The difference between the child Id given birth to and the one Id met again an hour ago would have been obvious to anyone. The difference between Renesmee an hour ago and Renesmee now was subtler. Human eyes never would have detected it. But it was there.
Her body was slightly longer. Just a little bit slimmer. Her face wasnt quite as round; it was more oval by one minute degree. Her ringlets hung a sixteenth of an inch lower down her shoulders. She stretched out helpfully in Rosalies arms while Carlisle ran the tape measure down the length of her and then used it to circle her head. He took no notes; perfect recall.
I was aware that Jacobs arms were crossed as tightly over his chest as Edwards arms were locked around me. His heavy brows were mashed together into one line over his deep-set eyes.
She had matured from a single cell to a normal-sized baby in the course of a few weeks. She looked well on her way to being a toddler just days after her birth. If this rate of growth held
My vampire mind had no trouble with the math.
What do we do? I whispered, horrified.
Edwards arms tightened. He understood exactly what I was asking. I dont know.
Its slowing, Jacob muttered through his teeth.
Well need several more days of measurements to track the trend, Jacob. I cant make any promises.
Yesterday she grew two inches. Today its less.
By a thirty-second of an inch, if my measurements are perfect, Carlisle said quietly.
Be perfect, Doc, Jacob said, making the words almost threatening. Rosalie stiffened.
You know Ill do my best, Carlisle assured him.
Jacob sighed. Guess thats all I can ask.
I felt irritated again, like Jacob was stealing my linesand delivering them all wrong.
Renesmee seemed irritated, too. She started to squirm and then reached her hand imperiously toward Rosalie. Rosalie leaned forward so that Renesmee could touch her face. After a second, Rose sighed.
What does she want? Jacob demanded, taking my line again.
Bella, of course, Rosalie told him, and her words made my insides feel a little warmer. Then she looked at me. How are you?
Worried, I admitted, and Edward squeezed me.
We all are. But thats not what I meant.
Im in control, I promised. Thirstiness was way down the list right now. Besides, Renesmee smelled good in a very non-food way.
Jacob bit his lip but made no move to stop Rosalie as she offered Renesmee to me. Jasper and Edward hovered but allowed it. I could see how tense Rose was, and I wondered how the room felt to Jasper right now. Or was he focusing so hard on me that he couldnt feel the others?
Renesmee reached for me as I reached for her, a blinding smile lighting her face. She fit so easily in my arms, like theyd been shaped just for her. Immediately, she put her hot little hand against my cheek.
Though I was prepared, it still made me gasp to see the memory like a vision in my head. So bright and colorful but also completely transparent.
She was remembering me charging Jacob across the front lawn, remembering Seth leaping between us. Shed seen and heard it all with perfect clarity. It didnt look like me, this graceful predator leaping at her prey like an arrow arcing from a bow. It had to be someone else. That made me feel a very small bit less guilty as Jacob stood there defenselessly with his hands raised in front of him. His hands did not tremble.
Edward chuckled, watching Renesmees thoughts with me. And then we both winced as we heard the crack of Seths bones.
Renesmee smiled her brilliant smile, and her memory eyes did not leave Jacob through all the following mess. I tasted a new flavor to the memorynot exactly protective, more possessiveas she watched Jacob. I got the distinct impression that she was glad Seth had put himself in front of my spring. She didnt want Jacob hurt. He was hers.
Oh, wonderful, I groaned. Perfect.
Its just because he tastes better than the rest of us, Edward assured me, voice stiff with his own annoyance.
I told you she likes me, too, Jacob teased from across the room, his eyes on Renesmee. His joking was halfhearted; the tense angle of his eyebrows had not relaxed.
Renesmee patted my face impatiently, demanding my attention. Another memory: Rosalie pulling a brush gently through each of her curls. It felt nice.
Carlisle and his tape measure, knowing she had to stretch and be still. It was not interesting to her.
It looks like shes going to give you a rundown of everything you missed, Edward commented in my ear.
My nose wrinkled as she dumped the next one on me. The smell coming from a strange metal cuphard enough not to be bitten through easilysent a flash burn through my throat. Ouch.
And then Renesmee was out of my arms, which were pinned behind my back. I didnt struggle with Jasper; I just looked at Edwards frightened face.
What did I do?
Edward looked at Jasper behind me, and then at me again.
But she was remembering being thirsty, Edward muttered, his forehead pressing into lines. She was remembering the taste of human blood.
Jaspers arms pulled mine tighter together. Part of my head noted that this wasnt particularly uncomfortable, let alone painful, as it would have been to a human. It was just annoying. I was sure I could break his hold, but I didnt fight it.
Yes, I agreed. And?
Edward frowned at me for a second more, and then his expression loosened. He laughed once. And nothing at all, it seems. The overreaction is mine this time. Jazz, let her go.
The binding hands disappeared. I reached out for Renesmee as soon as I was free. Edward handed her to me without hesitation.
I cant understand, Jasper said. I cant bear this.
I watched in surprise as Jasper strode out the back door. Leah moved to give him a wide margin of space as he paced to the river and then launched himself over it in one bound.
Renesmee touched my neck, repeating the scene of departure right back, like an instant replay. I could feel the question in her thought, an echo of mine.
I was already over the shock of her odd little gift. It seemed an entirely natural part of her, almost to be expected. Maybe now that I was part of the supernatural myself, I would never be a skeptic again.
But what was wrong with Jasper?
Hell be back, Edward said, whether to me or Renesmee, I wasnt sure. He just needs a moment alone to readjust his perspective on life. There was a grin threatening at the corners of his mouth.
Another human memoryEdward telling me that Jasper would feel better about himself if I had a hard time adjusting to being a vampire. This was in the context of a discussion about how many people I would kill my first newborn year.
Is he mad at me? I asked quietly.
Edwards eyes widened. No. Why would he be?
Whats the matter with him, then?
Hes upset with himself, not you, Bella. Hes worrying about self-fulfilling prophecy, I suppose you could say.
How so? Carlisle asked before I could.
Hes wondering if the newborn madness is really as difficult as weve always thought, or if, with the right focus and attitude, anyone could do as well as Bella. Even nowperhaps he only has such difficulty because he believes its natural and unavoidable. Maybe if he expected more of himself, he would rise to those expectations. Youre making him question a lot of deep-rooted assumptions, Bella.
But thats unfair, Carlisle said. Everyone is different; everyone has their own challenges. Perhaps what Bella is doing goes beyond the natural. Maybe this is her gift, so to speak.
I froze with surprise. Renesmee felt the change, and touched me. She remembered the last second of time and wondered why.
Thats an interesting theory, and quite plausible, Edward said.
For a tiny space, I was disappointed. What? No magic visions, no formidable offensive abilities like, oh, shooting lightning bolts from my eyes or something? Nothing helpful or cool at all?
And then I realized what that might mean, if my superpower wa
s no more than exceptional self-control.
For one thing, at least I had a gift. It could have been nothing.
But, much more than that, if Edward was right, then I could skip right over the part Id feared the very most.
What if I didnt have to be a newborn? Not in the crazed killing-machine sense, anyway. What if I could fit right in with the Cullens from my first day? What if we didnt have to hide out somewhere remote for a year while I grew up? What if, like Carlisle, I never killed a single person? What if I could be a good vampire right away?
I could see Charlie.
I sighed as soon as reality filtered through hope. I couldnt see Charlie right away. The eyes, the voice, the perfected face. What could I possibly say to him; how could I even begin? I was furtively glad that I had some excuses for putting things off for a while; as much as I wanted to find some way to keep Charlie in my life, I was terrified of that first meeting. Seeing his eyes pop as he took in my new face, my new skin. Knowing that he was frightened. Wondering what dark explanation would form in his head.
I was chicken enough to wait for a year while my eyes cooled. And here Id thought I would be so fearless when I was indestructible.
Have you ever seen an equivalent to self-control as a talent? Edward asked Carlisle. Do you really think thats a gift, or just a product of all her preparation?
Carlisle shrugged. Its slightly similar to what Siobhan has always been able to do, though she wouldnt call it a gift.
Siobhan, your friend in that Irish coven? Rosalie asked. I wasnt aware that she did anything special. I thought it was Maggie who was talented in that bunch.
Yes, Siobhan thinks the same. But she has this way of deciding her goals and then almost willing them into reality. She considers it good planning, but Ive always wondered if it was something more. When she included Maggie, for instance. Liam was very territorial, but Siobhan wanted it to work out, and so it did.
Edward, Carlisle, and Rosalie settled into chairs as they continued with the discussion. Jacob sat next to Seth protectively, looking bored. From the way his eyelids drooped, I was sure hed be unconscious momentarily.
I listened, but my attention was divided. Renesmee was still telling me about her day. I held her by the window wall, my arms rocking her automatically as we stared into each others eyes.
I realized that the others had no reason for sitting down. I was perfectly comfortable standing. It was just as restful as stretching out on a bed would be. I knew I would be able to stand like this for a week without moving and I would feel just as relaxed at the end of the seven days as I did at the beginning.
They must sit out of habit. Humans would notice someone standing for hours without ever shifting her weight to a different foot. Even now, I saw Rosalie brush her fingers against her hair and Carlisle cross his legs. Little motions to keep from being too still, too much a vampire. I would have to pay attention to what they did and start practicing.
I rolled my weight back to my left leg. It felt kind of silly.
Maybe they were just trying to give me a little alone time with my babyas alone as was safe.
Renesmee told me about every minute happening of the day, and I got the feeling from the tenor of her little stories that she wanted me to know her every bit as much I wanted the same thing. It worried her that I had missed thingslike the sparrows that had hopped closer and closer when Jacob had held her, both of them very still beside one of the big hemlocks; the birds wouldnt come close to Rosalie. Or the outrageously icky white stuffbaby formulathat Carlisle had put in her cup; it smelled like sour dirt. Or the song Edward had crooned to her that was so perfect Renesmee played it for me twice; I was surprised that I was in the background of that memory, perfectly motionless but looking fairly battered still. I shuddered, remembering that time from my own perspective. The hideous fire
After almost an hourthe others were still deeply absorbed in their discussion, Seth and Jacob snoring in harmony on the couchRenesmees memory stories began to slow. They got slightly blurry around the edges and drifted out of focus before they came to their conclusions. I was about to interrupt Edward in a panicwas there something wrong with her?when her eyelids fluttered and closed. She yawned, her plump pink lips stretching into a round O, and her eyes never reopened.
Her hand fell away from my face as she drifted to sleepthe backs of her eyelids were the pale lavender color of thin clouds before the sunrise. Careful not to disturb her, I lifted that hand back to my skin and held it there curiously. At first there was nothing, and then, after a few minutes, a flickering of colors like a handful of butterflies were scattering from her thoughts.
Mesmerized, I watched her dreams. There was no sense to it. Just colors and shapes and faces. I was pleased by how often my faceboth of my faces, hideous human and glorious immortalcropped up in her unconscious thoughts. More than Edward or Rosalie. I was neck and neck with Jacob; I tried not to let that get to me.
For the first time, I understood how Edward had been able to watch me sleep night after boring night, just to hear me talk in my sleep. I could watch Renesmee dream forever.
The change in Edwards tone caught my attention when he said, Finally, and turned to gaze out the window. It was deep, purply night outside, but I could see just as far as before. Nothing was hidden in the darkness; everything had just changed colors.
Leah, still glowering, got up and slunk into the brush just as Alice came into view on the other side of the river. Alice swung back and forth from a branch like a trapeze artist, toes touching hands, before throwing her body into a graceful flat spin over the river. Esme made a more traditional leap, while Emmett charged right through the water, splashing water so far that splatters hit the back windows. To my surprise, Jasper followed after, his own efficient leap seeming understated, even subtle, after the others.
The huge grin stretching Alices face was familiar in a dim, odd way. Everyone was suddenly smiling at meEsme sweet, Emmett excited, Rosalie a little superior, Carlisle indulgent, and Edward expectant.
Alice skipped into the room ahead of everyone else, her hand stretched out in front of her and impatience making a nearly visible aura around her. In her palm was an everyday brass key with an oversized pink satin bow tied around it.
She held the key out for me, and I automatically gripped Renesmee more securely in my right arm so that I could open my left. Alice dropped the key into it.
Happy birthday! she squealed.
I rolled my eyes. No one starts counting on the actual day of birth, I reminded her. Your first birthday is at the year mark, Alice.
Her grin turned smug. Were not celebrating your vampire birthday. Yet. Its September thirteenth, Bella. Happy nineteenth birthday!
24. SURPRISE
No. No way! I shook my head fiercely and then shot a glance at the smug smile on my seventeen-year-old husbands face. No, this doesnt count. I stopped aging three days ago. I am eighteen forever.
Whatever, Alice said, dismissing my protest with a quick shrug. Were celebrating anyway, so suck it up.
I sighed. There was rarely a point to arguing with Alice.
Her grin got impossibly wider as she read the acquiescence in my eyes.
Are you ready to open your present? Alice sang.
Presents, Edward corrected, and he pulled another keythis one longer and silver with a less gaudy blue bowfrom his pocket.
I struggled to keep from rolling my eyes. I knew immediately what this key was tothe after car. I wondered if I should feel excited. It seemed the vampire conversion hadnt given me any sudden interest in sports cars.
Mine first, Alice said, and then stuck her tongue out, foreseeing his answer.
Mine is closer.
But look at how shes dressed. Alices words were almost a moan. Its been killing me all day. That is clearly the priority.
My eyebrows pulled together as I wondered how a key could get me into new clothes. Had she gotten me a whole trunkful?
I knowIll play you for it, Ali
ce suggested. Rock, paper, scissors.
Jasper chuckled and Edward sighed.
Why you dont you just tell me who wins? Edward said wryly.
Alice beamed. I do. Excellent.
Its probably better that I wait for morning, anyway. Edward smiled crookedly at me and then nodded toward Jacob and Seth, who looked like they were crashed for the night; I wonder how long theyd stayed up this time. I think it might be more fun if Jacob was awake for the big reveal, dont you agree? So that someone there is able to express the right level of enthusiasm?
I grinned back. He knew me well.
Yay, Alice sang. Bella, give NessRenesmee to Rosalie.
Where does she usually sleep?
Alice shrugged. In Roses arms. Or Jacobs. Or Esmes. You get the picture. She has never been set down in her entire life. Shes going to be the most spoiled half-vampire in existence.
Edward laughed while Rosalie took Renesmee expertly in her arms. She is also the most unspoiled half-vampire in existence, Rosalie said. The beauty of being one of a kind.