“Are you ready, baby?”
“Yes…Bastian, please!”
I fucking loved that she said please.
I gripped my shaft and held the head of my dick so it brushed over her pussy lips. I slowly moved it up and down, coating the head in her moisture and smiling as she tossed her head from side to side and tilted her hips up, ready for me. I positioned myself over her opening, pausing just long enough to make sure she wasn’t changing her mind, then slowly, slowly started pushing forward.
Just the head stretched her more than my fingers had, and I stopped a minute when I was just barely inside of her, waiting for both of us to get used to it. Her body clamped down around me, and I wanted to come right at that moment, but I forced myself to calm enough to push forward again. I squeezed my eyes shut…another inch…then another. Oh fuck, she was so tight. I felt her hands on my shoulders, her fingernails digging into my flesh, and it felt so good I could hardly stand it. I stopped, pulled back an inch, then pushed forward again, hearing myself groan in response as she slowly began to encompass me. Pull back – push forward…just a little deeper. Oh…shit… I glanced down…I was almost all the way in her. I pulled back a final time, and then eased forward until I was home.
“You feel so good,” I mumbled, tucking my head against her shoulder.
It had been approaching three weeks since I’d been inside a woman and years since I’d been inside one without some kind of barrier. I tried to convince myself these were the reasons it felt so vastly different when I found myself buried to the hilt inside of Raine. Physically, she was tight, warm, wet, and her muscles were clenching around me in the most delicious way, but I’d felt all that before. I’d fucked thirty-year-veteran whores and barely-out-of-high school virgins. Some felt better than others, but it wasn’t the physical that made it different. When I connected with Raine physically, I could feel every bit of her soul within my own.
It had never even occurred to me before that I might have a soul.
“God…Raine…” I heard myself whisper against the skin on her shoulder. I pulled back the tiniest amount and then pushed forward again, feeling most connected when I was completely inside her. I said a silent prayer, thanking the pussy gods for her being able to take all of me. I raised my head and looked into her eyes, seeing a small tear in the corner of each. Shit. “Are you hurt?”
“No.” Raine shook her head. “You feel…perfect.”
Her eyes sparkled, and she tugged my head down to hers so she could kiss me. I was in awe of her – her beauty, her strength, her courage, her…everything. Maybe being inside of her just made all of that come to the surface, I wasn’t sure. One thing I did know immediately – if I somehow lost this, if I could never have this again, if something jeopardized her in any way whatsoever – it would kill me.
My mouth moved over to her ear, gently licking and sucking it as I started moving in and out of her – never pulling out too far because I couldn’t stand the thought of it. I went slowly because I wanted it to last forever and also to give Raine a chance to adjust to me. I could have just pounded into her, like I had done to countless others before, but I didn’t want to – I wanted to take it slow with her, and I wanted to stay inside of her as long as possible, and I wanted to…I wanted to…I wanted to...
Make love to her.
I was also going to want to do this again. It wasn’t even over, and I knew once would never, ever be enough. A hundred different places and positions danced around in my head – I wanted them all with her. I wanted to practice until I knew just how to make her come as fast as possible and also how long I could make her hold out. I wanted it all.
My pace increased but only slightly, and only at the urging of Raine’s hips. I felt the pattern she set as she raised up to meet my thrusts and matched it. Soon, she was moaning under me and moving her hips from side to side. I reached between us, running the pad of my thumb over her clit as she cried out, and her body started clamping down on me.
She shuddered under me and all around me. Her fingers dug into my shoulders as her back arched, and she tossed her head to one side, allowing me to suck on the pulse point at her neck while her muscles squeezed down on my cock. It was glorious. It was divine. It was perfection, and I was taken by surprise by the suddenness and intensity of my orgasm. I held her tight to me – nearly pulling her off the sandy ground below us – and screamed into her shoulder, my mouth against her skin, trying to hold back the intensity of my cries.
I came inside of her, feeling myself filling her completely with everything I had, from my ineffective semen to my intense need to feel her skin against mine and the sheer, raw emotion I felt for her as she cried my name out again and again.
Collapsing onto her, I released panted breaths against her throat. The fingers wrapped around my shoulders slid upwards and into my hair, holding my head tight against her skin. I kept my grip on her until my breathing started to slow and the intensity of what I was feeling began to ebb, but not disappear. Still, I held her tight against me, afraid if I moved too much I would slip out, and I wanted to stay exactly where I was. Maybe forever. I wondered how she would feel about that.
“I’m staying here,” I said into her ear as I pushed with my hips. Raine let out a short laugh and wriggled her backside a little.
“I’m okay with that,” she responded. “You feel so good there. I honestly didn’t think you were going to fit!”
“I’m really glad I do,” I said, “because I’m staying right here for as long as possible.”
I started kissing her throat, then her jaw, and finally her lips. Before long, I started moving in and out of her again, the slickness from ejaculating inside of her allowing me to move easily even though I wasn’t really hard anymore. I released her lips and moved down to her breasts, sucking each nipple into my mouth in turn while my hand took care of the other one. It didn’t take long before I was hard again and thrusting into her faster, listening to her moans and bringing her back to the brink of bliss.
She screamed out my name, and I couldn’t hold back anymore. If anything, the second orgasm inside of her was even better than the first. I wouldn’t have thought it possible. Afterwards, I still wasn’t interested in pulling out, so I maneuvered my hands between her ass and the sand, pulled her against me, and rolled so she was lying on my chest, but I stayed inside of her.
We didn’t speak or move for the longest time. Much like after telling her shit about my life, I wasn’t sure how I felt at that point. I knew I wanted this – I wanted her to lie on top of me for the rest of forever. I wanted to hold her and keep myself right where I was until I got hard again. Then I could start all over. Of course, that wasn’t really an option, and eventually Raine mumbled that she needed to get up, and I had to relinquish my hold.
We walked to the water by starlight, washed off in silence, and then walked back to the shelter. I lay down first and opened my arms for her to curl up next to me. Once she lay down, I felt her shiver from her wet, naked skin. I grabbed the blanket-towels from the raft and wrapped them around her, using both those and my body heat to keep her warm.
Raine let out a soft sigh, and I listened to her breathing regulate. The backs of my fingers stroked over her cheekbone, and I could see the corner of her mouth twitch in the moonlight. She was so beautiful, it was almost painful to watch. I felt her body relax against my chest and knew she was asleep. For a while I lay there, looking down at the beautiful woman in my arms trying to sort all this out in my head. I sighed and looked up to the roof of the shelter.
“I don’t understand this,” I said softly. “I wanted to fuck you that first night on the raft, but that was just because I wanted to get off and you were there. I still want to fuck you, but the reasons are all different. I’ve never felt like this after sleeping with someone…or during it…shit. This didn’t feel like I was fucking you…it was something else. I don’t know what it is. I want to be with you, and touch you, and hold you. I have this overwhelming desire
to protect you and make sure you’re safe. Every time I look at you, it’s like my chest gets crushed, and I just want to stare at you and hold on to you and tell you everything is going to be all right. I don’t know what this is, Raine. I don’t understand what you’re doing to me.”
I felt her fingers against my jaw and glanced down into her opened eyes. Fuck. She hadn’t been asleep after all. Her mouth turned up into a beautiful smile, and her response ended me.
“I love you too, Bastian.”
Her words coated me like warm caramel, and I was immediately wrapped in the meaning behind her short, simple, insanely complex sentence. She had a name for what I was feeling even when I did not. I had thought what I felt for Jillian was love, but it was nothing compared to what I felt for Raine. I would do anything to guarantee her safety, and I would do anything to make whatever this was between us continue for as long as possible. I wanted to be with her, next to her, under her, on top of her, beside her, inside her – I wanted everything with her.
“Is that what this is?” I choked out, the sudden emotion of it hitting me square in the chest. If I hadn’t already been horizontal, I’m sure I would have fallen over.
“That’s what this is, Bastian.” Her hand slipped back down to my shoulder, and her eyes closed again.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was where I was supposed to be and doing what I should be doing. I was complete when we joined, and the reason for my existence was suddenly revealed to me – I was here to save her and to love her.
“I love you,” I said simply and felt her smiling lips press once more against my chest before she fell into sleep.
* * * * *
For the first time in as long as I could remember, I woke up without the remnants of a nightmare in my head.
In the dream I had been having, I was behind the wheel of my schooner and Raine was sitting up ahead of me, leaning against the deck railing with her hair blowing out to one side as we skimmed the waves of the Caribbean Sea. I was smiling, she was beautiful, and when she turned to look back at me, she placed her fingers against her lips for a moment and blew a kiss in my direction. I had a cup of coffee in my hand, and when I took a sip of it, it was just plain, black coffee.
I rolled to one side and pressed my lips to Raine’s cheek before forcing myself to get up. There was a lot I wanted to get done today, and if I lay next to her long enough for her to wake up, I’d want to get my dick back into her. If I did that, the morning would be gone before we even realized it.
The last four days had been incomparable bliss as far as I was concerned. We had located water up the cliff in the form of a small stream – it was barely a trickle out of the rock, really, but more than enough for us to live on indefinitely. The water from the still and the coconuts allowed us not to have to travel to the stream every day, and the water from those sources was also a little fresher than the water coming out of the rock, which had a bit of a sulfur odor to it. Raine would drink it without complaining because frankly she didn’t complain about much of anything, but she always wrinkled her nose. I kept the still going for the couple of cups of water it provided daily, making sure she got it all because I didn’t really give a shit about the smell. Fish and other seafood were plentiful and easy to find and catch here, and the coconuts had at least added a little something else to our meals.
All that survival shit was great, but what mattered the most to me occurred after the sun went down. I had always had an insatiable sexual appetite, but with Raine, I found I was just as satisfied if she curled up next to me when we slept. It wouldn’t have mattered if we had sex beforehand or not because her being there was what I really cared about. I still fucked her every night, but I didn’t feel like I had to. I just wanted to fuck her all the time, so I also fucked her at least once during the day, usually near the edge of the water after her “mandatory” bathing and shaving were complete. I kept telling her I had to do the shaving because she couldn’t handle the knife as well, but that was bullshit. Shaving led to laying her down in the sand and listening to her scream my name when she came. She kept saying we were making love, but I called it fucking because it annoyed her, and the look on her face when I said it made me laugh.
I knew it was lovemaking. I couldn’t have explained why it was different, but it was. Even when I was fucking her hard, it was still making love. It didn’t make any sense when I tried to think about it, but my body knew the difference.
Between sexual escapades on the beach and trips to the water source, I had also started making her a place to live that would be a shitload better than the lean-to shelter we currently used for sleeping. This one would have a floor, which is what I was making first. It was only going to be about twelve feet square, but it would be elevated and keep her out of the wet when it rained. It had taken me the better part of a day just cutting a bunch of stalks all the same length until I had enough and then twisting vine into rope to wrap it all together. Raine watched for a couple hours before she started to get the hang of the ropemaking and eventually weaving, too. She picked up on everything really quickly, and it made me feel proud.
Raine was awake by the time I got back with a little seafood breakfast, hanging out near the edge of the water and washing herself off with seawater and sand. It worked surprisingly well for removing dirt, and Raine said it was a better exfoliation product than some of the stuff Lindsay spent a small fortune on. Of course, she was there without a shirt on, and I couldn’t help myself at that point, shaving included or not. Breakfast was forgotten as I lay her down in the sand and made her mine again while the morning waves rolled over our feet.
“Are we spending another day getting nothing done?” Raine giggled.
“Not today,” I said, reluctantly pulling out of her and dragging us both into the water to rinse off. “I need to find us a little more dietary variety, so I’m hiking today. You wanted to finish your weaving.”
We walked hand in hand up the beach to the shelter. I kissed her forehead before getting ready to head off. I grabbed the plastic bags from the raft and Raine’s swimsuit-turned-net and shoved them in the pockets of my cargo shorts. I reminded Raine to stay the fuck out of the sun because her skin was still really dry. I didn’t care how much she liked to tan; I wasn’t taking a chance on her burning. If I had to warn her again about how dangerous sunburn could be, I was going to lose it. She rolled her eyes at me and claimed she was the wrong skin type to burn that easily, which drove me nuts, but at least she agreed to stay near the shelter. She was working on weaving some mats to sit on and was talking about trying to make plates as well.
“Be back soon?”
“Three hours,” I said. “Maybe more. When I clocked it, the walk across the island west to east was about fifty minutes. I think north to south is closer to an hour and a half, and I’m heading south. I’ll be back before supper, though.”
“There’s plenty of fish,” Raine nodded towards the drying racks I had constructed. The hanging strips of fish had become our primary food source.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m going to look for something else.”
I kissed her once more on her lips, forcing myself away before I became too involved. If I lingered for even a couple extra ones, I’d have her naked on her back again within a few minutes and I’d never get her something better to eat. I didn’t care so much about my own nutrition, but I had to think about what she needed. Even though I had taken her in the sand less than an hour ago, I always seemed to be ready for more.
The jungle south of the cliff was still unexplored, and I was hoping I'd find something else to eat there. She hadn't actually said anything, but I could still tell Raine was as sick of seafood and coconuts as I was. I hadn't mentioned it, but we were also in serious need of some more dietary diversity. There wasn't enough nutrition in what we had been eating. We needed some plant variety, and I was hoping to find that as well. I marched my way into the jungle, turning south and marking my path with notches in the trunks of tre
es I passed.
I lucked out pretty quickly on the first find – sweet almonds. Fat and protein were definite plusses, though these were still under-ripe. In a few weeks they would taste a lot better, but I wasn’t about to wait that long, though, so I collected a couple handfuls. Later, I found a large stand of canna lilies and dug up the root stalks. They could be mashed into meal, combined with water, and boiled to make something kind of like oatmeal that would at least fill up your stomach. There were a ton of them, too. We were going to need the carbs, so I dug up a lot of them before moving a little deeper into the jungle.
“Oh yeah!” I actually yelled out loud, frightening a small group of colorful birds from their perches up above my head. I had to stop myself from performing an actual John Paul-style fist pump. I ran the last few steps and dropped to my knees next to a vine covered in light green, three-pronged leaves that reminded me of spearheads. I ran my hand down the thick, prickly stalk until I found where it went into the ground and immediately started to dig. Within a few minutes of digging in the soft sand, my hands were full of thin, somewhat underdeveloped tubers – tropical sweet potatoes.
The almonds had been a great find as well as the canna lilies – but sweet potatoes would be the thing that saved us from what killed sailors more than any other nutritional problem – scurvy. The sweet potatoes would be full of good old Vitamin C. I was instantly ravenous. Even thinking about eating something other than another fucking fish or mussel was enough to make my stomach growl repeatedly. Glancing around the area, I got a good view of some of the more unique parts of the landscape to make it easier to find again. In addition, I subtly marked the spot where I found them by bending two thin branches of a nearby tree to point towards the little crop of plants. I realized afterwards that I didn’t have to be sneaky about it since there weren’t any opponents to compete against here, but it was habit, so I did it.