CHAPTER III
JONATHAN HARKER'S JOURNAL--_continued_
When I found that I was a prisoner a sort of wild feeling came over me.I rushed up and down the stairs, trying every door and peering out ofevery window I could find; but after a little the conviction of myhelplessness overpowered all other feelings. When I look back after afew hours I think I must have been mad for the time, for I behaved muchas a rat does in a trap. When, however, the conviction had come to methat I was helpless I sat down quietly--as quietly as I have ever doneanything in my life--and began to think over what was best to be done. Iam thinking still, and as yet have come to no definite conclusion. Ofone thing only am I certain; that it is no use making my ideas known tothe Count. He knows well that I am imprisoned; and as he has done ithimself, and has doubtless his own motives for it, he would only deceiveme if I trusted him fully with the facts. So far as I can see, my onlyplan will be to keep my knowledge and my fears to myself, and my eyesopen. I am, I know, either being deceived, like a baby, by my own fears,or else I am in desperate straits; and if the latter be so, I need, andshall need, all my brains to get through.
I had hardly come to this conclusion when I heard the great door belowshut, and knew that the Count had returned. He did not come at once intothe library, so I went cautiously to my own room and found him makingthe bed. This was odd, but only confirmed what I had all alongthought--that there were no servants in the house. When later I saw himthrough the chink of the hinges of the door laying the table in thedining-room, I was assured of it; for if he does himself all thesemenial offices, surely it is proof that there is no one else to do them.This gave me a fright, for if there is no one else in the castle, itmust have been the Count himself who was the driver of the coach thatbrought me here. This is a terrible thought; for if so, what does itmean that he could control the wolves, as he did, by only holding up hishand in silence. How was it that all the people at Bistritz and on thecoach had some terrible fear for me? What meant the giving of thecrucifix, of the garlic, of the wild rose, of the mountain ash? Blessthat good, good woman who hung the crucifix round my neck! for it is acomfort and a strength to me whenever I touch it. It is odd that a thingwhich I have been taught to regard with disfavour and as idolatrousshould in a time of loneliness and trouble be of help. Is it that thereis something in the essence of the thing itself, or that it is a medium,a tangible help, in conveying memories of sympathy and comfort? Sometime, if it may be, I must examine this matter and try to make up mymind about it. In the meantime I must find out all I can about CountDracula, as it may help me to understand. To-night he may talk ofhimself, if I turn the conversation that way. I must be very careful,however, not to awake his suspicion.
* * * * *
_Midnight._--I have had a long talk with the Count. I asked him a fewquestions on Transylvania history, and he warmed up to the subjectwonderfully. In his speaking of things and people, and especially ofbattles, he spoke as if he had been present at them all. This heafterwards explained by saying that to a _boyar_ the pride of his houseand name is his own pride, that their glory is his glory, that theirfate is his fate. Whenever he spoke of his house he always said we,and spoke almost in the plural, like a king speaking. I wish I could putdown all he said exactly as he said it, for to me it was mostfascinating. It seemed to have in it a whole history of the country. Hegrew excited as he spoke, and walked about the room pulling his greatwhite moustache and grasping anything on which he laid his hands asthough he would crush it by main strength. One thing he said which Ishall put down as nearly as I can; for it tells in its way the story ofhis race:--
We Szekelys have a right to be proud, for in our veins flows the bloodof many brave races who fought as the lion fights, for lordship. Here,in the whirlpool of European races, the Ugric tribe bore down fromIceland the fighting spirit which Thor and Wodin gave them, which theirBerserkers displayed to such fell intent on the seaboards of Europe, ay,and of Asia and Africa too, till the peoples thought that thewere-wolves themselves had come. Here, too, when they came, they foundthe Huns, whose warlike fury had swept the earth like a living flame,till the dying peoples held that in their veins ran the blood of thoseold witches, who, expelled from Scythia had mated with the devils in thedesert. Fools, fools! What devil or what witch was ever so great asAttila, whose blood is in these veins? He held up his arms. Is it awonder that we were a conquering race; that we were proud; that when theMagyar, the Lombard, the Avar, the Bulgar, or the Turk poured histhousands on our frontiers, we drove them back? Is it strange that whenArpad and his legions swept through the Hungarian fatherland he found ushere when he reached the frontier; that the Honfoglalas was completedthere? And when the Hungarian flood swept eastward, the Szekelys wereclaimed as kindred by the victorious Magyars, and to us for centurieswas trusted the guarding of the frontier of Turkey-land; ay, and morethan that, endless duty of the frontier guard, for, as the Turks say,'water sleeps, and enemy is sleepless.' Who more gladly than wethroughout the Four Nations received the 'bloody sword,' or at itswarlike call flocked quicker to the standard of the King? When wasredeemed that great shame of my nation, the shame of Cassova, when theflags of the Wallach and the Magyar went down beneath the Crescent? Whowas it but one of my own race who as Voivode crossed the Danube and beatthe Turk on his own ground? This was a Dracula indeed! Woe was it thathis own unworthy brother, when he had fallen, sold his people to theTurk and brought the shame of slavery on them! Was it not this Dracula,indeed, who inspired that other of his race who in a later age again andagain brought his forces over the great river into Turkey-land; who,when he was beaten back, came again, and again, and again, though he hadto come alone from the bloody field where his troops were beingslaughtered, since he knew that he alone could ultimately triumph! Theysaid that he thought only of himself. Bah! what good are peasantswithout a leader? Where ends the war without a brain and heart toconduct it? Again, when, after the battle of Mohacs, we threw off theHungarian yoke, we of the Dracula blood were amongst their leaders, forour spirit would not brook that we were not free. Ah, young sir, theSzekelys--and the Dracula as their heart's blood, their brains, andtheir swords--can boast a record that mushroom growths like theHapsburgs and the Romanoffs can never reach. The warlike days are over.Blood is too precious a thing in these days of dishonourable peace; andthe glories of the great races are as a tale that is told.
It was by this time close on morning, and we went to bed. (_Mem._, thisdiary seems horribly like the beginning of the Arabian Nights, foreverything has to break off at cockcrow--or like the ghost of Hamlet'sfather.)
* * * * *
_12 May._--Let me begin with facts--bare, meagre facts, verified bybooks and figures, and of which there can be no doubt. I must notconfuse them with experiences which will have to rest on my ownobservation, or my memory of them. Last evening when the Count came fromhis room he began by asking me questions on legal matters and on thedoing of certain kinds of business. I had spent the day wearily overbooks, and, simply to keep my mind occupied, went over some of thematters I had been examined in at Lincoln's Inn. There was a certainmethod in the Count's inquiries, so I shall try to put them down insequence; the knowledge may somehow or some time be useful to me.
First, he asked if a man in England might have two solicitors or more. Itold him he might have a dozen if he wished, but that it would not bewise to have more than one solicitor engaged in one transaction, as onlyone could act at a time, and that to change would be certain to militateagainst his interest. He seemed thoroughly to understand, and went on toask if there would be any practical difficulty in having one man toattend, say, to banking, and another to look after shipping, in caselocal help were needed in a place far from the home of the bankingsolicitor. I asked him to explain more fully, so that I might not by anychance mislead him, so he said:--
I shall illustrate. Your friend and mine, Mr. Peter Hawkins, from underthe shadow of your beautiful cathedral at Exeter, which is far fromLondon, buys for me through your good self my place at London. Good! Nowhere let me say frankly, lest you should think it strange that I havesought the services of one so far off from London instead of some oneresident there, that my motive was that no local interest might beserved save my wish only; and as one of London residence might, perhaps,have some purpose of himself or friend to serve, I went thus afield toseek my agent, whose labours should be only to my interest. Now, supposeI, who have much of affairs, wish to ship goods, say, to Newcastle, orDurham, or Harwich, or Dover, might it not be that it could with moreease be done by consigning to one in these ports? I answered thatcertainly it would be most easy, but that we solicitors had a system ofagency one for the other, so that local work could be done locally oninstruction from any solicitor, so that the client, simply placinghimself in the hands of one man, could have his wishes carried out byhim without further trouble.
But, said he, I could be at liberty to direct myself. Is it not so?
Of course, I replied; and such is often done by men of business, whodo not like the whole of their affairs to be known by any one person.
Good! he said, and then went on to ask about the means of makingconsignments and the forms to be gone through, and of all sorts ofdifficulties which might arise, but by forethought could be guardedagainst. I explained all these things to him to the best of my ability,and he certainly left me under the impression that he would have made awonderful solicitor, for there was nothing that he did not think of orforesee. For a man who was never in the country, and who did notevidently do much in the way of business, his knowledge and acumen werewonderful. When he had satisfied himself on these points of which he hadspoken, and I had verified all as well as I could by the booksavailable, he suddenly stood up and said:--
Have you written since your first letter to our friend Mr. PeterHawkins, or to any other? It was with some bitterness in my heart thatI answered that I had not, that as yet I had not seen any opportunity ofsending letters to anybody.
Then write now, my young friend, he said, laying a heavy hand on myshoulder: write to our friend and to any other; and say, if it willplease you, that you shall stay with me until a month from now.
Do you wish me to stay so long? I asked, for my heart grew cold at thethought.
I desire it much; nay, I will take no refusal. When your master,employer, what you will, engaged that someone should come on his behalf,it was understood that my needs only were to be consulted. I have notstinted. Is it not so?
What could I do but bow acceptance? It was Mr. Hawkins's interest, notmine, and I had to think of him, not myself; and besides, while CountDracula was speaking, there was that in his eyes and in his bearingwhich made me remember that I was a prisoner, and that if I wished it Icould have no choice. The Count saw his victory in my bow, and hismastery in the trouble of my face, for he began at once to use them, butin his own smooth, resistless way:--
I pray you, my good young friend, that you will not discourse of thingsother than business in your letters. It will doubtless please yourfriends to know that you are well, and that you look forward to gettinghome to them. Is it not so? As he spoke he handed me three sheets ofnote-paper and three envelopes. They were all of the thinnest foreignpost, and looking at them, then at him, and noticing his quiet smile,with the sharp, canine teeth lying over the red underlip, I understoodas well as if he had spoken that I should be careful what I wrote, forhe would be able to read it. So I determined to write only formal notesnow, but to write fully to Mr. Hawkins in secret, and also to Mina, forto her I could write in shorthand, which would puzzle the Count, if hedid see it. When I had written my two letters I sat quiet, reading abook whilst the Count wrote several notes, referring as he wrote them tosome books on his table. Then he took up my two and placed them with hisown, and put by his writing materials, after which, the instant the doorhad closed behind him, I leaned over and looked at the letters, whichwere face down on the table. I felt no compunction in doing so, forunder the circumstances I felt that I should protect myself in every wayI could.
One of the letters was directed to Samuel F. Billington, No. 7, TheCrescent, Whitby, another to Herr Leutner, Varna; the third was toCoutts & Co., London, and the fourth to Herren Klopstock & Billreuth,bankers, Buda-Pesth. The second and fourth were unsealed. I was justabout to look at them when I saw the door-handle move. I sank back in myseat, having just had time to replace the letters as they had been andto resume my book before the Count, holding still another letter in hishand, entered the room. He took up the letters on the table and stampedthem carefully, and then turning to me, said:--
I trust you will forgive me, but I have much work to do in private thisevening. You will, I hope, find all things as you wish. At the door heturned, and after a moment's pause said:--
Let me advise you, my dear young friend--nay, let me warn you with allseriousness, that should you leave these rooms you will not by anychance go to sleep in any other part of the castle. It is old, and hasmany memories, and there are bad dreams for those who sleep unwisely. Bewarned! Should sleep now or ever overcome you, or be like to do, thenhaste to your own chamber or to these rooms, for your rest will then besafe. But if you be not careful in this respect, then--He finished hisspeech in a gruesome way, for he motioned with his hands as if he werewashing them. I quite understood; my only doubt was as to whether anydream could be more terrible than the unnatural, horrible net of gloomand mystery which seemed closing around me.
* * * * *
_Later._--I endorse the last words written, but this time there is nodoubt in question. I shall not fear to sleep in any place where he isnot. I have placed the crucifix over the head of my bed--I imagine thatmy rest is thus freer from dreams; and there it shall remain.
When he left me I went to my room. After a little while, not hearing anysound, I came out and went up the stone stair to where I could look outtowards the South. There was some sense of freedom in the vast expanse,inaccessible though it was to me, as compared with the narrow darknessof the courtyard. Looking out on this, I felt that I was indeed inprison, and I seemed to want a breath of fresh air, though it were ofthe night. I am beginning to feel this nocturnal existence tell on me.It is destroying my nerve. I start at my own shadow, and am full of allsorts of horrible imaginings. God knows that there is ground for myterrible fear in this accursed place! I looked out over the beautifulexpanse, bathed in soft yellow moonlight till it was almost as light asday. In the soft light the distant hills became melted, and the shadowsin the valleys and gorges of velvety blackness. The mere beauty seemedto cheer me; there was peace and comfort in every breath I drew. As Ileaned from the window my eye was caught by something moving a storeybelow me, and somewhat to my left, where I imagined, from the order ofthe rooms, that the windows of the Count's own room would look out. Thewindow at which I stood was tall and deep, stone-mullioned, and thoughweatherworn, was still complete; but it was evidently many a day sincethe case had been there. I drew back behind the stonework, and lookedcarefully out.
What I saw was the Count's head coming out from the window. I did notsee the face, but I knew the man by the neck and the movement of hisback and arms. In any case I could not mistake the hands which I had hadso many opportunities of studying. I was at first interested andsomewhat amused, for it is wonderful how small a matter will interestand amuse a man when he is a prisoner. But my very feelings changed torepulsion and terror when I saw the whole man slowly emerge from thewindow and begin to crawl down the castle wall over that dreadful abyss,_face down_ with his cloak spreading out around him like great wings. Atfirst I could not believe my eyes. I thought it was some trick of themoonlight, some weird effect of shadow; but I kept looking, and it couldbe no delusion. I saw the fingers and toes grasp the corners of thestones, worn clear of the mortar by the stress of years, and by thususing every projection and inequality move downwards with considerablespeed, just as a lizard moves along a wall.
What manner of man is this, or what manner of creature is it in thesemblance of man? I feel the dread of this horrible place overpoweringme; I am in fear--in awful fear--and there is no escape for me; I amencompassed about with terrors that I dare not think of....
* * * * *
_15 May._--Once more have I seen the Count go out in his lizard fashion.He moved downwards in a sidelong way, some hundred feet down, and a gooddeal to the left. He vanished into some hole or window. When his headhad disappeared, I leaned out to try and see more, but withoutavail--the distance was too great to allow a proper angle of sight. Iknew he had left the castle now, and thought to use the opportunity toexplore more than I had dared to do as yet. I went back to the room, andtaking a lamp, tried all the doors. They were all locked, as I hadexpected, and the locks were comparatively new; but I went down thestone stairs to the hall where I had entered originally. I found I couldpull back the bolts easily enough and unhook the great chains; but thedoor was locked, and the key was gone! That key must be in the Count'sroom; I must watch should his door be unlocked, so that I may get it andescape. I went on to make a thorough examination of the various stairsand passages, and to try the doors that opened from them. One or twosmall rooms near the hall were open, but there was nothing to see inthem except old furniture, dusty with age and moth-eaten. At last,however, I found one door at the top of the stairway which, though itseemed to be locked, gave a little under pressure. I tried it harder,and found that it was not really locked, but that the resistance camefrom the fact that the hinges had fallen somewhat, and the heavy doorrested on the floor. Here was an opportunity which I might not haveagain, so I exerted myself, and with many efforts forced it back so thatI could enter. I was now in a wing of the castle further to the rightthan the rooms I knew and a storey lower down. From the windows I couldsee that the suite of rooms lay along to the south of the castle, thewindows of the end room looking out both west and south. On the latterside, as well as to the former, there was a great precipice. The castlewas built on the corner of a great rock, so that on three sides it wasquite impregnable, and great windows were placed here where sling, orbow, or culverin could not reach, and consequently light and comfort,impossible to a position which had to be guarded, were secured. To thewest was a great valley, and then, rising far away, great jaggedmountain fastnesses, rising peak on peak, the sheer rock studded withmountain ash and thorn, whose roots clung in cracks and crevices andcrannies of the stone. This was evidently the portion of the castleoccupied by the ladies in bygone days, for the furniture had more air ofcomfort than any I had seen. The windows were curtainless, and theyellow moonlight, flooding in through the diamond panes, enabled one tosee even colours, whilst it softened the wealth of dust which lay overall and disguised in some measure the ravages of time and the moth. Mylamp seemed to be of little effect in the brilliant moonlight, but I wasglad to have it with me, for there was a dread loneliness in the placewhich chilled my heart and made my nerves tremble. Still, it was betterthan living alone in the rooms which I had come to hate from thepresence of the Count, and after trying a little to school my nerves, Ifound a soft quietude come over me. Here I am, sitting at a little oaktable where in old times possibly some fair lady sat to pen, with muchthought and many blushes, her ill-spelt love-letter, and writing in mydiary in shorthand all that has happened since I closed it last. It isnineteenth century up-to-date with a vengeance. And yet, unless mysenses deceive me, the old centuries had, and have, powers of their ownwhich mere modernity cannot kill.
* * * * *
_Later: the Morning of 16 May._--God preserve my sanity, for to this Iam reduced. Safety and the assurance of safety are things of the past.Whilst I live on here there is but one thing to hope for, that I may notgo mad, if, indeed, I be not mad already. If I be sane, then surely itis maddening to think that of all the foul things that lurk in thishateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me; that to him alone Ican look for safety, even though this be only whilst I can serve hispurpose. Great God! merciful God! Let me be calm, for out of that waylies madness indeed. I begin to get new lights on certain things whichhave puzzled me. Up to now I never quite knew what Shakespeare meantwhen he made Hamlet say:--
My tablets! quick, my tablets! 'Tis meet that I put it down, etc.,
for now, feeling as though my own brain were unhinged or as if the shockhad come which must end in its undoing, I turn to my diary for repose.The habit of entering accurately must help to soothe me.
The Count's mysterious warning frightened me at the time; it frightensme more now when I think of it, for in future he has a fearful hold uponme. I shall fear to doubt what he may say!
When I had written in my diary and had fortunately replaced the book andpen in my pocket I felt sleepy. The Count's warning came into my mind,but I took a pleasure in disobeying it. The sense of sleep was upon me,and with it the obstinacy which sleep brings as outrider. The softmoonlight soothed, and the wide expanse without gave a sense of freedomwhich refreshed me. I determined not to return to-night to thegloom-haunted rooms, but to sleep here, where, of old, ladies had satand sung and lived sweet lives whilst their gentle breasts were sad fortheir menfolk away in the midst of remorseless wars. I drew a greatcouch out of its place near the corner, so that as I lay, I could lookat the lovely view to east and south, and unthinking of and uncaring forthe dust, composed myself for sleep. I suppose I must have fallenasleep; I hope so, but I fear, for all that followed was startlinglyreal--so real that now sitting here in the broad, full sunlight of themorning, I cannot in the least believe that it was all sleep.
I was not alone. The room was the same, unchanged in any way since Icame into it; I could see along the floor, in the brilliant moonlight,my own footsteps marked where I had disturbed the long accumulation ofdust. In the moonlight opposite me were three young women, ladies bytheir dress and manner. I thought at the time that I must be dreamingwhen I saw them, for, though the moonlight was behind them, they threwno shadow on the floor. They came close to me, and looked at me for sometime, and then whispered together. Two were dark, and had high aquilinenoses, like the Count, and great dark, piercing eyes that seemed to bealmost red when contrasted with the pale yellow moon. The other wasfair, as fair as can be, with great wavy masses of golden hair and eyeslike pale sapphires. I seemed somehow to know her face, and to know itin connection with some dreamy fear, but I could not recollect at themoment how or where. All three had brilliant white teeth that shone likepearls against the ruby of their voluptuous lips. There was somethingabout them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time somedeadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they wouldkiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note this down, lest someday it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain; but it is the truth.They whispered together, and then they all three laughed--such asilvery, musical laugh, but as hard as though the sound never could havecome through the softness of human lips. It was like the intolerable,tingling sweetness of water-glasses when played on by a cunning hand.The fair girl shook her head coquettishly, and the other two urged heron. One said:--
Go on! You are first, and we shall follow; yours is the right tobegin. The other added:--
He is young and strong; there are kisses for us all. I lay quiet,looking out under my eyelashes in an agony of delightful anticipation.The fair girl advanced and bent over me till I could feel the movementof her breath upon me. Sweet it was in one sense, honey-sweet, and sentthe same tingling through the nerves as her voice, but with a bitterunderlying the sweet, a bitter offensiveness, as one smells in blood.
I was afraid to raise my eyelids, but looked out and saw perfectly underthe lashes. The girl went on her knees, and bent over me, simplygloating. There was a deliberate voluptuousness which was both thrillingand repulsive, and as she arched her neck she actually licked her lipslike an animal, till I could see in the moonlight the moisture shiningon the scarlet lips and on the red tongue as it lapped the white sharpteeth. Lower and lower went her head as the lips went below the range ofmy mouth and chin and seemed about to fasten on my throat. Then shepaused, and I could hear the churning sound of her tongue as it lickedher teeth and lips, and could feel the hot breath on my neck. Then theskin of my throat began to tingle as one's flesh does when the hand thatis to tickle it approaches nearer--nearer. I could feel the soft,shivering touch of the lips on the super-sensitive skin of my throat,and the hard dents of two sharp teeth, just touching and pausing there.I closed my eyes in a languorous ecstasy and waited--waited with beatingheart.
But at that instant, another sensation swept through me as quick aslightning. I was conscious of the presence of the Count, and of hisbeing as if lapped in a storm of fury. As my eyes opened involuntarily Isaw his strong hand grasp the slender neck of the fair woman and withgiant's power draw it back, the blue eyes transformed with fury, thewhite teeth champing with rage, and the fair cheeks blazing red withpassion. But the Count! Never did I imagine such wrath and fury, even tothe demons of the pit. His eyes were positively blazing. The red lightin them was lurid, as if the flames of hell-fire blazed behind them. Hisface was deathly pale, and the lines of it were hard like drawn wires;the thick eyebrows that met over the nose now seemed like a heaving barof white-hot metal. With a fierce sweep of his arm, he hurled the womanfrom him, and then motioned to the others, as though he were beatingthem back; it was the same imperious gesture that I had seen used to thewolves. In a voice which, though low and almost in a whisper seemed tocut through the air and then ring round the room he said:--
How dare you touch him, any of you? How dare you cast eyes on him whenI had forbidden it? Back, I tell you all! This man belongs to me! Bewarehow you meddle with him, or you'll have to deal with me. The fair girl,with a laugh of ribald coquetry, turned to answer him:--
You yourself never loved; you never love! On this the other womenjoined, and such a mirthless, hard, soulless laughter rang through theroom that it almost made me faint to hear; it seemed like the pleasureof fiends. Then the Count turned, after looking at my face attentively,and said in a soft whisper:--
Yes, I too can love; you yourselves can tell it from the past. Is itnot so? Well, now I promise you that when I am done with him you shallkiss him at your will. Now go! go! I must awaken him, for there is workto be done.
Are we to have nothing to-night? said one of them, with a low laugh,as she pointed to the bag which he had thrown upon the floor, and whichmoved as though there were some living thing within it. For answer henodded his head. One of the women jumped forward and opened it. If myears did not deceive me there was a gasp and a low wail, as of ahalf-smothered child. The women closed round, whilst I was aghast withhorror; but as I looked they disappeared, and with them the dreadfulbag. There was no door near them, and they could not have passed mewithout my noticing. They simply seemed to fade into the rays of themoonlight and pass out through the window, for I could see outside thedim, shadowy forms for a moment before they entirely faded away.
Then the horror overcame me, and I sank down unconscious.