Royce clearly understood. ‘The sacrifices we artists make, eh? I must admit, I tend to abstain if I’m filming. Can’t have anything affecting the timbre of the V.O.’
‘That’s ‘voice-over’,’ Selena explained to Finn, in the style of an aide to the terminally stupid. ‘Telly folk. They speak a different language.’
Royce noisily snorted a spoonful of cocaine before reloading and passing it to Selena. Once she had taken her fill, she offered the spoon to Finn. He looked to Blaine, appealing for a reprieve, but the subtlest of nods from her meant that yet another chemical began to surge its way around his already overloaded system.
I had never seen anyone take cocaine and not become a self-obsessed arse. Royce was already there to begin with, so with pharmaceutical assistance he became an absolute beast. I was no longer needed for conversation: I was reduced to a pair of tits for him to leer at, and a pair of ears to be filled with an extended version of the glorious career of Royce Garvey, as the tortuous meal progressed.
By the time Henry served icy, sharp gazpacho - chosen to fit in with the strict demands of Selena’s diet - I knew about his infancy as a childhood prodigy; his glorious years at Oxford and his internationally applauded PhD; local, tender lamb with wild herbs was accompanied by the tale of the natural progression into television: apparently unavoidable for one with such a magnetic personality as his. Although I set my body language to ‘enthralled’ and nodded in all the right places, the only thing that held my attention was Selena as she began to move in on Finn.
It started with acrylic-tipped fingers casually moving from the table top to his thigh. At first it was done so softly that it could be dismissed as accidental if she was spotted, but as Royce droned on, oblivious to anyone but himself, she became more brazen. As I was tutored at length about the influence of Greco-Roman art on modern erotica she began to knead at his leg with fingers that were well-practiced in arousal. She even kicked off a diamantéd sandal and began to play scarlet-painted toes against his calf, as Blaine looked on. It was only when Finn finally brought his own hand down to rest in the small of Selena’s back that I forced myself to look away and feign an even deeper interest in the endless problems of filming with an Italian crew.
Royce didn’t stop to draw breath until dessert, and only pure greed at the stack of virginal meringues and fresh raspberries broke his stride. As he stacked his bowl so that juice overflowed and spilled like blood onto the white linen, Blaine decided to bring Selena into the conversation.
‘I am just desperate to know,’ she began, and Selena’s hand snapped away from Finn’s fly button as if she had been stung, ‘how did the pair of you happen to meet?’
‘Er... I... What? ’ came Selena’s guilty, blustering response, and Royce gave her a reassuring, indulgent smile.
‘Carry on, my darling – as Lady Albermarle so beautifully explained, we are in a place where excuses are not required.’
Selena, not entirely convinced, kept her hands to herself whilst she told her anecdote, although her toes continued to slide around Finn’s leg. ‘It was just one of those things, really – I was PA to Colin Prendergast: he’s Head of Children’s Programming for Alpha Television – and Roycie had come in to discuss a history series for young people. Roycie’s very big on encouraging young people, you know.’
‘Such public spirit.’
Royce’s chest expanded just a little more.
‘Anyway,’ Selena continued, ‘I simply thought he was the most interesting, different man I’d ever met, and then on his way out of the meeting Roycie invited me out to lunch, and well, over a bottle or two of champers, let’s just say we found we had one or two rather... adult interests in common.’ She glanced at her fiancé with a coy smile.
‘Really?’ Blaine asked, genuinely interested. ‘Would you care to elaborate? It’s been so long since we’ve had the opportunity for candid conversation like this.’
Royce cleared his throat as a clue that he wanted to continue the tale, and Selena’s hand swiftly returned to its exploration of Finn’s genitalia.
‘In that case, Blaine, Lilith, er... Flynn, was it? Allow me to be frank. We – that is, Selena and I – like to refer to it as the, er, the ‘dark side’ – you know, that primal facet of our sexual selves that we seem to have obscured in sanitised contemporary society.’ Royce Garvey was back on the lecture circuit, with the added bonus of a cocaine-induced sense of his own brilliance. I wondered what the hell people saw in his documentaries, aside from a cure for insomnia. ‘We are, after all, simply a higher order of predatory mammal – and we need to remember that our, er, congress, for want of a better word, is inextricably linked with violence – a need to dominate, to defeat before we, in essence, violate our object of desire.’
Finally. Behind all that overblown, pseudo-scientific pontification, they were a couple of desperate sadists in search of somewhere to act out their grubby, brutal fantasies.
Somewhere like Albermarle Hall.
Across the table, Selena’s birthday surprise blankly rolled a dessert fork between his fingers as a cigarette substitute whilst the vice around my chest tightened and I scrabbled through my clutch bag for my inhaler.
‘Are you all right, Lilith?’ Royce asked, more out of worry that his audience had deserted him than any real concern for my health.
‘A touch of asthma,’ Blaine explained breezily. ‘Is the weather affecting you, Lilith?’
‘A little.’
‘Perhaps you might allow me to massage your chest?’ Royce suggested.
I squirted two shots of salbutamol down my throat. ‘I’ll be fine now, thank you.’
‘Pity,’ Royce leered, and I forced myself not to shudder as unbidden, he began to give my shoulders a compensatory rub. ‘There. Is that better? Selena always says I have magic fingers.’
Finn
The fat, ugly, dirty fucker. He didn’t even deserve to sit within a mile of Lilith, never mind touch her with those filthy hands. I could have had his head through the patio doors in two seconds flat, but right now I had other problems to deal with.
The bloody woman I was due to shag hadn’t stopped in her quest once in the last half-hour. If Selena Clarke thought she was going to give me a hard-on with her constant pawing at my cock through my trousers, she was going to be sadly disappointed. That kind of thing had been strictly artificially induced for the last three years.
My coke-wired heart began to pound. I shut my eyes for a moment and tried to imagine myself out of the room, sitting on the most secluded shore on the island with Bran at my side. Instead of tranquil water and sunlight I saw only Lilith’s trapped and defeated face. I reached into my breast pocket for the next three temazepam I’d secreted there, slipping them into my cheek as I raised my hand to cough.
Royce pushed a small plastic bag into the centre of the table. ‘Anyone else care for an ‘E’?’
‘I’m fine, thank you,’ Blaine said as Selena helped herself. ‘But I’m sure Finn wouldn’t say no.’
‘Sure. Whatever.’ I avoided Lilith’s look of horror as I necked a tab. Part of me was actually quite curious now as to what would happen when all the chemicals in my bloodstream met. I supposed spontaneous combustion was out of the question, but I lived in hope.
Selena watched me closely. ‘You must have quite an appetite.’ As I hadn’t actually eaten anything yet, I guessed at what she was insinuating.
And naturally, so did Blaine.‘Oh, he does. For all sorts of things.’ As Selena gave a nervous smile, my employer moved in. ‘You rather like my Finn, don’t you?’
‘I... no, I mean yes, obviously, but...’ Selena wittered, and looked at Royce for assistance out of the pit she was digging. ‘Sweetie, I wasn’t doing anything...’
The slug in a suit simply gave a tolerant, paternal smirk in response. ‘So, d’you think it’s time we put her out of her misery, Blaine?’ he asked.
Blaine casually topped up her wine glass. ‘Whenever you think is appropriate. It
is your night, after all.’
‘Roycie, what’s going on? I don’t like being kept out of things, you know that,’ Selena whined.
I thought he was about to explode with smug anticipation. ‘Happy birthday, my love,’ he beamed.
‘What? I don’t understand – is there a present? Where is it? What do you mean, ‘Happy birthday?’’
Royce chuckled with amusement. He’d have been looking forward to this from the moment he sent off his cheque to Albermarle Executive Leisure Services. ‘Do you remember that little talk we once had, about ,er, what one might do if society’s restraints were lifted, as it were?’
By the bovine expression on her face, Selena evidently didn’t remember at all, but with the amount of drugs and alcohol she’d vacuumed up in the last hour, I reckoned she’d be pushed to recall her shoe-size right at this moment.
Her adoring fiancé gave an indulgent chuckle. ‘About what might happen if, theoretically, we managed to find someone of sufficient, er, broad-mindedness – stamina, even – to indulge in a certain scenario? Yes?’ He nodded in my direction to indicate beyond doubt that I was indeed that lucky ‘someone.’
‘Oh!’ That did the trick. Serena’s eyes opened wide in shock and delight. ‘Oh my God Roycie, you mean...’ She looked to Blaine for confirmation, and our hostess gave a gracious smile.
‘Royce thought you both might like him to play with for a while. By your response, I’d say he made a good choice?’
‘We have all night,’ Royce revelled in the moment. ‘I even packed our, ehm, special bag.’
It was detail like that that made me glad I had a habit of industrial proportions. I made myself turn to Selena with the most welcoming expression I could find. ‘So, there you have it. Anything you want: the only real limit’s your imagination.’
I imagined that last statement on the brochure, or perhaps a staff t-shirt. Then I imagined it tattooed across my arse and I had to gulp down Selena’s full glass of Dom Perignon to stop the laughter that threatened to explode from me.
I could feel Lilith staring, but right now she was the last person on the planet I wanted to see.
Lilith
Selena picked up the glass that Finn had just emptied and ran a finger around its rim before lifting it to her tongue, as though she could pick up his taste from whatever trace he had left behind. ‘Well, this certainly beats the perfume and flowers I got last year.’
Royce chortled with unbounded delight. Her hand came back down to rest on top of Finn’s, and this time it blatantly remained there. From time to time, Finn would run his thumb across her fingers in pre-programmed, robotic flirtation.
From there on, the evening became a competitive bacchanal between Royce and Selena, who was desperate to make up for the precious time she had already lost through pretending to be halfway respectable. Royce’s anecdotes about ancient tortures and botched executions were matched or bettered by Selena’s own contributions about the men she had screwed in a succession of sado-masochistic clichés before she had finally found her Roycie. Any pretence at sophistication was destroyed by flagrant, cheap lust, fuelled by more drugs than I had ever seen taken in one session.
With coffee, more coke was passed around the table, and the happy couple both took a Viagra with their fourth brandy. Words became slurred and some tales remained half-finished while others were repeated three or four times, and when Selena began to describe – yet again – how Royce had told her all about the Roman Emperors who used to use wild animals to fuck prisoners to death for entertainment, I knew I had to get out of the room for some untainted air before I vomited over the tablecloth.
*****
I stood at the open front door and slowly inhaled to the count of ten. The humid, pollen-thick air did little to ease the restriction, but at least I could actually still breathe. The only fight I could win tonight.
I heard the dining room door open behind me, and hoped it wasn’t Royce about to offer his ‘assistance’ once again. The scratch of a lighter told me it was Finn.
‘Hope you enjoy the rest of your evening, Ms Bresson,’ he called out. ‘M’afraid I’ve got to make my excuses an’ all that – boss’s orders.’
I filled my lungs one last time, then turned to face him. ‘Finn, wait...’
He leaned against the wall and glowered at me. ‘What? Better not take too long - got to get ready for a busy night at the office, if y’know what I mean.’
The catch in his speech should have told me. He was already more loaded than I had ever seen him. Foolishly, I still moved to his side.
‘Shit, Finn! How much have you taken?’
‘Dunno. Half a dozen of the usual?’ he lied. ‘Couple more, mebbe. None of your fuckin’ business, I know that. Enough to get through screwin’ that bitch and keep smiling. Enough to sit there and watch you verbally fuck the pair of them.’
I let that one go. ‘Be careful, please, Finn.’ I touched him on the arm, aiming for neutral ground but for Finn, doped and edgy, it was too much.
‘Get off me. What are you? My fucking counsellor? My pimp? Piss off, Lili. Back to your party for a nightcap and a good laugh about the rough trade that’s about to get shafted.’
‘It’s not like that. You know it’s not. There’s something about them – a cruelty -’
‘Will you shut up, you stupid cow? D’you think I’m looking forward to this, huh? Look, they’ve paid a couple of extra grand just to eat with Lilith bloody Bresson the upmarket cock-tease and right now you’re depriving them of their added extra.’
I winced despite myself at his coarseness and his hard smile registered the hit.
‘I do this, all right? Some impotent, rich old bastard out to impress his child-bride, throwing the cash around to get her moist, then sitting back and wanking himself senseless while she gets screwed by a pro. Maybe a bit of the kinky stuff to make ‘em feel like they’re getting their money’s worth. You know? A chance for him to shove his cock up a fella’s arse, just to see what it’s like? He’s happy, she’s happy and I’m sufficiently out of my head not to give a fuck. It’s all right. You can go to bed with a clear conscience – you’ve said your piece and I’m duly warned.’ He ground the remains of his cigarette under his shoe, leaving a circle of ash on the flagstone.
‘I’m doing this for you,’ I hissed indignantly, suddenly less angry at Finn for his nihilism than at myself for being so stupid as to think this was serving any use whatsoever.
Finn turned on me. ‘Oh, don’t you fucking dare, lady! The only person you’re doin’ this for is yourself, you selfish bitch!’
‘That’s right. I had to beg Blaine to let me sit and have dinner with a couple of half-wit perverts.’
‘Tha’s not what I mean.’
‘Then what do you mean?’ I asked. ‘Come on, enlighten me.’
‘All right, let me ask you this. At any point today did you just happen to feel jus’ that wee bit better ‘cos you knew you were doing your thing to help me out?’
‘Go to hell.’
Finn laughed. ‘Yeah, I prob’ly will.’
‘Blaine said -’
‘For fuck’s sake, Lilith! Why now? You’ve spent months saying no and staying out of her grasp and then you do this!’ He reached out with a trembling hand and touched the fabric of my dress as though it were molten. ‘And this? God Lili, that’s a nice touch. Did she ask you to wear it, huh? Just one more thing to send her pet whore over the edge?’
‘Oh no,’ I winced as I realised. ‘Shit, I’m sorry, Finn – this dress – it was the first time you... That’s not the reason – it’s a costume, nothing else...’
His hand moved upwards so that now he held my jaw in a shaky grip. ‘You’re so beautiful, you know that? ’ His voice cracked with desolation, and he flinched at its betrayal. ‘It fucking burned me just to look at you in there!’
‘I’m sorry,’ I repeated.
His face hardened once more and his fury redoubled, as if fuelled by this momentary lapse.
‘You think that word fixes anything at all? This makes you part of it, you do know that, don’t you? You sitting there and smiling and talking your intellectual bollocks with those freaks means that somewhere down the line you agreed to something that says it’s okay for me to get fucked over at the end of it all.’ He went to walk away, but then something else occurred to him and he closed in again.
‘And you know what?’ he jabbed an accusatory finger in my face. ‘It makes a mockery of those other times. I dunno why you didn’t just dive straight in and whack the living shit out of me that first day. It would have been less of a fuckin’ stab in the back than this. And next time, you can suck Alasdair Dalziell off yourself – I’m sure you’ve got the technique. I bet your slut of a mother gave you a few lessons in the family business before she did the decent thing and topped herself.’
I gave him an open-handed slap across the face that was so hard that the back of his head hit the wall.
Finn held his fingers to his mouth where a single ruby of blood shone on his bottom lip. He brought his hand away and examined the stain with amused fascination. ‘Thank you, Ms Bresson,’ he smiled, and staggered off before I could find even a single word of response.
‘What an ungrateful boy,’ Blaine was at my shoulder. I hadn’t even heard her enter the corridor. ‘Now, I believe we still have quarter of an hour of your delightful company. Royce was particularly aggrieved that you’d slipped away.’
I gave one last try. ‘Blaine, those people in there – they’re not right…’
Her eyes flashed. ‘It’s his job, you stupid, naïve girl. You paint, he fucks.’ She paused, and became more conciliatory. ‘If it’s any reassurance, Coyle will have done some background research on the pair of them. They might have slightly different tastes, but that’s what I cater for here at Albermarle. Now come on. Perhaps the more charming you are, the more pleasant Finn’s experience will be.’
Finn