“Because you lost the last person you did rely on.” He understood that. It was a fear Ryan could easily chase away. “You won’t lose me, Kenna. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yes, you are.” Her smile was sad. “Because there’s no mating bond.” There was nothing at all there. But she would not cry. Even though her throat ached, her chest was painfully tight, and her world was fucking falling apart, she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She wouldn’t guilt him into staying with her. He didn’t deserve that.
“That’s because you’re holding something else back.”
Cold all of a sudden, she hugged herself as she shook her head. “No, Ryan, I’m not. That’s the only fear standing in the way of me ever accepting a mate.”
Ryan advanced on her, gripping her hips when she tried to back away. “If that had been the only thing jamming the frequency, the mating urge would have kicked in by now.”
“Only if we were true mates.”
“We are,” he growled.
“There’s no mating bond, Ryan. I don’t feel it, and neither do you. There’s nothing there.”
“Then something else is jamming it.”
“There is nothing else! You were wrong!” She shoved at his chest, but he didn’t budge an inch.
“I know I’m not wrong. If I was, we’d be at least partially imprinted by now.” The vulnerability in her expression made him want to punch something. “Look at the facts, Kenna. Imprinting can happen without the conscious decision of the couple. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you. I told you before, I’d kill to have you. When I say you belong to me, I fucking mean it. Nothing and no one will ever take you from me. You can’t feel that way about someone who isn’t your mate and not imprint on them unless you mean nothing to them.” He didn’t know what Makenna felt for him, but he believed she felt something.
“Imprinting would never happen for us. Not given your feelings about it.”
He frowned at her, not understanding.
“Growing up, you saw how it can go wrong. Your parents made themselves and you miserable. If they had just waited for their true mates—”
“Their relationship isn’t bad because they’re not true mates. It’s because they didn’t work at it. Instead of trying to fix their problems, they constantly lashed out at each other. Gwen blames just about everything and everyone for her unhappiness. She constantly tells him she wishes she’d waited for her true mate. Galen just laughs and dares her to leave, even though her words hurt him. They poisoned their own relationship.”
Ryan could see that his answer had knocked her off balance. Apparently, Marcus was right: she’d thought his past would stop him from ever imprinting on someone. He rested his forehead against hers. “There is a mating bond. We just can’t feel it.” He didn’t understand why. Maybe he was the one jamming it. But he believed with every breath in his body that it was there. When he saw that she was about to object, he said, “Even if I’m wrong, it doesn’t change that you’re mine and I’m keeping you.”
He kissed her, pouring his hunger and resolve into it so she’d feel and taste his sincerity. She kissed him back, but there was a hesitance to it. His mate was holding herself back from him. He’d never tolerate that. Collaring her throat, he hardened the kiss, dominating and consuming and owning. Claws pricked his arms, warning him not to push too far. Ryan growled. He’d push as hard as he damn well had to until she understood and accepted that she was his.
Makenna told herself to pull back, to walk away. She’d gambled and she’d lost. He wasn’t hers to kiss or touch. In objection, her wolf raked Makenna with her claws. Well, the wolf could fuck off. There was no changing the situation. If there were a mating bond, they would have felt it by now. It was as simple as that.
Was she surprised that Ryan argued against her point? No. He was too freaking stubborn to admit he was wrong. So stubborn that he’d continue to hang around for months and months, waiting for the nonexistent bond to make an appearance. That wasn’t fair to either of them. It was possible that all that time together would spark the imprinting process—the selfish part of her wanted to grab that opportunity with both hands. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that she would be stealing him from what fate had in store, from someone better suited to him.
Yet, she didn’t fight him when he took her to the ground and draped himself over her. She didn’t object when he pushed up her dress and settled between her thighs. Didn’t tell him to stop when he snapped off her panties and slipped a finger between her folds.
Once more, she told herself. She’d have him once more. Then she’d let go what was never hers to begin with.
Ryan should have been relieved when she suddenly threw herself into the kiss and arched into his hand, but it felt wrong. He’d been balls deep in Makenna more times than he could count. She could be defiant, mischievous, and wild in bed. But the way she clung to him now . . . there was something desperate about it.
“This isn’t a farewell fuck, Makenna.” Her eyes turned glossy with unshed tears. “Don’t cry,” he growled. He couldn’t be sensitive or patient right then. He was pissed at her for being willing to walk away. Pissed at the bond for being just out of his reach.
“I’m not who fate gave you.”
“You think I give a fuck about fate? I make my own decisions. I choose my own path. I choose you.” To punctuate that, he drove a finger inside her. He grunted as her claws dug into his back.
“You wouldn’t find that so easy to say if you weren’t convinced we were mates.”
Yes, he would. Ryan didn’t care about her because she was his mate; he cared about her because she was Makenna. Strong, brave, protective, loyal, playful, and a little crazy. She was under his skin, and there would be no getting her out. “You and me . . . There’s no going back, Kenna.” He twisted his hand, rubbing her G-spot. Bucking, she gasped into his mouth. “You don’t get to walk away.”
She bit down on her lip as he shoved a second finger inside her. Despite the topic of conversation, she was wet and aching for him. That didn’t surprise her. Her body always responded to him, was even turned on by being pinned down with his body weight. “It’s you who’ll walk away.”
“Why would I walk away?” He tugged down the top of her dress just enough to bare her breasts. The material bunched up beneath them, raising them to his mouth.
Her breath caught in her throat as his tongue curled around her nipple. “When you realize you’re wrong, you’ll—”
“Makenna, you’re not fucking hearing me.” This had nothing to do with whether he was right or wrong. “No matter what, you belong to me.” Withdrawing his fingers, he pulled off his T-shirt and snapped open his fly. His cock sprang out, heavy and throbbing. He needed to be in her, dominating her, driving home the truth. Ryan grabbed her hips and eased a little of his cock inside her. “Arms above your head.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
“You don’t get to touch what’s not yours.” He almost smiled at her growl. “You’re mine, Makenna. Make no mistake about it. I own you. I’m going to take what I own. Are you going to accept that? Are you going to accept that I’m yours?” She didn’t respond. “Then put your hands above your head.” She did as he ordered—but very, very slowly.
“Good girl.” He lapped at a mark on her neck as he moved in and out of her with slow, deep thrusts. She felt so fucking good. Smelled so fucking good. Every one of his senses was filled with her and on drunk her. “Can you feel how tight your pussy squeezes me, Kenna?” He nipped her throat. “Like it never wants me to leave. That’s what scares you, doesn’t it? That I’ll leave.” He hiked one of her legs up higher, allowing him to go even deeper. “I told you I won’t. Don’t you trust me?”
She fisted her hands in the grass. “I know you’d keep your word if I asked for it.”
Ryan got it then. She worried he’d find out they weren’t mates but stay with her anyway . . . merely because he’d sworn he would. He could understand th
at. He wouldn’t want her to be with him for the wrong reasons. He was about to say as much, but then she tried to move her arms. “No.”
That one word vibrated with authority and power. It impressed her wolf. And it triggered that defiant switch in Makenna’s brain. She snarled, “I want—”
“I know what you want.” For him to fuck her rough and fast. “But you can’t have it.”
So Makenna fought him. She kicked, shoved, and struggled to be free, but the bastard pressed more of his weight on her and collared her throat. The dominant hold was firm and tight, but not tight enough to hurt. Just tight enough to remind her who he thought was in charge right then. It was instinctive to freeze. “Let. Go.”
He thrust hard. “What’s wrong, Kenna? Is this too slow for you? You want it faster?” She just grunted her assent. “Tough. I’ll fuck this pussy however I want. Because it belongs to me.” He lunged deep once, twice. “Now . . . hands above your head.”
Not at all intimidated, Makenna fought him again. Well, she tried. It was kind of hard to fight someone when you could barely move and there was a strong hand wrapped around your throat. But she didn’t give up—biting, scratching, and squirming. His grip on her throat flexed just enough to make her wheeze a little. When she stilled, his thumb drew a soothing, almost rewarding circle.
“Stop fighting me, Kenna.” Ryan punched his hips hard, and her pussy tightened almost painfully around his cock. “You’re mine, and I’m yours. Accept it.” Another punch of his hips. “Fucking accept it.”
Makenna bit his chin. Not breaking skin, just cautioning him. “There’s no mating bond. Accept that.”
He had to admire her spirit. “Maybe there isn’t.” Of course, he didn’t believe that for even a second. “But we’ll be mated, Kenna, one way or the other.” If that meant imprinting, fine. He didn’t give a damn how they bonded just as long as they did. He refused to give her up. “Or are you going to lie and tell me you don’t want that?” He licked and sipped at her mouth. “Lie, Kenna. Do it. I dare you.” She didn’t, and he rewarded her with two hard thrusts. “See, we both want the same thing. All you have to do is reach out and take it.”
He made it sound so simple. And so very tempting that Makenna felt herself wavering, especially while her wolf was urging her to claim him. If he wanted to take the chance and forsake his mate, that was his choice, right? It wasn’t like she was taking advantage of someone naïve and dimwitted. He was a big boy, quite capable of making his own decisions. He fully understood the choice he was making and all the issues around it. He wasn’t impulsive, which meant he’d thought this through. Still . . . “You have to be sure. You have to be one hundred percent positive that I’m who you want, no matter what.”
Ryan slid both hands into her hair, pinning her with his gaze. “You’re all I want. All I’ll ever want.” He circled his hips. “You’re mine, and I’m yours. Say it.” He thrust with an impatient growl. “Fucking say it.”
Makenna inhaled deeply, tired of fighting him—tired of fighting herself and her wolf too. He’d made his choice. Fuck fate. “I’m yours, and you’re mine.” Triumph, satisfaction, and naked possessiveness glinted in his rarely expressive eyes. Then all thoughts were sucked from her brain as he began to violently hammer in and out of her. “Fuck.” She held tight, claws digging so deep into his shoulders that she drew blood. A growl of approval rumbled in his chest. So she raked her claws over his back deep enough to leave permanent brands.
Ryan paused only long enough to hook her legs over his shoulders, and then he was pounding into her again—deeper this time, so deep he knew it hurt her a little. Her pussy tightened, bathing his cock in cream, and she arched into every thrust.
Fisting her hair, he yanked her head aside to expose her throat. He licked and sucked at the spot on her neck he’d chosen, letting her know what was coming. Then he bit. Sank his teeth down hard, tasting blood. Makenna’s pussy squeezed and fluttered around him as she came, screaming. All the while, he licked and sucked at the bite, making it a definitive brand that would be recognized for exactly what it was—a claiming mark.
Ryan grunted as Makenna reared up and bit the crook of his neck. No, she wasn’t just biting him; she was marking him. Claiming him right back. That knowledge threw him right over the fucking edge. Tightening his fist in her hair, he jammed his cock deep and exploded inside his mate.
Boneless, Makenna lay with her eyes closed as her body was racked by little aftershocks. Ryan was irrevocably hers now, and that knowledge warmed every part of her. Still, the whole thing was bittersweet, because there was no bond to accompany the claiming. The absence of it was a physical ache. The only thing that eased it was the knowledge that the imprinting process would now surely begin.
Letting her legs slide from his shoulders, Ryan licked at the fresh bite as his now-relaxed wolf rumbled in satisfaction. It was higher on her neck than most claiming marks were. He wanted it to be the first thing she noticed every morning; wanted everyone who looked at her to know she was taken. “Now you can’t ever again argue that you belong to me.”
She frowned. “Actually—”
“Don’t dare even try it,” he warned her. But she was laughing. He nipped her jaw.
“Hey!”
He rolled onto his back, taking her with him so she sprawled on top of him. “Then don’t tease me.”
“But it’s fun.”
He grunted.
“Yes, it is. You have to admit, you wouldn’t want me any other way.”
Ryan frowned. “Actually—”
“Fuck you, White Fang.” She chuckled. Then she gave her wolf what the animal had wanted for a long time.
The woman could shift fast, thought Ryan as he suddenly had a beautiful silver wolf standing over him. He stroked her neck as she licked his jaw. A butterfly flew in their direction, snatching her attention. The wolf chased it, trying to swat it with her paw. Apparently she was easily distracted. That assumption was proven when the sound of a bee had her whirling, searching for the insect. Ryan almost smiled. His wolf lunged for the surface, wanting time with his mate. Ryan retreated and gave it to him.
Seeing that her mate had shifted, the female playfully snapped her teeth and bounded away. The male raced through the trees, following the scent of his mate. She was fast. But he was faster. Could track her anywhere. Soon she was in his sight. The male wolf knew there was a stream ahead. Knew she would have to turn. He took another path; came at her from the front.
The female didn’t halt as her mate neared. Didn’t try to skirt him. She pounced with a bark, knocked him to the ground. He got to his feet. Alert. Still. She didn’t like that. Her snarl was a taunt; she wanted to play. She’d teach him how.
The male followed her lead. They wrestled. Tumbled each other to the ground. Playfully bit, licked, and clawed. Then he mounted her, biting her nape. Claimed her as his mate just as his human had. The male wolf understood there should be a mating bond. Was confused that he didn’t feel it. Urged his human half to find it.
As Ryan and Makenna returned to their human skin, sprawled side by side, he promised his wolf he’d clear whatever jammed the frequency of the mating bond. Nothing got to stand between him and his mate. Nothing.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ryan wasn’t on duty the next morning, but he still woke at his usual hour thanks to his internal clock. And there was his mate. She always looked young in her sleep. Deceptively harmless.
The claiming bite on her neck caught his eye, filling him with a masculine satisfaction he doubted could ever be equaled. It was official now. Makenna Wray was no longer the person he was trying to convince was his mate; she was his mate. There was no going back, only forward.
It bothered him that she still didn’t believe they were true mates. But nowhere near as much as before, because it meant she’d chosen him—not because fate paired them, but because she cared. From Makenna’s perspective, she’d forsaken her true mate to be with Ryan, to claim him and allow him to cla
im her in return. A person wouldn’t do that unless they cared deeply.
If the situation were reversed, he would have done the same. Like he told her, she was all he wanted, all he’d ever want. He couldn’t imagine anyone else fitting him the way she did.
He wasn’t lacking in self-insight. He knew he was so emotionally disconnected that he depended too much on facts. He knew he could be much too serious and didn’t know how to enjoy himself. Makenna balanced him out. Made him see the emotional connotations of situations, allowing him to look at things from different perspectives. She forced him to play, to joke, and to not take things too seriously.
Just the same, Ryan balanced her out. Makenna could be so blinded by emotion that she didn’t always consider things from outside the box. By pointing out the facts, he pushed her to do so. Also, although Makenna’s playful and mischievous nature wasn’t a bad thing, those traits manifested themselves into a need to provoke and antagonize whenever she was annoyed. Ryan made her consider the consequences of her actions—the lesson was slow going, but he had hope.
Additionally, whereas Ryan felt little empathy, Makenna felt way too much. So much so that she put others first, living more for the shelter than she did for herself. Ryan would never allow that. He would force her to see her own worth, just as she taught him to see his. He’d always felt like he had something to prove, that he needed to earn his worth. She never made him feel that way. Never complained about how tactless he was or how few pretty words he gave her. Nor did she criticize or judge him for being so emotionally disconnected.
They complemented and strengthened each other, fit too well to not be true mates. The rest of the pack agreed. They hadn’t been at all surprised when he and Makenna went for dinner last night, claimed and mated. But they had been shocked as all shit to hear there was no mating bond. It was fiercely bothering the females.
Makenna’s eyelids fluttered open, and it was only then he realized he’d been circling her claiming mark with his thumb. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”