crowd, in awood; and I blush to think of the many other unworthy subterfugesentailed by the situation. As I was (and am) naturally of a frank andopen disposition, these became more and more irksome, and but for thereluctance of my parents to renounce the obvious advantages of the newregime I would gladly have reverted to the old. The plan that Ifinally adopted to free myself from the consequences of my own powersexcited a wide and keen interest at the time, and that part of itwhich consisted in the death of the girl was severely condemned, butit is hardly pertinent to the scope of this narrative.
For some years afterward I had little opportunity to practicehypnotism; such small essays as I made at it were commonly barren ofother recognition than solitary confinement on a bread-and-water diet;sometimes, indeed, they elicited nothing better than thecat-o'-nine-tails. It was when I was about to leave the scene ofthese small disappointments that my one really important feat wasperformed.
I had been called into the warden's office and given a suit ofcivilian's clothing, a trifling sum of money and a great deal ofadvice, which I am bound to confess was of a much better quality thanthe clothing. As I was passing out of the gate into the light offreedom I suddenly turned and looking the warden gravely in the eye,soon had him in control.
"You are an ostrich," I said.
At the post-mortem examination the stomach was found to contain agreat quantity of indigestible articles mostly of wood or metal.Stuck fast in the esophagus and constituting, according to theCoroner's jury, the immediate cause of death, one door-knob.
I was by nature a good and affectionate son, but as I took my way intothe great world from which I had been so long secluded I could nothelp remembering that all my misfortunes had flowed like a stream fromthe niggard economy of my parents in the matter of school luncheons;and I knew of no reason to think they had reformed.
On the road between Succotash Hill and South Asphyxia is a little openfield which once contained a shanty known as Pete Gilstrap's Place,where that gentleman used to murder travelers for a living. The deathof Mr. Gilstrap and the diversion of nearly all the travel to anotherroad occurred so nearly at the same time that no one has ever beenable to say which was cause and which effect. Anyhow, the field wasnow a desolation and the Place had long been burned. It was whilegoing afoot to South Asphyxia, the home of my childhood, that I foundboth my parents on their way to the Hill. They had hitched their teamand were eating luncheon under an oak tree in the center of the field.The sight of the luncheon called up painful memories of my schooldays and roused the sleeping lion in my breast. Approaching theguilty couple, who at once recognized me, I ventured to suggest that Ishare their hospitality.
"Of this cheer, my son," said the author of my being, withcharacteristic pomposity, which age had not withered, "there issufficient for but two. I am not, I hope, insensible to thehunger-light in your eyes, but--"
My father has never completed that sentence; what he mistook forhunger-light was simply the earnest gaze of the hypnotist. In a fewseconds he was at my service. A few more sufficed for the lady, andthe dictates of a just resentment could be carried into effect. "Myformer father," I said, "I presume that it is known to you that youand this lady are no longer what you were?"
"I have observed a certain subtle change," was the rather dubiousreply of the old gentleman; "it is perhaps attributable to age."
"It is more than that," I explained; "it goes to character--tospecies. You and the lady here are, in truth, two broncos--wildstallions both, and unfriendly."
"Why, John," exclaimed my dear mother, "you don't mean to say that Iam--"
"Madam," I replied, solemnly, fixing my eyes again upon hers, "youare."
Scarcely had the words fallen from my lips when she dropped upon herhands and knees, and backing up to the old man squealed like a demonand delivered a vicious kick upon his shin! An instant later he washimself down on all-fours, headed away from her and flinging his feetat her simultaneously and successively. With equal earnestness butinferior agility, because of her hampering body-gear, she plied herown. Their flying legs crossed and mingled in the most bewilderingway; their feet sometimes meeting squarely in midair, their bodiesthrust forward, falling flat upon the ground and for a momenthelpless. On recovering themselves they would resume the combat,uttering their frenzy in the nameless sounds of the furious bruteswhich they believed themselves to be--the whole region rang with theirclamor! Round and round they wheeled, the blows of their feet falling"like lightnings from the mountain cloud." They plunged and rearedbackward upon their knees, struck savagely at each other with awkwarddescending blows of both fists at once, and dropped again upon theirhands as if unable to maintain the upright position of the body.Grass and pebbles were torn from the soil by hands and feet; clothing,hair, faces inexpressibly defiled with dust and blood. Wild,inarticulate screams of rage attested the delivery of the blows;groans, grunts and gasps their receipt. Nothing more truly militarywas ever seen at Gettysburg or Waterloo: the valor of my dear parentsin the hour of danger can never cease to be to me a source of prideand gratification. At the end of it all two battered, tattered,bloody and fragmentary vestiges of mortality attested the solemn factthat the author of the strife was an orphan.
Arrested for provoking a breach of the peace, I was, and have eversince been, tried in the Court of Technicalities and Continuanceswhence, after fifteen years of proceedings, my attorney is movingheaven and earth to get the case taken to the Court of Remandment forNew Trials.
Such are a few of my principal experiments in the mysterious force oragency known as hypnotic suggestion. Whether or not it could beemployed by a bad man for an unworthy purpose I am unable to say.
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