The Mistress rotated her body, letting her tail swipe across the stack of gold near me. My only warning that it was coming was the sound of moving coins. I started to duck, but still was caught across the chest by the tail, which threw me against the far wall; then I dropped to the ground.
"Let me speak to Aurelia!" I shouted.
"Make the Jupiter Stone, and I will give you the girl," the Mistress said.
"Give her to me, and I won't make you into roasted dragon," I countered.
That elicited more fire from her breath, but it only went around my shield, allowing me to get even closer to her.
With my magic, I raised every object of gold inside this cave, and used the wind to send it swirling around her. The strong current of air it created pulled the dragon's fire into itself, becoming a pillar of golden flame that stretched to the roof of the cave. With the heat from the fire, the gold melted and then cooled in streaks that rose from the ground like a gnarled, twisted golden cage.
"What is this?" the Mistress growled. "Am I not imprisoned enough within this cave?"
Apparently not.
The dragon crouched, giving itself as much room as possible within its golden cage, then reared up, letting its wings flail outward. The golden bars shattered, and the dragon fluttered to another end of the cave, then roared fire directly at me.
The vestalis had told me the end to my troubles would come through crossing through fire. This was part of what she meant. I would have to cross through the fires of this dragon. I wouldn't think about the other part of what she meant, of the other kind of fire I would have to face. I couldn't think about that right now.
So I lowered the shield, letting the flames lick my face and hands. I felt the hunger of the fire to consume the air around me. I even felt the heat, yet it did not bother me. I could bear this.
With greater confidence, I walked forward. The fire grew hotter and stronger, as did the Mistress's anger.
"Your powers are growing," Atroxia whispered inside my head. "But if you kill her, you will kill me. You must break the curse and set me free that way."
"I have to set Aurelia free too," I said. "I won't risk her life."
There was more to it, things I didn't say. If the empire's forgiveness had not released the binds between her and the Mistress, then maybe they could not be separated. Atroxia was forever sealed to her fate.
Unless I accepted mine.
But not at Aurelia's expense. I continued walking forward, letting the flames move harmlessly around me.
"It's the Malice!" the Mistress screamed. "My Malice protects you! Once it is mine again, you will feel the worst of my powers!"
Her anger didn't affect me, no more than her flames did. "You have no powers, only a bad temper and a tail that ensures you will die alone and friendless. Tell me where Aurelia is, or I will use the full strength of the Malice against you."
"Please don't do it!" Those were Atroxia's words, ones spoken only in my head.
The flames brightened again. The Mistress heard me and was resisting my requests, but deep within the dragon, the human was fighting for control.
Once I was close enough, the flames stopped, and the Mistress snapped at me. She caught my arm between her teeth, one of which clamped down on the Malice, no doubt saving that piece of my arm. When she lifted her head again with her mouth still closed, I came into the air with her.
She must've raised me almost to the roof of this massive cave, because in the reflection from her eyes, it seemed to be very close. She reared back her head, intending to throw me against the cave wall. Instead, I hit the remnants of one of the long gold bars and there got my idea. I took hold of the bar, then leapt from it onto the dragon's back, high on her neck. She arched her head and flayed her wings apart, but nothing she did forced me to let go.
I pressed my hand down on the scales of her back, just as Brutus always did on my shoulder, but though he drew magic out of me, I was pouring it directly into the dragon. I had suspected there might be a reaction, but never could've anticipated this.
The Mistress arched her long neck, almost spinning with rage as she fought against the magic. I could destroy the curse this way, by splitting the dragon apart from within.
"Please stop!" That was Atroxia's voice screaming at me. "Perhaps the dragon can survive so much. I cannot!"
But the Mistress had become stronger within this cave, as if Diana herself fed her powers. It would take the full powers of the Malice to stop the Mistress, and wasn't this the reason I had it -- so that I could claim victory even in moments like this?
I was willing to use the Malice to destroy the dragon. Indeed, it was a victory that could save the empire. But was I equally willing to let Atroxia be the price for that victory?
"Please!" Atroxia cried again, echoes of my own screams from when Brutus had flogged my back. If I was causing her anywhere near that amount of pain, I couldn't pretend that this was the right thing to do.
I released my hand, and after the briefest moment of silence, the dragon reared up, slamming me backward against the wall of the cave. Even with the Malice, I nearly fell. Hopefully, the Divine Star would cure the headache that was sure to follow.
On the other hand, the Mistress could cause pain beyond what an entire empire could bear. I couldn't ignore that fact either.
I raised my hand again, preparing to press it back down on the dragon's scales. I could still stop the dragon. I could win this.
And Atroxia would lose.
"To win, you will have to lose." That's what the vestalis had told me.
This wasn't about the Mistress, or Atroxia. It was about me. I had to lose here, in this cave.
How I hated every single word the vestalis had ever spoken to me. They were cruel and merciless ... and honest. I hated the words because I believed them.
I had to lose.
"Find me in this room!" I yelled to the Mistress. I rolled off her back, landing somewhere on the cave floor. I came down on solid ground, leaving a soft echo in the room that would make it easy for the Mistress to find me. She immediately knocked me over with one leg, then clamped a clawed foot on my chest, pressing down until I could barely breathe, much less speak. Another breath of fire rushed at me, so hot this time that though I could bear the flames, it burned enough of my tunic to render it unfit for a second use. Crispus had been right earlier: It was too much to hope even for a full day's use from it.
The Mistress's flame began focusing on my right forearm, where the Malice was. As she had done with the gold coins, she was attempting to melt the silver enough to pull it off my arm. And as hot as it was becoming, I feared she might succeed.
Perhaps what I hated most about the vestalis's cryptic messages were the double meanings they often contained. This one was perhaps worst of all.
Did the vestalis mean that I had to lose? Or was there something more in her words? What if the vestalis meant that to win this fight, I would have to lose ... Aurelia? Where had the stag taken her?
When her next breath came at me even hotter, I immediately called out, "I offer you a bargain, Mistress, one I'm sure you will not refuse. Tell me where Aurelia is. Let me save her, and I'll do as you ask."
"You will free me from this cave? You will use the Malice to bring in a storm?"
"Yes," I said, feeling an entirely new weight press in on my chest. "After Aurelia is safe, I will bring in the storm."
"The girl can still be useful," the Mistress said. "She will watch as you make the stone. But she should not worry about you, Nicolas. You will be protected by the bulla and that Malice. You will survive the storm."
It was exactly what Radulf had warned me she would say. He also warned it was a lie.
Her great snout turned down to me next, and behind it, eyes like the brightest sunset shone through each smoky breath. "I order you to free us from this cave."
We wouldn't go through the water again. It was difficult enough to keep myself balanced on the back of a dragon while underw
ater -- the only way I'd held on last time was because my arms were wrapped around her throat. This time, we would fly.
Once she had released me, I raised a shield and then shot magic directly overhead, piercing rocks and hard-packed dirt and roots embedded deeply in the ground. They fell near me, but thanks to the shield, I was protected.
After the last of the debris had fallen, I said, "I've obeyed your first order; now you obey mine. Tell me where Aurelia is."
Low-pitched laughter erupted from deep within the dragon's belly. "That was the purpose of releasing us from this cave. I'm going to take you to her."
"Where is she?"
"She is in the place where you will make the storm. She is waiting for you."
She gathered me into one claw, crouched low, and then shot upward toward the open skies. In normal circumstances, I'd have rather continued fighting her on the shores of Lake Nemi than wherever she was taking me. But nothing about this was normal. I had to get to wherever Aurelia was, and do whatever it took to protect her. Beyond that, it suddenly seemed like a very good idea to preserve my magic for what would be our ultimate battle over a storm I had just promised to create.
From the uncomfortable angle in which I was being held, I wasn't certain exactly where the Mistress was taking me, though I knew we were headed back to Rome.
Where would we go?
There would've been advantages to fighting on the shores of Lake Nemi. At least, no other people would be in danger around us, and there would be no one to see me fall in the end, to talk about how pathetic my last moments were. I could go into the history books as a myth, as someone who was once said to have had great powers, but which couldn't be real, considering how easily it all ended. That's what they'd say, if they remembered me at all. I preferred that.
It didn't matter anyway. We were clearly returning to Rome, and I started ticking off in my mind the possible locations the gods would choose for creating a storm. Either the amphitheater or the circus gave me the most space, and even if games had been held there earlier in the day, they were likely empty now.
I didn't want to go anywhere in the forums. There were too many people, and too many obstacles for me to hope for a clean shot at taking hold of a lightning bolt.
Taking hold of a lightning bolt? The idea of such a thing turned my stomach. This was madness at its finest.
No, that wasn't the plan. I had to stick with what I had offered the Mistress, and do nothing more. I would only create a storm. I had safely done it before, and I could do it again.
Although this time, there would have to be lightning. It was foolish to pretend otherwise. No, it was foolish to be in this position in the first place. My stomach leapt into my throat.
"How far will you go to save the girl?" Was that Atroxia's voice, or the Mistress's?
"Let me speak to Atroxia," I said.
"Atroxia is weak," the Mistress said. "She is flawed and fearful. Without me, she would have died long ago."
Without magic, I would've died too. Nothing was particularly special about either of us. We were simply two humans in extraordinary circumstances, who both had committed more than our share of crimes.
"I hate her weakness," the Mistress added.
I'd never heard weakness in Atroxia before. There was fear, yes, but who wouldn't be afraid in her situation? She must've been very young when she fell in love with Marcus Brutus, probably not much older than me, and I knew how my feelings for Aurelia often shifted everything upside down in my head.
Atroxia's terrible decisions had resulted in the death of Julius Caesar. My decisions had resulted in the death of Aurelia's father, and Valerius's death, and had nearly done the same to others I cared so deeply about.
And for as often as Atroxia had begged for my help, I had refused, claiming that she deserved her punishment.
Had I deserved the sentence the emperor delivered upon me? If the vestalis had not saved me, I would've met my end yesterday. I should never have been saved, but I was. And there would be a price for it.
Diana's curse upon Atroxia saved her too, though it also asked her to pay a heavy price. Even if the dragon swore revenge upon Rome, Atroxia had only ever wanted the empire's forgiveness.
Just as I wanted forgiveness.
I wondered again about where Aurelia was, if she was truly at the place where we were going, and if she was still safe. Depending on the answers to those questions, then I also hoped she would forgive me for getting her into this situation in the first place.
She might, considering that she had already forgiven me for other offenses just as awful.
I'd never fully understood how both Aurelia and Crispus could have forgiven me for what had happened to their fathers. I should've been stronger or faster or smart enough to help them before it was too late. Yet not only had they forgiven me, they had continued standing at my side.
Livia had forgiven me for upending our comparatively simple lives in the mine. My mother had forgiven me for refusing to obey her orders. So had Radulf.
Yet I was still carrying the guilt with me, like a constant burden chained to my back. Maybe it was no different from the dragon Atroxia carried everywhere with her. Atroxia's problem wasn't getting forgiveness from the empire -- that's why the vestalis said it was only the first step in removing her curse. Atroxia's problem was that she needed to forgive herself for her crimes.
As I needed to forgive myself. Because very soon I would bring in a terrible storm, igniting a battle that I might not win. I didn't want to go into the next life still chained to my guilt.
That was what I had not understood about love. What the Mistress had to teach me. Forgiveness was real, and with it came love. The vestalis had been right again.
Which was why I knew she was right about the biggest question of all. I had to break Diana's curse. It didn't work for me to try killing the dragon; that would've killed Atroxia too. Only one other choice remained. I stuck my free hand into the pocket of my tunic and brushed my finger across the smooth stone. It was only a small white rock now, but its purpose was to become the most powerful amulet in existence.
If I made it happen.
Because what I was about to do would prove to be the greatest test of my life. The test of how close I could get to the edge of a cliff before I fell into nothingness.
The problem was, the only way to know that the edge is too close is after you've already fallen.
After we crossed over Rome's city gates, we flew northward between the circus and the amphitheater, and fortunately crossed over the forums before the dragon angled downward. At first I thought the Mistress intended to land near the Tiber River, a place I dreaded for the upcoming battle. The storm would cause enough trouble without adding floodwaters to a wide river I probably still couldn't swim.
Except we weren't going as far as the river. Instead, we circled over a building with a square entrance and arched roof, but the temple portion behind it was entirely circular with a rounded roof and a large opening in the top called an oculus. This was the Pantheon, completely unique among other buildings in Rome in both design and its equal dedication to all the gods. Of course Diana would want the storm created here. She had no interest in the equality of the gods.
When we were directly overhead, the dragon suddenly dove toward the earth, sharp enough that for a moment I was sure she intended to drop me, which would've been a problem, even with the use of magic.
We entered the Pantheon through its oculus, though it was only barely wide enough for the dragon when its wings were drawn close to its body. Radulf had brought me here once before, though of course we'd come and gone through the large bronze doors like normal people. On that day, I'd stared up at the oculus for a very long time, trying to understand its purpose. Radulf told me that nobody fully understood why the oculus was created. I had thought it was an eye for the gods, a window for them to look in on their people. Now I wondered if it was something different. Maybe the entire Pantheon had only one purpose, and may
be I was the one meant to fulfill it.
Although every temple was beautiful, no other place I had ever seen was so magnificent on the inside. The Pantheon ceiling had rings of coffers inlaid with bronze sheeting. Its walls were painted in bright frescoes and decorated with red, purple, and yellow gems. A marble altar sat in the center of the room, directly beneath the oculus. It was surrounded by seven alcoves along the circular floor, each with a different statue of a god in it.
When I'd come before, I'd studied Jupiter's statue for a long time, wondering if the Jupiter Stone was real, if a person could truly survive after creating it. If the Mistress had her way, I would have the answer to that question tonight.
Apollo's statue was in another alcove, and next to him Mars and then Mercury, Saturn, and Venus. I had only strolled past Diana's statue before, refusing to pay any respect to it. Now I wished I had, for Diana controlled the moon, which shone brightly into the building. She would be watching this place tonight, knowing that, by the end, she would either have her amulet to defeat the gods or her rebellion would be over.
It likely wasn't a common occurrence for a dragon to make an appearance within the walls of the Pantheon, so as we entered, I'd expected cries from temple worshippers as they scattered from the building.
If not that, then I expected to hear Aurelia's cries. The Mistress had promised to take me to her. She had to be here. Why was it so silent?
The Mistress released me as soon as we landed on the floor of the Pantheon, then flew back into the dome, digging into the cement coffers with her claws to give herself balance.
I immediately rose to my feet and looked around for Aurelia.
"Where is she?" I asked. "You promised --"
"She's here with me." Brutus emerged from behind the statue of Jupiter, holding Aurelia by the arm. She was bound with a rag tied over her mouth, and shook her head when she saw me. It was a message, that much was clear, but I had no idea what she meant by it.
"I hope she'll forgive me for tying her this way," Brutus said. "You cannot imagine how loud that girl gets when she's angry."