Jared and the others were staring at the place where shed disappeared into the brush with wary expressions.
Wheres she going? Jared asked.
I ignored him, closing my eyes and pulling myself together again. It felt like the air was trembling around me, shaking out from me in small waves. I lifted myself up on my hind legs, catching the moment just right so that I was fully upright as I shimmered down into my human self.
Oh, Jared said. Hey, Jake.
Hey, Jared.
Thanks for talking to me.
Yeah.
We want you to come back, man.
Quil whined again.
I dont know if its that easy, Jared.
Come home, he said, leaning forward. Pleading. We can sort this out. You dont belong here. Let Seth and Leah come home, too.
I laughed. Right. Like I havent been begging them to do that from hour one.
Seth snorted behind me.
Jared assessed that, his eyes cautious again. So, what now, then?
I thought that over for a minute while he waited.
I dont know. But Im not sure things could just go back to normal anyway, Jared. I dont know how it worksit doesnt feel like I can just turn this Alpha thing off and on as the mood strikes. It feels sort of permanent.
You still belong with us.
I raised my eyebrows. Two Alphas cant belong in the same place, Jared. Remember how close it got last night? The instinct is too competitive.
So are you all just going to hang out with the parasites for the rest of your lives? he demanded. You dont have a home here. Youre already out of clothes, he pointed out. You gonna stay wolf all the time? You know Leah doesnt like eating that way.
Leah can do whatever she wants when she gets hungry. Shes here by her own choice. Im not telling anyone what to do.
Jared sighed. Sam is sorry about what he did to you.
I nodded. Im not angry anymore.
But?
But Im not coming back, not now. Were going to wait and see how it plays out, too. And were going to watch out for the Cullens for as long as that seems necessary. Because, despite what you think, this isnt just about Bella. Were protecting those who should be protected. And that applies to the Cullens, too. At least a fair number of them, anyway.
Seth yelped softly in agreement.
Jared frowned. I guess theres nothing I can say to you, then.
Not now. Well see how things go.
Jared turned to face Seth, concentrating on him now, separate from me. Sue asked me to tell youno, to beg youto come home. Shes brokenhearted, Seth. All alone. I dont know how you and Leah can do this to her. Abandon her this way, when your dad just barely died
Seth whimpered.
Ease up, Jared, I warned.
Just letting him know how it is.
I snorted. Right. Sue was tougher than anyone I knew. Tougher than my dad, tougher than me. Tough enough to play on her kids sympathies if thats what it took to get them home. But it wasnt fair to work Seth that way. Sues known about this for how many hours now? And most of that time spent with Billy and Old Quil and Sam? Yeah, Im sure shes just perishing of loneliness. Course youre free to go if you want, Seth. You know that.
Seth sniffed.
Then, a second later, he cocked an ear to the north. Leah must be close. Jeez, she was fast. Two beats, and Leah skidded to a stop in the brush a few yards away. She trotted in, taking the point in front of Seth. She kept her nose in the air, very obviously not looking in my direction.
I appreciated that.
Leah? Jared asked.
She met his gaze, her muzzle pulling back a little over her teeth.
Jared didnt seem surprised by her hostility. Leah, you know you dont want to be here.
She snarled at him. I gave her a warning glance she didnt see. Seth whined and nudged her with his shoulder.
Sorry, Jared said. Guess I shouldnt assume. But you dont have any ties to the bloodsuckers.
Leah very deliberately looked at her brother and then at me.
So you want to watch out for Seth, I get that, Jared said. His eyes touched my face and then went back to hers. Probably wondering about that second lookjust like I was. But Jakes not going to let anything happen to him, and hes not afraid to be here. Jared made a face. Anyway, please, Leah. We want you back. Sam wants you back.
Leahs tail twitched.
Sam told me to beg. He told me to literally get down on my knees if I have to. He wants you home, Lee-lee, where you belong.
I saw Leah flinch when Jared used Sams old nickname for her. And then, when he added those last three words, her hackles rose and she was yowling a long stream of snarls through her teeth. I didnt have to be in her head to hear the cussing-out she was giving him, and neither did he. You could almost hear the exact words she was using.
I waited till she was done. Im going to go out on a limb here and say that Leah belongs wherever she wants to be.
Leah growled, but, as she was glaring at Jared, I figured it was in agreement.
Look, Jared, were still family, okay? Well get past the feud, but, until we do, you probably ought to stick to your land. Just so there arent misunderstandings. Nobody wants a family brawl, right? Sam doesnt want that, either, does he?
Of course, not, Jared snapped. Well stick to our land. But where is your land, Jacob? Is it vampire land?
No, Jared. Homeless at the moment. But dont worrythis isnt going to last forever. I had to take a breath. Theres not that much time left. Okay? Then the Cullens will probably go, and Seth and Leah will come home.
Leah and Seth whined together, their noses turning my direction in synchronization.
And what about you, Jake?
Back to the forest, I think. I cant really stick around La Push. Two Alphas means too much tension. Sides, I was headed that way anyway. Before this mess.
What if we need to talk? Jared asked.
Howlbut watch the line, kay? Well come to you. And Sam doesnt need to send so many. We arent looking for a fight.
Jared scowled, but nodded. He didnt like me setting conditions for Sam. See you around, Jake. Or not. He waved halfheartedly.
Wait, Jared. Is Embry okay?
Surprise crossed his face. Embry? Sure, hes fine. Why?
Just wondering why Sam sent Collin.
I watched his reaction, still suspicious that something was going on. I saw knowledge flash in his eyes, but it didnt look like the kind I was expecting.
Thats not really your business anymore, Jake.
Guess not. Just curious.
I saw a twitch from the corner of my eye, but I didnt acknowledge it, because I didnt want to give Quil away. He was reacting to the subject.
Ill let Sam know about your instructions. Goodbye, Jacob.
I sighed. Yeah. Bye, Jared. Hey, tell my dad that Im okay, will you? And that Im sorry, and that I love him.
Ill pass that along.
Thanks.
Cmon, guys, Jared said. He turned away from us, heading out of sight to phase because Leah was here. Paul and Collin were right on his heels, but Quil hesitated. He yelped softly, and I took a step toward him.
Yeah, I miss you, too, bro.
Quil jogged over to me, his head hanging down morosely. I patted his shoulder.
Itll be okay.
He whined.
Tell Embry I miss having you two on my flanks.
He nodded and then pressed his nose to my forehead. Leah snorted. Quil looked up, but not at her. He looked back over his shoulder at where the others had gone.
Yeah, go home, I told him.
Quil yelped again and then took off after the others. Id bet Jared wasnt waiting super-patiently. As soon as he was gone, I pulled the warmth from the center of my body and let it surge through my limbs. In a flash of heat, I was on four legs again.
Thought you were going to make out with him, Leah snickered.
I ignored her.
Was that okay? I asked them. It worried me, spe
aking for them that way, when I couldnt hear exactly what they were thinking. I didnt want to assume anything. I didnt want to be like Jared that way. Did I say anything you didnt want me to? Did I not say something I should have?
You did great, Jake! Seth encouraged.
You could have hit Jared, Leah thought. I wouldnt have minded that.
I guess we know why Embry wasnt allowed to come, Seth thought.
I didnt understand. Not allowed?
Jake, didya see Quil? Hes pretty torn up, right? Id put ten to one that Embrys even more upset. And Embry doesnt have a Claire. Theres no way Quil can just pick up and walk away from La Push. Embry might. So Sams not going to take any chances on him getting convinced to jump ship. He doesnt want our pack any bigger than it is now.
Really? You think? I doubt Embry would mind shredding some Cullens.
But hes your best friend, Jake. He and Quil would rather stand behind you than face you in a fight.
Well, Im glad Sam kept him home, then. This pack is big enough. I sighed. Okay, then. So were good, for now. Seth, you mind keeping an eye on things for a while? Leah and I both need to crash. This felt on the level, but who knows? Maybe it was a distraction.
I wasnt always so paranoid, but I remembered the feel of Sams commitment. The total one-track focus on destroying the danger he saw. Would he take advantage of the fact that he could lie to us now?
No problem! Seth was only too eager to do whatever he could. You want me to explain to the Cullens? Theyre probably still kinda tense.
I got it. I want to check things out anyway.
They caught the whir of images from my fried brain.
Seth whimpered in surprise. Ew.
Leah whipped her head back and forth like she was trying to shake the image out of her mind. That is easily the freakin grossest thing Ive heard in my life. Yuck. If there was anything in my stomach, it would be coming back.
They are vampires, I guess, Seth allowed after a minute, compensating for Leahs reaction. I mean, it makes sense. And if it helps Bella, its a good thing, right?
Both Leah and I stared at him.
What?
Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby, Leah told me.
On his head, apparently.
He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too.
Lead paint?
Looks like it, she thought.
Seth snorted. Funny. Why dont you two shut up and sleep?
14. YOU KNOW THINGS ARE BAD WHEN YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING RUDE TO VAMPIRES
When I got back to the house, there was no one waiting outside for my report. Still on alert?
Everythings cool, I thought tiredly.
My eyes quickly caught a small change in the now-familiar scene. There was a stack of light-colored fabric on the bottom step of the porch. I loped over to investigate. Holding my breath, because the vampire smell stuck to the fabric like you wouldnt believe, I nudged the stack with my nose.
Someone had laid out clothes. Huh. Edward must have caught my moment of irritation as Id bolted out the door. Well. That was nice. And weird.
I took the clothes gingerly between my teethughand carried them back to the trees. Just in case this was some joke by the blond psychopath and I had a bunch of girls stuff here. Bet shed love to see the look on my human face as I stood there naked, holding a sundress.
In the cover of the trees, I dropped the stinking pile and shifted back to human. I shook the clothes out, snapping them against a tree to beat some of the smell from them. They were definitely guys clothestan pants and a white button-down shirt. Neither of them long enough, but they looked like theyd fit around me. Must be Emmetts. I rolled the cuffs up on the shirtsleeves, but there wasnt much I could do about the pants. Oh well.
I had to admit, I felt better with some clothes to my name, even stinky ones that didnt quite fit. It was hard not being able to just jet back home and grab another pair of old sweatpants when I needed them. The homeless thing againnot having anyplace to go back to. No possessions, either, which wasnt bothering me too bad now, but would probably get annoying soon.
Exhausted, I walked slowly up the Cullens porch steps in my fancy new secondhand clothes but hesitated when I got to the door. Did I knock? Stupid, when they knew I was here. I wondered why no one acknowledged thattold me either to come in or get lost. Whatever. I shrugged and let myself in.
More changes. The room had shifted back to normalalmostin the last twenty minutes. The big flat-screen was on, low volume, showing some chick flick that no one seemed to be watching. Carlisle and Esme stood by the back windows, which were open to the river again. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were out of sight, but I heard them murmuring upstairs. Bella was on the couch like yesterday, with just one tube still hooked into her, and an IV hanging behind the back of the sofa. She was wrapped up like a burrito in a couple of thick quilts, so at least theyd listened to me before. Rosalie was cross-legged on the ground by her head. Edward sat at the other end of the couch with Bellas burritoed feet in his lap. He looked up when I came in and smiled at mejust a little twitch of his mouthlike something pleased him.
Bella didnt hear me. She only glanced up when he did, and then she smiled, too. With real energy, her whole face lighting up. I couldnt remember the last time shed looked so excited to see me.
What was with her? For crying out loud, she was married! Happily married, toothere was no question that she was in love with her vampire past the boundaries of sanity. And hugely pregnant, to top it off.
So why did she have to be so damn thrilled to see me? Like Id made her whole freakin day by walking through the door.
If she would just not care Or more than thatreally not want me around. It would be so much easier to stay away.
Edward seemed to be in agreement with my thoughtswe were on the same wavelength so much lately it was crazy. He was frowning now, reading her face while she beamed at me.
They just wanted to talk, I mumbled, my voice dragging with exhaustion. No attack on the horizon.
Yes, Edward answered. I heard most of it.
That woke me up a little. Wed been a good three miles out. How?
Im hearing you more clearlyits a matter of familiarity and concentration. Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when youre in your human form. So I caught most of what passed out there.
Oh. It bugged me a little, but for no good reason, so I shrugged it off. Good. I hate repeating myself.
Id tell you to go get some sleep, Bella said, but my guess is that youre going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so theres probably no point.
It was amazing how much better she sounded, how much stronger she looked. I smelled fresh blood and saw that the cup was in her hands again. How much blood would it take to keep her going? At some point, would they start trotting in the neighbors?
I headed for the door, counting off the seconds for her as I walked. One Mississippi two Mississippi . . .
Wheres the flood, mutt? Rosalie muttered.
You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? I asked without stopping or turning to look at her. Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
I heard Edward chuckle as I pulled the door shut. His mood seemed to improve in exact correlation to Bellas health.
Ive already heard that one, Rosalie called after me.
I trudged down the steps, my only goal to drag myself far enough into the trees that the air would be pure again. I planned to ditch the clothes a convenient distance from the house for future use rather than tying them to my leg, so I wouldnt be smelling them, either. As I fumbled with the buttons on the new shirt, I thought randomly about how buttons would never be in style for werewolves.
I heard the voices while I slogged across the lawn.
Where are you going? Bella asked.
There was something I forgot to say to him.
Let Jacob sleepit can wait.
Yes, please, let Jacob sleep.
It will only take a moment.
I turned
slowly. Edward was already out the door. He had an apology in his expression as he approached me.
Jeez, what now?
Im sorry, he said, and then he hesitated, like he didnt know how to phrase what he was thinking.
Whats on your mind, mind reader?
When you were speaking to Sams delegates earlier, he murmured, I was giving a play-by-play for Carlisle and Esme and the rest. They were concerned
Look, were not dropping our guard. You dont have to believe Sam like we do. Were keeping our eyes open regardless.