“You should go see her,” I said one day after we had fed. We were both naked and lying on top of a fallen tree in the middle of a secluded clearing. I didn't even remember what state we were in.
“See who?”
“Ava.”
“Why?”
“Because you love her.”
“I don't love her. I could love her. There is a difference, Brooke.”
“Still. You should go see her.”
Ivan got to his feet, on his guard. I smelled it a second after he did. There was another noctalis here.
“Who is it?” I said.
“My brother. Go downwind three miles and stay there. I have to run to meet him so he won't smell you. I will tell you when you can come back.”
“The one who loves Ava?” I asked.
“Go. Don't ask questions.” Ivan never gave me orders, so I knew it was important. The brother could not hurt me, but there was some reason Ivan did not want him to know about me. I would have to find out.
I ran exactly three miles downwind from him, making sure my scent wouldn't blow toward them. I had to keep moving as the wind shifted, but I treated it as a game. It was only ten minutes later when Ivan found me.
“Good job, Brooke. You are very good at hiding. I thought he would smell you, but he didn't.”
“Was that the brother who is with Ava?”
“No. This was Viktor. My other brother, Peter, is with Ava.”
“Are you close?” I thought I knew the answer.
“No.” He kept looking at the woods, as if he heard something I could not.
“What is it?”
“I have to go.”
I was confused. “Go where?”
“To Maine. To see Ava. My mother, Di, is intent on destroying her.” He reached out and broke a tree in anger. I had never seen him upset. I didn’t really understand it. I didn't get upset anymore.
“How can you help?”
“It is complicated and a story that would take too long to tell. I can't let anything happen to her, lover.”
“Why?”
He looked over his shoulder, as if he wanted to be gone already. “That is another long story, Brooke.”
“Can I come with you?”
“No. You will stay here.”
“Why?”
His eyes narrowed and his human form rippled into his noctalis form for a moment. “Why do you have to ask so many questions? Just do what I tell you, love. It will be so much easier.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
I did not want him to leave me. I had not been scared since I became immortal, but thinking about not being with him gave me a feeling I did not like. It was unpleasant and I wanted it to go away.
“Brooke, I will be back in a day. I want you to be safe. Will you stay here and be safe? Can you promise me that?” I would just promise him and then follow him. That seemed easy enough.
“I promise.” The air around us jolted with something, and my hair moved with it. It was like something invisible had settled over my skin. I looked down, but didn't see anything. The sensation was gone as soon as I felt it.
“Thank you. I will leave now. Take care, love. Remember to feed.”
He kissed my cheek and that was the last time I saw him.
Twenty-Five
Peter
The next day Claire is too sick to leave her bed, and Sam takes her to the doctor's. Ava goes to school, but her thoughts are distracted all day. She didn't want to go, but Claire begs her to.
“How can I say no to her?” she says, trying to hide her red eyes under lots of eye makeup. “I just... I'm just so scared. This wasn't supposed to happen now. It was supposed to happen months from now. Not now,” she says, trying to get her emotions under control. I send her as much positive energy as I can, but it isn't much, because her despair is so heavy over both of us. It weighs us down like a chain, dragging us down. “And what about Helena and Brooke? They're going to find Di and what if they bring her back? What will we do —” I put my finger to her lips to stop her verbal torrent. Her thoughts are rushing like a river that I wish I could dam.
“I will be with you. Every second.”
“I wish that made me feel better.” She instantly feels guilt for saying it, afraid I would be offended. I am not.
“I wish it, too.” I wish it more than anything else.
I stay as close to the school building as I can, lying low under windows and up against walls. When she has classes on the top floors of buildings, I go there as well. I follow her as close as I can without going inside. Her thoughts come to me, scattered, scared, lost. I have been able to read her mind almost completely the entire day. I haven't told her. She is not doing well. Her heart races and slows in a way that worries me. The stress is starting to take a toll on her body. I keep watch on her body rhythms, making sure that she doesn't have a panic attack or something worse.
She runs out of the school building at lunch and I grab her arm, pulling her into my chest. She doesn't say anything, and I don't either. I hold her until she takes a deep breath, her entire body shaking.
“She's been admitted, but I don't know anything else. I've texted Dad, but he hasn't messaged me back. I don't know what to do.”
“No news is good news,” I say, using a phrase I picked up recently.
“I want to kill every single one of them. It's so hard not to. I just want them all to die.” I know. I've seen the images in her head of blood, death and fire. They do not disturb me, but they do her. I wish I could push them away and give her beautiful images of mountains, beaches and sunshine.
“I wish I had something better to say. We will see her this afternoon.” She nods against my chest.
“Are you okay?” Texas is right behind us with Viktor. Ava hasn't told her about her mother yet.
“My mom's not doing well. I just don't know what to do.”
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“She asked me to go to school. How could I say no?”
Texas looks at Ava, as if she wants to say something. I catch Viktor's eye, but he is concentrating on Texas. She swallows and reconsiders.
“There are some times when you have to listen to your parents. When they tell you go to bed or eat your vegetables or not try to do gymnastics on the couch because you'll break your grandmother's lamp that she brought all the way from her honeymoon in Europe, you listen. This is not one of those times. If it was my mother, I'd be there. I know she and I don't get along that well, but she's my mom and I love her. We don't have half the connection you guys do. So get your ass to that hospital right now. I don't want to see your face back here. Go.” She points to the parking lot.
For a moment, Ava imagines breaking Texas' neck, but then she dives at her, giving her a crushing hug. “I love you, Texas Sarsaparilla Anne Hamilton. I freaking love you. Keep an eye on Jamie.”
“I know. I love you, too. Tell Claire I said hi and get better. Viktor and I will take care of Jamie.”
Ava grabs my hand and marches to her car, resolved.
“I don't know why it took someone else to tell me it's okay for it to be okay. I shouldn't need Tex to tell me that. I should be ballsy enough to do it on my own. I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I don't know this girl I've become.” She starts the car and pulls out of the lot without looking back.
“I do. She's the exact same girl that met me in the cemetery that night and kept coming back even though I told her I would kill her. She's the girl I adore. She's you.”
“You always say the right thing. I think you come up with this stuff ahead of time and then whip it out when I need it. I love you.” She's said it several times today.
She breaks a few driving laws getting to the hospital, but there are no police around. I take her hand as we walk into the hospital.
“I have no idea where she'd be. Last time she came she was in the ER, but they've probably moved her to a room by now.”
She goes up to the des
k and asks for her mother's room.
“Are you Ava?” the young nurse in yellow scrubs asks.
“Yes. Could you tell me where she is?”
“Sure, sweetheart. She's in room 203. Just down the hall and hang a left,” she says, pointing.
“Thank you,” Ava says, rushing down the hallway to the room. She pauses for a second outside the door and takes a deep breath. I try to let go of her hand, but she won't let me.
“I need you,” she says, so we walk in the room together. Claire is propped on a hospital bed, her eyes closed, and a heart monitor softly beeping next to her. There is an IV in her arm as well and oxygen line in her nose.
“Ava? What are you doing here?” Sam is slumped over in a chair, his head resting on one of his hands.
“I had to come and see her,” she says, her chin rising in anticipation of his disapproval. He rubs his eyes, trying to become fully awake. He looks at Claire before turning his attention back to Ava.
“I'm not happy, but I understand. I knew you'd be here by the end of the day. Do you need a note?”
“No, I already forged one,” Ava says, her tension easing the tiniest bit.
“Clever girl,” Sam says with a brief smile. “Looks like you're a partner in crime, Peter.”
“Your daughter can be very persuasive,” I say. Sam chuckles.
“She can. So can her mother.” He brushes Claire's arm.
“How is she?” Ava asks.
“Looks like she had a cold that's turned into pneumonia. They've got her on antibiotics and we'll see. They want to keep her here.” I get out the only other available chair for Ava and stand next to it.
“Do you want to sit, Peter? I'm sure they can get another chair.”
“I'm fine, thank you.” The hum of the hospital is loud to me. I am not used to it. In addition, I get every single thought from Ava's head. There is a lot of noise that I want to quiet, but I will put up with it for her.
Nurses rush to and fro, their soft shoes barely making any noise on the linoleum. One pauses in the doorway and comes in, first pumping hand sanitizer into her palms.
“How are we doing? Well, this must be Ava.” The woman is thirtyish, slim and has a warm smile. Her blood smells warm and full. Healthy.
“Hi,” Ava says.
“I'm Jenna, your mom's day nurse. And who is this handsome young man?”
“This is Peter,” Ava says, but in her head she's laughing at the woman calling me a young man.
“Well, well,” Jenna says, moving to the machinery hooked up to Claire. We did not have the medical technology they have now when I was alive. It is a marvel what humans are able to accomplish. I am astonished by it all the time.
She wakes Claire by gently rubbing her shoulder.
“Wake up, darling. Just gotta check your vitals.” Claire rouses slowly, pulling at the oxygen tube.
“Whoa, don't mess with that,” Jenna says, taking her hands away. Claire's eyes open and she looks startled for a moment. Like a child.
“What? Oh, Ava. What time is it?”
“It's twelve-thirty sleeping beauty. Can you go ahead and lift that arm for me?” Claire lifts her arm and Jenna starts to take her blood pressure.
“You should be in school.”
“There are some things that are more important than school. Besides, I'm almost done.”
“I should be a mean mommy and make you go back.”
“But you're not going to,” Ava finishes, and Jenna laughs.
“I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Your mother is just as stubborn. She put up quite a fuss about getting this IV in.”
Claire blushes, and for a second, I see Ava's face on hers. They are so much alike.
“Looks good. I'll be back in a few hours, okay? Your lunch should be here soon, too.”
“I'm not hungry,” Claire says.
“Well, see how you feel. Nice to meet you, Ava and Peter.”
“Nice to meet you,” Ava says, although she doesn't feel that it is nice at all.
“Do you need a chair, handsome?” she says with a wink.
“I am fine.”
“Such a gentleman,” she says, touching my arm. Jenna is not put off by me at all and smiles at me as if I was a human boy giving my girlfriend my support as her mother battles cancer. Her energy is warm and giving. Infectious.
Jenna leaves and returns with a chair for me, which I take from her and sit, thanking her before she leaves.
Claire tries to sit up, but her arms are so weak that she can't, so Sam helps her.
“I hate that you're all taking care of me.”
“Don't be ridiculous, Claire. That's what we're here for. You have to stop trying to do so much,” Sam says, brushing her balding head. He smiles at her as if she's his whole world. I wish I could smile at Ava the same way.
“I just hate to be a burden.”
“You can't love a burden. And you're much too cute to be a burden.” Sam kisses her head and she sighs, but it turns into a cough.
Ava grips my hand tightly, her heart racing. I pump as much calm as I can muster. I shut everything else out but her and push her worries and negative feelings away. I think of sunlight, laughing with her and every good moment we've had so far together.
Her body relaxes just a bit and she lies back in the chair. Sam yawns, his jaw cracking with the effort.
“I think I'm going to get some coffee. Does anyone need anything?” Ava shakes her head and I respond that I am fine. Sam gives Claire a wink before leaving the room, pulling the sliding curtain behind him.
“I don't know what I did to deserve the two of you, but whatever lottery I won, I'm glad I did.” Ava gives her a light hug, trying not to jostle any of the tubes. “Come on up here, I can make room. You don't mind, do you, Peter?”
“Not at all.” I've never had so many people concerned with how I feel about things. It is both strange and pleasing.
Claire scoots over and Ava climbs into the bed next to her on the opposite side of all the tubes and equipment. Ava lays her head on Claire's shoulder and closes her eyes. She's thinking that this can't be it. This can't be the end. That there should be more time. That it isn't fair. That she isn’t going to be strong enough. That she will break into a million little pieces that will blow away in the wind. I steal Sam's chair so I can sit next to her with my hand on her ankle so I can touch her skin.
“You'd better be careful with that hand when my husband gets back. I might not take exception to it, but he will.”
“Mom, he's touching my ankle. I'm pretty sure no one has ever gotten pregnant from that.”
Claire sighs, coughing again. “True.” She lies with Ava for a while. Sam takes his time getting coffee, giving them time. I stay still, trying to blend into the furniture.
“I still know you're there,” Ava says, turning her head toward me. “I don't know how I know that. I could just feel you thinking it.”
“Now you're reading my mind.”
“Maybe. Maybe I just know you really well.”
“That's what love is,” Claire says.
Sam walks in a moment later with a Styrofoam cup and a muffin.
“This was all I could find in the kitchen, but if you want, I can go down to the cafe later and get you something else.”
“No, it's fine.”
Ava takes the muffin and though she doesn't want to eat it, she starts pulling off the top and tearing it into little pieces. Ava always tears her muffins apart before eating them. So many little things to adore about her.
Sam takes a sip of coffee. He takes his black, and the coffee is so old that it is quite potent. He winces before swallowing. “I was thinking that it seems foolish for you to stay in school for the rest of the year. It's only, what? Threeish weeks?”
“Yeah.”
“Exactly. You're not going to miss anything if you get out now. You've finished your exams, right?”
She hasn't, but she says, “Pretty much.” She sends a mental
plea for my help and I squeeze her ankle in response. I can forge her writing on anything if need be. I also write faster than she does.
“You'll have plenty of time for school later.”
Ava is shocked by his change of attitude. She is also scared by it. If he is willing to let her stop going to school, it means that Claire is really sick. She wants to ask how bad it is and get a real answer, but she doesn't want to do it in front of Claire.
“Exactly,” Ava says, snuggling closer to Claire. “Exactly.
Ava
As soon as I can, I find a bathroom to throw up in. I remember back when they told me she was terminal and I threw up. That was the same night I met Peter. This time when I throw up, he holds my hair. I'm adding that to the Peter Love list.
“Sorry,” I say out of habit. I seem to be apologizing for anything and everything lately. I'm just such a mess and I'm mad at myself for making him spend so much damn time with me. The Claiming is a burden. I am a burden.
“You're not,” he says, wetting a paper towel and wiping my forehead. I'm so upset and stressed that he's getting all my thoughts clear as a bell. It's such small potatoes at this point that I don't even give a shit.
He helps me to my feet and hands me a glass of water. We're in the handicap bathroom down the hall from Mom's room. We've been here for hours, and soon Dad's going to make me go home. I don't want to leave her.
“I can get you here in four minutes, if need be. Just think of that,” he says, wiping the back of my neck with the cool towel. He follows it with his lips, which are just as nice.
“I just want to go away. Go somewhere else.”
“I know. I would take you anywhere you wanted to go, but she needs you. Your father needs you.”
“I know, I know.” My stomach hurts, my head hurts and my heart hurts, but I know deep down that I'm whining and being a snotty teenager. I need to suck it up. I roll my shoulders back, take a deep breath and swish my mouth out.