holding heaven in his arms.
"You taste wonderful, like drugging wine for my soul," he whispered.
He felt her fingers brush over his cheeks, then over his shoulders. He felt her lips respond, moving of their own accord across the widened seam of his mouth. She was kissing back softly, sleepily, brushing the petals of her lips against rough skin.
"Indri?" she murmured, trailing one hand down to cover his heart.
Tilula's faint, trusting voice made him pause. He raised his head and looked down, and realized that Tilula was already half-asleep in his arms. And he cursed himself for using her vulnerability to fulfill his own wishes. He carefully returned Tilula's head on her pillow, and tucked the covers under her chin.
"I shan't harm you. But I wish to stay here. Just a while longer?" he asked carefully. He wanted to run away and hide his feelings, and hope Tilula would think all that had happened was a dream. At the same time he wanted to stay and look upon her peaceful face. He wanted more time to gaze at her, at the unbelievable beauty of her body and soul.
Tilula furrowed her brow and, with increment yawns, gave Indri her warning. "This is dangerous ground we are treading, Indri. Very dangerous. What would my father say?"
"Your father holds no part in this-"
"No? Much as we wish it, we must never put a name to this? this web we are spinning around us," Tilula said softly. She would have put more force into her voice, if not for the sleepiness that had taken over. "It may cocoon us inside 'til we can't get out, and then where would we be?"
Indri sighed. The woman was right. There was no place for him in Tilula's world. Tilula may be able to live in his mansion for years to come, but he had no wish to part her from the world outside the forest. The world that had honed her to become the woman she was now. It was not fair to steal her away from the village that raised her and the family that loved her. "You are right. What we've made in this dwelling will die outside the forest realm. 'Tis better we steer clear of dangerous waters, eh?"
"Indri?"
Her eyes closed then, and Indri finally got up form where he was sitting. He let the bed curtains fall, hiding Tilula from his sight with its translucent material. He walked to the door and, just before closing it behind him, declared the secret he kept hidden in his heart.
"Were I only one of your kind, dear heart, I would not hesitate to make us more than friends."
He left the room, and all the sprites that had been secretly watching from the window sighed with sadness. Their master's heart was troubled, and so were theirs.
--
Several more days passed, but Indri did not care. He hid in his room, took his breakfast earlier than usual, and went off into the woods to hunt on most afternoons. All because he would not dare see Tilula again.
It was so hard to love someone you were not allowed to. It was so hard to be something no other person could accept. Perhaps if he'd been born a handsome man, with a heart of beautiful red blood beating in his chest, he would be able to go wherever and whenever he pleased. He could venture outside of the forest and see Tilula, and never have to care if anybody questioned the feelings between them.
But he was born with a heart of black and the face of nightmares, and he absolutely refused to drag Tilula into the scrutiny of the public eye. On the other hand, if it weren't for his ugliness and his desire to escape the outside world, he wouldn't have met Tilula in the first place.
However, it would be hard to go on living like he had before, without Tilula. He would once again, after the full moon, be alone. He would dine in the hall with no one, read his books without anybody else there, and walk about the gardens unaccompanied.
Like he was doing now.
Indri wearily made his way past the shrubs and rosebushes along the path, turning here, turning there. He was bored, yet too afraid of what would happen if he went to Tilula again. But he found out that he had no choice, for the path he had taken ultimately led to where Tilula was anyway.
She was sitting on an old stump, head bent low. And though her face was hidden from his view, the sniffles Indri heard from where she was indicated that she was crying.
"Dear girl, why are you crying?" Indri asked. His resolve to stay out of Tilula's way until that night quickly vanished in the face of her sorrow.
Tilula looked at him then. And when he saw how miserable she looked, he opened his arms for her.
Relief came over Tilula when Indri did that. She quickly came into his embrace and stayed there. The shaking of her body eased when she was finally able to feel Indri's arms wrap around her. She closed her eyes and burrowed into him, and for the first time admitted to herself that she felt more for Indri than she did any other man.
"Indri?" she said. "I feel so alone. I can't bear it. Day in and day out, I have only the flowers and the sprites to keep me company. But the sprites can't talk, and the flowers merely nod their heads in the breeze. I hate it! I hate it so much!"
"Forgive me, little flower. I sought only to control myself so I might not alarm you. And in doing so, I've brought such unhappiness to your beautiful face. Forgive me." Indri cupped her cheeks and raised her face to his. There he found what he'd been waiting for all his life. Love shone from Tilula's eyes, the kind that did not judge. It warmed his heart, black as it was.
Tilula laughed, for she too saw a most yearned for expression in Indri's eyes. She always wanted to be wanted, if that made any sense. Indri wanted her. Indri needed her. And she needed him too. "There is nothing to forgive. We have been foolish, the two of us. Now here we are, wanting to deny each other's embrace and yet clinging to it desperately. What do you make of it?"
"I don't know. I'm certain of one thing." Indri bent his head and took her lips with his own. It was a soft, quick kiss, but one he would treasure always. "I've never felt this way before, and I loathe letting it go."
"Me neither," Tilula replied. "What do we do?"
She dreaded parting from him. And she dreaded even more the scrutiny they would be under if ever they chose to stay together. She did not want to leave him here. But at the same time she did not want to forsake her family just so she could choose her own happiness.
"We've only a few hours before the moon rises," Indri observed. His words caused Tilula to move closer towards him, and he tightened his arms about her.
"Don't even remind me about it. Indri, about what you said the other day?"
"Yes?"
Tilula blushed. She'd never asked anyone such a personal favor before. "You wished to - hold me. I - wish to do the same - today."
"Are you certain?" Indri looked into her eyes, and Tilula had never been more certain. They were to part soon. This was her last chance to be with Indri, before she buried her feelings for him deep down inside.
"Might we find a place to sit on, and watch the leaves as they fall from the trees?" she asked. And she prayed that Indri would agree. For right now, she wanted to be with him.
Someday, her father would allow men to court her. Someday, her husband would be selected from one of those suitors. And someday, she would be the wife of some young merchant with vast holdings and a prominent name. He would go off on caravans and journeys and she would be left to think back on the moment she'd found true love. With Indri.
"I know of just the place," Indri said serenely. Just as she guessed, Indri led her past the gardens, through the orchards and into the maze. They sat on one of the benches in front of the spring. Indri drew her to his side, and Tilula cuddled there until she fell asleep.
She only awoke when Indri's gentle strokes on her hair penetrated her peaceful sleep.
"It's time, Tilula." Indri whispered into the night.
"No! It can't be!" But it was, for she saw the full moon high above her when she lifted her eyes to the dark evening. "Indri, I don't want to leave you here."
"I must stay." Indri stood up, and drew her up with him. "And you have to go. I promised to keep you only until the full moon. Your father will be worried."
A
searing pain shot through Tilula's heart. She was to part from Indri forever, and the love she'd found was to be kept a secret for all time. "All right."
"The path there leads toward the gardens, and further along to the front gate. I will have my sprites light the way for you."
"You're not seeing me out?" she asked.
"I do not have the strength to see you leave me. Even now, I will look away as you approach the hedge."
"I guess this is farewell?"
"I guess so." Indri gave her one last kiss on the cheek, and stepped back. He blended with the shadows of the night.
Tears ran down Tilula's face as she turned away from him. Indri wanted to reach for her, to wipe those tears from her face with his webbed fingers. But he could not. He must not. With grief in his heart, he watched as Tilula was approached by one of his sprites and escorted out of his sight. Out of his life.
Indri moaned and, when grief fully gripped his heart, made his way back to the mansion. There he lit no lamp or illumined no room, for he wanted to be enshrouded with darkness. He wanted to hide from the world, that it may not see the tears he was shedding for his lost love.
"Mother, I am alone more than ever. I have lost the only precious jewel that has ever adorned my house, the only flower I wish to nourish the rest of my life. I will not live long, I think. My grief in losing Tilula will be more than any magical water can cure." He lamented as he came into the parlor close to the balcony, where he knew her mother was