The couple had more than adored Solo. They had more than adored each other, too, and deep down he'd always wanted what they'd had--what he'd believed he could never hope to have.
"I still can't imagine you tending the land," Vika said.
"I did more than tend the land. I raised the animals. Not the clones all the farmers raise today, but the real thing. Pigs, sheep, goats, chickens, cows. We refused to sell them," something that would have made his parents millionaires, "because we hoped to help with repopulation."
He still refused to sell. Thankfully, he didn't have to worry about them while he was gone. Always before a meeting with Michael, he hired a team to see to their every need.
"You were blessed."
Very much so. And he yearned for her to experience the same. "I want another vow from you, Vika." You shouldn't do this. You know better. She could accidentally give the information to her father. Still, he said, "If ever we're separated, I want you to go to the farm." He gave her the address. "Memorize it."
A huge smile bloomed, only to fall into a frown of devastation. "Why would you welcome me there?"
Why the change in her? "Maybe I could use a housekeeper." He would rather pamper her than watch her do chores, but those kinds of details could be worked out later. First, he had to get her there--an idea he liked more with every second that passed.
"I--" Paling, she rubbed at her throat. "How long would you want me there?"
"I don't know." Right now, he couldn't imagine not wanting her there. In his bed, morning and night, her pale hair spread over his pillow, her slight body snuggled under his covers. Her mint and jasmine scent would permeate the air. He would be able to protect her at all hours of the day and night, to empower her so that she would bloom as she had during their training session, watching the sparkle light up her eyes and the flush darken her cheeks.
"What would happen when you tired of me? Where would I go?" She shook her head, adamant. "No. I'm sorry. I can't rely on your offer. I'm sorry," she repeated. "If necessary, I'll get a job somewhere else. I'm highly skilled."
Uh, a while ago she'd said she had no skills.
"At something, I mean," she added hastily. "I'm skilled at something. Surely. I just, I have to do this on my own. Out there, in the real world, I'm the only one I can trust. And besides, I told you. I'm saving."
"You're scared of men. I get it. But you don't have to--"
"I'm not scared of men! I'll have you know--"
"--worry on my farm," he interjected, forcing her to be quiet or miss what he was saying. "You'd cook, clean, and feed the animals. You're used to that, right?"
Her mouth floundered open and closed. "That was a low blow."
"How so?" he asked, confused and irritated that she wasn't more willing. That she didn't seem to want him as much as he wanted her.
Golden brown lashes fused together. "You think that's all I'm good for."
"I do not."
A thick white fog suddenly rolled through the bars, black burning at the edges and claiming his attention. What the--
"We have arrived," Vika said, her voice now devoid of emotion. "The fog should clear within the next half hour, and we will be in our new location."
Twenty-one
Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.
--PROVERBS 4:13
NEVER WOULD VIKA HAVE guessed she would mourn the loss of the Nolands. But she did, and she would have given half of her treasure to return for a few weeks. She might have given all of her treasure to stay forever. In a matter of days, Solo had become one of her favorite things in the whole world. He was even better than chocolate!
She no longer feared his temper. After all, she'd angered him several times, but not once had he struck her. She'd even hit him, but instead of raging, he'd showed her how to hit him harder.
He was pragmatic and morose, but he was also kind and caring. And he had an unexpected sense of humor, one she didn't think he'd known about. One she'd managed to bring to the surface, surprising them both. He'd even offered her a home and a job, and maybe he'd done it out of pity, maybe he'd done it to keep her from changing her mind about freeing him, but still he'd done it. He was such a good man.
She shouldn't have rejected him so forcefully, shouldn't have hurt his feelings, but when the sudden burst of joy his offer had brought had faded, new fears had surfaced. What if she moved in, he got tired of her, and kicked her out? Or what if he got tired of her, let her stay, and brought a girlfriend home?
Vika's hands curled into tight little fists at just the idea of Solo pressing those soft lips onto another woman's mouth.
Why did she feel this way? No matter how much she wanted him, no matter how possessive she realized she was, she couldn't allow herself to fall into a relationship already doomed to fail. Yes, they seemed to have gotten past the circumstances that had brought them together. Yes, she loved spending time with him. But what about the future? How was she supposed to make him happy outside the circus?
It would be better for her to stick with her current plan. She would buy a new ID for herself, find the cuff key, free the otherworlders once and for all, and cut her ties with the circus. And if not the ID, then the home in New Colorado. No one would ever be able to kick her off her own land, or escort the woman who'd won Solo's heart to her door.
A hand on her shoulder, tugging her from her mind.
"Are you okay?" Solo asked, crouching beside her, his features tight with concern.
Oddly enough, she could truthfully say, "Yes. Why?"
"Look at yourself."
She did. Her clothes were a little dirty, a little wet. Nothing was out of place, though she was trembling from the chill.
The chill. Sweet mercy, but the temperature had taken a nosedive. She realized she'd wrapped her arms around her middle, trying to huddle into herself for warmth. "C-cold," she said, teeth chattering now that reality had made itself known.
Solo, who wore nothing more than the loincloth, wound their only blanket around her shoulders and tugged her against his chest.
His heart drummed against her shoulder, soothing her. She could have stayed in his arms forever--which was exactly why she had to pull away from him. And she would . . . after just a minute more . . . no, two minutes more . . . three . . . he was hot, a living furnace, and . . . and . . . and he had kissed her just a little while ago, and she still craved another, loooonger, deeeeper one.
He was the first man to ever be willing to risk her father's wrath, just to be with her. Matas had often claimed to want her, yes, and had even told her father they had been together, but Matas had never tried anything. Solo, though . . . he must really want her, because even though Jecis controlled his fate, he had pressed his lips against hers with such gentleness, as if she were precious, perhaps breakable, only to lift and study her expression before going back for another taste. A far more intense taste.
The memory alone caused her skin to prickle with longing, her insides to ache with need. Oh, how she ached.
Can't think about Solo's kisses right now. Any moment she would have to face her father. The fog would vanish and Jecis would look at the monitor inside his trailer and realize he was no longer inside the world between worlds, and he would emerge. She couldn't be found enjoying her punishment or she and Solo would be given another.
"They can't see us together like this," she said, lifting her head and scooting away from him.
He dropped his arm, nodded. She frowned at him. His face was an emotionless mask, giving none of his thoughts away. And yet, he suddenly radiated a frigidness that far surpassed what wafted from the mountains.
A sigh left her as understanding crested. He'd taken her words and action as a rejection.
"Solo," she said.
He pushed to his feet, miles of bronzed skin coming into view. If she was cold, he had to be closing in on frostbite. Standing, she unwound the blanket and thrust the material in his direction.
"H
ere," she said.
"No." He shook his head, adamant. "You keep it."
She couldn't hear his tone, but the vibration of his words packed a powerful punch. He must have been throwing each one like a baseball.
"Listen, you. I moved away from you because my father will erupt if he sees your hands on me, and I won't allow another whipping." After everything Solo had done for her, she wouldn't be able to bear the guilt.
That failed to relax him. "Just so you know, I'm not afraid of him. But don't worry. I understand. You and I can be friends in private, when you need my help, but we have to stay mere acquaintances in public. Right?"
Oh, that burned! "You need to get over yourself and stop the tantrum right now."
His gaze narrowed on her.
"Let's gather all the poker chips, all right?"
He blinked, a different reaction than she'd expected. "Poker chips? Do you mean we should put our cards on the table?"
"No, I don't mean we should put our cards on the table! A new game cannot start until all the chips are off the table." Why did he always question her about this stuff? "I'm trying to end your bad mood and start a good one, so help me out and listen."
"Very well." He pressed his lips together, as if to stop himself from . . . scowling? Laughing?
Whatever! "Here goes. I don't know you outside of this messed-up situation, and I certainly don't know how to handle whatever's happening between us. After we've ditched the circus, and if you haven't ditched me, and if you still want me, and if you don't want someone else, ask me to work for you and my answer might be different." Might be, but probably wouldn't be. Not that she'd tell him that. "And I'm not embarrassed to be with you. Though I should be! You're so foolish! I told you already, but I'll tell you again. I won't have you tortured simply because I like you. Why can't you get that through your head?"
The blinking started up again, though his eyes were brightening. "You like me and hope to protect me."
Finally! He understood. "Yes. I know staying away isn't much, but it's all I can do for you right now. Foolish man," she muttered.
He looked so surprised, she knew not many people had dared to call him such an irreverent name, and that she had just proved how comfortable she'd become with him. Otherwise she wouldn't have risked his increased ire when he clearly had no fear of her father.
Solo pondered her words for a moment, the light in those ocean blues still brightening, brightening. "If you aren't careful, Miss Vika," he said, "I won't ever be able to let you go."
She . . . had no idea how to respond. Keep her forever? Her silly mind was shouting, Yes, please.
Despite everything.
I have returned.
The familiar voice whispered through her mind, and she whipped to the right to confront the speaker. Her initial torrent of alarm subsided when she saw a tiny version of the dark-haired X perched on her shoulder. He appeared younger than before, stronger.
But never before had she seen this clearly into that other realm--while she was in another realm--and she wasn't sure what to think.
When your father comes, and he will, do whatever is necessary to escape the cage with Solo. His mouth wasn't moving, and yet his words reverberated inside her head. You need to leave. Now.
Liar! said Dr. E, causing her to swing to the left. He, too, was now a tiny version of himself. He appeared older than before, weaker. You know Solo will be captured. And if you're with him, you'll be captured, too.
A tap on her shoulder had her spinning back to Solo--who was right in front of her, concern once again radiating from him. "Are you okay?"
"D--did you see them?" she asked, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.
"See who?"
"Them." She looked left--Dr. E was gone. She looked right--X was gone. "But . . . but . . ." Her shoulders drooped. "Never mind."
"What did you see?" he insisted.
Twice they'd discussed that other realm, yet he'd never mentioned X or Dr. E, even though he had to know them. And he was Allorian, and somehow, during her dream that wasn't a dream, she had appeared on Alloris. But she wasn't going to be the one to mention their names. Solo would demand to know what they had said to her. He would agree with X, she knew he would, and then she would have to turn him down yet again. Despite the fact that she knew X was right. He was always right. But she couldn't see a way to obey him.
"Vika."
Forget her father. Forget the future. She threw herself into his arms. They probably wouldn't be together much longer, and she needed to savor every moment.
He didn't grab hold of her. She felt a vibration, knew he was speaking. "I don't know what you're saying. And honestly? I don't care. If you want me to move away, sorry, because I'm staying right here. Just hold me tight and warn me if you hear anyone coming."
Several moments ticked by before he obeyed.
A sigh of relief left her at the feel of his strength and heat enveloping her. "I vowed to do my best to find that key, and I meant it. I will. But where should I start? What if I fail?"
At the right, she heard a moan.
At the left, she heard a cackle of laughter.
Her nails sank into Solo's chest, as if he was her only anchor in a turbulent storm. Actually, he was. Dr. E and X were still here, listening.
Warm hands cupped her cheeks, a beautiful caress she would remember all the days of her life. He lifted her chin, hope and flickers of what looked to be apprehension peering down at her. "He would keep the key close by, and it might even be something he wears every day. And you won't fail."
"But I've looked through his jewelry."
"Look for secret compartments in his trailer. And if you get into trouble, run. Run, and never look back."
Oh, yes. Apprehension. She could barely process the knowledge. He was putting her needs above his own. Not just for the aid she could render, but for her.
"I can't do that, Solo." No matter what. "I just can't."
His gaze searched her, drilling all the way to her soul. "Then run to me."
She rubbed against his palm, practically purring with the warmth and pleasure of the sensation. "What would you be able to do?" she whispered. She didn't ask to be cruel, but to point out how futile such a thing would be.
Anger suddenly overshadowed the apprehension, but his grip remained gentle. "I'll think of something."
That anger wasn't directed at her, she knew, but at the circumstances. "I don't want to get you into more trouble."
"I can handle trouble."
"And I can't?"
His thumbs stroked, making her shiver. "You've handled too much already. And one day, you're going to tell me everything that's been done to you. One day you'll have the life you deserve."
One day.
Panic bubbled to the surface because she knew, knew, something bad would soon happen. Something bad always happened when those words were voiced. Still, all she said was, "F-fine. I'll come to you. And before you say anything, I vow it."
A speck of color flashed toward the left. The fog was thinning now, she realized. Different parts of the circus were appearing, everything in its place, nothing so much as an inch off. The cage that had become Vika's safe harbor was exactly where it had been left--right in front of Jecis's trailer.
Only the landscape had changed. A single sun shone brightly in a baby blue sky. Rather than hills of soot and ash, with gnarled trees stretching grotesque limbs in every direction, snowcapped mountains painted the area.
"One day, you will--" Solo's ears twitched. The corners of his lips turned down as he jerked his head toward her father's trailer. "He comes."
Swallowing a yelp, Vika jumped away from him.
A second later the door swung open, and Jecis pounded outside. Audra trailed behind him, wearing a lovely golden hat, coat, and boots--all made from One Day's pelt. The bald patches from age and the holes from Jecis's gun had been filled in with another animal's fur, creating the illusion of a healthy lion in the prime of his life.
br /> Anytime Vika saw the outfit, she struggled with the urge to rip Audra's face off.
I will not react.
Solo shifted, as if he meant to leap in front of her. Somehow, he stopped himself.
"Vika," Jecis said, looking her over with . . . a confusing mix of disappointment and relief in his eyes. "You have recovered."
"I have."
"You even appear content." His gaze moved to Solo, and the tension returned. "And you look as if you want to cut my heart out with a rusty spoon and feast."
Solo remained quiet.
"You were gentle with my daughter, weren't you, beast? I bet you even controlled your darker urges, just to impress her."
Again, there was only quiet from Solo.
"You taught her nothing," Jecis shouted, his face turning red. "Nothing! I expected the animal to act like an animal. I expected to find her on her knees, begging me to free her."
Audra backed up a few steps, turned, and raced to the trailer, as if she feared he would focus all of that rage on her. Tremors began to slide down Vika's spine.
"An animal would make her feel the need to beg, yes," Solo finally replied, leaving no doubt he considered Jecis the actual animal.
Jecis popped his jaw.
"Do you want me to beg?" she asked her father, bringing his attention back to her. "I will." For Solo, she might do just about anything.
"Beg? Now?" He spit on the ground. "When it will mean nothing?"
Still. She had to try. With dread churning in her stomach, she said, "Daddy, please release me. Please." She hated the idea of leaving Solo trapped, all alone, to suffer humiliation when the circus kicked off and new humans came to view him. As poorly as he reacted to rejection, it had to be a special kind of torture for him. But she had to. "Please."
Solo placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, a bid for silence.
Her father's eyes nearly bugged from his face, and the red tint returned to his skin, darker now. "How dare you touch her, beast!"
Vika tried to step away, but Solo applied just enough pressure to keep her in place.
"Daddy," she said, desperate. "I . . . we can have dinner tonight. And we can talk. Just like before, when I was little. Remember? And afterward, I'll return to my former duties, if you'll let me."
Jecis inhaled sharply, released the air slowly. Finally he nodded, as if he'd just made a decision. "I will release you, Vika."