While I was out, I also called Eva to see how things were going at the club, since neither Sven nor I would be there tonight. After talking for a few minutes, she asked if I had plans for the evening. I explained to her about Sven’s friends coming in to town, but then she shocked me and said she had a friend she thought I should meet and asked if tonight was a good night to have dinner with him. My first response was to say no, but the more I thought about it, the more I wondered, Why not?
I haven’t dated anyone since my breakup with Wyatt, and my feelings for Sven were starting to confuse me. Living with him and working with him meant we spent most of our time together, and I was starting to more than like him, meaning the lines of our relationship were beginning to blur, and that wasn’t good. Even though he gets on my nerves and has a tendency to piss me off, the good outweighed the bad. He is the kind of man a girl could fall in love with, without ever knowing she was doing it. And that’s the exact reason I agreed to go on a date tonight.
“Oh good, you’re here. I got all the crap you asked for,” I tell him, shutting the door to the fridge as he walks into the kitchen.
“Meat is not crap, Mags,” he replies with a smile.
“Stop calling me Mags. It’s Maggie for the millionth time,” I say, then regret it when I see his smile leaves, but I need to keep strong. I need to separate. “And meat is gross.” I shake my head then turn to look at who just walked in.
Holy cow.
Sven is gorgeous, but the man who is standing in the kitchen right now looks like some kind of Hawaiian warrior, and the whole scary look definitely works for him in a big, big way. “You have zero manners,” I say, turning to look at Sven then back to the man, only to realize there is another older gentleman with him wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt and a lot of, probably too much, gold jewelry around his neck and on every one of his fingers.
“He’s rude. Sorry about that. I’m Maggie, this guy’s assistant. Nice to meet you guys.” I take the big man’s hand, noticing he doesn’t return his name, then place my hand out for the other guy, who takes my outstretched hand and pulls me closer.
“Nice to meet you, Maggie,” he says, lowering his lips and brushing them over the back of my hand.
“Aww, you’re so cute.” I pat his cheek then step back and look at Sven. “I’m going to head out. I have a date tonight,” I tell him, ignoring the way his jaw tics and the shake of his head.
“You need to work tonight,” he grits out, narrowing his eyes.
“I don’t work weekends.” I laugh, trying to cover up the nausea I feel turning in my stomach. “Nice meeting you guys,” I tell the two men, who are both looking at me curiously, then walk over to the counter, pick up my bag and my key Sven dropped when he came in, and head out of the kitchen before he can say anything else. Shutting the door behind me, I make it down the stairs, only to hear a loud bang that has me spinning around.
“You go on a date tonight and you’re fired, Maggie.”
“Wh…what?” I stutter out as he prowls toward me, eating up the distance separating us.
“You heard me. Go to the club. I’ll let Teo know you’re on your way.”
“You can’t be serious.” I whisper taking a step back.
“Deadly,” he snarls. If his tone didn’t tell me he was serious, his body language would have spelled it out for me. I have seen Sven mad before, but right now, he is completely enraged. I just don’t understand what set him off.
“Fine, you win,” I breathe out, feeling my throat get tight but fighting it, not wanting to cry in front of him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure,” I agree then watch his jaw clench again before he turns away from me and walks back toward the house. Standing in the driveway, I look up at the house and pull out my cell phone.
“Maggie, what’s up?” Eva asks on the second ring.
“I need to work tonight, can you please tell your friend I’m sorry, maybe we can meet another time.”
“You we’re supposed to be off.”
“I know,” I whisper, dropping my eyes to the concrete below my feet as I swipe a tear off my cheek.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Sven,” she whispers, and I lift my head and look up at the house, my fairytale house, the house I would have picked if I ever got married, the house I would want to raise kids in.
“He’s a jerk,” I tell her then turn and head for my car.
“It will be okay, Maggie.”
“Yeah,” I agree, “I’ll see you in a bit.”
“See you,” she says, hanging up. Getting into my car, I drop my phone in the cup holder then my forehead to the steering wheel for a moment before turning on my car and backing out of the driveway heading toward the club.
*
I wake up with my head pounding, the feel of a bare hairy leg over the top of mine, and a hand wrapped around my breast. I open one eye and close it immediately when I see dark golden hair, a nose, and lips I know too well.
Sven.
I try to recall last night, but my whole memory is blank. My heart starts to beat more rapidly as I notice I’m completely naked—and so is the man asleep on top of me.
“What have I done?” I whisper as I recognize the space between my legs is sore.
Tears fill my eyes as I realize the thing I promised myself I would only give to my husband has been given to a man who has had more partners in and out of his bed than he can even count. And the worst part is I don’t remember anything.
“Why are you crying?” Sven asks, pulling his hand from my breast and moving it to my face, where his fingers slide over my cheek, swiping away a tear.
“What happened?” I ask, opening my eyes as he gets up on his elbow, his eyes travel from mine to my breasts, and I pull the sheet up, covering myself.
“What do you mean what happened?” he asks, looking confused.
“Why are we naked in bed together?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“That’s not funny, Mags,” he says as his eyes slide over my face again.
“Sven,” I whisper, clutching the sheet tighter against my chest.
“Jesus, you have to be shitting me right now, Mags.” He jumps from the bed and begins pacing along the side of it. Sitting up, I watch as his naked form moves back and forth in front of me. “I made love to you.” His voice is anguished as he runs his hands over his head then down over his face.
“I…”
“You told me you love me,” he groans, holding his hand to his chest like the words cause him pain.
“Oh, God,” I whimper. I’m in love with Sven, but I would never tell him that. I would never trust him with that information. I also would never risk what I have with him.
“I fucking knew it,” he stops next to the bed to look down at me. “I fucking knew I should have followed my gut.”
Okay, that didn’t feel good. In fact, those words cut something deep inside me—something I didn’t even realize was vulnerable when it came to him.
“Goddammit,” he roars then storms to the bathroom, slamming the door, leaving me sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, naked, confused, and hurt.
Getting up quickly, I look around for my clothes that are nowhere to be found then wrap the sheet around myself, leaving the room to go to mine, which is right next to his. I pull on a pair of panties and a bra then find a pair of shorts and a tank top, slipping on my flip-flops, then rush to the stairs and stop dead. From the bottom landing to the top stair, our clothes are scattered. Whimpering, I stumble down the steps, picking up the pieces of my discarded clothes along the way until my hands are full. I grab my bag and keys from the table near the door, rush out of the house, throw the clothes into my back seat, and then back out of the driveway.
Biting my lip to keep from crying, I drive faster.
“What have I done?” I whisper to my windshield as I pull up in front of my apartment. Sven didn’t want me to keep it, bu
t when I was moving in with him, I left my sister a note on the kitchen counter, explaining what happened with the guys that came and how she could get ahold of me. I honestly didn’t think she would ever come back, at least not alive. The next time I stopped by to check the mail, I found a note from her telling me that she was okay, but she was trying to find a way to fix her mess. After that, I decided to keep the apartment; that way, she would have a place to crash if she needed it.
Getting into the apartment, I shut and lock the door with the three extra locks I purchased after the break-in and head directly to my old room, stripping off my clothes. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I inhale sharply. My nipples are darker than I have ever seen them and are surrounded by tiny hickeys.
“Stop marking me.” I laugh as his head lowers, pulling my nipple into his mouth, making my back arch. Lifting his head above mine, he smiles softly and I run my fingers through his hair.
“I like knowing you’re carrying my mark around under your clothes,” he whispers before stealing my breath with a kiss.
Stumbling back, I sit on the edge of the tub and lower my face into my hands. I have no idea if that’s a real memory or just something my subconscious made up.
Reaching over, I start up the shower and get in to stand under the running water. Making quick work I wash my hair and body then get out and wrap my hair in a towel. Going into my room, I put back on the clothes I arrived in, since everything else is at Sven’s house, and head for the living room, thankful that I left the couch.
Grabbing a Diet Coke, one of the only things in the fridge, I wander into the living room and take a seat on my couch, setting my Coke on the floor. Holding my phone in my hand, I try to decide what to do. I press my hand to my forehead and replay the events from last night in my head. After I got to the club, Teo escorted me straight to the office, where I stayed until around one. Instead of leaving and going home, I decided to sit at the bar and talk to Eva, since we didn’t have a chance to chat earlier. I remember she asked me if I wanted a drink, but like always, I chose cranberry juice, since I knew I had to drive. After she poured me a glass, we chatted between customers. After that,
Nothing
My mind is blank.
Pressing the button on my cell phone, the screen lights up and I see there are twenty-seven phone calls and ten text messages from Sven. I don’t read any of the messages as I type quickly.
SVEN: I’m okay. I just need the night to think.
I press send then sit back on the couch, close my eyes, and before I know it, I’m asleep.
“I’m never letting you go.”
Waking suddenly, I pant looking around in the darkness then squeeze my eyes closed, trying to calm my breathing and rid my mind of the image of Sven above me, his muscles tight as he fills me. Opening my eyes again, it’s pitch black, and my neck hurts from the awkward angle it’s bent at. I hold my phone away from my face and press the button, seeing it’s after midnight.
Groaning, I sit up and rest my head in my hands for a moment while I go over all the variables for the conversation that will happen between Sven and I. Worst-case scenario, I lose Sven forever. Best-case, we pretend like nothing ever happened. Neither of those scenarios makes me feel good, but I need to understand what happened last night, and judging by Sven’s reaction to me not remembering, he needs to know too.
Knowing Sven is probably at the club and I have a couple hours to figure out what to say to him when I see him, I pull the pepper spray out of my bag and make my way to my car. Taking the long way home I pull into the driveway at a little after one. Not recognizing the car parked in the driveway it takes me a second to remember Sven has friends in town. Feeling embarrassment hit me, I shut off my engine, and stare at the house until I finally build up the courage to get out and head inside. I don’t even register the sound of the car door slamming behind me. The only thing I’m thinking about when I open the front door is the smell of a woman’s perfume as I step into the house.
“It took you long enough.”
Turning on the foyer light, my heart falls into my stomach as a woman wearing nothing but a pair of shear panties and heels walks around the corner out of the living room. My blood starts to pump so fast and so loud that I can’t even hear what she’s saying as she gets closer. But I know she’s speaking to me as I watch her lips move and a snarl form on her pouty mouth.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Sven roars from behind me, and I swing my head around to look at him and stumble back, caught off-guard by the anger in his voice and the look in his eyes.
“I—”
“Get out now,” he thunders, and I follow his eyes to the woman standing naked in the entryway of the house. Her arms cross over her chest and she looks at Sven then me and back again.
“Whatever.” She turns on her heels and heads back into the living room, grabbing a coat off the couch and putting it on, tying the waist. “Your friend still owes me,” she says as she passes by Sven, who is holding open the front door. As soon as she clears the door, Sven slams it closed and presses his hand to the wood, dropping his head forward to hang between his shoulders.
“I was waiting outside of your apartment. I must have fallen asleep, ‘cause when I woke up, your car was gone. Do you know how fucking scared I was?” He turns to face me and pins me in place with the look in his eyes. “First, you run out on me, and then you send me a message saying that you need time to think.” He shakes his head, running his hand over his stubble-covered jaw. “What you need to think about, I have no fucking clue, because you have no idea what I’m feeling.”
“Sven,” I whisper as tears clog my throat.
“No, Mags, I’ve given you time. I’ve done everything but write it in the sky, and you still do not understand I’m in love with you. I loved you before I even understood the pain you caused in my chest.” He steps toward me then pauses as his eyes sweep over me and go soft.
“Then you gave yourself to me last night, gave me a gift that I know I’m not worthy of, but I took it anyway, only to wake up this morning in a fucking nightmare,” he says, and my heart that had been soaring begins to crash to the ground in a fiery ball of flames. “I’m at a loss, baby. For the first time in my life, I feel lost on what to do. I love you, but if this isn’t what you want, I need you to just leave, because I don’t have the strength to do this anymore.”
Tears begin streaming down my cheeks and I try to swipe them away, but they are coming so quickly that I don’t have time to catch them all. There is no way I can walk away from Sven, but the idea of being with him scares me.
“Why?” I shake my head, not sure what I’m asking. Why does he love me? Why is he telling me this now? Why is he doing this to me? Why am I not jumping for joy?
“Why?” he repeats, taking another step toward me and I nod. “I’m not sure. I wasn’t even looking, but then one day you were there and I knew you were it.”
“I’m not even your type,” I point out on a quiet sob as I cover my mouth.
“What type would that be?” he asks tenderly, pulling me up against his body, where I go willingly, melting into him. “The beautiful, sassy, smart type?” he questions, wrapping his arms tighter around me.
“You’re my boss.”
“Yeah, and if you’re mine…” He smiles a smile I’ve never seen before then dips his face closer to mine. “I’ll finally be able to do what I’ve wanted to do every time you’ve pranced around my office in those tight skirts and tights with the sweet little designs on them.” I feel heat hit my cheeks then duck my head so he can’t see how his words affect me. I have always been attracted to Sven, but to know he feels the same thing for me is overwhelming.
“We have to talk about last night.” I swallow and pull away, needing to put some distance between us so I can think clearly.
“Let’s go sit down.” His tone has my eyes flying up to meet his. Long gone is the sweet smile, and in its place is rage.
Leading me over to t
he couch, he sits then pulls me down onto his lap.
“Maybe I should sit over there.” I point to the chair that sits catty-corner to the couch.
“No, I need you right here when we talk about last night.”
Searching his gaze, I agree with a quiet, “Okay.”
“What do you remember about last night?” he asks, pushing some hair behind my ear as his eyes run over me.
“Nothing,” I say, feeling a chill slide down my spine.
“Nothing,” he repeats as his hand on my thigh moves in soothing strokes. “What was your last memory from yesterday?”
“I didn’t want to come home, so I went down to the bar to hang with Eva for awhile. When I got there, she still had customers, so she poured me a cranberry juice and we talked a bit, but she was busy.” I end letting my words hang in the air between us.
Leaning back, he pulls his hand from my thigh and runs it over his face. “When I got to the club, you were laughing and having a good time, but you weren’t blitzed.”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember anything. I don’t even remember seeing you.”
“Jesus,” he groans, wrapping his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. “You had to have been roofied and I didn’t even think about it. I just knew you were finally opening up to me and that was all I saw, so I took my shot.”
“Wouldn’t I have been passed out or something?” I whisper.
“I would never have gone there if I believed for one second that was the case, Mags. You have to believe that.”
I do actually believe he wouldn’t take advantage of me. I know deep down that if he thought for one second I had been drugged, I would have been in the hospital, not in his bed doing whatever it is we did last night.
“I believe you,” I tell him, running my hand through his hair. When his face comes out of my neck, the worry in his eyes is still there. I hate that look on him, but I have no idea how I can fix it.
“Where do we go from here?” he asks so quietly I’m not even sure those are the exact words.