A good hangover cure;

  a cup of strong, black coffee,

  as brewed in the good old days…

  I’ve lived the Good Life

  and I’ve Fought the Good Fight,

  but soon I’ll draw my last drop.

  All good things come to an end…

  A good point to note

  before I say ‘Good-bye’.

  A better world awaits me

  … to the best of my belief…

  17. Animal Practice

  A few moons ago

  Before ewe became mutton

  You went through a phase

  You’d drink like a fish

  And you’d get drunk as a skunk

  You could wolf them down

  One more for the road?

  Be a lamb; go bar for us

  Make mine a pigs ear

  18. Another Holiday Cancelled

  Windsor knotted, Cashmere tie

  Bank Manager from Yorkshire

  Now working in Lancashire

  Fluent in three languages

  Welcomes plain-English speaker

  In a mixture of all three

  ‘Put wood in t’ole; sit thi daewn

  ‘n tek the weight off yer feet’

  Donkey-jacketed debtor

  Closes the door; parks himself

  Leather and Mahogany

  Too formal for his liking

  Flat cap shifts from hand to hand

  Coffee cup remains untouched

  Hoping for a lucky break

  But expecting more bad news

  Down to serious business

  Computer keyboard clicking

  In time to manicured prompts

  Cashmere Tie draws a breath; speaks

  ‘About the loan applied for

  It’s a negative result

  Your Credit Rating’s far too…’

  ‘Precarious’ came out as ‘slack’

  What could Donkey Jacket do

  To help his situation?

  He works all the hours God sends

  Double-shifts and overtime

  Hasn’t had a holiday

  Since Nineteen Eighty Seven

  ‘Not my fault if They don’t pay

  Honest wages for honest work

  And ever since Recession

  Saving for a Rainy Day

  Doesn’t accrue much interest

  In the sixth wettest city’

  ‘Sorry mate, I can’t help you’

  Cashmere Tie extends right hand

  Donkey Jacket grips it; shakes

  Removes wood from hole; slams

  19. Rock 'N' Roll

  In a band?

  Wanna buy

  Good as new

  Second hand

  Fender Strats?

  Three pick-ups

  Whammy bar

  Red and white

  Like Buddy

  And plain white

  Like Hendrix

  Guaranteed

  Quality

  Just two grand

  O.N.O

  For quick sale

  Cash only

  No returns

  Price includes

  Hundred watt

  Marshall Amp

  Six months old

  Also have

  Effects box

  Cash offers

  Sold as seen

  Up to you

  Why buy new?

  20. Message In A Bottle

  Too long in exile; dreaming…?

  An optical illusion?

  The heat of the mid-day sun

  Playing more tricks on my eyes?

  It couldn’t be a bottle

  Not after so many years

  Castaway on this island

  It just couldn’t be… could it…?

  Be absolutely certain

  That it is what it appears

  Before I build my hopes up

  In my feeble state of mind

  Handle with extreme caution

  Thorough examination

  Be sure not to cut corners

  It may be my only hope

  Vitreous, non-crystalline

  Brittle, transparent, solid

  Cylindrical container

  Formed by rapid melt quenching

  Lightweight, Quercus Suber cap

  Feint French vineyard aroma

  Apellation d’origine…?

  At a guess… Provence…? Bordeaux…?

  And lo and behold, inside…

  Just a small scrap of paper

  Derived from cellulose pulp

  Or possibly even, rags

  On that paper… a message!

  A short communication

  Transmitted by written words

  Containing information…!

  Any moment now, I know

  This dream will come to an end...

  21. and they all lived…

  after ‘i love you’

  things started to happen

  things that made us happy

  all our dreams came true

  *

  church wedding; her in white

  me, in a three piece suit

  continental holidays

  a house we could call home

  children to worship

  till death do us part

  all the modern gadgets

  plasma screen TV

  mobile telephones

  his and hers comforts

  rings on every finger

  diamonds in her ears

  all that she could wish for

  no expense was spared

  *

  whatever lola wanted

  lola got… and then some

  *

  ‘doesn’t get much better’

  couldn’t get much worse

  *

  too much was not enough

  honeymoon was over

  *

  and by coincidence

  redundancy happened

  *

  left with next to nothing

  everything to pay for

  *

  *

  *

  apparently i couldn’t

  give her what she wanted

  22. Happiness

  (A Song)

  How far are we from love?

  How close to happiness?

  If distance is the object

  Will our hearts pass the test?

  When two hearts beat as one

  Our love transforms the days

  And makes them last forever

  Dark nights; light years away

  Come to my arms and show me

  How far we are from love

  How close to happiness

  Another world away

  Across the seven seas

  Seven deserts, seven peaks

  Some days that’s how it seems

  And in each other’s arms

  As side by side we lie

  A whispered promise to return

  Each time we say goodbye

  A whispered promise to return

  Each time we say goodbye

  Come to my arms and show me

  How far we are from love

  How close to happiness

  But as we live, we learn

  To give as well as take

  To share each precious moment

  That only true love makes

  How far are we from love?

  It’s clear from our embraces

  How close to happiness?

  It’s written on our faces

  Come to my arms and show me

  How far we are from love

  How close to happiness

  How far we are from love

  How close to happiness

  How close to happiness…?

  ...Happiness…

  23. Walking Wounded

  Flip-flop

  Clippety clop

  Marchers silent as children snore

  Armed guards

  Whiplashed bards
br />
  Disciplined Prisoners Of War

  Stop press

  Fancy dress

  Little Red Riding Hood reports

  Big wig

  Gypsy gig

  Double-act agents for escorts?

  24. Escape, Hum, Vibrant

  Cherish Liberty

  Don’t mistake it for Freedom

  There is no Escape

  Hum, drone, purr, whine, buzz

  The music the machines make

  Slave to the rhythm

  You; Vibrant colours

  Vivacious, animated

  I remain listless

  25. The PNG Jib

  Initially, I thought PNG

  Rubber-stamped across my book

  Meant goodbye to worldwide travel

  On planes, trains and automobiles

  But the ‘PNG Jib’ guarantees

  A safe-passage exit route

  A one-way voyage cargo pass

  To Papua New Guinea

  No ticket, no passport, no visa

  But rest assured, travelling light

  Under the cover of darkness

  Is not as heavy as it seems

  ‘Baggage’ handled economy class

  No upgrade available

  Low profile, mile-high club members

  Cater for your every need

  If you’re Persona Non Grata

  ‘Stowaway’ doesn’t have to mean

  Three months in the cargo hold

  Of a cross-pacific ship

  It’s not a course I’d recommend

  And like other travellers’ tales

  The PNG Jib ‘guarantee’

  Is an old backpackers myth

  26. Uncommon Valour

  To unsung heroes everywhere

  Who did something they’d like to think

  Somebody else would do for them

  Not the way the cookie crumbles…

  A selfless act of bravery

  Provokes the hero’s modest words

  ‘It was only a reaction’

  ‘Anyone would have done the same’

  On reflection, hindsight suggests

  Those apathetic bystanders

  Reacted like anyone would

  And Courage… someone else’s job

  27. I Have Tried In My Way To Be Free

  An Englishman’s home is his castle

  Intérieur sans meubles.

  The lights are on, but no one’s home

  Final demands notwithstanding

  Lumière grisâtre

  Put another shilling in the meter

  I used to love her…

  Fini,

  They think it’s all over

  Give ‘em enough rope…

  c'est fini,

  It is now

  Eschatological End of Days?

  ça va finir,

  Careful what you wish for

  Like a bird on the wire… I have tried…

  ça va peut-être finir.

  I know why the caged bird sings

  CREDITS:

  Title from ‘Like a bird on the wire’ by Leonard Cohen

  French, (in italics) from Fin de Partie by Samuel Beckett

  I used to love her – The Rolling Stones

  They think it’s all over/It is now – Kenneth Wolstenhome (1966 World Cup)

  Give ‘em enough rope – The Clash

  Careful what you wish for - Eminem

  Like a bird on the wire – Leonard Cohen

  I know why the caged bird sings – Maya Angelou

  28. Coalition

  Waiting for the tide to turn…

  As one more new wave

  Rolls… hangs… crashes…

  Followed by another

  Position…

  Politician…

  PRO-GRE-SSIVE.

  Can you hear as the tide turns…?

  Waves more frequent now

  Ministerial, domination

  Administration, coalition

  CO-ALI-TION.

  29. Enlightenment… Don’t Know What It Is

  Buffalo Soldier, Dreadlock Rasta

  Take heed of the words of Jehovah

  On bended knee and pray to the Lord

  'I wanna, I wanna be adored'

  To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg

  He’s got an uncontrollable urge

  She was a case of insanity

  Was it as good as it was for me?

  I don’t trust you, why should you trust me?

  Look through my window, what do I see?

  A hustle here and a hustle there

  Like the mating of the earth and air

  There is no pain, you are receding

  You’re no excuse for human being

  Hush now baby, baby don’t you cry

  Where were you when we were getting high?

  Shake it on baby now, twist and shout

  ‘There is a light that never goes out’

  No no woman, no woman no cry

  Good times… they just seem to pass me by

  Leave me hanging on the telephone

  Send me home like an Elephant Stone

  Beat the clock, you gotta beat the clock

  We be to rap what key be to lock

  There is a key after all - Credits:

  The Creator Has A Master Plan – Pharaoh Sanders

  Enlightenment, don’t know what it is – Van Morrison

  Buffalo Soldier – Bob Marley And The Wailers

  Words Of Wisdom – Dennis Brown

  Religion – Public Image Limited

  I Wanna Be Adored – The Stone Roses

  Ask – The Smiths

  Uncontrollable Urge – Devo

  Bodies – The Sex Pistols

  How Was It For You? - James

  Complete Control – The Clash

  The Passenger – Iggy Pop

  Walk On The Wild Side – The Velvet Underground

  Evening Over Rooftops – Edgar Broughton Band

  Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd

  Mirage – Siouxsie And The Banshees

  Mother – Pink Floyd

  Champagne Supernova – Oasis

  Twist And Shout – The Beatles

  There Is A Light That Never Goes Out – The Smiths

  No Woman No Cry – Bob Marley And The Wailers

  Lisa Says – The Velvet Underground

  Hanging On The Telephone – Blondie

  Elephant Stone – The Stone Roses

  Beat The Clock – Sparks

  The Rebirth Of Slick – Digable Planets

  30 Hung, Drawn and Quartered

  Coalition rule

  Conservative/Liberal

  Vote of confidence?

  A shotgun wedding?

  A marriage made in heaven?

  Heaven only knows

  Let us celebrate

  The dubious occasion

  With wine and sweet words

  31. Jack

  Reluctance to entertain

  Ideas above his station

  A tendency to abstain

  From physical temptation

  Discipline made him refrain

  From seeking the sensation

  Promise of punishment, pain

  Subdued the fascination

  Concepts designed to sustain

  A teenager’s frustration

  A brief encounter with Jane

  Transformed the situation

  She was the first to explain

  To him; a revelation

  An attitude of disdain

  Replaced intimidation

  He could no longer contain

  The urge for celebration

  Uncorking vintage Champagne

  Completed Jack’s elation

  32. Taking Stock

  Grasp the magnitude

  Get a grip before you slip

  What do you dread most?

  Those who try to pacify?

  Or the dissent they provoke?

  33. A Man Needs A
Dog

  At feeding time he paces

  From kitchen to living room

  From living room to kitchen

  From kitchen to living room

  He thinks I can’t tell the time

  He thinks I don’t care for him

  So he paces edgily

  Wants all he can eat and more

  In return for sustenance

  No sticks are fetched, no balls chased

  Newspapers and post ignored

  For nights out – baby sitters…!

  House training lessons – unlearned

  Shout ‘Here Boy!’ – Does he mean me?

  He could sleep for his country

  Whichever one that might be

  When I can do without it

  That’s the time he’s most alert

  The smell of dinner cooking

  He can’t get enough of me

  Following me around the place

  Getting right under my feet

  In kitchen heat, I can’t stand

  Not enough chefs; still broth spoilt

  Sure, he’s a son of a bitch

  In more ways than just the one

  But I would never swap him

  Because he is my best friend

  Reprimand hesitated

  That thing – with his eyes again

  Back end raised, fore legs stretched

  Tongue protruding Pavlovesque

  Innocence in those eyes

  Those eyes soften hardened hearts

  Those eyes that stare into mine

  As if he’s adoring me

  34. Tough Life

  Upwardly mobile

  Terms and conditions; hard earned…

  Until depression

  Embraced and ensnared

  A curse of many layers

  Financial crisis

  Hopeless awareness

  Hollow sensation; a dip

  Austere impression

  Meagre allowance

  Embarrassed, impoverished

  Famished soul forgot

  Manhood stripped away

  Staring at an empty plate

  Reduced to a child

  Alone in a crowd

  No bread to break together

  Undernourished pets

  Ghosts of absent guests

  Amputated metaphors

  One time known as friends