Page 6 of The Hawk: Part Six


  It wasn’t until Tuesday that Laurie realized something was altered with the Snyders. Their first day back he’d been so glad for their return that all he could do was hold Jane and talk with her parents. Laurie had taken that Monday off from work, wanting time with that family without Stanford milling about. As much as Laurie loved that man, sometimes Stan’s stiffness was a pain in the neck.

  On their second day home, as Laurie thought of it, he saw a different fatigue edging Lynne’s demeanor. She walked more slowly, looked weary, but a warm joy blurred those slightly ragged edges. Laurie wondered if that was due to spending so much time with Agatha’s family, whom he had never actually met. When Lynne left the room, usually to change Jane or put her to sleep, Laurie pondered how neither he nor Stanford had even interacted with Agatha’s relatives. But as soon as Lynne returned, Laurie was distracted from his thoughts, for the Lynne Snyder that came back from Queens was definitely not the same woman as before.

  Laurie also noted a difference in Eric’s mood, but perhaps that was due to the new series about which he couldn’t stop speaking. Not even Sam’s illness could cast a pall on all the work Eric had lined up for when he returned home. While the subject matter had made Stanford roll his eyes, he had also lit up from Eric’s enthusiasm, mostly shared on Monday evening after Agatha had left for the day. Laurie had been greatly relieved to see Stan so animated and he wanted to share that with the Snyders, how their visit had lifted Stanford’s still lingering malaise. That discontent had been rekindled after the Snyders’ departure, which Laurie had immediately noticed, but not mentioned. And it wasn’t simply due to their houseguests’ absence, or Agatha’s. Laurie had received a letter from Seth and while parts of it had made both Laurie and Stanford laugh out loud, reading between the lines Laurie detected anxiety over which he was utterly helpless.

  The men had found hilarious Seth’s observations about the depth of Uncle Mickey’s religious convictions; yes, the Goldsmith home was Kosher, and they went to services every Friday evening. But other than those delineations, Uncle Mickey wasn’t much different than his older sisters when it came to discussing politics or the news in general. The Goldsmith and Feinman families gossiped just as much as Laurie and Seth’s relations, although news from Israel featured heavily in the Floridians’ conversations. And, Seth wrote pointedly, so did updates from Europe, especially concerning anything to do with The Holocaust.

  It was then that Laurie had to carefully sift through what Seth didn’t say, discerning an underlying tension that Laurie had assumed might occur. He hadn’t shared this letter with his mother yet, although he needed to. But the last time they spoke, Rose had mentioned that Wilma had gotten a card from Seth, so Laurie wasn’t the only correspondent. Laurie imagined Wilma’s letter had only noted Uncle Mickey and Aunt Sheila’s antics, deftly omitting Sheila’s relatives. Wilma, and of course Rose, had learned all about the Goldsmiths, but many other personalities dwelled in Miami.

  Having taken another day off from work, Laurie settled into his usual chair in the living room. He considered how these Jewish clans were similar to Agatha’s relations in Queens. Then he frowned inwardly. He knew far less about those families; Agatha’s husband was Don, they had six children, and her sister was Belle, or perhaps Bella. Then Laurie sighed; was that all he knew about the woman who understood just about everything Laurie held dear? Agatha knew all about Seth and while Uncle Mickey was mostly an unknown, within the next few weeks Agatha would absorb those Floridians because Seth and that clan wouldn’t stay under the table. Laurie would need to speak about them to Stanford and not only after Agatha left for the day or on weekends. Eric and Lynne knew far more about those in Queens than Laurie ever would, which for a few seconds pained him. Then he smiled; for years Eric and Lynne had only each other. High time they had plenty of relatives over whom to fuss.

  And who could spoil them; Laurie sensed how much the Snyders meant to Agatha, from how tenderly she treated them. She toted Jane like she was that girl’s grandmother or very dear aunt. She huffed over Eric’s plans for the new series in the same way she clucked when Stanford had a new artist about which he couldn’t stop speaking. And around Lynne, Agatha was another surrogate mother, just how she subtly cared for Stanford, especially over the last few years. Yet with Lynne, Agatha was permitted an even deeper bond for Lynne was a woman. And no one was harder to approach than the man Laurie loved.

  Right now Laurie was alone in the living room; Eric was on the phone with Renee and perhaps Sam was well enough to speak. Jane was being given a bath by her mother and auntie, which made Laurie grin. Agatha had returned as Auntie Agatha and a few times Laurie would swear he’d heard Aunt Aggie spoken. Stanford had seemed hesitant about leaving that morning, although only Laurie and probably Agatha had seen through his gruff bearing. He’d lingered in the kitchen far longer than he would have if it had only been the three of them. But now another trio made it sextet and that night for dinner, Agatha was frying chicken. It was one of her specialties, but she rarely made it for only the men, too much work being her excuse. That evening, with Lynne’s assistance, there would be chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and probably pie. Eric’s face looked slightly rounded, Laurie had thought yesterday. How many divine dishes had that man sampled while Laurie and Stanford made do with Chinese takeout and mediocre pizza?

  Laurie laughed to himself, then was joined by a rather jovial looking painter. Eric’s grin was honest, which pleased Laurie. “So is Sam improving?” Laurie asked, getting to his feet, meeting Eric in the middle of the room.

  “He is, although to hear Renee tell it, Sam has weeks of convalescence remaining. I was surprised she was there,” Eric continued. “But I guess she’s going back to work tomorrow. Sam said Marek is stopping by this afternoon, guess she wanted to keep tabs on that conversation.”

  “Well, Renee knows how to talk.” Laurie smiled, then chuckled. “Love to be a fly on the wall for that discussion.”

  “Me too.” Eric’s smile flickered, then he sighed. “But at least Sam’s better. From what he wrote me, I had to wonder just how sick he’d been.” Eric looked at the floor, then around the room. Laurie felt a purpose within that break of eye contact, for when Eric met Laurie’s gaze, an issue rested in Eric’s eyes.

  Since the Snyders’ arrival, or maybe a few days into their stay, Laurie had felt blessed not only with their presence, but for the opportunity to better get to know an artist who to Laurie possessed a most keen sense of vision. Maybe because Eric was one of Stan’s clients, it had taken Laurie longer to truly appreciate Eric’s viewpoint, or maybe that vision was so deep it would take anyone a long while to understand the breadth of how Eric saw the world. Or had the sketches Eric made in Queens truly opened Laurie’s eyes?

  Those drawings, made in relative haste, provided Laurie with an unique window into a world he knew nothing of, even if the main subject was within his realm almost more often than she dwelled in her own domain. Stanford had examined the drawings with the mind of a dealer, which had gladdened Laurie’s heart. But Laurie studied them as an art lover, also wishing to better understand a culture with which he had almost no experience. The pictures displayed more than subjects, but then if Eric had asked to sketch Laurie’s family, another vista of Americana would have been revealed. Maybe Laurie should drop a hint when they went to Aunt Wilma’s on Thursday. Then he smiled; his mother would never forgive him if Eric drew the chocolate cake and not Rose’s coconut. It was bad enough that they were going to visit Wilma. But maybe Lynne might ask for the recipe; how would Wilma dare to give it to Lynne if she wouldn’t even share it with Laurie’s mother?

  Now Laurie laughed, gazing at Eric, who also wore a smile. Laurie forgot all about that baking rivalry, Agatha’s family, even Seth. For within Eric’s grin a better joy reigned, one that Laurie had never felt personally, but it seemed so familiar as if something Laurie had once considered. Then he felt a giddy thrill, recalling how green around the gills Lynne had looked that mo
rning, how she drank no coffee, only sipping juice while Agatha plied her with toast and plain oatmeal, Agatha’s tone especially soothing. Was Lynne expecting a….

  Laurie almost asked, but stopped himself. It had taken the Snyders a long time to have Jane, for reasons beyond Laurie’s knowledge. If Lynne was pregnant, it wasn’t for Laurie to indicate. But Eric’s laughter, ringing through the staid living room, seemed to broach such wonderful news. Then Eric patted Laurie’s shoulder. “So Laurie, shall I tell you now or wait for Stan to come home?”

  Laurie’s lip trembled and he felt weak in the knees. When he learned the Snyders were expecting Jane, he’d been distracted by Lynne’s portraits, those nudes some of the most beautiful pieces of artwork Laurie had ever seen. Actually, he’d been staring at Lynne’s breasts, the differing hues catching his attention. Eric’s sense of color was so perfect, those altered shades had caught Laurie off guard. Laurie wished to again peruse the sketches done in Queens; even though they were made in pencil, he was certain that Eric had captured Lynne in a manner which to a more discerning eye would reveal that yes, this couple was expecting their second child.

  “Tell me now,” Laurie said quietly. “I’ll tell Stan tonight, if Lynne can keep it under wraps.”

  Eric smiled. “We wondered how he’d take the news, I mean, you know what I mean.”

  Laurie chuckled as a special joy coursed all through him. “So Eric, is Lynne expecting….”

  But to say those words wasn’t Laurie’s task and Eric laughed heartily. “Are you ready to be an uncle again?”

  “Oh indeed I am!” Laurie hugged Eric, slapping his back in the process. As their embrace ended, Laurie blinked away tears. “Did you know before you went to Queens?”

  “No, and it’s early days.” For a few seconds, Eric looked somber. But his happiness couldn’t be hidden. “She was feeling crummy in the mornings for much of last week. I think we both wondered, but didn’t wanna say anything. Actually, Agatha brought it up with Lynne. I guess I wanted to tell you so you didn’t think Lynne was under the weather.”

  “Well, what she has certainly isn’t contagious.” Laurie’s heart felt bursting with familial joy, which he hadn’t experienced since Jane’s arrival. There was a difference in this pleasure from what Laurie shared with Stanford. That was solely between the men, rarely shared with anyone else. This news was just what Laurie needed, although he understood Eric’s slight hesitation. Until Lynne was further along, anything could happen. But Laurie felt this baby’s existence had begun under very good auspices. Then he nearly blushed; had the Snyders been expecting before they arrived or had this baby been conceived….

  He wouldn’t ask, yet when he and Stan were alone…. Then Laurie laughed aloud, gripping Eric’s hand and shaking it. “Oh, what fantastic news. My goodness, how did the Aherns take it?”

  Eric’s smile faded. “I didn’t tell them. We’ll wait until we get home.”

  Laurie released Eric’s hand. “Is Sam really okay?”

  “He is. It’s just that, well, it’s a little delicate, you know.”

  Laurie nodded. “I suppose it is. You think they’ll, I mean….” Suddenly Laurie felt a chill. During the first half of their stay the Snyders had said little about the Aherns. And other than talking about Sam’s health, nothing had been stated about them yesterday. “How’re they doing?”

  Again Eric glanced around the room, taking his time meeting Laurie’s gaze. Eric took a deep breath and as he let it out, Laurie felt a weight upon Eric’s shoulders similar to the one Laurie couldn’t shake from his own. Eric motioned to the sofa and Laurie followed. In low tones, Eric spoke his heart, which at first saddened Laurie for the pain still suffered by both Sam and especially Renee. Then as Eric finished speaking, Laurie began to talk about Seth. By the time Lynne, Agatha, and Jane entered the living room, many truths had been shared. Yet, the burdens didn’t seem as heavy now. Perhaps even though both Laurie and Eric carried weights, that dual anguish was lightened just by another’s knowledge.

  Then as Laurie stood, a more lasting delight resounded; now Laurie understood the weary but wonderful bliss that dogged Lynne’s steps. He nearly jumped from the sofa and she began to laugh, then cry, as he reached her, grabbing her in a bear hug. He glanced at Agatha, her smile broad. Jane giggled like she comprehended the news, which Laurie though boded well. Very soon Miss Jane wouldn’t be the star of the show.

  “Congratulations,” Laurie said softly, aware that for as good as this announcement was, it was still very new. He let Lynne pull away, but he couldn’t help but remain close to her. He even stroked her cheek, where tears ran, feeling a most proprietary notion within him. But it was as if Lynne was his younger sister, or maybe she was filling the hole Seth had left within Laurie’s heart. Only then did Laurie allow how large and debilitating was that space. But now it was being replenished and again he hugged Lynne, telling her in a soft whisper how happy he was and how thrilled Stanford would be.

  That made Lynne laugh as she stepped back, now wiping copious tears from her face. “Will he really?” she murmured.

  Laurie nodded. “Oh yeah, once he gets over the total embarrassment.”

  “Stanford?” both Eric and Agatha said in unison.

  Laurie roared in laughter. “The one and only. I’ll tell him this evening after we’ve had our nightcaps, or we gentlemen have imbibed. He’ll be out the door tomorrow morning before Lynne gets out of bed.”

  “But will she get to see him for the rest of the trip?” Eric’s tone was teasing.

  “Oh she will,” Laurie chuckled. “And I can’t wait to watch him squirm.”

  “Now you all be kind to Stanford,” Agatha chided, then giggled. She tickled Jane’s chin, then kissed the baby’s cheek. “He’ll take a day or two to warm up but once he does….”

  “Once he does, be prepared Lynne. He might even give you an impromptu hug.” Laurie considered how Stanford would respond when told. Then Laurie smiled. “I bet by tomorrow night he’ll be over it, or he’ll put on a good show. But either way, just know that both of us are thrilled to bits. Too bad we can’t tell Mom and Aunt Wilma yet, but that’ll come in good time.” Laurie chuckled, then had a soft sigh. The Aherns were still in the dark and the reason for that had to have crossed Lynne’s mind more than once. And for all Agatha knew about this little family, Laurie doubted that she had been informed about Sam and Renee. Then Laurie smiled. “What about your Polish pastor,” he asked Eric. “He’ll be pleased as punch I assume.”

  “I’m sure Marek will be just as thrilled as you. He’ll have one more person to speak Polish with,” Eric laughed.

  “Oh, I imagine he feels the same as me about Jane, she’s got more uncles than she knows what to do with.”

  “And a few aunties too,” Agatha added with a grin.

  “Yes, a few aunties.” Laurie reached out for Jane, who immediately went to his grasp. She giggled in his arms, then babbled as if knowing all that had been spoken around her. Laurie’s heart again felt filled, that cavernous space no longer drafty. It was warmed from deep inside, which lifted him, then felt like a warning. He ignored what the future held, instead focusing on the beauty of that moment. Then he smiled. “So does this mean you’ll need a hand tonight making dinner?”

  Lynne giggled. “Indeed it might. I’m feeling good now, should probably start the pie. Then when Jane naps, I might join her.”

  “I think that’s a very good idea.” Agatha cleared her throat. “In fact, these men can watch Jane.” She looked at Eric, then to Laurie. “If you need us, we’ll be in the kitchen. Lunch will be ready in forty-five minutes.”

  Lynne stifled another giggle, but Laurie didn’t hide his. “Yes ma’am!”

  Agatha smirked, then led Lynne from the room. When they were gone, Laurie smiled. “Goodness gracious, how did you last for a week in Queens?”

  Eric laughed. “Oh, it was easy. I just sat and drew while the women did all the work.”

  Laurie nodded. “I be
t that’s how it went. Speaking of those drawings, you mind if I have another look at them?”

  Eric’s gaze was curious, then he grinned. “Of course not. I’ll be right back.”

  “Take them to the dining room, then I can spread them over the table.”

  “Won’t Agatha want us to eat lunch in there?”

  “Oh, we can use the kitchen. Cozier in there anyways.”

  Eric smiled, then exited the room. Laurie looked at the walls, tastefully appointed with various pieces from Stanford and Laurie’s clients, definitely the haunt of two art dealers. Might another Snyder infant cause them to alter the décor, to baby-proof even? Laurie smiled, then kissed Jane’s forehead. “I love you, you know. And I’m gonna adore who’s coming next.” His voice was soft and Jane smiled. Then she nestled against his shoulder, making Laurie’s eyes water. He toted her into the dining room where her father was waiting, pictures in a stack on the large oak table. But Laurie didn’t hand Jane to her father; he sat near the sketches, then removed the top one, placing it in front of himself. It was of Lynne and Agatha and her sister; was it Belle or Bella? Laurie wouldn’t inquire, it wasn’t overly important, and Eric would probably tell him in a matter of minutes. Instead Laurie concentrated on the women’s faces, how Agatha and her sister seemed ageless. And he noticed the distinct happiness upon Lynne, not only her face but her entire being seemed alight. If Eric hadn’t consciously known she was expecting, somehow his spectacular vision had seen it, for this impression of Lynne was teeming with…. With love, Laurie inhaled, then exhaled, as Jane still sagged against his shoulder. Yet Laurie wasn’t jealous, although he would never share that sort of bond with Stanford. How could Laurie rue what the Snyders had achieved when through that loving action Laurie’s heart was being put back together?

  He said nothing about that, but admired the next sketch, Agatha and her husband with some of their children. Not all six, Laurie smiled, nor were they little. In Eric’s skillful strokes, Laurie noted the resemblances, and how Agatha’s bearing was altered from the previous drawing. Here she looked very much like a mother, nothing like the cook and housekeeper he’d always known her as and again Laurie was struck by Eric ability to change viewpoints. Never again would Laurie view Agatha as merely his and Stanford’s employee, not that he considered her as hired help. But here she was, in a simple pencil drawing, so lively and warm and…. Laurie gazed at Eric, who was studying the next drawing on the stack. A genius stood only feet away from where Laurie sat, making Laurie shiver. That quaking stirred Jane, who had fallen asleep on Laurie’s shoulder. He patted her back, telling her he loved her, and that he was sorry for waking her. Jane responded by yawning, then setting her head right back where it had been.

  Now Eric met Laurie’s gaze and for one moment, Laurie felt to have seen through Eric’s eyes, but it wasn’t about appreciating sketches or one’s offspring. It was a heavy albeit manageable calling that coalesced in art, but was born of something beyond Laurie’s comprehension. Yet it was so tantalizingly close that Laurie ached to get up from his chair, stand beside Eric, then grip his right hand. Within that right arm Eric owned a tremendous gift, but the cost was…. Maybe it wasn’t the cost, but the impetus, the trade-off, the sacrifice…. The reason for that gift was something so extraordinary, so maddeningly right past where Laurie could grasp, all he could do was slump back gently, not wishing to again stir Jane. Then Laurie sighed, but not in frustration. It was in a small piece of understanding, maybe compensatory in nature. He might never know how or why Eric’s talent was so great, but finally Laurie could measure the satisfaction in fathering a child. Not that he ever would, nor did he feel to have lost an opportunity. But how often had Stanford wondered why men and women were attracted to each other, and how many times had Laurie attempted to explain it. The meaning sat across Laurie’s shoulder, if not perhaps in one of that affection’s most basic forms. It was why the Snyders were expecting another child, which would embarrass Stanford when Laurie noted the couple had probably made that baby right in that very apartment. It had to do with what a man and woman could fashion whether they were artists or art dealers, cooks or nurses, pastors or even priests. It was human nature to want to leave something behind.

  Laurie wasn’t sure what his legacy would be, other than promoting great art, which was the same as Stanford’s. Eric’s was twofold, but Laurie felt the little girl softly snoring over his shoulder was the greater bequest, even if her father was the most talented painter Laurie had ever known. Yet if Jane and her impending sibling were Eric’s most prized treasures, how did he balance such gifts, not to mention his love for Lynne, so evident in these drawings. There was something, Laurie permitted, then he allowed that perhaps that mystery would never be solved as Eric set another sketch in front of him. Girls were jumping rope, their limbs fluid on the paper. Laurie looked at Eric, who wore a Cheshire cat sort of grin. Then Eric quickly looked away, as if not wishing for Laurie to learn his deepest secret.

  Laurie shivered; that secret was something so fantastic that to deduce it would forever alter their relationship. It was akin to whatever Seth suffered, Laurie then acknowledged, although thank God Eric could use his gift for the greater good.

  Then Laurie closed his eyes, offering a prayer for his cousin. Eric had survived his horrible childhood and if there was any way Seth could return from Florida somewhat healed…. When Laurie opened his eyes, he found Eric seated across from him, his eyes also closed. Maybe they had asked for the same thing, Laurie mused, or perhaps Eric was merely giving thanks for another child. Laurie didn’t speak, but when Eric opened his eyes, giving Laurie a peaceful smile, Laurie nodded, then went back to the safety of Eric’s drawing as if nothing was more complicated than a neighborhood in Queens, New York.

  Chapter 104