He didn’t kiss her back. His body went rigid on contact. He went so far as to set his hands on her slender shoulders, but he didn’t push her away. Instead, his fingers dug into the softness of her shoulders. Growling low in his throat, he pulled her against him.
Her mouth was wet and soft against his. Her body conformed to his with utter perfection. He was aware of her arms going around his shoulders, her body going liquid against his. He’d wanted to kiss her for so long, and he reveled in the sheer pleasure of it.
He assured himself he would come to his senses in a moment. He knew better than to get caught up in a moment like this. Two years ago he’d fallen prey to temptation while in the midst of a mission, and he’d nearly paid with his life. He’d sworn never to do it again.
But sanity refused to rally. When she sighed and snuggled closer, he knew he had to have more.
He deepened the kiss. She opened to him. His tongue entwined with hers. In the back of his mind a sane little voice cried out for him to pull away and regroup. But the need to feel her body against his was consuming.
Blood rushed hotly to his groin. She was small and soft and curvy. A groan of pleasure escaped him when she put her hands against his chest. He shuddered when her fingertips skimmed over his nipples. The floor tilted be neath his feet when she wrapped her fingers around him.
Cutter knew he was about to cross a line. He knew it was a line that couldn’t be traversed a second time. This transgression could cost him his career. But with her mouth against his and the knowledge that she was innocent pounding through him in perfect time with his heart, he could no more stop what they were about to do than he could stop breathing.
He swept her into his arms and started for the bed.
THERE WERE A THOUSAND reasons why Mattie should not be kissing Sean Cutter. First and foremost there was the matter of his being a federal agent and her status as his prisoner. That hard cold fact stood squarely in the way of anything ever coming of this moment.
But the sensation of his mouth against hers was like a drug, making her do things she normally wouldn’t do. She realized she was making a mistake. The knowledge that it wasn’t the first one rapped at her brain like insistent knuckles against a door. Mattie had made a terrible mistake by trusting the wrong person once before. She’d given her heart to Daniel Savage only to have him betray her. Could she be making the same mistake again?
But Cutter was nothing like Savage. His character rose far above that of her former coworker. He was a straight shooter. But he was still a man. They had spent over thirty-six intense, high-adrenaline hours together. Had the intensity of the situation brought about this moment? Or were the emotions, the sensations coursing through her coming from someplace deeper?
He reached the bed, let her slide to her feet and kissed her hard on the mouth. His fingertips were electric against her skin, and she felt the tingle all the way to her bones, the pleasure drowning out the nagging doubts and questions plaguing her mind.
His palms were warm and slightly rough against her face. “You know this is risky business,” he said roughly.
“I know,” she said. “Your job…”
“Risky for both of us,” he cut in. “Not just me.”
Confusion swirled for an instant. “You mean it doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything,” he corrected. “But I still have to do my job.”
“Cutter, you know I’m innocent.”
“I know.”
Emotion formed a knot in her throat, but she swallowed it. “You said you’d help me.”
“I will, Mattie. I promise, I’ll do my best to clear your name.” His jaw tightened. “But I still have to take you in. If I don’t, we both become fugitives and that will only make everything worse.”
Hurt twisted inside her. She’d known he was the kind of man who would do his job no matter what. She just hadn’t expected it to hurt so badly. “Cutter, I can help you bring down The Jaguar.”
“No,” he growled.
“Please,” she said, “I’ll do anything to stay out of prison.”
“I’m not going to let you put yourself in danger.”
“It’s my choice, Cutter. Not yours. Don’t take what little hope I have left away from me.”
“Mattie,” he snapped. “I’ve seen his file. The Jaguar has a classic sociopath profile. He doesn’t hurt people because he has to. He does it because he enjoys it.”
She thought of the horrendous scars on his back, and tears burned her eyes. “Don’t you see? That’s all the more reason to stop him.”
“Listen to me, Mattie. I’ll do everything in my power to clear your name. But I have to take you back first. I know it’s hard, but you’re going to have to trust me on this.”
She hadn’t realized her tears had spilled over until he raised his hand and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. She raised her gaze to his. She knew he was going to kiss her. She should stop him; she knew he would ultimately hurt her. But she simply wasn’t strong enough.
The kiss devastated her. A sob caught in her throat, but he smothered it with a second kiss so powerful it took her breath. She could feel her body responding to his. The hurt and pleasure mingling into a bittersweet pool around her heart.
When he untied the robe and tugged it open, she shuddered. “Aw, man, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.
She started to say something, but he brushed his fingertips against her sensitized nipples. The sensation stole her voice, made her knees weak, her head spin. She sank onto the bed. He came down on top of her. Capturing her mouth with his, he gently worked the robe from her body. His skin seemed to sizzle against hers. She could feel the hard length of his shaft against her belly. She heard his quickened breaths. She felt the urgency of his touch. Felt that same urgency zinging through her blood.
She opened to him. A groan rumbled up from his chest when he slid into her and went deep. Every muscle in his body went taut. He whispered her name. Once. Twice. When he began to move, she moved with him, taking him deep and then rising up to meet him. Pleasure warred with the pain of knowing this might be their one and only time together. And even as the ecstasy rose to a fever pitch, her heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
Chapter Twelve
Cutter was not an impulsive man. He liked to think a situation or problem through before acting. He always erred on the side of caution. When it came to women he was wary. He could count the number of women he’d been intimate with on one hand. Sleeping with a prisoner he’d been hired to apprehend and transport was the most irresponsible, reckless thing he’d ever done. Not only with regard to his career, but on a personal level, as well.
How are you going to turn her over to the Department of Corrections now, hotshot?
The question taunted him as he lay in the darkness and listened to her steady breathing. The memory of their lovemaking still resonated through his body, through his heart. Cutter was not a sentimental man, but somehow Mattie Logan to managed to touch him in a place he guarded well.
“Even in the darkness I can see that you’re troubled.”
He glanced over at her. She’d propped herself up on one elbow. Even though she held the sheet at her breast to cover herself, the sight of her took his breath away. It was going to kill him to take her back.
Leaning back in the pillows, he patted the area next to him and beckoned her to snuggle. “I wish there was another way to do this.”
She curled beside him, like a cat taking a sunbath. Her skin was warm and silky against his. Cutter closed his eyes against the quick swipe of pleasure, the hard tug of lust.
“There is,” she said. “We could go on the offensive.”
“Don’t go there.”
Cutter stared at the ceiling and brooded. He was starting to think she’d fallen asleep when she spoke.
“What happened between you and The Jaguar?”
He didn’t want to talk about it. The memory was a dark place he never ventured. But he
knew if he was going to succeed in deterring her, it was something he was going to have to share. “It’s ugly,” he said.
“I know,” she said simply. “I’ve seen the scars.”
Cutter pondered where to start. So much had happened on that mission.
“I was an operative with the CIA for twelve years,” he began. “I worked deep undercover. First in South America during the drug war. After 9/11, I focused on infiltrating terrorist cells. I was good at it.”
“What happened?”
“A little over two years ago I was sent to Paris to infiltrate a cell. The CIA had created a new identity for me. We knew this cell was planning something big. We knew it was run by a man known only as The Jaguar. I was to report back to the CIA what they were planning.”
“That must have been harrowing work.”
He smiled, but it felt tight on his face. “I was into the adrenaline of it back then. There was no assignment too dangerous. I knew how to handle myself, think fast on my feet. I had that nine-lives thing going.”
“What went wrong?”
“The French government was also working to infiltrate this cell. They sent in a female opera tive. Her name was Monique. It took months of hard work to get close to this group. Months of isolation. Being surrounded by radicals and murderers. Pretending to be one of them. Knowing Monique was one of the good guys helped get me through it. We became friends.” He grimaced. “We became more than friends.”
“You were lovers?”
He nodded. “It was unprofessional. Reckless. I knew it, but by then I was so burned out I couldn’t stop seeing her. She was the only light in my life. I saw things during those months…” Remembering, he let his voice trail. “This group was brutal. Fanatical. Dangerous as hell. I knew they were planning something big. Once I figured out what that something was, I could get out. But until I had the goods, I had to hold on. Monique helped me do that.” Bitterness rose inside him. “Or so I thought.”
“What happened?”
“By then I was living in North Africa, sleeping in an underground bunker with about twelve other men, all of them terrorists. I’d been inside for about eight months when it happened.” Sweat broke out on his skin and he threw the covers from his chest. “Six armed men stormed the bunker in the wee hours. They woke me up. The Jaguar was there. One look, and I knew my cover had been blown.”
“That must have been terrifying.”
“I did my best to convince them otherwise. I simply couldn’t figure out how they’d made me. The CIA had been meticulous. I’d been careful.” He blew out a sigh. “Well, I’d been careful in every area except for one.”
“Monique,” Mattie guessed.
Cutter nodded and tried not to feel like a fool. “They took me to an old prison, part of which was underground. The room was windowless. There were restraints. Electricity. Instruments of torture. I knew what was going to happen. The Jaguar was in charge, and I knew he was going to try to make me talk. Either that or kill me trying.”
THE HORROR HE MUST HAVE FELT knowing that he was going to be tortured, probably to death. “Oh Cutter.”
“It never entered my mind that Monique was the one who’d given me up until I saw her there. In that terrible room. At first I thought they had found her out, too. That she would be tortured. Then I realized she was a double agent for The Jaguar—and his lover, as well. The Jaguar has a reputation for being wildly jealous. He knew I’d slept with Monique. And he took great pleasure in having me at his mercy.”
Mattie couldn’t speak. She hurt for him. Snuggling closer, she set her hand against his chest, where his heart pounded out of control.
“I spent fourteen hours in that room with that son of a bitch.”
Tears burned her eyes. She could feel the sweat slicking his skin. The hammering of his heart. The tremors ripping through his body. To see such a strong man in the throes of a panic attack broke her heart. She wanted to stop the memories from torturing him, but didn’t know how. The best she could do was hold him and hope he could take comfort in her closeness.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she said.
“I won’t lie to you, Mattie. It was…bad. Those hours were like death. They were worse than death. In the end I prayed for death.” He looked away, gathered himself, then met her gaze. “That’s why I don’t want you anywhere near The Jaguar.”
“Cutter, he needs to be stopped. He’s a maniac—”
“I’ll get him.”
“And let this opportunity slip by?”
His lips tightened, but he said nothing.
“I’m your ace in the hole.” Mattie tapped her finger against her temple. “He wants what I have in my head. The next phase for the EDNA Project. You put me on a hook and he’s going to bite.”
“And take a piece of you.”
“Not if we don’t let him.”
“Two years ago I thought I had a safety net. I thought the agency would look out for me. Well, guess what, Mattie? They didn’t get there in time.”
“I know you can keep me safe.”
“When it comes to The Jaguar, safety is an illusion.”
“You’d rather I go to prison?”
“Until I can find what I need to exonerate you.”
“What if you don’t find it, Cutter?”
“Look, I’m not saying this is going to be easy.”
“I’m not willing to risk spending the rest of my life in jail for something I didn’t do!”
“And I’m not willing to risk turning you over to a monster who will extract the information he needs and then torture you to death!” he said brutally. “He’ll do it, Mattie. Not only because he enjoys it, but because he knows it will be a way to get back at me for sleeping with Monique.”
He stared at her, his eyes furious and intense. For the first time Mattie realized he was not simply afraid. He was terrified. Not for himself, but for her. Unable to keep herself from it, she reached for him.
“I’m afraid, too, Cutter.”
“Then listen to me. Trust me on this.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
He pulled her against him, held her tight. “Let me keep you safe.”
But when he pulled her closer, the dynamics of the situation changed. Mattie knew the moment was about to spiral out of control. There was too much intensity. Too many emotions. All of it about to explode. Before she could draw away, his mouth found hers. He tasted of desperation and fear. She returned his kiss, letting her own emotions take control.
He made love to her like there was no tomorrow. For Mattie there wasn’t. All they had was this small, precious moment in time. She knew it was fleeting. She reveled in it, clung to it.
Because first chance she got she was going to walk away and stop The Jaguar herself.
Chapter Thirteen
Cutter waited until she was asleep before rising. He shut the bedroom door and went into the living room. With a heavy heart he picked up the phone.
Martin Wolfe answered on the first ring. “Where the hell are you?”
“In a safe place.”
“Do you have Mattie Logan?”
“I’ve got her.”
“Where are you? I’ll have a couple of agents pick her up.”
Cutter hesitated. “Martin, something isn’t right about this case.”
“What are you talking about?” Wolfe asked cautiously.
“I’m talking about Mattie Logan.”
“What about her?”
“I think someone else may be involved.”
“Cutter, you’re making me very uneasy.”
“She didn’t do it.”
Wolfe made a rude sound. “Stop right there.”
“The person who sold the EDNA plans to The Jaguar is still out there.”
“And you know this how?”
Cutter knew what the other man would think. Hating it that he would be partially right. “We were holed up for a couple a days under difficult circumstances. The
information she gave me is credible.”
“You believe her.”
“Yes.”
A sigh hissed over the line. “Tell me you did not cross a line with her.”
Now it was Cutter’s turn to remain silent.
“Oh, for God’s sake! You slept with her?”
Another long, uncomfortable silence.
Wolfe cursed. “You were the one operative I figured I could count on to do this right!”
“I brought her in.”
“What you brought in is a potential lawsuit against the agency. For God’s sake, Sean, she could make all sorts of claims against you. It could affect a case that took federal prosecutors months to put together.”
“She won’t.”
Wolfe laughed, but it was a cynical sound. “The shrink warned me you weren’t ready to go back into the field. I should have listened.”
“She didn’t do it, Martin. I’m going to prove it.”
“Let the judicial system take care of Logan. I want you to concentrate on bringing in The Jaguar. This is the closest we’ve been to him since…”
“Since he nearly tortured me to death,” Cutter finished brutally.
“He needs to be stopped.”
“I’ll get him.”
“You could use Logan to smoke him out.”
“No.”
“That bastard needs her. He’s not going to kill her.”
“I’m not going to put a civilian in that kind of danger.”
“She put herself in danger.”
Cutter scrubbed a hand over his jaw, aware that he hadn’t shaved for two days. “I’ll think of something else,” he said.
“She’s your best bet and you know it,” Wolfe said.
“She’s been through enough.”
Wolfe swore. “Where are you?”
Knowing if he wanted to keep Mattie safe, he didn’t have a choice but to send her back, Cutter closed his eyes, hating what he had to do. “I’m at the Chateau Maurier in Silver Lake. In Alberta.”