~ ~ ~
In Dreams:
shadowy ships felt sailing across grumbly mountains of smooth tidal swells wisps of purple air in shapely soft palm leaves reaching a tropical sky of wet skin, clouds raking across nerve ends, tradewinds pushing sails brimful
and June was tingled out of her dream. A hand reaching in. She and Daniel in the rigging of the topsail, falling, a gust of insistent radio waves and she felt so warm in her bed. Melting against his effortless skin and sighing out his name. A ripple of fingertips drifting and a beating heart pounding?and it was not a dream that pushed her sails; she felt so good. Her friend was pressed against her back, an arm reaching around, cool fingers lightly fondling her chest. Dedra sniffled a sob. June shifted onto her back and the girl pulled in closer. She was so warm, breasts kneading into her side and there was the silky skin of a leg entwined over her own. June cradled the shaking body, "de? are you ok?"
A face buried into her neck and said, "i want my mommy so bad."
"ssshhhhhhh?it's ok." June stroked her friend's hair and felt unexpected thoughts transform into an incredible emotion. Dedra. An exquisite gift burning through her like hot coals rolling down an incline to the sea, to smolder into the water's edge. A closeness never shared with anyone and she didn't need poetics to realize things seeking their own level. Shattered by light? She was shattered by a runaway sense of love. The girl's imperfect actions were maddening. In moments of forgiveness, she was a friend who deserved another chance. June could no longer deny that day in the coffeehouse when she had to choke back a smooth twinge of lust upon seeing the little woman's body filling out the startled green cloth of the uniform in a way the Girl Scouts were not ready to imagine. The same gooey twinge was goose-stepping across her skin and, once again, she tried to choke it back.
Perfectly normal heterosexual women, they both had needs that begged after longings pried from floorboards and nailed down as planks to be walked by weakness and bad judgment. Who's to say that the weakest among us are any weaker than the strong who appear to be stronger? Loneliness is the state in which hearts languish to become patient, philosophical and accommodating, and in which others refuse to believe only to impatiently ignite themselves and become fanatical in their efforts to break free.
June was beaten by thoughts of victors and spoils. She was pummeled by a hailstorm of dark eyes, conflicting desires and, ignoring the weights of confusion, she bravely touched lips to her friend's. The tips of their noses met, danced, and she dove into the beautiful mouth. It didn't matter whether they were perfect or normal or heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or women or men or where their tongues or hands or hearts would end up.
Abnormally imperfect women?
A whirling time later, they released each other from the embrace. Quietly, June yawned. Contentedly, Dedra sighed. Buzzingly, the damn radio droned onward. Within seconds, seas were calm and everything fell into abounding sleep.
XVI
"Will the bleacher fans please remove their clothes."
-Pat Pieper
The morning after:
There was the static trumpeting of the clock-radio. June scratched her head, squinted and pressed the snooze button. It was too damned toasty to get up. Drifting back toward slumber, a voice startled her and an arm slithered across her chest. Oh, yeah. Dedra. No wonder it was so warm under the covers. Their bodies nuzzled into each other like dolls and teddy bears. So warm, and then?"Omigod."
June felt her chest, her crotch, her face blush. She remembered the hot make out session but didn't quite remember disrobing. In the raw. Dedra too. Surprise! "De, we're naked."
"huh?"
"Wake up. We're both buck naked."
"ooohh. what happened?" De stirred. Her friend was right. "Ah! Nooooo!" She leaped under the covers. "Hide me!"
Together they huddled under the blankets in losers' lament-oh god! oh shit! oh no! help! oh geeezzz! this was your idea! no it wasn't! yes it was! fuck you! screw you! omigod! I don't wanna die! oh finnegan!-til the alarm once more trumpeted reveille. June surfaced and punched the button. With an inconvenient yawn, she leaned back against the pillows and fought the temptation to have a cigarette. Not that it would help anything. She was still naked in bed with her best friend.
When in doubt, laugh.
Dedra came up from the depths and leaned back into her pillows. Staring straight ahead and stoically covering herself, her face was a beet red. "Why the hell are you laughing?"
"Because," June said, "you look so Scarlett O'Hara right now."
"That's not funny, goddammit."
"Yes it????OK, OK, truce." The radio was still buzzing in the other room. "Listen, De, whatever happened last night happened. It's done and neither of us are doing ourselves any favors by denying it, OK?"
When petulant, blush.
"I guess I?I?that is?I guess I kinda?instigated things a little bit at one point? But trust me, I did not plan any of that. Really. Do you understand?"
"I don't know. Maybe it wasn't you who did the instigating."
"Oh, geeezzz." Floodgates opened, torrential words and thoughts tumbled over and down in her brain, June couldn't think of which words to say until, "I'm your friend, OK? No matter what happens, I love you dearly. But if you hate me?"
Dedra stopped pouting, slid over and hugged her. "It's OK, June."
"But, De," she said, the downpour raging, "you gotta understand that I need your friendship every bit as much as I ever did. I mean?we might actually like each other."
"June, shut up."
She didn't. They both fell back into the bedding and laughed until June ripped out another morning yawn. The alarm blew reveille once more. Frowning and wiping her face, she said, "There's only one bad thing about all this."
"What's that?"
"Now we're lesbians. God????DAMMMITTT!"
Dedra rolled against June and cooed, "So where's my morning kiss, honey?"
"AAAaaaahhhh! NOOoooo!" At that very second the scratchy radio's alarm in the other room went off. The big girl exploded up from the bed crying, "Lemme outta here!" and her nude figure charged into the chill air of day against the noisy background of the trumpeting alarm, the beeping alarm and the cackling of an amateur lesbo. Slamming the bathroom door shut she bugled, "MAKE IT GO AWAY!"