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  "Could you spell Glen Severn, please?"

  The woman spelled it for her. Natalie thanked her, and said goodbye.

  The telephone company had no record of a Jeffries in Glen Severn, Pennsylvania.

  MISS SHERIDANS, she had written. In Connecticut. She had no idea where it was in Connecticut. Or whether anyone would be there in July. Natalie called the Branford Public Library; they checked their reference books, and located Miss Sheridans for her, in Westgarden, Connecticut. Information gave her the number.

  She poured another Coke, took off her shoes, stretched her feet, and dialed Miss Sheridans with the fingers on her other hand crossed.

  "Miss Sheridans School, hello. " Funny, the change in inflections, Natalie thought. Miss Sheridans must be a classy place. The woman put three syllables into "hello. "

  She went through the lies again. Looking for a cousin shed lost track of. Julie Jeffries. Would have graduated in, oh, probably 1962.

  The woman was cheerful and friendly. "Well," she said, "youve called the right person. Im the alumnae secretary. Just a moment, please. Ill check. "

  A long moment. Natalie sipped her Coke and drew faces on her paper, girls faces with long dark hair and straight bangs.

  "Hello there. " Three syllables again. "Yes, I have it here. Julie Jeffries. I got out the 1962 yearbook, too, so that I could look her up. She did graduate that year. Goodness, wasnt she a pretty thing? It says under her picture that her ambition was to be a model. "

  The woman chuckled. "Thats unusual, for girls from Miss Sheridans. I wonder if she succeeded.

  "Im terribly sorry, though, that we have no current address for her. She simply hasnt responded to any of our alumnae mailings. Some girls just dont, you know. They marry, or take a job, and lose interest—"

  "Whats the last address you have?"

  "Let me see. That would be Glen Severn, Pennsylvania. Perhaps her family still lives there, and you could call them?"

  Natalie sighed, thanked her, and hung up.

  She sat by the telephone for a long time, idly filling in spaces on the paper with circles and lines. You get almost there, she thought, frustrated, and then youre not there at all, like one of those dreams where youre running after something that keeps getting farther and farther away.

  I should just give up. I dont know what else to try. She doesnt want to be found.

  Dumb, Paul had said. You should have tried the church.

  Well, thought Natalie, when in doubt or trouble, turn to the church. She called information again, in Glen Severn, Pennsylvania, and got the number of the towns only Episcopal church.

  "Saint Bartholomews," came the pleasant greeting. (Need a prayer? thought Natalie. Or a hymn? Short sermon, perhaps? How about a mother, long lost?)

  She launched into her playscript of lies. Their name was Jeffries. Im not even positive they were Episcopalians, but I thought perhaps—

  The woman interrupted her suddenly. "Oh, youre talking about Margaret! Goodness, I got a card from her the other day! What a coincidence! Lets see, its right here on my desk—Do you want her address, or her phone number, or both?"

  Natalie gulped. "Let me make sure its the right person, please. This is Mrs. Clement Jeffries—"

  "Yes, I know, dear. Weve been friends for a long time. Oh, I hated to see her move away. Goodness, Julie was married in this church. But you know, when Clement died, Margaret just—"

  "Oh, wait. Im sorry to interrupt you. But actually, its Julie that Im looking for. Do you by any chance—"

  "Oh, Im sorry. I dont have Julies address. But here, Ill tell you how to reach Margaret, and then she can tell you how to get in touch with Julie. "

  "Thank you. " Natalie picked up her pen again, and wrote it down carefully as the woman spoke. Margaret Jeffries was back in Detroit. Back where she had lived before they came to Simmons Mills. Before they had brought Julie to Simmons Mills to live. Before Julie. . .

  She wrote it down, drew a box around it, drew arrows pointing to the box, thanked the woman, hung up, looked at the name Margaret Jeffries, realized it was her own grandmother, burst into tears, and couldnt pick up the telephone again.

  24

  THE PHONE RANG in the kitchen while they were at dinner, and Dr. Armstrong sighed. "Im not on call this weekend. Im going to watch television tonight. It cant be for me. "

  "Not for me," said Nancy, with her mouth full. "Steves mad at me, and I just talked to Debbie, and—"

  "Ill get it," said Kay Armstrong, putting down her fork. "And whoever its for owes me a big favor. "

  They could hear her soft voice in the kitchen, talking for a long time. Then the resolute click of the receiver being replaced. Then silence.

  "Mom?" called Natalie. "You coming back?"

  Her mother returned to the dining room, pale, walking as a blind person does, carefully, through familiar places, without seeing. She sat back down.

  "Its Tallie," she said, in a voice small as a childs. "I dont know, I never thought—"

  She took a deep breath. "Its such a surprise. I just always thought of Tallie as—oh, Alden, shes very ill. That was a doctor in Bar Harbor.

  "Let me try to remember exactly what he said. It was such a shock. Tallie.

  "The doctors name was Baldwin. Stan Baldwin. He says he knows you, Alden. "

  Dr. Armstrong nodded. "Hes a good man. What did he say about Tallie?"

  "She has pneumonia. Fortunately she had enough sense to call for help—Im so glad we made her put that phone in, Alden. Just imagine, if—" She shuddered. "Well, anyway, Sonny went to the island and brought her over to Bar Harbor, to the hospital. Dr. Baldwin said theyve done X-rays, and blood tests, and that she has lobar pneumonia, in both lungs. How bad is that, Alden?"

  "It can be very serious, Kay. But shes in a good hospital, with a good doctor. What else did he say?"

  "Not much. Her temperature is down, some, from what it was. Theyve started fluids intravenously, and penicillin. She asked, of course, that he not bother us. But I told him Id come. "

  "Ill take you, Mom," said Natalie quickly.

  Kay Armstrong looked around uncertainly. "Nancy, can you and Dad manage? Oh, thats silly. Of course you can. Thank you, Nat. We can leave first thing in the morning and be there by noon. "

  "How did she seem, when you saw her last month, Natalie?" asked her father.

  Natalie smiled. "She was great, Dad. Very well, and strong. We went swimming, even, in that icy water. She said that any year now shell be a glamorous old lady. But she sure didnt seem like an old lady when I was there. "

  Now, in the hospital bed, Tallie did look old. And small. There is something about hospital beds, thought Natalie, that shrinks people. It isnt fair, to diminish them like that.

  But chagrin expanded Tallie. "I feel so foolish," she said weakly, taking their hands in hers. "And I hate it that you had to come all this way to see me like this. But I confess that Im glad you came. I feel better already, just seeing the two of you. "

  "Dont talk, Tallie," said Kay, smoothing her mothers hair. "Just rest. Im going to find Dr. Baldwin, and talk to him. Nat, you stay here and keep her company, but dont let her talk, okay?" She left the room.

  "Hows it going, Natalie?" asked Tallie when they were alone. "Ive been so curious. I was hoping youd write. "

  "Shhhh," said Natalie. "Mom said not to talk. "

  "Oh, hell," said Tallie. "Im beginning to feel better already, now that I have something to interest me. You cant imagine how boring a hospital is. And tacky. Will you look, Natalie, at these hideous green walls? Now tell me whats going on with you?"

  Natalie sat down. "Well, its been strange, Tallie. I made this very long trip, to the town where I was born. And I found out lots of things—about the town, about my mother. Her name was Julie. "

  Tallie raised an eyebrow. "Not bad, for a name. Bet she was beautiful, too. "

  Natalie smiled. "I saw pictures of her, Tallie. She looke
d like me, but she was different. She was very beautiful—I dont mean to sound conceited, after saying she looked like me. "

  Tallie laughed. "Dont be silly. How was she different?"

  Natalie pondered. "Its hard to say. I havent figured it out myself. But there was something about her that didnt fit into the small town. She was smiling, in most of the pictures, but something was wrong. "

  "She was pregnant. " Tallie chuckled. "Of course something was wrong. "

  "No. " Natalie shook her head slowly. "Before that. I could see it in the pictures. She wasnt like the other girls, the ones she went to school with, the ones who lived in the town. Even before she became pregnant. "

  "Where is she now?" Tallies eyes were bright with interest.

  Natalie sighed. "I dont know. She left, after I was born. Her whole family moved away. I can find out where she is, I think, just by making a phone call, but I havent been able to bring myself to make it. Im not sure why. Suddenly Im not sure that I want to intrude on her life. "

  Tallie rested, thinking. "You know, Nat," she said finally, "if you dont do it now, after getting this far, youll regret it. "

  "I know that. But its as if—well, Ive grown to like her, Tallie. "

  "Surely youre not afraid that youll like her better than your own parents?"

  Natalie laughed. "No, its not that. To be honest, I dont even think of her as my mother. I think of her as—this is really strange, Tallie—"

  "You think of her as yourself. Thats not strange at all. But you dont want to be disappointed. "

  "Yes. I guess thats really it. "

  "Natalie, go find her. Even if youre disappointed, you wont be sorry. I, Tallie Chandler, guarantee it. "

  Natalie sat quietly for a minute, and then nodded. "Okay. And you, Tallie, you take care of yourself. Youre going to be all better soon. I, Natalie Armstrong, guarantee that. "

  They grinned at each other.

  Natalie and her mother stayed four days in Bar Harbor. Tallie grew increasingly stronger; Dr. Baldwin said on the fourth day that her lungs were completely clear, and that shed been afebrile for twenty-four hours.

  "What does that mean?" asked Natalie.

  "It means she has no fever. That shes well," said Dr. Baldwin. "Shes a tough lady. But shes going to be very weak for a while. She cant go back alone to that island. Could you take her home with you, to Branford, for a while?"

  "She wouldnt go," Natalie and her mother said, in unison.

  "I know it. " Dr. Baldwin laughed. "I thought Id suggest it anyway. But shes done nothing for two days except talk about how soon she can get back to the island. Seems the blueberries are almost ready for picking. "

  "Well," said Kay Armstrong slowly, "I havent picked blueberries for years. Ill go with her, and stay for a while. What do you think, Nat? You girls can manage at home, cant you? Keep Dad fed?"

  Natalie nodded.

  When she had settled her mother and grandmother together in the island house, with promises from them both that they would call if there were any problems, she drove back to Branford alone.