” he said laughing.
Again, his eyes were disconnected, even a little dull. That worried me. Ethan was the first boy I had ever dated. He had gorgeous ice blue eyes and dark brown hair. His lips were full, skin sun
kissed, and he stood tall and lanky. He held a big part of my sanity over the last year and had become someone I deeply cared about. When I began to assess his facial expression and body language that morning, I felt a sudden urge to vomit.
The bags under his eyes made me assume that he hadn’t slept very well over the weekend or maybe hadn’t slept at all. He seemed to be fidgeting as he watched me and realized he had only done that when he was hiding something from someone. That someone was me for the first time in our short relationship. I frowned at him as he tried to smile at me and failed again.
“You seem a little tense, babe. Everything okay?”
“We need to talk,” he said softly. Time stopped at that moment and every possible bad thought crossed my mind in the blink of an eye. I could feel the clenching muscles in my chest tightening and the tears devoured my eyes in a searing burn. He touched my hand and my legs began to slowly give out beneath me. I could never understand how one simple phrase could hold such a large amount of power over any given person.
“Excuse me?” I whispered.
“It’s not what you think, Aid. And this is not the time nor is it the place to have this conversation.”
I noticed his hands on my arms and I forcefully pushed them away. “Don’t touch me,” I said through clenched teeth. “If you’re breaking up with me, then just get it over with!”
“Whoa, no, that is not even close to what’s going on. I never said anything remotely close to that,” he said in a frustrated tone. “I’m moving.”
I stared at him in disbelief and his eyes widened as he realized what he had just said. “What did you just say?”
“Dammit, Aidriana, I didn’t want to talk about this here! Now you’re going to be hysterical the rest of the day. It’s Ohio, not China.”
“Hysterical? You think this, is me being hysterical? I’m far from being hysterical, Ethan. Pissed, maybe, but hysterical?” I said sounding just a little bit hysterical.
“Listen, it’s a short drive. My mom even said she’d buy you a ticket to visit once a month. She is getting a huge raise and I’m not letting her pass it up.” I stood in silence with him trying to collect myself and work through all of the information. It wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t that good either. “I get it if you want to just break up.”
“Shut up, Ethan. I’m thinking, okay! This is kind of a lot to process.”
“Sorry,” he responded softly..
“Ohio, huh? I think we can swing Ohio,” I said smiling.
He grabbed my hips and pulled me to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and bent down so that our lips met gently.
“Excuse me, Ms. Masters, Mr. Reynold.” Busted, I thought, a smirk slowly creeping onto my lips. “Very touching moment and all, but class started five minutes ago,” he looked down at his watch and paused, “as of right,” he paused again. “Now! So I would suggest that you both say your goodbyes for the hour and finish this up after your break comes.”
“Sorry, Mr. Harolds,” we both mumbled at him.
“Get to class,” he said. “Stop staring at me and move it!” Mr. Harolds boomed.
That was all it took and we parted ways. No goodbye. No Kiss. No nothing. I scurried on to my first class, English, and it finally hit me that he was leaving. I opened the door as quietly as humanly possible but of course the damn thing squealed at me in protest. I cracked the door open just wide enough for me to slip in, but everyone was already looking at me so I wasn’t sure what difference the stupid door made. Their eyes were all slowly coming out of that bored haze they were already experiencing after only five minutes. Some even cracked a little smile at me, trying really hard not to laugh at what was coming next.
“Aidriana, nice of you to join us,” Mrs. Aress said sarcastically.
‘What a bony old hag,’ I thought to myself
“This being your second year with me, you’d think you’d know my rules by now,” She continued.
“Sorry Mrs. Aress. I was having an emergency situation. Won’t happen again,” I mumbled
I quickly slinked to my desk extremely awkwardly and sat down in the back row. So this day was not going at all how I had planned. I mean, could it get much worse? At this point, my mind started wandering. I could feel the black tendrils of depression taking hold of me slowly, ripping my sanity into shreds. Before I knew it, I was walking to lunch alone. It was like I was on auto-pilot. I didn’t even realize I wasn’t still in English until I felt pressure on my right wrist. I looked down at the hand on my wrist and then back up at the face the hand belonged to.
“Babe, are you okay?” I looked at him for a minute and realized I was standing with Ethan again. “Aidriana, I was calling your name down the hall for like two minutes and you just kept walking,” he said softly, worry creeping on to his face.
“Where are we,” I said groggily.
“Are you serious? We’re in the hallway walking toward the lunchroom? It’s almost noon? Any of this sounding familiar?” He asked.
“Noon! I was just in first hour!” I protested.
“You’re kidding right?” He said.
I was losing my mind. No doubt about that. I had just lost almost four hours of my life and had no recollection of what I was doing. I was truly worried at this moment. “I think I just need to eat. I forgot my breakfast this morning,” I lied.
We went to lunch, where Ethan then crammed as much food down my throat as I could stomach. When that was over, we kissed and parted ways for our last two classes. The haze came and went as the classes passed. Next thing I knew, the bell was ringing and sixth hour was over. That’s when I had the sudden realization that I hadn’t seen Alexa all day. It was becoming a weird day gone completely haywire.
Maybe it was hysteria, or maybe I was just delusional. I walked out of class doing one more sweep through the hallway, but Alexa was nowhere to be found. So I grabbed my bag from my locker and found Ethan. We kissed goodbye and he promised he’d call me in a few hours so we could talk more about this move.
I strolled out to my car and the strange haze was coming back again. I started my car and started to make my way home. Just like that, I was in my driveway having a “what the hell” kind of moment. What the hell was going on? What the hell is wrong with me? I didn’t know, but it was bad nonetheless.
Chapter 2
When I got in the door, I grabbed the phone and dialed Alexa’s number. After three rings, someone finally answered.
“Hello,” the woman said quietly.
“Hi, is Alexa home?” I asked. There was silence on the other end and then hysterical sobs. At this point, I was very confused and had a sudden tightness in my chest. “Mrs. Levado, is that you?”
There were more sobs and sniffs. “Mhmm,” she mumbled and continued to cry.
“What’s going on Mandy?” I said frantically. “Are you alright?”
“No! Everything is wrong!” she blurted.
“Okay, Mandy, I’m coming there right now. I will be there in five minutes,” I said.
Being in such a hurry, I didn’t even bother telling my mom where I was going. I jumped into my car and drove to Alexa’s house. I was hoping she would be there and she could help me calm her mother down. I pulled into the driveway and parked quickly. I ran up to the door and let myself in. I was not expecting what came next.
Alexa’s mom was sitting in the living room, in the middle of the floor, and was looking like a hot mess. Her hair was falling out of her ponytail holder. Her mascara was smudged down her face and had dripped on to her white cotton button up. Her shirt was only tucked into her black skirt on the left side, while the right side was hanging over. I could see she had fallen down because her skirt was ripped all the way up the side.
“Oh my God, Mandy what’s going on?” I said as I rushed over to her.
“She looked up at me slowly. Her brown eyes were bloodshot and her bottom lip was quivering slightly. “Everything is wrong. It’s wrong. It’s all wrong,” she repeated in
a soft stupor.
I took a deep breath. Now I was terrified. I knelt down on my knees and I pulled her into a tight embrace. “It’s okay,” I whispered. “Everything is going to be fine.”
She pulled away from me and looked directly into my eyes. “That, sweetheart, is where you are horribly wrong.” The tone in her voice was cold and disturbing.
“What do you mean, Mandy? What’s going on?” I asked in confusion.
“I didn’t know, Aidriana. No one knew,” she whispered.
“What? Knew what?” I asked hysterically.
“About Alexa. She’s… she’s dying Aidriana,” she said softly.
My heart skipped a beat. I started breathing quickly and the breaths were becoming faster and shorter. I was hyperventilating and my body was going numb. Was this real? I pinched my arm, hard, and winced in pain. I was going under quickly and my vision was beginning to blur. It made sense now why Mandy looked how she did, and I was about to take a similar trip.
~
The next thing I remembered, I was on the ground, my head was throbbing, and my eyes were wet.
“Aidriana! Aid, wake up!” Mandy screamed.
I looked around and she was standing over my face, tears in her eyes, shaking my shoulder slightly. I slowly picked myself up and sat with my knees up against my chest. She looked at me with soft, motherly eyes, worry clearly taking over her face.
“Are you okay, Aidriana? I know this is a lot to process,” she said softly.
“How long does she have?” I whispered.
“We don’t know,” she answered as tears started welling up in her eyes.
“When did you find out?” I asked.
“Yesterday afternoon. They said she has cancer. It’s spreading too rapidly for anything to happen to help her,” she whimpered.
“She’s sixteen year old. How is this possible?”
“I don’t know sweetheart. I really don’t. You should go see her. She’s alone, sleeping at the hospital,” she sighed heavily.
“Alright, I need to go see her.”
Mandy pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. We sat there for in a tight embrace for a few minutes longer but I needed to get out of there. I needed to see Alexa. “All we can do is be there for her and hope for a miracle,” she whispered.