Chapter 27
Helel was not at the cafe when Gadreel arrived. There were many open tables and he chose one near the door so he could watch who came and went. aAcholins, the creature that had served he and his friends the last time they had come, approached his table.
'Gadreel, isn't it?' he asked.
' aAcholins, it is good to see you again. You possess a pretty amazing memory,' Gadreel answered, surprised.
'Your friend, Helel, told me you were coming. He is a regular guest here. Can I get you anything?'
'I would like a glass of yayin?'
'Technically we aren't supposed to serve yayin to students, but I will make an exception since you are such a good friend of Helel and Azazel.'
Gadreel was surprised and pleased his relationship with Helel came with added benefits. How had Helel managed to avoid the restriction placed on students? He assumed his friend often visited this place with Azazel, and it must be he who made the exception possible.
He took a deep drink of the burgundy beverage and closed his eyes as the warm sensation spread through his belly. If Ariel were less dogmatic, they could occasionally enjoy a glass together, but he was quite staunch in his criticism of those who chose to ignore what he saw as an important rule.
'I see you wasted no time getting started,' Helel laughed as he entered and collapsed in the chair opposite Gadreel. 'I'm glad you asked me to join you. We haven't had the chance to talk much lately. Your twin isn't joining us?'
'Ariel is meeting with Araton this evening, who, I believe, is trying to recruit him into the starherder program. Besides, I was hoping to discuss the meetings and Ariel isn't too keen on anything to do with Azazel.'
'Or me, I assume?' Helel offered.
Gadreel didn't get the chance to reply as aAcholins returned to check on them. Helel ordered food for both of them and a glass of passion water for himself.
'You aren't going to join me for a glass of yayin?'
'I don't really care for it. Anyone who enjoys it should be able to, but I don't have a taste for it myself. I'm glad to see you felt free enough to order it,' Helel said smiling.
'I guess I have Azazel to thank for that.'
'You would think that wouldn't you. Actually, Azazel likes to discuss free will more than he enjoys applying it.'
Gadreel looked up at Helel, surprised. He had never heard anyone besides Ariel speak of Azazel in any derogatory way. Even Gabriel, who often disagreed with Azazel's arguments, maintained an attitude of respect for their former trainer.
'Don't look so surprised, Gadreel. Azazel isn't some sort of deity. He is just another disgruntled angel, stuck teaching instead of out there working, who uses philosophical musings and slightly subversive tutoring sessions to compensate for his ineffectiveness. He isn't some revolutionary leader, merely a coward consumed by guilt.'
'What do you mean? What did he do?' Gadreel asked, incredulous.
'I'll save that for another time. I will just say this- Azazel puts on a good show, but he is playing games. The first time I ate here with him and ordered a glass of yayin, he nearly choked. He is fine, hiding away back at his estate, but get him out in public and he tows the line. You can sit here and enjoy a glass because of me, not Azazel. His little criticisms about the way things are done are just words. He will never stand on his supposed principals. Most accept his charade. Someday, I will tell you Azazel's real story, but I'm a little surprised you don't know. I am nearly certain Ariel discovered the truth. That is how he ended up as the top performer in Azazel's class. Our distinguished trainer was trying to buy his silence.'
Gadreel sat shocked. He would never of suspected Azazel had a dark secret to hide. And his best friend had hidden this information from him? For the first time he could remember, he was genuinely angry with Ariel.
'How do you know this? Did Azazel tell you?' asked Gadreel.
'Certainly not. Let's just say I found something that was hidden away very carefully. It didn't mention many names, but with a little digging and plucking I was able to uncover enough to fill in the missing pieces.'
Helel sat looking at Gadreel for a long moment. He seemed to hesitate before continuing.
'I'm sorry to be the one to tell you. I assumed Ariel would have discussed this with you. You two don't seem to have any secrets from each other. Don't be too angry with him. I'm not certain how he learned of it or what his reasons are for lying to you, but I'm sure he meant well. Raphael, the old bookworm, probably found the secret, locked away in the library somewhere, and told Ariel.'
aAcholins returned with their meals and Gadreel ordered another glass of yayin. They sat silently, eating, for several minutes. The food was delicious, but Gadreel barely noticed. His head was reeling with questions.
After they finished, Gadreel asked, 'Why do you continue to train with Azazel if he is a fraud?'
'Azazel is useful. He hasn't yet taught us all he knows. Plus, as students our influence is limited. Azazel is afraid his activities will be discovered and having that leverage over him gives power. As long as this information doesn't get out, Azazel provides us access. Besides, much of what Azazel teaches is correct. His problem is that he isn't strong enough to do anything more than talk. I like you, Gadreel. You have real talent. I have shared this with you because I trust you. I know that I can count on you to keep this to yourself, even from Ariel. You are going to be tempted to confront him, but I would ask you not to. Perhaps he will tell you himself at some point.'
Helel was right. He wanted to run home immediately and challenge Ariel with his betrayal, but he also understood this wouldn't serve his purposes. If Ariel admitted what he was hiding, he could use that information to push Gadreel to give up the meetings.
'I appreciate your honesty and I will keep this to myself. Is Gabriel aware of this?'
'No. Gabriel is a lot like Ariel in some ways. I will tell him at some point, but the time has not come.'
Gadreel paused, searching for the proper words. He waited until aAcholins placed a fresh glass of yayin on the table and departed before asking his question.
'Helel, what do you hope to gain from all of this?'
Before Helel could answer they were interrupted by the approach of an older angel who stood peering down at the pair with a disapproving countenance.
'Gadreel. Are you drinking yayin?' he asked.
Gadreel looked at the aura and saw this was Baphomet, a trainer at the academy. His stomach clenched and he looked away, ashamed he had been caught breaking the rules.
Helel stood and looked intently at the instructor, who seemed to notice Helel for the first time.
'He is with me,' Helel said defiantly.
Baphomet seemed startled and shifted his stance nervously. He looked quickly from Helel to Gadreel and back again. The angel, who had possessed such self-assurance just a moment before, suddenly seemed unsure of himself.
'Oh, Helel. Good to see you my friend. I didn't realize it was you. I'm sorry for the interruption,' and strode away, not looking back.
'That is what I hope to gain,' Helel answered.
'What just happened here? How did you do that? He is an instructor at the academy.'
'Gadreel, you are very talented and you are intelligent, but have a lot to learn. You must realize that most arella conceal secrets. When you learn those secrets, you are able to use the information to gather other secrets. And the more you possess, the easier it is to accomplish your goals. My mentor has shared many things about a host of angels and that knowledge is power.'
'Azazel?' Gadreel asked, confused.
'No, not Azazel. I have a different mentor than Azazel, one vastly superior to him.'
'And what are your goals, Helel?'
'The same as most. I want to be the very best angel I can be. However, even though everyone says that, few actually do anything to accomplish their goals. They are unwilling to act on their instincts. I am.'
'So, what is Baphomet's secret?'
'Here is the
second rule. If you give away all of your secrets, they no longer are valuable, which is why you get no more information about Azazel or anyone else, for now,' he replied with a small grin. 'Now it is your turn, Gadreel. What did you hope for when you invited me to dinner?'
Gadreel told Helel of the doubts that came about from his attendance at his first meeting. He described the confusion that the argument between Gabriel and Azazel about free will caused him.
'Those questions are quite normal. Most of the arella in the Kingdom, if they were being honest, would say the same thing. The reason so many of us develop those doubts is due to free will not really being free. There are a number of rules that make no sense, but most are afraid to voice these opinions. You sit here drinking yayin, even though it is forbidden for students to do so. Why?'
'I guess I enjoy it and it seems like such an arbitrary dictum. What or who am I hurting by having an occasional drink?’
'Exactly. That is the type of rule I am talking about. The reason these rules exist is because nobody ever asks the question. Angels like Azazel gladly talk about these things behind closed doors, but if you asked him to attempt to change anything, he would give you a myriad of excuses why he is unable or unwilling to do so. If we truly possess free will, we should make these decisions ourselves.'
'Ariel says it is arrogant to assume that we can always ascertain what is best for ourselves.'
'And what do you think?'
'If there were some legitimate reason given, I could understand it. Why not tell us why certain things are prohibited? It seems we are just expected to accept these things, without question.'
'And is that free will?' Helel asked.
Gadreel sat pondering for a second before answering, 'I don't believe so.'
'And neither do I. But look. The Kings are not unreasonable. They are just unaware of some of these problems because no one talks about them. Ultimately, if we really want free will, someone will need to ask for it. Are you capable of doing that, Gadreel?'
He was surprised by the question and found himself unable to respond. The idea of going before the Kings and expressing any sort of discontent filled him with a sense of desperate apprehension. He looked at Helel and saw his friend studying him intently.
'Don't worry Gadreel. No one expects you to take on the responsibility. We are just a couple of friends discussing things. We were given minds to reason together. There is nothing wrong with a friendly discussion. You can wipe the terrified look off of your face.'
Over dessert, the two discussed a wide variety of topics related to their classes. Gadreel was amazed at the breadth of Helel's knowledge. He seemed to know more than most of their instructors.
'Helel, what are you going to do after you graduate? I don't seem to be able to come up with a concrete plan.'
'I am still working out my plans. There is time for the both of us to discover our purpose. I believe I have an important role to play in the universe and when the time comes, I won't hesitate. And I am going to need help. Perhaps we will work together.'
aAcholins came and cleared away the last dishes from the table. The light was fading as the two left the cafe and walked to their waiting chariots. Gadreel was relieved at having unburdened himself regarding his doubts. It was reassuring to find out he was not alone in struggling with these questions. They stood quietly together, staring at the distant eminence of Mount Kol. Even from this distance it was prominent and commanding. Gadreel felt small at the sight of it. He looked over at Helel and noticed no sign of insecurity. Helel seemed so regal, so composed and so prepared to take on any task that was laid before him. Perhaps he would work with Helel in the ages to come.
'Are you ready for the planetary adaptation module?' Helel asked.
'I suppose so. It sounds kind of dry.'
'That seems an accurate description, at least from what I have heard. Although, it should provide some valuable skills.'
'I'm sure it will,' Gadreel answered.
'We aren't supposed to know this, but I happen to have some useful information about the module.'
Gadreel looked at Helel expectantly.
'This coming week, we will be dropped at the animal sanctuary to undergo a series of exercises meant to help us learn adaptation skills. What they don't tell you is that during this excursion, you will receive your pair bond. It seems a bit silly to me, being paired with some beast, but the rationale is it will prepare us to care for lower life forms and to learn from them, although I can't fathom what they could possibly teach us.'
Gadreel was elated. He had anticipated the pair bonding experience since he had first heard of it. He loved animals and was jealous whenever he saw an arella walking through campus with their bonded animal.
Maintaining a passive face, he asked, 'Why do they keep it a secret from us?'
'To insure we are paired appropriately. They fear if we are told in advance, we will attempt to choose for ourselves, instead of allowing it to happen naturally. Another example of our free will, I guess,' Helel observed.
'Thanks for telling me,' Gadreel answered.
He extended his arm and prepared to take his leave. Helel turned and looked intently into his eyes.
'It is important to me that we trust each other,' Helel said. 'I believe loyalty and honesty are the most important traits a good friend can have.'