My blood pressure did not drop. It was only through the strength of my willpower that I was able to keep going. There was pounding and hissing in my ears, long whistles and the pounding of hammers, just like in a railway workshop. My vision was blurred. I reckoned my blood pressure had gone up at least another ten points. My feet were cold and wet from perspiration.
I tried to remember what Minke had written in his manuscripts. But my memory sometimes disappeared into a kind of nighttime darkness, and then sometimes a flash of lightning would illuminate the dark. But what it illuminated and what remained hidden never came together. It was all a broken jumble.
I had to stand for quite a few moments to clear my vision when I got out of the taxi. The cemetery caretaker greeted us. It was only three days ago that I had been here to place a wreath of flowers on Minke’s grave and look! now I was here again.
Jeannette was holding her mother’s hand. This little girl, who seemed so clever and capable, loved her mother very much. I walked behind them carrying a wreath that seemed so very heavy. It was only my great respect for him that prevented me from hiring somebody to carry it.
The caretaker followed on behind.
When we arrived at his grave I knelt down, afraid of falling if I continued to stand. When I had placed a wreath here for the first time I had instructed the caretaker to paint the name of Raden Mas Minke on the headstone made from teak. The last time I visited a few days ago I could read his name clearly there. But now it was gone, covered by black tar.
Seeing me kneel, Madame Le Boucq also knelt, Jeannette too. I bowed my head and they bowed their heads also.
I knew that the caretaker didn’t really want to come with us but did so because he was afraid. He thought I was someone important. He didn’t like my coming because I always wore European clothes and now I brought a woman wearing European clothes and a young child who was completely European in appearance.
Just as in previous times, a group of people gathered nearby under a shelter near the fence. They did not like it when people dressed in Christian clothes entered a Moslem cemetery. There was no reason to be afraid of them. I always carried a revolver. However many there were, they would start running at the sound of the first shot.
I called the caretaker.
“Who put tar over the name I ordered you to paint there?” I asked in Malay.
“Don’t know, Tuan. This is the first time I have noticed it. Someone from the Jamiatul Khair once told me to paint the name there too, but it was also tarred over. I cleaned it then, now it’s happened again.”
Madame Le Boucq lifted up her head to listen to the conversation in Malay. Jeannette looked back and forth at me and the caretaker with quizzical eyes.
“Very well,” said Madame in French, “even in your final resting place you are not allowed any peace.”
Those words seemed to be aimed directly at me. But in fact I didn’t know anything at all about this vandalism.
“This is not my doing, Madame,” I answered. “In fact, I brought another wreath of flowers, the second one, just a few days ago.”
She observed me with searching eyes.
“It wasn’t me, Madame, truly.”
“You brought a wreath?”
“Caretaker,” I summoned him over in Malay. “You know I sent wreaths to this grave, don’t you, twice, yes?”
“That’s true, Tuan,” he answered. “The village people here know too.”
“See, Madame, he confirms it.”
Sanikem watched me with her searching eyes. And I too focused my mind’s eye on my own soul, just to check if I was still sane at that moment.
“Say a prayer, caretaker!” I ordered him in Malay.
The caretaker quickly squatted down beside the grave and recited a prayer. Sanikem was still watching me. Jeannette was mesmerized by the caretaker.
His tormenting prayer seemed as if it would never end. I gazed around the field before me where there grew all kinds of headstones, from wood, from river stones, from brick, from bamboo. The whole scene before me was growing with nothing but gravestones, dancing, waving, like hands reaching out groping for something. Aah! the way the woman beside me looked at me. And then the gravestones started trembling and extending themselves. There were some that sprang out so quickly they seemed to want to scratch at me. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my two hands.
You, Pangemanann, you are no different from the dirt on the soles of Sanikem’s feet! Her eyes have seen into your brain, your heart, your liver, your kidneys. Just her sideways glance at you has brought you to collapse. You are old now. What else is there left for you to conquer for yourself? Nothing, there is nothing. Everything is against you. Everything, everyone. Even the gravestones growing there before you.
You, Pangemanann, who once received the best education Europe could offer in this century. You are bowing down at the grave of a person far younger than yourself. Was it for his death that you were educated so well? Is this all you will achieve in your lifetime? While Sanikem beside you has built everything she could possibly have built. And all you have done is bring it down. And even then you didn’t succeed in bringing it all down.
Madame Le Boucq’s hissed whisper in my ear brought me to my senses again: “We will return now, Monsieur Pangemanann,” in a French accent that suddenly reminded me of the freshness of Paris at the beginning of autumn. “Jeannette. This is your uncle’s grave.”
Jeannette did not answer.
They both stood up. Finally I struggled to stand up too. And even then I had to close my eyes to throw off the darkness that attacked me suddenly. I gave the caretaker some money and instructed him in Malay: “Get rid of that tar, get rid of all of it.”
I knew I should be in bed under the care of a doctor. But good manners required that I escort Madame back to where she was staying. She did not say a word during the journey. Neither did Jeannette. Let alone me.
The taxi brought us to a guest house, because that was where they were staying. So they would be staying in Betawi for a few more weeks yet.
Also out of good manners, I forced myself to alight from the car. My legs felt heavy, as if they were wrapped in chains. At her request, I sat down. The taxi waited. Jeannette ran into her room. Madame sat across from me, as if she were about to hand down the death sentence on me.
“I believe you had nothing to do with putting that tar on his grave,” she said suddenly in Malay, “but everything else was your doing, wasn’t it, Tuan?”
I nodded, shuddering.
She calmly stood up from her chair, turned away from me, left me, went into her room, and locked the door from inside.
I disgusted her.
I shouted out to the driver. He came in. I asked him to help me back to the taxi. He drove me back to Buitenzorg. It was a very slow journey, even though I knew the car was traveling at over sixty kilometers an hour. Then he helped me out of the car and into the house.
My maid came out to meet me.
The two of them took me into my room. My maid quickly piled up some pillows so I wouldn’t collapse flat on the mattress.
“Driver, summon the doctor at the corner of the street,” said my maid as she handed over the fare he asked for.
The driver left, but the doctor didn’t arrive. My maid sat beside my bed keeping watch. Ah, what could I ever give her in return?
“Fetch that green bundle in the cabinet.”
Without a word she did what I asked and put the bundle down beside me. Inside were Raden Mas Minke’s manuscripts that I had taken from the archives of the Algemeene Secretariat.
“Fetch the thick book in my desk drawer,” I ordered her again.
She went and brought back what I had asked. This was House of Glass, which I wanted to finish with my experiences today.
“Get me pen and ink,” I asked again.
She fetched them and handed them to me, protesting: “Tuan is sick, Tuan shouldn’t be working today.”
I took no notice.
br /> “Tjeu,” I said, “you should marry a good man.”
She looked at me, amazed that I should say something like that.
“Tuan is sick, don’t talk, don’t start writing.”
I was reminded of Marietje, Minke’s maid in Ambon. Minke had given her everything he owned. I would do the same for Tjeu.
“I am writing a letter for you, Tjeu. I am giving you everything I own.”
“What are you talking about, Tuan?”
“I am going to Holland. I am giving everything to you.”
“Tuan, go to sleep, Tuan.”
I wrote out a short letter handing everything over to her, then I gave her the letter, and it made me feel so good to have done that for her. She accepted the letter, but was too amazed to understand what was happening.
“Show the letter to the church later. I want you to go to the church later and tell them I am very ill. Later, when I have finished writing. Get me something to drink!”
She went and I began to write about today. I must be strong. I will not be ready until I finish this. I could feel my mind clear after I drank the cold water my maid brought me. She sat beside me as I wrote far into the night, until sunrise. I concluded with the same words I wrote in a letter to Madame Le Boucq, care of the French Embassy in Betawi:
To Madame Sanikem Le Boucq,
I don’t think I need to explain to you about the “everything else.” As a wise and farsighted woman, Madame no doubt understands everything. About the facts of what happened, it is all contained in these my notes, House of Glass, which I now willingly hand over to you. Madame is my judge. I accept whatever sentence you hand down, Madame.
With this letter, I surrender some manuscripts that are by right yours, the writings of Raden Mas Minke, your beloved son. It is up to Madame now as to what use they should be put to and how to look after them.
Deposuit Potentes de Sede et Exaltavit Humiles.
(He has brought down the mighty from their thrones and raised up the lowly.)
GLOSSARY
Algemeene Landbouw Syndicaat General Agricultural Syndicate
Algemeene Secretariat General (State) Secretariat, the offices of the governor-general of the Netherlands Indies
arak Javanese liquor
assistant resident For each regency there was a Dutch assistant resident in whose hands power over local affairs ultimately resided.
Betawi The Malay name for Batavia, the capital of the Dutch East Indies, now Jakarta
Bharatayuddha A famous Hindu epic, depicting a great war between two families of nobles
Boedi Oetomo Organization formed in 1908 which drew support from priyayi, officials, and students to promote education and social reform among Natives. This organization collapsed in 1935.
brahman The priestly Hindu caste; the highest caste
bupati The title of the Native Javanese official appointed by the Dutch to assist the Dutch assistant resident to administer a region; most bupatis could lay some claim to noble blood.
Culturstelsel (Culture System) The system of forced cultivation of certain crops enforced by the colonial authorities; under this system, Javanese peasants had to grow export crops such as coffee and sell them to the Dutch authorities at extremely low prices.
dalang The puppet master who recites the stories and manipulates the puppets at wayang shows
destar A Javanese form of headdress; a kind of headband
Diponegoro Prince Diponegoro (1785–1855) led the Javanese in a war against the Dutch (1825–1830, the Java War).
Durna One of the Kurawa brothers from the Mahabarata epic, told in wayang; a vacillating, deceitful character
Ethical Policy A liberal concept dating from 1899 that called on the Dutch government to accept greater responsibility for the welfare of Native people. Also associated with policies of reduction of the government’s role in the economy and the encouragement of private investment
forum privilegiatum The right to appear before the White Court
gamelan Traditional Javanese percussion orchestra
garuda The mythical magical bird upon whom the gods rode
HBS The prestigious Dutch-language senior high school
ibu Literally “mother”; used like Mrs. or Madame
Indische Partij A political party founded in Bandung in 1911, calling for independence from Dutch rule in the Indies
Indo A term used to refer to European-Asian Mixed Bloods
Inlander Dutch word for “Native”; a derogatory term
Insulinde An association for Indies residents, which became politicized when members of the banned Indische Partij joined it in 1913.
jeng Short for Ajeng; term of address used among Javanese women contemporaries
kabaya A Javanese woman’s traditional blouse used always in combination with a sarong
kain Traditional dress worn by Javanese women; a kind of sarong wrapped tightly around the waist and legs
Kartini Raden Ajeng Kartini (1879–1904), daughter of the Bupati of Jepara, famous for her letters discussing the fate of the Natives, and especially education for girls
keris Traditional curved-bladed Javanese dagger
KNIL Koninklijk Nederlandsch Indisch Leger (Royal Netherlands Indies Army)
kontrolir (controller) The junior Dutch administrative officer in charge of a subdistrict, one level below an assistant resident; being close to the grass roots, they often wielded much power on a day-to-day basis.
ksatria The knightly or warrior caste in Hinduism
kwintal 100 kilograms
kyai An Islamic teacher or leader
mahjong A Chinese gambling game
mas Javanese term of address literally meaning “older brother”; used by a young woman toward a man, it indicates an especially close, respectful affection; it can also be used between men, indicating respectful friendship; by a sister to her older brother; and also by a wife to her husband.
meneer Dutch for “sir” or “Mr.”
mevrouw Dutch for “madam” or “miss”
Multatuli Pseudonym of Eduard Douwes Dekker, an outspoken humanist critic of Dutch colonialism and author of the anticolonial novel Max Havelaar
ndoro A term of address used by a lower-class person when speaking to a superior in the feudal class or of similar status
noni “Miss”; used for Eurasian girls
nyai “Mistress”; generally a term used to refer to the indigenous mistresses of Europeans in the Dutch East Indies
pendopo A roofed veranda or reception area often situated at the front of a Javanese dignitary’s residence
priyayi Members of the Javanese aristocracy who often became the salaried administrators of the Dutch
Raad van Indie Council for the Indies, advisory council to the governor-general, formed of Dutch residents
raden ayu Title for aristocratic Javanese woman, especially the first wife of a bupati
raden mas Raden and mas are titles held by the mass of the middle-ranking members of the Javanese aristocracy; raden mas is the highest.
raja King
ringgit 21⁄2 rupiah
rupiah Basic unit of currency (100 cents)
santri Student of Islam; pious Moslem
sarekat Of Arabic/Islamic derivation, meaning “union” or “association”
Sarekat Dagang Islam (SDI) Islamic Trade Union
selendang A sash worn by Javanese women as part of traditional Javanese costume
silat A Malay form of self-defense
sinyo Form of address for young Dutch and Eurasian men or Europeanized Native young men, from the Portuguese senhor
STOVIA Schul Tot Opleiding van Inlandsche Artsen (School for the Education of Native Doctors); the STOVIA was the only institute of higher learning established by the Dutch colonial authorities during the early twentieth century.
sudra The lowest Hindu caste; the mass of ordinary people
Sugar Syndicate The sugar planters’ association
tablig An op
en Islamic religious consultation
tayub A semi-erotic folk dance in which the male partner is normally chosen by the professional female dancer from among the audience
tuan Malay word meaning “master,” “sir,” or “Mr.”
VOC Vereenigde Oost Indische Compagnie (United [Dutch] East India Company), often referred to as “the Company”; the major power in the Indies until 1798 when it was taken over by the Dutch government
volksraad Advisory council of people’s representatives
waisya The merchant class in Hinduism
warung Small shop, booth, or stall
wayang Shadow puppets or the shadow-theaters
wayang orang Traditional Javanese ballet
wedana The head of a municipality, one of the lower administrative positions
White Court Court for Europeans, or non-Europeans with official European status
Pramoedya Ananta Toer, House of Glass
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