“This cannot continue—I have to tell you. Maggie—they did ask him that—both questions. He said yes.”
THIRTY-ONE
DECISIONS
Everything had changed. I woke up from my first full night of sleep since Christmas, and stared at the ceiling of my room. I still couldn’t completely grasp what Sara had told me about Gavin, and I tried to keep a check on every emotion conceivable. With the images of Gavin’s face flashing in my mind, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do about it, but I had made one decision: I would stay in the Weald.
Part of my decision was due to the message Gavin relayed through Sara. He felt it was essential that I stay here. He believed, as did Sara and Billy, that my role was much more important than merely being the Steward of the Weald. He was right, of course, and if he thought it was important enough to leave so that I could stay, I wouldn’t disappoint him. Deep down at my core, I knew that he would find a way back to me, even if that seemed impossible under the current circumstances.
I was also more worried about Gavin than before—when he only faced a death sentence. As foreign and improbable as it sounded, he loved me and it meant our separation made him miserable. It also meant that, eventually, he would be dragged into an unthinkably dark place when I die. My eyes misted at the thought of him in pain and my chest heaved with every breath. His love was the gift I had dreamt of from the moment I first saw him, but now it was the one thing I wished I could give back. The price he will pay will be too high—and all for what, a silly school-girl fantasy? I stared at the gold bird, the beautiful, ironic little reminder of what love had meant for Caorann, and choked back a sob.
Stumbling out of bed, still groggy, I tried to settle my nerves with a long bath. Soaking in the bubbles, I tried to figure out what I would do if Gavin did make it back. My mind refused to work—I had nothing. In all honesty I knew I was just being silly. He couldn’t come back, right? It was that simple. Even if he didn’t make it back, I had no idea what I needed to do about Doug, who kept pressuring me for a date. While I had thought about it—a lot recently—there was no way I could now. Even if loving Gavin was like chasing smoke, my heart belonged to him and him alone.
Those weren’t the only problems I wrestled with—I was torn over what my decision tonight would mean for my family—today was New Year’s Eve. We were happy right now. Even though I had been sleep-deprived for several days, I still enjoyed seeing everything back, it seemed, to normal.
Last night Mitch had gone for another ride with Dad in the Mustang—they hadn’t missed a day yet. When they got home, Mitch came upstairs in his Razorback pajamas and climbed into Dad’s lap. Until Mitch fell asleep, they talked about the bowl game Arkansas prepared to play after the first of the year. Mom suggested putting Mitch to bed at ten o’clock, but Dad politely refused. Dad held him until he too fell asleep at midnight.
The bigger picture filled my mind—I couldn’t escape thinking about it now. It seemed inevitable. I would be the Maebown Steward, and the fate of the Maebowns of the past haunted me. Could I be as brave? Could I avert some hidden crisis? How do I do that? I can’t even decide what I want to study in college. I didn’t know the answer to those questions, but I did know I would risk a lot by meeting Chalen at the Seoladán tonight. Even if I survive that, my prospects didn’t appear to get much brighter. Deep down, I realized I would not live to be my grandmother’s age, and very likely, not my mother’s either. For weeks, Billy and Sara have tried to tell me otherwise, but no amount of Fae comforting could erase what I felt was my fate. Yes, I learned to believe in fate.
* * *
I finished updating my journal, got dressed and went downstairs to help Mom get the house cleaned up. Several weeks ago I had talked to Sara and Billy about today. We debated the best way to protect everyone on New Year’s Eve. Since Seelie guards were posted around the garden, Billy and Sara thought I should have everyone here. It would be easier, they reasoned, to keep everyone safe under one roof. I agreed.
So I talked my family into hosting a New Year’s Eve party—a big one. I didn’t want to leave any of the people I cared about at risk, so they would all be here tonight. Billy saw to it that no one refused this invitation.
* * *
It’s time.
Sara, who stayed hidden from view all evening, agreed to remain with my family at the Cottage to look after everyone celebrating the New Year. I hugged Doug, and made up an excuse that I was going to drive to Sara’s house and pick her up. I promised to be right back.
Doug smiled, and started to get up. “I’ll go with you.”
“Oh, sorry, two-seater.” I said.
“Then I’ll drive,” he offered. Doug shot me a mischievous look—I knew he saw this as a chance to finally make-out.
I smiled at him, gently grabbing the hair behind his left ear, twirling it in my fingers. “Doug, they say distance makes the heart grow fonder.” Oh yak, he couldn’t possibly buy that line, could he? “I’ll be right back, don’t worry. Besides, I need a few minutes of girl talk with Sara.”
Ronnie leaned over, smiling. “Oh, you’d better let her go. I insisted on listening to girl talk, just once, and look what happened to me.”
Doug smiled broadly and started laughing. He threw his arm around Ronnie’s shoulder and winked at me. Wrinkling his nose, he said, “Well, if that’s the case, I think I’ll just wait here.”
He looked back at Ronnie. “Kick your butt at some pool?”
“Wow, pretty, very pretty,” Ronnie said, slowly shaking his head, “but not very smart. Sure, prepare to be owned.” He feigned a yawn and popped his knuckles, sending Doug into laughter.
Doug followed Ronnie downstairs. I felt a bit of emptiness when I lost eye contact with them. I would have given anything to stay with them, knowing they would laugh non-stop for the next hour. But that wasn’t an option for me. After telling Mom and Dad the story about where I was going, I smiled at the top of the fireplace where Sara hid. I walked past the Seelie in the garden and got in my car. Billy materialized in the passenger seat, startling me, when I drove past the first bend.
“One would think you’d be accustomed to that by now.” He didn’t try to mask the humor in his voice.
“One would think.”
“Don’t be nervous. We’ll go up, and you’ll give him your answer. We’ll come right back down, just like we discussed, in and out, no more.”
“I know. And Billy … thanks for going with me.”
“Eh, it’s nothing. This will be easy. When we get back, Sara will have the Council here just after midnight and we can tell them the truth—you’ll finally be able to give them your answer and you can stop pretending. They won’t permit anything to happen to you, even if some of them are put out by the news. Having a Maebown and an Aetherfae on their side—it’s a good thing, Maggie.”
I exhaled loudly, trying to joke a little to lighten my mood. “This better work.”
He grinned at me.
“Of course it will. It is my idea after all.”
I knew he was sugarcoating it because he didn’t mention the prospect of meeting another Aetherfae—a real possibility that had both of us worried. I drove to the abandoned road and pulled as close to the boulders as possible. Billy put his hand on the hood, and my pink Thunderbird quickly transformed into a large gray blob that shrank and solidified into a boulder.
“Is that really necessary?”
“Yes. You wouldn’t want anyone coming down the road to see it—but I’ll change it back, better than new, I promise.”
“Well, better than new? I’m holding you to that!” I felt the smile spread across my face despite my nerves.
The moon had been full the night before. It was waning tonight, and huge clouds floated beneath a starlit sky. Moonlight cast a blue glow on everything, but the dark shadows stole my attention. I went back through the charade of being scared—it wasn’t hard, honestly. My voluntary shudder turned real halfway up the hill and the hair on the back
of my neck stood up. This totally sucks. As we headed up the hill I searched with my mind, but I didn’t sense any Fae above me at the Seoladán. Billy didn’t either—I could tell by the concerned look on his face.
My nerves took over when I saw the greenhouse above me. It was so quiet, too quiet—not even a breeze blowing. In fact, there wasn’t any sound at all, except crunching as we walked on dead leaves. It unnerved me, so I extended my mind and blew the leaves out of our path all the way to the fountain.
Glancing at my lucky watch, we were still a few minutes early. I had focused on Chalen during the previous visits and never noticed the details before. The situation was creepy, but I considered how beautiful the gardens must have been fifty years ago.
The journals said that the flowerbed around the fountain had been a moon garden, completely filled with white roses and other white flowers. I ignored the dead weeds and imagined it that way—stunning, I bet. For the first time, I realized that the beds were in the shape of a huge triquetra, with the circular moon garden in the middle, and all of it set inside the circular perimeter wall.
The cottage was in a terrible state of disrepair, but I could see its past beauty hidden under the filth and weeds. Mom really had captured every detail of how it was supposed to look. Seeing it like this, with cracked panes in the small second floor window, and missing roof slates, was profoundly sad. The stucco walls were cracked and stained and the gingerbread along the soffits was rotted and hanging down in a few places. In this state, it was more a childhood nightmare than a storybook cottage.
Billy walked around the perimeter of the wall, to the well, and studied it. Next, he checked the abandoned cottage and grabbed something—a paper maybe—from the front door.
Billy was agitated when he returned.
“What is it?”
“Chalen doesn’t want you to deliver the answer here,” he said, staring at the torn paper in his hand.
“Then where?” My voice trailed off as I knew, without seeing the note, exactly where—the island. Chalen stacked the deck again. It was the Unseelie cycle.
“You are not going. He can learn of your answer when the Council does.” Billy said adamantly.
I thought about what Billy suggested and shook my head.
“That’s not possible, Billy. How many Unseelie are on the island right now, a hundred, a thousand, more? ...an Unseelie Aetherfae?”
“Exactly, Maggie, you are not going there. No, out of the question! If you get into trouble on the island, the Council will not risk it to come to your aid—this is their time. The island is the most dangerous place in the world for you right now.”
Classic Fae stubbornness—so predictable. “Billy, please! You have to think about something else. My family and friends are all down at the bottom of the hill—they’re in danger if I don’t go. Do you really think Chalen has set this up just to wait to be informed by the Council? No! You know it, and I know it! If I don’t show up, he’ll do terrible things—they all will. Even if the Seelie in the garden help us, there are only eight of them, and what ... maybe two or three more close by? With you and Sara that makes maybe thirteen—if we’re lucky. They’ll kill all of us. I know in my gut I have to do this, and I’ll be alright.” That last part is a fricken’ lie.
He shook his head. “There has to be another way.”
“I don’t think so. He planned this, he knew you were guarding me and my family, he knew I wouldn’t come up here until the last moment, and he knew you or Sara would be with me—he’s given me no choice.”
I grabbed the note and read it. “It says to meet him on the second island—now! I’m going!”
“You are the most stubborn, intransigent, obdurate, mule-headed human being I’ve ever known,” he snapped.
“But you know I’m right.”
He paused, exhaled, and then nodded. “I’m going with you. I can stay offshore—you must not leave the shore—promise me!”
“Yes, if I can avoid it, I promise.”
“Maggie!”
“No, that’s the best I can do. This is in his hands now.” I exhaled. “Do you think he knows I’m Water inclined?”
“I don’t think so. You’re right about him—he’s arrogant. I believe he thinks you’ll be too terrified to refuse him. He is clever, yes, but I think—no, I hope—he intends to do nothing more than scare you into submission—and he will scare you for the entertainment of all of them. Maggie, please reconsider. I can go get the Council right now.”
That might just work. “Where are they?”
“Spread all over. They’re convening here tonight at midnight, but Sherman and Victoria are close. They can find the rest of the Council within the hour.”
His plan was much more attractive than a suicide mission. But as I considered it I heard a thunder clap in the distance, and the wind picked up almost immediately. To the west, along the horizon, a storm blew in. I knew what that meant—trouble.
“I don’t have time.”
He studied the clouds. “No, we don’t. Dammit. Go down to the dock and get the boat ready—don’t leave! I’ll go let Sara know what’s going on and I’ll meet you at the dock.”
Billy popped out and I felt him streak down the hill. I turned and ran back towards the driveway. My heart pounded when I crossed the drive and headed down the tiny road towards Sara’s old cottage. In a little ravine, I turned left and followed a dry stream bed towards the end of the cove, just down from the dock. I stumbled in the dark over logs and rocks, and my mind flashed back to the night when Gavin left. Not now, idiot. I pushed harder until I found the path.
I untied the boat and worked on all the fasteners to get the cover off. When I climbed behind the steering wheel I realized that I didn’t have the keys.
“Crap! I can’t go back into the cottage and grab the boat keys—hey Mom, Dad, just going for a midnight cruise—by myself—in December. Crap!”
I studied the key hole. It’s just a connection, right? Electricity. I felt the battery and traced the wire, sensing the energy back to it. There were three wires connected to the ignition. I made the connection, arcing an electrical current through the wires until I smelled melting plastic. I forced them together until the starter turned slowly. I generated a little more energy through the battery, and the starter spun faster. The engine came to life.
I looked for Billy, but he wasn’t back yet.
He’ll catch up.
I motored past the dock towards the center of the cove where I knew I wouldn’t hit anything. Up the hill, the Christmas lights lit up the cottage, and light poured through the big windows on the back. People were moving around inside. I hoped that none of them would look down at the lake and see me. It was dark, so they probably wouldn’t.
The storm edged closer, and it was cold. My hands felt numb when I made it past the point and gunned the engine. Billy still wasn’t back when I passed the first island. There weren’t any Unseelie on it. The second island, however, was full of them. Not nearly as many as I had feared, but still, I counted fifty. I shuddered again—cold and terrified. The waves grew bigger, and water slapped the sides of the boat, rocking me from side to side. After piloting the Chris Craft around to the north side of the island, I glanced up at the sky. The storm isn’t here, but it’s close—just a few minutes.
I wanted to wait for Billy, so I sat off shore, motoring and steering to keep the Capri in place. As I struggled, the water grew still ahead of me—as still as bath water. They were inviting me to come closer, and it wasn’t an invitation I could refuse. A wave, like a watery hand, pulled the Capri into the calm area, and even though it frightened me, I didn’t fight it or try to speed away. Instead, I cut the engine, letting the connection under the dash fall away. As the motor sputtered to a stop, I searched for Billy one more time. Nothing. Billy, Please... Silent begging didn’t matter, though. The Fae on the island drew me slowly toward shore.
My heart pounded in my throat, as fast as a hummingbird’s. None of them were
visible on the beach or in the black tree line, but I knew where each one waited. The boat drifted up to the shore, and I felt exposed when the hull made the gentle thud of contact. Sitting will drive me crazy for sure—I need to be moving.
I climbed over the windshield and lashed the rope to the rock outcropping. Being tied to the island made me feel like an animal caught in a hunter’s trap.
I took a long deep breath.
Okay, game on.
“Chalen?”
No answer.
I waited for a few seconds. “Chalen, I’m here ... with a decision.”
Still no answer.
One of them flitted past me in the darkness, probably as an insect. I didn’t look, and wondered if they knew I could sense them. I had kept that secret since the Air trial. But if a member of the Council worked with them, they knew it too. It got closer this time and I heard the humming of tiny insect wings streak past my ear. There were a couple more of them on the next pass, then a dozen. They weren’t hitting me but they were harassing me. I threw up my barrier, forcing them away several feet.
That’s what they wanted.
Chalen had been inside my barrier at the Water trial and he knew it deprived me of my senses—or at least it had. Billy had taught me to feel past it. I didn’t do it yet—instead, I did exactly what I thought they expected. I acted like I couldn’t hear anything and twisted my head around, spastically.
After a few more moments Billy still hadn’t shown up, and I felt genuine panic. The possibility that they intercepted him settled on my frayed nerves. My stomach lurched. I calmed myself the best I could and looked back towards the lake. Oh hell no...
In the moonlight, the Capri bobbed, untied, in the dark water fifty feet from shore. The rope floated in a loose curl in front of it—exactly like my nightmare with Doug. I didn’t just feel trapped—I was trapped. I fought to control my heart rate and again tried to steady my nerves. With my shaking hand, I also wiped a tear from my cheek—I’d never been this terrified in my life.