Dani waved a hand through the air, wisping strands of light hair in front of her eyes. She brushed them aside. "Who knows?"
"I do," Jenn answered. Dark eyes glistening, she leaned toward us and whispered, "Don't tell anyone, okay, because I totally don't want to become the gossip, but she was out swimming one day and was raped by a group of Lyrosses."
Shock coursed through me, followed quickly by sympathy. I'd never heard of a Lyross, but rape was rape.
Jenn must have sensed my puzzlement because she added, "Not a lot is known about them, but we have learned that they came through the portals a few years ago and now live in our oceans."
Okay. I was sooo never going swimming again. Why the hell was information like that kept quiet? That was something people had a right to know. I wondered how many other human women had been raped by them while swimming.
Lindsay's face softened. "Poor thing. Raped." She shuddered.
"That's awful." Features sad, Johanna placed a hand over her heart. "Just...awful. My sister was raped by a boyfriend, and I remember the hell she went through during recovery."
"How do you know all of this?" I asked Jenn.
"Duh. I know just about everything because Boss tells my mom. I think they're--" She stopped, her mocha-colored features contorting as she made a gagging sound "--lovers. Anyway, Emma tried to kill herself afterward and was brought here when she recovered. They want to channel her rage, make her a cold assassin, like Le'Ace, or an unstoppable agent like Snow."
My gaze leveled on Emma, trying to find her in those shadows. I saw only darkness. Raped. I couldn't imagine such a thing. I'd had sex more times than I should have, had been too young, unprepared, doing it for all the wrong reasons, but each time had been my decision. I didn't know how I would have reacted if I'd been forced.
I wanted to go to her, but didn't. She'd only push me away, reject me. I knew it beyond any doubt. Besides, what help could I give her? I didn't know the pain of what she'd endured; in her mind, I'd never be able to understand. It was like a nonuser trying to talk to me about addiction. Nothing came of it but frustration.
Just then, someone laughed. Someone else chortled. I tore my attention from the corner and scanned the room again. Nothing had changed. Conversation flowed around us like rivers.
The older girls preferred the lounge area, I realized after closer inspection. They kept most of the boys occupied--except for a small group who stood off to the side, gazing wide-eyed at everything around them. Exactly like me and my friends were doing.
They must be the new male recruits.
"Which one do you think is that perv Bradley?" Kitten asked, leaning into me.
"Oh, oh, oh. And just who is Bradley?" Cara twirled a lock of dark hair around her finger. "Where'd you meet him?"
"Yeah," Jenn piped in, her expression rapt. "Tell us!"
Kitten quickly explained, and she couldn't keep the relish from her voice.
"Maybe that one's Bradley," Dani said, pointing. She was pretty, her pale hair, pale skin, and green eyes giving her a fairy-tale aura as she next waved at one of the boys, grinning coyly.
I looked over at the circle of boys, who were looking at us now. They were all tall and lean and very toned. They ranged in hair color, from the darkest of night to the brightest of morning. A few were gorgeous, some were cute, and the rest had average faces that could easily get lost in a crowd. It was the most handsome one who was waving back at Dani.
"I sincerely hope that's not Bradie boy," I said. Kitten would not like it if Bradley developed a crush on Dani. But as cocky as Bradley was, he had to be one of the gorgeous ones.
I, as it turned out, was wrong.
Two of the boys disconnected from their group and maneuvered through the crowd, heading straight for us. One was plain-looking, and one had a rugged appeal nothing female could deny. Both appeared happy. Cara and Jenn fiddled with their hair and blotted their faces with their hands.
"Testosterone alert," Dani muttered, sounding pleased. Excited.
"Ohmygod, I want him," Cara said. "I call dibs on the tall one."
When the boys arrived, they stopped in front of Kitten. The shorter of the two, the plain one, had dark hair and almost feminine green eyes; he gave the Teran a chin nod. "You Kitten?" he asked.
Instantly I recognized his voice. It was all Bradley: cocky and just a little wicked.
"That's me," Kitten replied. As eager as she'd been to see Bradley at last, she acted nonchalant now. "And you are?"
I wanted to grin, but didn't let myself.
He rolled his eyes, totally unimpressed with Kitten's performance. "As if you don't know, baby. This is my roommate and fellow badass, Erik Trinity. He's in his second semester here." His arm wrapped around Erik's wide shoulders.
Erik had brown hair (that was a little shaggy) and green eyes fringed by long, thick lashes. He radiated confidence and attitude, and something about him beckoned and held a girl's gaze. He was tall and strong, the kind of guy you wanted at your side, who looked like he would stop at nothing to protect you.
"Which one is Phoenix?" Bradley asked.
"That would be me." I raised my hand and gave a finger wave. I should have been excited to meet boys my own age. Especially since Erik was amazingly sexy and was grinning at me as if he wouldn't mind getting to know me.
He wasn't my instructor, and he wasn't strictly forbidden to me. So I should have smiled back. But...
"Meet our friends," I said, then introduced them to the others. Erik spotted Cara, who'd called dibs, and his breath caught in his throat.
His smile widened, and a wicked gleam filled his emerald eyes. "Hey."
Fickle, much? I thought with an inward laugh.
Cara twirled a strand of hair. "Hey yourself."
Despite the rules, hookups were going to happen. That much was obvious. Had Ryan hooked up with a fellow student when he'd been in training? The thought had my hands clenching.
Had he ever broken the rules and dated--kissed--a trainee?
Would he?
He would know what he was doing in bed, I thought, and perhaps even be able to give me an orgasm. I was embarrassed to admit it, but as many boys as I'd been with I'd never experienced one. I'd read about it in books, my friends had talked about it, and yet it had always eluded me.
An image of Ryan lying in my bed, summoning me over with a crook of his finger, flashed before my eyes. I shivered. I'd walk over to him, crawl up his body, and he'd kiss the breath right out of me.
"How you likin' your stay here, ladies?" Bradley asked, drawing me away from such bad, bad thoughts.
"I'm not a lady, but I'm suddenly loving it," Erik said.
Everyone chuckled.
"You wanna go get a drink or something?" Bradley asked Kitten.
"No, thanks," she answered. She flipped her multicolored hair over her shoulder. I caught a glimpse of pointed ears. "I'm not thirsty."
Still playing hard to get, was she?
Disappointment flashed over Bradley's freckled face, but he quickly recovered. "Whatever," he said. "You're probably boring, anyway, and would have ruined my good time."
"Boring!" she gasped, glaring up at him.
"That's right." He leaned into her personal space. "Your ears are working fine. I said boring. Want me to spell it, too?"
"You wanting me to scratch out your eyes and eat them?"
He flashed a smug grin. "Still desperate for a piece of me, are you?"
"Why you little--"
"Come on, Erik," he said, cutting her off. "I need a shot of caffeine to wake me up. Kitten almost put me to sleep." Without another word, the two boys were off. Bradley practically had to drag poor Erik, though, who kept throwing glances at Cara over his shoulder.
"I'll kill him," Kitten growled. "Kill him!"
"Why didn't you have a drink with him?" Cara demanded, stomping her foot. "I wasn't done talking to Erik."
"If Erik had wanted to talk to you, girlie, he would have stayed," Kitte
n bit out. Her eyes watched Bradley as he approached another group of girls. She hissed under her breath. "A player. I knew it. And I am not boring!"
"Why don't you just admit it. You wanted a piece of Bradley," I said.
She snorted and turned away from the boys. "As if."
I shook my head--and from the corner of my eye I spotted Ryan standing in the doorway. I gulped. "Uh, listen, I need a moment...away from the crowd."
"Want me to come with?"
"Nah." Just seeing him for that brief second, my blood was too hot. My limbs were shaky. My airways were constricted. "Stay here. Have fun. I'll be back soon." As I walked to the door, I saw that he was gone. Where was he?
I stepped out, searching...searching...
"Not your kind of party?"
Gasping, I straightened. He stepped from the shadows. Seeing him again, I actually ached. "Going to the party?"
"No. Not my turn to chaperone." He paused. His head tilted to the side as he studied me. "Want to walk with me? Talk?"
Not a question that needed consideration. I nodded and stepped to his side. His pine scent hit me, and his hand brushed mine. Goose bumps broke out over my skin. I should have been used to them by now. We started forward, the only two people in the hall.
Why did the things that were wrong always feel so good?
"What do you want to talk about?" I asked to fill the silence.
"Why don't you tell me about your last boyfriend," he said, eyes remaining straight ahead.
I almost choked. No way did I want to discuss my stupid decisions. "Why don't you tell me about your last girlfriend?"
His shoulders lifted in a shrug. "We didn't last long. She was a civilian and resented all the time I spent here. Your turn."
Fine. "He was four years older than me. I met him in rehab, but he hadn't been ready to stop using. I almost let him convince me to fly again--just one more. One more. Yeah, right."
Mom said I went for older boys because I was looking for a father figure. Anything to make up for the way my dad had abandoned us. But surely I was smarter now. Wiser.
That's why I'm crushing on Ryan, huh? Because I'm smarter?
"You didn't use, though," he said, "and that's what's important."
"Not dating losers is equally important, but I ignored that little bit of wisdom."
Ryan chuckled. We hit the end of the hallway and turned around, heading back to the party. "What's been your favorite part of camp so far?"
Honestly? "Your class." The demonstration, to be precise.
"You sucking up to the teacher?"
"If I wanted to suck up to the teacher, I wouldn't have punched him in the face."
His grin widened. "True."
Though we'd slowed our steps, we reached the doors all too soon. I wanted to go again, but he said, "Phoenix," and stopped. Looked at me. "You still unsure about staying?"
I gazed down at my boots. "I'd like to stay, but I feel like everyone's just waiting to kick me out." I couldn't help myself; I moved closer to him. He didn't back away. So badly I wanted to kiss him, and I didn't care about the rules. I just wanted his tongue in my mouth.
But as we looked at each other, a trio of boys laughingly stumbled from the room. Ryan and I jumped guiltily apart. Would he have let me? If we hadn't been interrupted, would he have let me kiss him?
"If you're going to get kicked out, it's always better to go down fighting," he said, backing away. "It's better to be the one they regret and miss and wonder about than the one they're confident in losing."
"Maybe."
"Definitely."
Disappointment rocked me that he was leaving. "See you around." He nodded, spun on his heel, and strode off.
"Better to go down fighting," he'd said. The thought of giving it my all and still failing was frightening. That would be more proof that I was a loser.
Sighing, I shoved open the door and stepped back into the room. The music was just as loud and grinding, and my friends had remained where I'd left them. They smiled as I rejoined them.
"Hey, Phoenix," a hard voice suddenly said.
"Yes." I sent my gaze to the speaker. She stood to my left. She was a pretty girl with dark hair, dark eyes. Pissed expression. Allison Stone. Ryan's sister.
"I heard you took Ryan down yesterday," she said. Her gaze sparkled with challenge.
"Yeah. So?" She'd made her dislike of me clear during my interview, so I wasn't going to waste my time being nice to her. "What are you doing at a party for trainees?"
She grinned with relish. "I'm the chaperone."
Six of her friends lined up beside her. They crossed their arms over their chests one after the other. "So," Allison said with a smug edge, "I think you think you're better than us."
"Think? Good one." Kitten moved to my side. She studied her elongated claws and purred low in her throat. "I don't know where you get your info, but you're wrong. She doesn't think it; she knows it. We know it."
Fury blazed over Allison's features. "Why don't you prove it, then, weakling?" She reached out and pushed me.
I stumbled backward a few steps. When I righted, I ran my tongue over my teeth. Oh, no, no, no. We weren't going to play this game. There would be no pushing me around. But fighting with her wasn't an option. It was against the rules. I could be kicked out. She wouldn't. Boss was her dad. I bet Allison could murder me and not get in trouble. Still.
If I let her intimidate me now, she would continue to do so. Her friends, too. I'd seen it a thousand times, and I admit, I'd done it to others. I had to prove myself now or suffer for the rest of the year.
I had to try to make her back down. But could I do it without breaking a single rule?
"You touch me again," I said, eyes narrowed, lips pulled tight, "and I'll make you sorry."
Her mouth curled in a smug smile. Smug, smug, smug. Everything about her was smug. "That's highly doubtful. I've had nearly twelve months of training. I can take little girls like you and snap your necks."
I closed every inch of space between us. Our noses touched. Her breath blended with mine. Around me I heard conversations taper to quiet. My heartbeat quickened. I knew I was outmatched. I'd seen her fighting skills when she'd battled the Sybilins. And I knew I'd gotten lucky when I overpowered Ryan yesterday. He hadn't expected me to act. Allison, though, expected it. Wanted it.
But again, I couldn't back down, couldn't show any hint of fear.
I raised my chin. "Go ahead and try it. I'll do to you what I did to that Sybilin: punch your face into powder."
A little color drained from her face. Good. She remembered that I, too, had some skills, raw though they were. But she didn't back down, either. "All you are is a druggie. A burned-out, stupid flyer."
I heard several people gasp. My jaw clenched. How dare she tell them about my past. How dare she! That was privileged information. Too late to keep it quiet now. "I'm a former flyer who isn't afraid of you."
"You don't deserve to be here, former user or not. You're not good enough."
"Your daddy thought differently." I paused, forced an evil smile. "Is that why you're here? Did Daddy pull some strings?"
Her eyes darkened, and I saw her decision to attack solidify there. I owed the observation to Le'Ace. Because of her, I was learning to watch and absorb details that I had never noticed before.
Allison swung at me, her open palm flying toward my nose. She meant to slam the cartilage into my brain. Bitch. Ryan had showed me this move in class--and exactly what to do. Rather than shoulder her in the stomach, however, I ducked and kicked out my leg, bouncing her ankles together and sending her toppling to the ground.
She gasped in shock, in disbelief, but was back on her feet before I could blink. A moment later, she fisted me in the cheek. This time, I didn't have time to dodge. At contact, my head whipped to the side. Pain exploded in my head.
Adrenaline swam through me, thick and potent, thankfully drowning all hint of pain. In seconds, I was so high on it, I felt stronger
than ever before. Invincible. Powerful.
I ducked as she swung again and punched her in the stomach. The fight was on now. Air whooshed from her mouth. She bent over, jerking me down with her. Then we were on the ground, rolling, rolling, until she was on top of me. Using all my newfound strength, I bucked her off, pinned her down, and punched her in the face--just as I'd promised.
"Bitch," she growled, and we rolled for a second time. She knifed her pointed fingers toward my throat. "My brother is not for you!"
I managed to grip her wrist before contact, stopping her momentum. "I never said he was." I arched my back and bucked again, dislodging her just enough to twist one of my legs up and kick toward her stomach.
Before I made contact, someone caught me from behind in an iron-clad grip. "Stop! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Ryan.
His voice echoed in my ears. I whipped to face him just as Allison pounded forward. She leapt into the air, spun, and meant to knock me in the face with her foot. She would have done it, too, but before I knew what he was doing, Ryan twisted us and took the blow himself.
Allison fell to the ground, gasping, "Ryan! Ryan, I'm sorry." Contrite, she rushed to his side.
Everyone paused and watched what was going on between brother and sister. And me, the outsider. Who knows what they were thinking. I didn't know what to think.
Fury contorting his face, Ryan pointed a finger in Allison's face. "You know better, Al. You know better than to act this way." His lip was bleeding, already swelling. "Go see Boss. He's waiting for you in his office."
She hesitated, paled. Her expression was tortured as she looked from Ryan to me, me to Ryan.
"Go!" he commanded harshly.
She spun and fled from the room.
"You," he said, grabbing hold of me once more. "Come with me." Without waiting for my reply, he tugged me into the hall, following the same path Allison had taken.
I could feel the anger radiating from him. There was something else, though, something I couldn't name that drifted beneath the negative emotion. I tossed a helpless glance over my shoulder and connected with Kitten's gaze. One of her eyes was already black and she was panting, but she smiled at me, a contented cat.
A set of doors closed, blocking out her image.
Ryan stopped, turned on me, and pointed a finger in my face, just as he'd done to his sister. "What the hell was that about?"