Crispus continued, "There are no limits to what they will do to get control of you. Do you remember before the chariot races, when my father urged Radulf to get you out of the empire? It's not too late to leave, but soon it will be."
"Where would I go?" I shook my head. "I have nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide my family."
"I do." Crispus stepped toward me and Aurelia. "My family is very wealthy, you both know that. When it came time to choose a wife, many young women were presented to my father as desirable options. Do you know why he chose my mother?"
Aurelia smiled. "Love?"
Crispus snorted. "That was never a consideration. It was because my mother's family held vast amounts of property up north. When she was young, they came here from the northernmost border of the empire, in hopes of gaining power within Rome. However, they never abandoned the home they left behind, up in Britannia."
"Britannia?" Aurelia said. "It's wild lands up there, cold and rainy, they say."
"It's also very beautiful, but more important, it's outside the empire now. Some of Rome's recent military campaigns haven't gone well, and the borders have receded to Hadrian's Wall. My mother's family lands are beyond the walls." Crispus hesitated, as if I should've understood his meaning. When it was clear I didn't, he added, "Her land is no longer part of the empire."
I shifted my weight, trying to be sure of what he was hinting at. "My family could go to Britannia?"
"Yes. I'll bring my mother too, and Aurelia."
Aurelia, who would become his wife.
I shook my head. "Thanks for your offer, but I'll find something else for my family."
"I could order us a carriage for morning," Crispus said. "Within a short journey, we could be free, all of us."
"No, not all of us." I was so uncomfortable by now that I started backing away, just to move. "Not me."
"If Nic stays, then we've got to help him," Aurelia said to Crispus.
"It's not safe here anymore," Crispus said.
"Then it's not safe for Nic either!" Aurelia countered. "He needs our help."
"I don't want anyone's help!" I was surprised to find myself shouting. There was no reason for it. Crispus had just made a generous offer, one I knew my family should accept. And the arrangement between him and Aurelia was exactly what it had to be, for any number of reasons. But I was still shouting. "You will go with Crispus to Britannia! You belong with him there!"
Crispus exhaled. "We've got to discuss that too."
I held up my hands. "No, we don't. We could discuss it a thousand times and the answer would still be the same. If she marries you, the Praetors will leave her alone. And they will never leave me alone, not while I have magic they want."
Aurelia started in. "Nic --"
"I'll speak to my family tomorrow." I was already leaving the gardens, on a near run to escape into Radulf's home. "Thanks for your offer, Crispus. I'll have an answer for you soon."
I went inside through the stables, which took me past Radulf's baths, newly repaired from when Livia and I escaped his home once. Just to release some of my emotions, I shot a ball of magic into his tepidarium, which exploded half the water throughout the room, soaking me for the second time that day. I merely shook it off and kept walking.
"Nic, wait!" Crispus ran in behind me, though he paused when he saw the walls still dripping wet. "Everyone knows how you feel about Aurelia. Why won't you just say it?"
"What good would that do? She's promised to you."
"Only to save her life; that's all."
I turned back to him. "No, that's not all. Right after she accepted your offer, I asked her not to marry you. She would not change her mind."
His eyes widened. Apparently, he had not known that. "If not for the Praetors, I'd have released her from the promise already. You could take her."
I snorted. "As if the Praetors don't already have enough ways to manipulate me?"
"When this is over, we can sort this out, all of us together. One of us has to take Aurelia. Then I could --"
"How dare you?" Aurelia appeared through the rear doorway with her hands on both hips, and her face red as a ripe tomato. "How dare you speak of me like I'm cattle to be traded or a bargain to be negotiated?"
Crispus and I backed away from her, standing rigidly beside each other, both afraid of what she might do next.
She started with him first, marching forward to face him directly. "I don't need your protection and certainly don't want it from those foul Praetors. I hate that armband and hate that you're one of them!" Then without warning, she raised both arms and shoved Crispus backward into Radulf's bath.
I laughed only for a single second before Aurelia was in front of me. "And you! How is it that you can battle a dragon or collapse an entire building over yourself, but you lack the courage to honestly tell me your feelings?"
I glanced backward at Crispus, who was still in the water and seemed happy to remain there where it was safer. He was staring up at me, waiting for an answer.
"Well," Aurelia demanded, "do you love me or not?"
Foolish though I knew it was, I barely managed to keep a smile off my face. "If I'm being honest, then right now, I'm more afraid of you than in love with you. And I'm already wet."
Aurelia's face pinched, and she shoved me into the water too. Then she wiped her hands on her tunic and marched out of the room, muttering, "I hate you both."
When she had gone, Crispus looked at me with a mischievous grin. "That could've gone better."
We knew we were both in trouble, and each had a fair amount of work to repair our friendships with Aurelia. But not tonight. For now, we just lay in the water and laughed.
When we finally calmed down, I swam toward him and said, "You're right, my family must go to Britannia. But I will stay in Rome and end this, somehow. If you arrange a carriage to take them there, they'll leave tomorrow."
"Then I'll stay too," Crispus said. "I know Aurelia won't leave without you, and I won't leave without her. Besides, you can't do this alone, and maybe it will turn out that having a Praetor on your side is a good thing."
Maybe. But I really couldn't see how.
Over breakfast the next morning, I told Livia and my mother about Crispus's family home in Britannia.
"I won't go," Livia said. "Not until we all go together."
"I agree," Mother said. "We've been separated enough already."
Crispus was seated beside Livia and leaned forward to appeal to her first. "Nic is safer without you here. If either of you were captured by the Praetors, think of what he would give up to save you."
Mother spoke. "Then let's leave together, all of us."
I barely heard her. Atroxia had found a way into my head again, and her pleas for help were stronger than ever before. "Do not leave me here," she cried.
"It'll be safe there," Crispus said, still trying to persuade Livia. "My mother was raised in Britannia and speaks fondly of her childhood."
"Am I safe here?" Atroxia asked. "Please help me, Nicolas."
"Livia and I shouldn't travel alone," Mother said.
"Radulf is still a general," Crispus said. "He has the respect of most Romans. Even if he is not quite well enough to travel as a proper escort, he will get you there safely."
Now Atroxia's softer whispers darkened as they became the Mistress's raspy voice. "There is no safety for your family, Nicolas. Swear loyalty to me and help me use the amulets, or they will pay!"
I stood, so suddenly that my knees bumped into the table, nearly spilling my mother's drink on the table.
"What's wrong?" Livia asked. "Nic, let us help you."
"You can help me by leaving," I said. "The carriage will come to take you away soon. Gather your things."
Before they could protest any further, I hurried out the door. Aurelia had been in the atrium, refusing to come in with us. But when she saw me coming, she turned away and folded her arms. She still looked angry, but the worst she could do was push me into the atrium pond.
"I'm not speaking to you," she said.
"That's fine, but I must speak to you." I took her by the elbow and led her into a quiet wing of the atrium. "Last night, Radulf made me promise to destroy the Malice. He believes it's the only way to get the Mistress to leave me alone, to leave all of us alone."
Aurelia's fists clenched, but she was listening. "What about the bulla, and the Divine Star?"
"They're valuable, but it's the Malice she wants."
"If you destroy it, the Mistress might know you're defenseless and attack. You'll have no way of stopping her."
"Which is the best reason to keep the Malice. Without the Malice, I also never could've healed Radulf or made all three of us disappear from Diana's temple."
"Do you think Radulf is right, that if the Malice is destroyed, the Mistress will leave you alone?"
"I don't know, but he's usually right about these things."
Aurelia's nose wrinkled. "He's never right. He's the one who wanted you to find the Malice in the first place."
"That was when he had magic too. When the Mistress had him, I think she told him things that made him understand her plans for the Malice. And her plans for me." I blew out a slow breath. "Aurelia, destroying the Malice might save my life or cost me my life. Keeping the Malice could go either way as well. I don't know what is the right choice."
She shook her head. "And you want me to decide for you?"
"Of course not! I only had a question."
Her eyes narrowed. "What?"
I stepped closer to her, speaking low enough that no one other than she would hear me. "Do you want to marry Crispus? Or do you have to marry him?"
Now those blue eyes moistened, making them seem even larger than usual. "Is that really your question?"
"If you want to marry him, then you should leave with him in the carriage today. I won't follow you to Britannia, which means the Praetors won't follow either. You can have the life you want, in peace."
"And what if I'm marrying Crispus only because I have to?"
"Then you should leave with him in the carriage. And if I can, I will follow you there."
The first tear fell on her cheek. "If you can?"
"I will not come to Britannia if there is any chance of us being followed. Either I defeat the Mistress or destroy her reason for following me."
She shook her head. "Don't do this to me. How can I possibly know which is the right choice?"
"I'm not asking you to make that decision. Only to tell me if I should follow you to Britannia."
Her shoulders fell. "Crispus knows how I feel. How is it that you still don't?"
I smiled back and took her hand. "Come with me."
"Where are we going?"
"We're going to destroy the Malice!"
I hoped Aurelia wouldn't ask how I intended to destroy the Malice, because the truth was, I didn't know. Yes, I had threatened to do it when the Praetors wanted it, but that was only a threat.
I had told them that as a creation of the gods, the Malice could be destroyed only by another of their creations -- the bulla. It had seemed logical then and still seemed like my best chance. But it also felt similar to the idea of Rome putting its two finest gladiators into the arena for a battle to the death. Anything could happen. I was nervous about the kind of damage that might accompany my plan.
For that reason, Aurelia and I walked far out into Radulf's open fields, as far as possible from any homes or people.
"Where should I stand?" For about the tenth time since we started walking, Aurelia tugged at her tunic. It was one of the rare times I'd ever seen her look this nervous.
"Stand behind me, as far as you can," I said. "I won't let anything get past me." Or at least, I would try. Bringing her out here wasn't the best idea, but I wanted someone nearby in case this experiment went badly.
She helped me unlace the Malice, standing so close while she did that I could barely concentrate. If this succeeded, my connection with the Mistress would end. I would return to Radulf's home and join them all in the carriage to leave the empire. I'd be free, and my family would be safe.
I laid the Malice on a rock, then walked far from it, gathering magic from the bulla into my hands as I did. I felt the loss of the Malice's magic, but not so long ago, the bulla had given me more than enough magic on its own. If anything on this earth could destroy that Malice, it would be the bulla.
I took a quick glance back at Aurelia, who was very far behind me. Hopefully, it was enough distance. She stared at me with a grim smile. "Don't blow yourself up," she called.
That seemed like good advice, and I nodded to her, then returned my attention to the Malice. I closed my eyes and continued collecting magic, willing it into my chest and arms, down into my fingertips where I felt added weight when I moved them. The bulla was hot enough that it burned against my chest with the same fire that the Mistress had breathed onto me two nights ago. I had never before felt so much power within me. Now was the time to act.
I thrust out my hands, sending everything forward in a great ball of magic. I tried to keep it as focused as possible, aiming for the Malice and nothing more. The magic released from me as all my strength emptied in an instant, and I collapsed to the ground. Behind me, Aurelia cried out my name, but it was cut short by the sound of an explosion that seemed to shake the whole empire.
Great pieces of earth shot up into the air, so high that they became lost against the light of the morning sun. I was unable to move, so I only watched them fall in huge chunks around me, covering me in dirt. I hoped none of them got as far back as Aurelia, because if they did, I couldn't help her. The ground quaked beneath us, shuddering as if a giant had been sleeping below and decided to roll over. From as far away as I could hear, shouts of alarm sounded through the military camps, warning soldiers of an earthquake, or perhaps another Pompeii.
And then suddenly, it all went silent.
I was still flat on my back and half-covered in dirt when Aurelia ran up and helped me into a sitting position.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
At first I wasn't sure how to answer. I had given that explosion everything I had and felt the loss of strength down to my core. So although I still wasn't sure I could sit up on my own, I wasn't injured, and she seemed fine too.
"That was terrifying ... and amazing," she said. "But mostly terrifying. I didn't know you were capable of anything that big."
"Big" failed to describe what I had done. The crater from my explosion was larger than Radulf's home. Lines of separated earth ran outward from the crater in three places, wide enough that bridges would need to be built to span them. Whole trees in every direction for as far as I could see had toppled over on their sides. If I had done this within a mile of any buildings, they also would've collapsed.
"Even having seen it, I can still hardly believe it," Aurelia said. "I'm sure it easily destroyed the Malice."
Nothing with magic was ever easy. If there was any lesson I'd learned since the first spark appeared in my shoulder, it was that. "We need to see what's left of the Malice before we can be sure," I said.
I started to my feet but faltered. Aurelia pressed me down, then said, "Let me look. You probably can't even walk."
I could walk but, admittedly, not well. This was the very reason I had asked her to come with me.
She tiptoed to the edge of the crater, paused to look back at me, then descended into its base. I didn't like not being able to see her anymore and hoped the dirt wouldn't collapse into the crater's steep walls on top of her.
After one minute, she hadn't returned. "Aurelia?" I called.
There was no answer, so I forced myself to my feet, then stumbled toward the crater. I didn't want to get too close to the edge or I'd fall in, and I knew it'd be a while until I could get out again. However, Aurelia was in the exact center of it, crouched over with her head down. Studying the remains of the Malice, I hoped.
But when she looked up at me, the light had dimme
d in her eyes. She reached down and lifted the Malice where I could see it. The silver was as bright as ever, and as far as I could tell, there wasn't a single scratch or dent anywhere on the amulet. The whole of my magic had merely given it a good polish.
I sat on the edge of the crater, letting my legs dangle over the edge. "I couldn't have hit it any harder," I said. "That was all I had."
"Maybe it can't be destroyed," she said.
"Not by the bulla. But if I had stronger magic --"
"If you had stronger magic, you'd explode half the empire, judging by what you've done here." She began climbing up the crater's side. "Even if the Malice can't be destroyed, it could be sent into hiding somewhere. Like the bulla was buried in the mines, you could bury this."
"Until it's found one day, and the Praetor War begins again? No, it must be destroyed." I shook my head. "We both know the answer. I need Jupiter's magic."
Aurelia's eyes widened. "That cannot be an option!"
"What if it's the only option? Hiding the Malice just delays the war. Keeping it means I'll spend the rest of my days defending against whoever wants it next -- the emperor, the Praetors, the Mistress. I must find a way to destroy it."
"We just have to keep thinking." Aurelia finally reached the top of the steep crater and sat beside me. "We'll figure this out."
She started to hand me the Malice, but we were interrupted by the sound of hooves approaching us. Crispus was on his horse, galloping at top speed and with a face in focused concentration. Slightly ahead of him, Livia rode on Callistus, and as soon as she spotted us, she called out my name.
"Nic, you must hurry!"
Aurelia got to her feet first. Even knowing something was very wrong, I was still slow to stand. But Aurelia ran through the wide crater to meet Crispus and Livia on the other side.
If they noticed the wreckage around us, that only lasted for a moment before they remembered the reason they had come.
Crispus leapt from his horse before it had fully halted, shouting, "They came sooner than I thought! Decimas Brutus is at Radulf's home, along with a large number of Praetors. They intend to arrest your grandfather!"
"What?" That got me hurrying faster through the crater. "On what charges?"
"Treason to the empire," Livia said.
My anger focused on Crispus. "You didn't tell me they'd come today!"