Page 26 of J R


  —What’s the difference if it says that they got my signature off this here little coupon where it said signature on it didn’t they?

  —Okay boy but if this here bank finds out the class puts money in some account where you take it out to piss away on this debunture crap and they find out you kept this here clock boy you’re in . . .

  —We got a clock! We already got a clock right up by the door in the classroom and I mean holy shit who said I’m taking any money that’s not what you do! I mean didn’t you ever see these things where they say come right in and borrow up to a hundred percent of your passbook balance while it goes right on earning these top dividends and all? So whose business is it if I just start this other account and loan against this here first one where they already have my signature so they know it’s me, I mean it’s just different electric numbers on these checks and all which this computer reads them it doesn’t give a shit if you’re three years old just if the money’s there, I mean that’s all Mary Lou honey that’s all this Mister Wall that’s all these here forks that’s all any of it is don’t tell me I did something against the law boy, that’s just what you do! I mean this here class account I just loan against it and get through this here forks deal I never even touched it right?

  —Okay okay! but I mean you’re yelling about this here class account the class doesn’t have shit you can’t loan shit off it, I mean you’re yelling about some check what check, this here fifteen cents that guy said you will see our earnings reflected in your dividend on this here one lousy share of . . .

  —Yeah well that’s how much you know boy, I mean what do you think that guy meant with the glasses where you get to make them give you these here damages if you catch them screwing up these by-laws someplace even with this here one lousy share and besides . . .

  —You think Mrs Joubert’s going to let you do that boy? I mean I never heard such a bunch of . . .

  —Why should she know about it, I mean she never put in any money to buy this here share did she? Besides . . .

  —No but I mean are you going to get in trouble boy, and this here Major Sheets I mean if he finds out how you’re doing this dumb forks deal he’s really going to boot your ass boy you better . . .

  —What’s the difference! he came on kicking up bursts of leaves from the gutter—what does he care, I mean like you go in some shoestore someplace do you go around asking the manager and everybody where’d they get all these shoes? did they have to loan money off some bank to start up their store and how old are they? I mean what’s the difference if it’s me that loans money off some bank on this forks deal they get their lousy forks don’t they?

  —Okay boy but you better . . .

  —Wait duck hey there’s Coach, I’m going in by east seven . . .

  —So what, he’s full of . . .

  —No for later I don’t want him looking for me, I’m taking off at gym for when that late mail comes boy if this here check isn’t . . .

  —Okay but you better watch out hey . . . came blown after him,—I mean is Mrs Joubert going to be pissed off if she finds out you been shitting around with our share of America . . . and the leaves came on, swirling for the doors, trampled into the corridor.—Hey you guys . . .!

  —Where’s Buzzie hey, they said he has some of the little red ones for a quarter . . .

  —Somebody said the boys’ room after math, is Mrs Joubert here today hey?

  —How do I know, what’s the difference . . .

  —This here report we’re suppose to do did you do it? Where we went to see that big guy with all the heads that shot that pig and all?

  —What pig boy, the best one was that impala with those long skinny horns like.

  —Impala shit. Impala’s a car.

  —So? it’s named after the car, what’s so great about that.

  —It’s name’s a kudu anyway it said right on it.

  —Kudu shit, who’d buy a car called a kudu . . .

  A bell rang, lockers banged, clocks clipped away identical minutes out of each other’s sight round corners, down corridors where the tide of sweat rose as lockers banged, bells rang, the door marked Boys slammed, slammed.—Come on back by the mops, you got those little red ones?

  —No I got these green ones, they’re the same only you need three.

  —How much.

  —Half a buck all three.

  —What’s the yellow one.

  The door slammed.—Shhh, that’s like Buzzie had they really . . .

  —Shhh . . .

  The door slammed.

  —Come to join me in a leak, Whiteback? I’m treating.

  —Oh Coach, I’ve been ahm, looking for you . . .

  —Doing business right here at the same old stand . . . there was a prolonged flush.

  —Yes that ahm, I wanted to ask you about that new curricular material you were developing for us in terms of the ahm . . .

  —Just finishing it I’ll drop it off on your desk, sort of a preliminary sketch, give these youngsters a picture of how the old box really works.

  —Yes well of course you wouldn’t need to describe things quite so ahm, crudely, to help them see things at the ahm, at the visual level that is to . . .

  —That’s right, the scanning process, that’s the heart of the whole thing, Whiteback. How the old box operates.

  —Yes developed along the lines of your ahm, your body engine concept utilizing the ahm, the utilization potential of ahm . . . there was a succession of quick flushes—old parts that is to say . . . he raised his eyes,—structuring the material in terms of . . .

  —Just need to get across the way this complicated circuit of horizontal and vertical deflection coils makes the old box operate.

  —Yes well of course that should ahm, that approach should help eliminate the offensive human element in this ahm, in this area of ahm, Dan’s wife, ljust talked to Dan’s wife about it that is to say and you might develop something with her when he’s felt her ahm, her out . . .

  —Kind of you to think of me Whiteback but I won’t count on it . . . the door slammed behind them,—once he’s felt her out he’ll probably start wondering who’s kissing her now.

  —Yes well I don’t quite ahm, he’s right here in my office if you want to discuss her ahm, her now that is to say . . . the door marked Principal quavered,—Coach . . .? it bunged hollow behind him.—Dan? I thought Coach was right behind me here he wants to discuss your wife’s ahm, yes well he’d better explain it himself you’ve met Mister Stye? Dan runs all our testing Mister Stye he’s our resident psycho ahm, keeps an eye on tangibilitating the full utilization potential of our student ahm, body yes student body Major you’ve met Mister Major Hyde yes, Major Hyde . . . and the flurry of pastels subsided as hands seized hands at arms’ lengths,—we thought Mister Stye might look alike at the ahm, like a look at your drivers’ ed tapes Dan . . .

  —I didn’t know they were on they’re, what class would be watching them now I thought they . . .

  —Elementary Dan the, help motivate the elementary youngsters’ potential carwise that is to say, potentiate them for a real meaningful driving experience when they’re big enough to get out and hit the, hit our nation’s highways yes of course that’s what Mister Stye here . . .

  —Mister Stye is connected with one of our prominent insurance companies, Dan. Hyde massed against the desk weighting its corner with a discreetly herringboned web of creases where his legs met, and knocked a telephone from its cradle.—Get another phone, Whiteback?

  —I had a line put in to the bank, for calls I get at the bank . . . catching light from nowhere, his lenses went blank as he retrieved it—keeping the fish and fowl separate you might say, separate the sheep and the ahm . . .

  —Mister Whiteback heads up the bank here you know Mister Stye, sort of doubles in brass, gives him a real surefooted grasp of community affairs, kind of a grandstand view of both sides of the coin I’m sure Mister Stye knows what I’m talking about Whiteback, probably sees it a
t the corporate level all the time just like I do.

  —Yes he’s ahm, Mister Stye that is to say Dan, he’s shown an interest in running for the school board.

  —That can be a pretty thankless proposition, I guess you’re aware of that Mister Stye but you take a company like mine, they’re glad to see their people in working for community and civic betterment right at the decision making level I’m on company time right now in fact, trying to help Whiteback here solve a little space problem with this new equipment coming in.

  —We thought we could use your advice on it Dan, the . . .

  —Language labs? His lips broke their silent concert with those on the silent screen recalling the emergency brake, how and when employed.—The language labs have come?

  —Not quite Dan more the enrichment ahm, in the motivational resources area where’s that list, marriage, potentiate these girls to make marriage a more meaningful experience when they get out and hit the, I had that list a minute ago . . .

  —But that’s still in the decision mamaking stage, equipment for the sex education program we haven’t even . . .

  —Right Dan I just talked to Vogel about it, he’s working up something on his body engine concept as soon as he’s out of electrical circuitry said he’d drop a copy on my desk yes, structuring the material in terms of, out of old parts, he ahm, here, here it is. Washing machine, dryer, stove electric, stove gas, dishwasher, vacuum cleaner . . .

  —We’re talking about appliances Dan, home appliances.

  —Hair dryer . . .

  —Home ec Mister Stye, give these little future homemakers a shot at . . .

  —Implementing unplanlessness in the . . .

  —Day they step out of school they’ll know what they want, Mister Stye here knows what I’m talking about. That ad your company runs with the empty chair at the head of the dinner table? One look at that and your little homemaker really puts on the clamps, take that what was his name that shot the president over a washing machine . . .

  —But this equipment, I don’t remember this equipment in the budget.

  —Matter of fact Dan it’s all coming to us, all this modern equipment is coming to us courtesy of a subsiderary of the company Major Hyde here is connected with.

  —But where’s all this equipment going?

  —Resource materials Dan, we can set this home ec motivational center you might call it, set it up in the south annex there . . .

  —But adult ed is there, the Great Books program and . . .

  —Adult ed, where is it, adult ed, I just saw it . . . he tugged under the web of wrinkles,—here. Home catering and slipcover making, that’s it. We can put it all in east seven, east seven, where is it, to implement the, fit a whole washing machine in the space the Great Books take here it is, east seven, we’ve got the, it looks like we’ve got the retreads in there now, the . . .

  —Retards that’s supposed to be, that’s the . . .

  —Retards, right. A little trouble with your machine printout here Dan. Retards.

  —Dan’s been having a lot of trouble with his holes, an old story to you and me of course Stye, the minute you hook the corporate process into a computer, testing, evaluating these, look. Set your little retreads up in business over here in north seven and then . . .

  —But that’s where the equipment’s stored, the teaching equipment we bought last year we can’t just . . .

  —Fine, it can all go right down to the . . .

  —Wait though you can’t store delicate equipment like that just anywhere, it needs controlled temperature and humidity till we unpack it and use it.

  —Utilize it, right, and . . .

  —Not quite Dan, open one case of that equipment of yours, unpack one teaching machine you’ll have every teacher in the district in here with a sledgehammer, Mister Stye here knows what I’m talking about. Anything to dramatize the issue, that’s all your teachers are looking for here Whiteback, something to pounce on.

  —As a matter of fact it’s already ahm, I thought Dan might be some help to us on this as a matter of fact. She, his wife, your wife that is to say Dan, orientationwise that is, I understand she’s ahm motivating factor there activationwise, she’s probably talked to you about it.

  —To me? About what.

  —This strike threat over firing that young Best was his name? With the Mozart . . .

  —That’s what I’m talking about Whiteback, dramatize the issue. Fire him and you’ll have the whole outfield behind you running interference, there’s too much milksop management sitting back in the defense zone while the opposition marches up to the basket and drops one in. Let us carry the ball for a change, I know Vern’s with me on this one. Put the ball over in their court for a change.

  —If he doesn’t have tenure he . . .

  —Tenure? He doesn’t even have a certificate, but the . . .

  —A little problem with one of these artistic types Stye, he got up on our open-circuit system here and passed out his foulmouthed opinions on some of our great classic musicians, came in on a Foundation gravy train, Stye knows what I mean.

  —He was a composer yes, writes music you might say we ahm, we tried to integrate him into, tie him in that is to say, into a grant request as part of a cultural resource pilot program aimed at deepening the cultural aspects of the arts in ahm, in depth yes . . .

  —Composer in residence he called himself.

  —Yes well he didn’t, he didn’t actually live here of course, he’s right under here somewhere I just signed it, under the Foundation grant that is, Bast. Here it is, that’s his name, Bast. A hundred fifty-two fifteen and he hasn’t shown up to collect it, call his house even his mother doesn’t know where he is, Dan? This Bast, have you seen him?

  —He was, I heard there was a field trip to New York he helped out on yes but my wife . . .

  —Horned in on probably, my boy’s had trouble with him.

  —That field trip, yes, six J. There was something about train tickets, one of the youngsters turned in a lot of train tickets for refund, they’re right here somewhere . . .

  —Quite the little musician, Stye, trumpet, nothing pansy, said he wouldn’t let him play the Call to the Colors. Just let one of your patriotic groups get hold of that, Whiteback.

  —Yes they’ve, one of them’s been in touch with Pecci, Assemblyman Pecci that is to say some Defamation League I think it is, he departed from the curriculum quite severely, some reference to superstitious Italians yes you may know Mister, Assemblyman Pecci, running for Senator Mister Stye?

  —He’s a good man to know Stye, very close to the community here I expected him this morning in fact Whiteback, clear up a few points on that proposition thirteen he’s introducing . . .

  —He’s busy with the, out activating his SOS campaign, the SOS for Mario campaign that is to . . .

  —SOS? Sounds a little negative PRwise, SOS . . .

  —Stamp Out Smut.

  —Smut, let me tell you what my boy got in the mail Stye, sent away for a ball glove and wait, wait turn that up will you Dan? The sound, turn up the sound.

  ——of our share in America, it says this is to certify that class six J is the owner of one share of no par common stock of . . .

  —Sixth grade Mister Stye, they . . .

  —Look. Look what they’re holding up, look. A stock certificate, see? Diamond Cable, that’s my parent company Stye, youngsters pitched in and bought a share of Diamond Cable as a share in America that’s my boy there, the one back there by the flag want to turn that sound down a little Dan? As I was saying, this man Pecci is a good man to know, he’s a good friend of this district what part of the district is Mister Stye in, Whiteback?

  —Right there on the border with district thirteen, out past the Dunkin Donuts location . . .

  —A smart move Stye, really smart. That’s where they’re talking about locating the new Cultural Center, right out in that area, a new shopping center ready to go up right there where the highways cross nothing
there now but a couple of empty old houses and woods, I drove by there this morning, have you seen that new sign Coming Soon, Mister Custard? That highway’s next on the list to be widened when they clean up Burgoyne Street here, you can see why it’s a natural for a Cultural Center.

  —This is Gottlieb’s daughter, remind me to call him.

  ——America. Mongst the giants of money and finance gainst the sky so high, kneels the little church so shy, it whispers I am . . .

  —You want to turn that sound down a little Dan? He knows what we’re talking about, Whiteback, somebody connected with wait, turn that sound up a little Dan?

  ——We had a trip which was very interesting for our share of America to a man which mainly collects animals he having killed them his gun is manlicker the noted sports rifle, muzzle velocity two thousand eight hundred feet a second this noted sports rifle can kill up to the elephant, the hearty beast having killed his dogs all animals looking very lifelike which he stuffed having killed them . . .

  —Sixth grade Mister Stye, orientationwise . . .

  —Yes, well, gets right to the facts and that visual, nothing pansy about that, the, want to turn that sound down just a little now Dan? The ah, as I was saying . . .

  ——I am the song the Brahmin sings and when he flies man, I am the . . .

  —Yes that ahm, visual might be misinterpreted . . .

  —As I was saying Stye, this whole Cultural Center project, we’re thinking of tying it right in with the school Spring Arts Festival in the spring, expanding it a little with a few remote specials on the itv that will get across the remote capabilities of microwave transmission with a good dependable cable system, get the patriotic theme in there. Whiteback?

  —Yes the ahm, this boy who turned in all the train tickets where are they yes, something about a lost child . . .

  ——the thing of our company share in America is not just to own but to use, that is the thing of a share as investment capital money works for you all the time by other people do the work of the company you are not even there you just own, how you own is that you . . .