I sighed. ‘Well, that’s obvious. She’d never let 				us in.’
   			‘True,’ said Alison. ‘Not unless we had some 				excuse. Like, for instance, if we had something that she wanted.’
   			‘But we don’t,’ I pointed out.
   			‘Ah,’ said Alison, proudly, ‘but we do.’ She held 				up the playing card, the one with the really revolting, brightly coloured picture of a spider. 				‘Remember what she said to us in the woods? “They must be returned to me – all of them.” But we 				haven’t given her this one.’
   			My heart sank. Alison was outwitting me again. It 				was true: the Bird Woman had insisted that every one of those cards be returned to her, so we 				would only be doing what she had asked.
   			‘So you think we should take it round?’
   			‘Yep.’
   			‘When?’ I had been so happy sitting here. And now 				I was less inclined to move than ever.
   			‘No time like the present,’ said Alison, 				brightly. ‘Come on, let’s get it over with.’
   			We locked up my grandparents’ 				house with the spare set of keys, and set off into town. We were breaking my promise to Gran 				that we would stay at home, of course, but Alison was no longer to be swayed by thoughts like 				that. She strode on ahead of me so quickly that we reached Needless Alley in little more than 				ten minutes. When we arrived, it was getting on for noon and the fierce July sun was high in the 				sky. Beverley appeared placid and friendly that morning, but as soon as we turned into the 				narrow opening between those two tall houses, shadows started to encroach, the temperature 				seemed to drop, and Number Eleven, as we approached it with increasingly reluctant footsteps (on 				my part, anyway), looked more threatening than ever. A thick, blanketing silence covered the 				street, as it had yesterday, and it wasn’t until we had penetrated the front garden and almost 				reached the front door that it was broken: first of all by the sound of our footsteps scuffling 				against the stony obstructions in our path, and then by the melancholy chirping of the birds 				trapped in the leafy aviary that made up the house’s bizarre façade.
   			At the foot of the four steep steps that climbed 				up to the front door, we paused. This was it. Our last chance to think better of the adventure, 				and turn back.
   			Alison’s eyes met mine. I saw at that moment 				something I had not suspected before: she was as apprehensive as I was. But she was also, at 				heart, much braver: and without any more dithering she now marched boldly up the steps, grasped 				the heavy iron knocker (in the shape of some contorted gargoyle) and let it fall three times 				against the door’s thick oak panelling.
   			There was a long pause: long enough to allow me 				the luxury of some sweet relief, a few moments’ precious hope that the knock would not be 				answered at all. But finally we heard shuffling footsteps behind the door; and then it was 				pulled open.
   			Already dark with suspicion, the Mad Bird Woman’s 				face hardened still further when she saw us.
   			‘You! What do you want?’
   			‘Please, miss,’ said Alison, ‘we’ve got something 				that belongs to you, and we’ve come to give it back.’
   			I looked at her full of new 				admiration: her tone struck just the right balance between insolence and wheedling politeness. 				She held up the spider card and, as soon as she saw it, the Mad Bird Woman reached out a 				demanding hand.
   			‘Ah, yes. We were wondering where that one had 				got to. Come on, pass it over.’
   			But Alison kept the card back. ‘Please, miss, 				we’ve walked all the way across from the other side of town to bring you this, and now we’re 				thirsty. Can we have something to drink, please?’
   			The Woman’s eyes narrowed at the audacity of the 				question. She licked the studs on her lower lip, thought for a few seconds, and said: ‘All 				right. Come in.’
   			We squeezed past her into a hallway which was 				gloomy enough already, but was plunged into even greater blackness when she promptly slammed the 				door behind us. Now she was just a shadow, a mannish bulk looming indistinct against the 				dun-brown background of the wall. We had all become shadows.
   			‘I’ll get you some water,’ she said.
   			‘I’d rather have a cup of tea, please,’ said 				Alison. ‘With milk and two sugars.’
   			The Woman gave an incredulous grunt, and said, 				‘Would you now?’ But she threw open a door, all the same, and held it wide for us. ‘In here, 				then.’
   			We stepped into a room which was slightly – but 				not significantly – brighter than the hallway we had just left behind. Most of the noonday 				sunlight was held at bay by the thick screen of ivy which covered much of the window, in the 				midst of which a couple of dozen birds were hopping and nesting and looking in at us with bright 				eyes and curiously inclined heads. This was the same front room we had peered into the day 				before. It was dominated by a long, narrow dining table in dark wood, with massive wrought-iron 				candlesticks at either end; and by a large, murky oil painting, half abstract and half 				landscape, which took up most of the wall opposite the windows. The walls must once have been 				white, I supposed, although now they were closer to grey. Cobwebs sprouted from every corner and dangled down from the flaking cornices. It was a singularly cold and 				cheerless room.
   			‘Are you going to give me that?’ the Woman asked 				again, holding out her hand.
   			‘Tea first – card later,’ said Alison, in a 				defiantly sing-song tone. The Woman glowered at her and left the room, closing the door behind 				her with a firm slam.
   			I rushed to the door and tried the handle, 				fruitlessly.
   			‘Now look what you’ve done,’ I wailed. ‘We’re 				trapped! She’s locked us in!’
   			Alison strolled over and opened the door in a 				relaxed and easy movement.
   			‘Calm down, can’t you? You were turning the 				handle the wrong way. We can leave any time we want.’
   			‘Then let’s leave now,’ I said. ‘She 				doesn’t want us here. She looked like she was going to murder us. Did you see those … 				things all over her face? And those tattoos!’
   			‘Lots of people have tattoos,’ said Alison. ‘And 				if she didn’t want us here, she wouldn’t have offered us tea.’ Now she wandered over to a second 				painting, a smaller one, some sort of still life, which hung next to the door. ‘What do you make 				of this?’ she said.
   			‘For heaven’s sake. We’re not here to look at 				paintings. What did you want to come inside for? Why couldn’t we just have given her the card 				and gone home?’
   			‘Because that wasn’t what we came for. Now look – 				when she comes back, I’ll slip out and go down to look in the cellar, so you’ll have to keep her 				talking.’
   			I was horrified. ‘What? I can’t keep her 				talking.’
   			‘All right, then – I’ll keep her talking, and you 				go down to the cellar.’
   			‘No! I can’t go down to the cellar either.’
   			‘Well, there are only two of us. You’ve got to do 				one or the other. Is that meant to be a tennis racket, do you think? And what about this? It 				looks like a football.’
   			I tugged her away from the painting, maddened by 				the insouciance with which she now seemed to be accepting this desperate 				situation. I was convinced that we were never going to get out of this house alive.
   			‘By the way,’ Alison added, ‘did you notice what 				she said?’
   			‘When?’
   			‘Back on the doorstep, when I showed her the 				card. She said, “We were wondering where that one had got to.” Not I was wondering. 					We.’
   			She gave me an emphatic, meaningful nod, seeming 				happy at this apparent confirmation of her theories. As for me, this further proof – if proof it 				was – of the Bird Woman’s madness sent my heart plummeting even further. The thought of being 				alone in the room with her made me want to be sick. In fact,  
					     					 			I couldn’t do it: there was simply 				no way. I was going to have to choose what now seemed (incredibly) to be the lesser of two 				evils.
   			‘Look, Ali – I’ll go down to the cellar. You stay 				here and keep her talking.’
   			‘Are you sure?’
   			I nodded miserably, and just then the door was 				opened again and our terrifying host reversed into the room, carrying with her a tea tray rather 				than an axe or a carving knife. This was some consolation, I suppose, although it still left 				open the possibility that she intended to poison us.
   			‘Here you are, then,’ she said. ‘Two nice mugs of 				tea.’ She put the tray down on the table and then swirled the teapot around a few times before 				starting to pour. ‘Aha!’ (She noticed that Alison had wandered over to the larger of the two 				paintings.) ‘Admiring my artwork, are you?’
   			‘Did you paint this?’ Alison asked, evidently 				impressed.
   			‘All the paintings in this house are mine.’
   			‘Cool. So where is this?’
   			Still carrying the teapot, the Woman came over to 				stand beside Alison and look more closely at the canvas. Despite everything, my gaze was drawn 				towards it too. Now that I looked at it properly I could see that it showed a bleak swathe of 				moorland, beneath a stormy and cloud-covered sky rendered in such brutal 				strokes that it appeared at first to be a mere chaos of grey and black shades.
   			‘North Yorkshire,’ said the Woman. ‘You see this 				house?’
   			She laid her finger upon a patch of canvas. 				Perched almost on the crest of a vast, forbidding ridge, overlooking a large expanse of dismal 				and featureless water, was a gaunt mansion rendered in the blackest of blacks. It took up very 				little of the painting, but somehow seemed to dominate it: a mad conglomeration of gothic, 				neo-gothic, sub-gothic and pseudo-gothic towers which collectively resembled nothing so much as 				a giant hand, snatching at the clouds as if in the conviction that, despite their vaporous 				insubstantiality, they could be pilfered from the sky itself.
   			In the bottom right-hand corner of the picture, 				two words had been written: ‘Winshaw Towers’. They were followed by the initials ‘P. B.’ and the 				date ‘1991’.
   			‘That’s a real house,’ the Woman continued, 				‘where I used to work for a while. As a nurse. Until one night, twelve years ago …’
   			She fell silent, lost in a memory; and not a very 				pleasant one, by the sound of it.
   			‘Twelve years ago …?’ Alison prompted.
   			‘Something bad happened.’
   			We waited, but clearly no further explanation was 				forthcoming. Not wishing to talk or even think about it any more, the Woman went back to the 				table and the tea tray. ‘Milk and two sugars, wasn’t it?’ she said. ‘Is that the same for both 				of you?’
   			‘Yes please,’ I answered; and then – aghast at my 				own courage – I began to set the plot in motion. ‘Can I use your toilet?’
   			She threw me a look full of mistrust, but after 				weighing the request briefly she seemed to relent. Turning away from me to concentrate on 				pouring the milk, she muttered: ‘All right then. There are three doors at the end of the 				hallway. It’s the one on the left. Don’t touch either of the others. And come straight 				back.’
   			‘I will. Thank you.’
   			I began to back out of the room, slowly and 				unwillingly. Now that the deed had to be done, I was still not sure that I 				was capable of it. Alison glanced at me, her eyes eloquent with the command to hurry up and get 				on with it. But still I lingered, gripped by some sort of absurd inertia. In desperation, Alison 				turned back towards the Woman and began to babble at her about the other painting.
   			‘Can I ask you something about this?’ she said. 				‘I just wondered what you were trying to do when you painted it. I mean – this is a football, 				right? And this is a tennis racket …’
   			Upon hearing these words, the Woman made a noise 				we had not heard before – something akin to a growl – put down the milk jug and came storming 				over towards the picture. This was my cue, at last, to beat a final retreat, and this time I 				actually managed to slip out through the door and back into the hallway, staying within earshot 				just long enough to hear the disgruntled artist say:
   			‘Why does everybody get this painting 				wrong? It’s Orpheus, for God’s sake! It’s the lyre of Orpheus and his disembodied head being 				carried along by the waters of the Hebrus. How many times do I have to explain this 				…?’
   			I left her to her rant, and stole quickly through 				the shadow-filled hallway, past a steep and thinly carpeted staircase ascending to the first 				floor on my right, until I had reached the three doors at the corridor’s very end.
   			The first door, to the left, opened on to a small 				bathroom containing toilet and hand-basin. The second door, in the middle, was solidly locked. 				The third door, which led under the staircase, was obviously the one that would take me down to 				the cellar. Before putting my hand to the doorknob, I prayed that this one would be locked as 				well. Then all I would have to do would be to go back to Alison and report failure. I would have 				done my duty, at least. Please God, I prayed silently, let this be what happens. Don’t make me 				go down there. Don’t make me go down into the darkness.
   			Then I grasped the doorknob, turned it … 				and the door swung creakily open.
   			The first thing that hit me was a strange, damp, 				stale smell wafting from somewhere in the depths. It had elements of dry rot, rotting fruit and fried onions – or fried food of some sort, at any rate. It was not quite 				as off-putting as I had expected.
   			What was off-putting, certainly, was the 				profundity of the darkness that greeted me as I stepped forward and peered down the stairs 				towards the cellar. It was almost impossible to make out anything at all. With my left hand I 				reached out and found that there was some sort of rail or bannister to hold on to. The steps 				beneath my feet were concrete. I took one more glance towards the room where the Mad Bird Woman 				had served us tea – half expecting her to be looking out through the doorway, checking on me – 				and then started my descent.
   			As I got closer to the foot of the stairs, the 				silence became heavier and the smell grew stronger. Surprisingly, too, it became slightly easier 				to see ahead of me. This, I realized, was because the staircase ended in a closed door, and from 				behind this door, visible around its edges, a soft yellow glow was emanating. And so, whether 				the cellar was occupied or not, there was certainly a light on in there. Just like we’d seen 				yesterday, through the window.
   			I stopped outside the door. In the silence I 				could hear my heart beating, my breath coming and going, the blood ringing in my ears. Nothing 				else. Not another sound.
   			I laid a hand upon the door, and pushed. It began 				to swing open.
   			Again, it creaked: much louder than the door at 				the top of the stairs. But the noise was still not loud enough to disturb the figure sitting at 				the table in the centre of the room.
   			From where I was standing, it was evidently the 				dead body of an elderly lady. Her back was towards me, illuminated by the harsh glare of a light 				bulb hanging directly above her. I could see straggles of thin grey hair hanging off the skull, 				down as far as the prominent shoulder blades. She wore a blouse which was torn, decaying, almost 				in tatters; what was left of the yellowing flesh peeped through in patches underneath. I took a 				few reluctant, appalled steps towards her, my head swimming, my stomach tightening with nausea, 				and even though I knew that she was dead, stupidly, irrationally, I could not help myself 				saying, in a tiny voice:
   			‘Mrs Bates? Mrs Bates?’
   			But the corpse remained quite motionless. I came 				closer, and realized that she was sitting – or had been placed, rather – in front of a table. A 				green baize card table. Laid out on the table was a game of Pelmanism. The cards featured those 		 
					     					 					by now familiar crude, slightly sickening pictures of animals, and had all been paired off, one 				with another: fish with fish, tigers with tigers, snakes with snakes. There was only one that 				was lacking its partner: the card showing a single, giant spider, standing upright on two of its 				legs, raising the others fiercely in the air as if challenging someone to a fight, the pale 				green of its underbelly shining out with queasy clarity. It was waiting to be paired off with 				the missing card, the one we had come here to return.
   			Tearing my eyes away from this horrid but 				compelling image, which I could see from behind the dead body by peering over one bony shoulder, 				I raised my hand slowly, wondering if I actually dared to touch the thing. Would it crumble and 				decay the moment I laid my hand on it, however careful I tried to be? Would an arm fall off in a 				cloud of powder and dust, the bones clattering to the floor? How long had she been here? What 				sort of state was she in?
   			My hand came closer, closer to the brittle, 				angular shoulder blade.
   			‘Mrs Bates?’ I whispered, again.
   			And then, at the moment of contact …
   			… at the moment of contact something truly 				astonishing happened. The corpse jerked abruptly and violently into life. It swivelled around in 				its chair and instead of being confronted by a fleshless skull I found that I was looking into a 				pair of wide-open, startled, madly staring eyes. And then the mouth opened, too, and a terrible 				sound came from inside it. A long, animal monotone: a single-note scream of fear and 				incomprehension which, the moment it started, felt as though it was never going to stop. Which 				meant there were two screams, of course, because I was already screaming, too, at the top of my 				voice, and it must have been the pitch and volume and suddenness of my scream that made the 				figure raise its painfully thin arms up in the air, crashing into the light 				bulb and sending it swinging, back and forth, back and forth, so that now his crazed, distorted 				face (because it was a man, after all, there could be no doubt about that) was bathed in light 				then shadow, light then shadow, as the bulb above it swung like a pendulum, and the two of us 				locked eyes and continued to scream as long and loud as we could until there were footsteps on 				the stairs and the next thing I knew …