When she got to the top, she had to stop again and empty the rocks from her shoes. There was no way she could walk all the way back to the shelter with rocks rolling around inside her shoes. The rocks would cut up her feet and make it impossible to walk. She sat down, unlaced her black leather boots, and turned them upside down before putting them back on.
More time wasted. The sun was all the way over the mesa now, and the air was growing hot. Every passing moment the temperature rose and the sun beat down on her once pale skin. She’d already suffered sunburns so bad she’d blistered. Her skin had darkened to a shade of brown she’d never seen on herself before. In the old days, she’d lathered herself with sunscreen and wore big floppy hats all summer.
She stood, taking up her burden, checked her direction, and continued walking. The sun’s rays scorched her back, heating up her body under her long-sleeved shirt. She kept her head down, pushing herself to overcome the pain of the heat and the heavy load.
In her former life, before the war, Cassie had been a quiet, solitary girl who liked to read fantasy novels, draw pictures of dragons, and sing Lady Gaga songs into her hairbrush in front of her closet mirror. Things certainly had changed.
Now she was a psychic gunslinger and swordswoman. She was mated to the alpha of a werewolf pack to which she did not feel she belonged, and she passed her time collecting wild cactus fruit in an inhospitable desert. The part of her mind that was not fully occupied with putting one foot in front of the other laughed at the absurdity of her circumstances.
Every step became a labor. She switched her pole and bucket from one hand to the other, stopping all too often to adjust the load. Every time she stopped, she was letting the sun get that much higher. As the sun rose, her chance of heat stroke increased.
She could feel the intense heat of midday coming on fast. The temperature had gone from the low sixties to the high nineties in just a few hours. She had to get inside before the heat wicked away the last of her fluids and she became dehydrated.
Her bottle was already empty, hanging uselessly at her hip. At least it was less weight she had to carry. She walked through the hackberry stand feeling lost. She knew the shelter was on the other side, in an area that was almost completely free of vegetation, but she couldn’t see any signs of the SUVs ahead.
She turned around, and a slow panic rose from her belly to squeeze hard at her throat. The chance of survival in the desert without water was slim. At least she had her bucket of fruit.
She ducked under the dappled shade of a hackberry bush and rested for a moment, pulling a saguaro fruit from the bucket. She bit into the soft flesh of the beet red fruit, letting its mild, sweet juices pour down her throat. She sighed, feeling relieved and satisfied. The fruit would keep her hydrated long enough to get home.
She lingered in the shade, letting her sweat dry before going back out in the heat. The sun was almost at the zenith of the sky. She couldn’t let get it so high before she found home. The midday sun was difficult to tell direction by, and it would be easy for her to get hopelessly lost.
She took a deep breath, stood, and grabbed her heavy load. The shelter had to be close to here. It just had to be. She headed in the direction she believed was due west and broke through the brush into an expanse of empty desert. She didn’t see the cars. She didn’t see any footprints indicating that she or anyone else had been here.
Cassie berated herself for allowing panic to bubble up in her brain. She had to stay calm. She had to stay focused. The shelter had to be somewhere close; she was just a little turned around. All she had to do was get back on the right track, and it would be right there.
Gazing up at the sun, she corrected her trajectory slightly and went back into the dense brush. Heat blazed down, and her mind went hazy. Delirium began to take over, and her shoulder ached with fatigue. She wanted to quit –– to lie down and let the desert take her. Rafe—her lover, her mate— would mourn her passing, but the pack would be glad to see her go.
Thoughts of giving up swirled in her brain as she staggered through the brush. She gulped air, and a sob broke from her throat. The heat of the day robbed her eyes of tears, but her broken heart wanted to mourn. She wanted to mourn the death of her world. She wanted to mourn the loss of her innocence. She wanted to mourn ever being able to fit in again.
Her eyes stung with dry tears, and she looked up to see the SUVs glinting in the sun in the distance. Relief flooded her, and she instantly felt stupid for her weakened thoughts. Renewed energy filled her, and she hustled the last hundred yards to the elevator shaft.
She stepped on the elevator, setting down her load, and unlatched the brake so that the iron elevator slowly cranked downward, underground. Her powerful psychic ability hadn’t been able to guide her home from the desert. If it couldn’t save her life when she needed it, what was it good for? As the elevator descended into the darkness, she considered that perhaps she had not wanted to come home.
The elevator clanged to the ground with a lurch, and Cassie took her bucket and pole down the long, dark hallway that led into the shelter. On the other side of the entrance, she found the rest of the pack sitting around the tables, eating roasted jackrabbit and rice for breakfast.
She heard someone snicker behind her. “More cactus fruit, gross.”
She took her bucket of fruit to the kitchen and plunked it down on the floor. Meredith’s face brightened at Cassie’s haul. The older woman took the bucket and inspected its contents.
“Cassie, you’ve outdone yourself. There’s nearly forty pounds of fruit here. The hunters only brought in two small jackrabbits for the whole pack. I wonder what I should do with it? Jam? I do have pectin but no sugar. I guess we don’t need sugar. Now, let me see if I have enough jars.”
Cassie swooned and had to grab the kitchen counter to keep from falling flat on the floor. Meredith stopped jabbering and caught her arm, looking at her anxiously.
“Are you all right? You stayed out too late. Your face is bright red. You need water and rest. Here.” Meredith filled a tall cup of water and thrust it into Cassie’s hands. Cassie took the cup and chugged down the water, choking as it hit her dry throat.
“Careful! Take it easy now. Okay. Go back to bed. I don’t want Rafe getting angry because his mate gave herself heat stroke.”
In Cassie’s hazy mind, she couldn’t help feel the mixed messages in Meredith’s words. On one hand, she was being kind to Cassie, on the other; she was more worried about Rafe’s reaction than Cassie’s health. It seemed Meredith was subtly blaming Cassie for her weakened state.
Cassie stumbled down the hall with the water cup in hand. Meredith was right. It was her own fault. She’d been too ambitious and had stayed out too late. It didn’t matter that she was only trying to impress the pack. They wouldn’t be impressed. It didn’t matter how much cactus fruit she brought back; she’d always been the human who brought the aliens down on them. She would always be the reason they had to leave their comfortable compound in the mountains.
She staggered into Rafe’s bedroom, the private room reserved for the alpha. She didn’t feel she deserved to sleep here, but this was her room now too. She set the cup on the nightstand and collapsed into the bed.
Chapter 27
“Are you all right?” Rafe’s voice broke through Cassie’s hazy dreams. She’d been in her mother’s garden before the war, eating strawberries and laughing. The world didn’t work that way anymore. All there was now was endless desert and survival. “Meredith said you stayed out too late, and it looked like you had heat stroke.”
Cassie blinked away the grit in her eyes and gazed up at Rafe. He smelled of the desert wind and the blood of his prey. Cassie raised herself on her elbow to take him in. His tanned skin glistened with a thin sheen, and his chin was darkened by two days of stubble. She looked into his bright amber eyes, searching for answers to her soul’s questions.
“I’m fine,” she said wearily. “I brought back a full bucket of saguaro fruit.
There was a valley full of ripe cacti, and I couldn’t resist harvesting as much as possible. I was alone, so I had to carry the bucket myself, and I admit, I got a little lost. But I made it back. I’m okay. I don’t think I’m even sunburned.”
“No. Your color looks good,” he said, examining her face. “But you need something for your lips, they’re cracked. Did you get enough water?”
“Probably not. I fell asleep.” She sat up and reached for the cup waiting by the bed. Rafe handed her a small metal container with lip balm inside it. After she drank her fill, she twisted the container open and rubbed the soothing oil on her lips. It tasted of bee’s wax and calendula flowers. She pressed her lips together, enjoying the feeling of slick moisture seeping into her cracked flesh.
“Now I can kiss you,” he said, leaning in and claiming her lips. He pressed lightly against her mouth. She inhaled sharply at the sudden arousal that always followed Rafe’s touch. He gathered her in his arms as if on cue, seeking her tongue with his own. She moaned at his powerful intrusion, melting in his embrace.
His hand slid under her shirt and squeezed her round breast, then slipped under the thin fabric of her bra to tease her nipple. She gasped, not expecting him to go so far. She held fast to his neck, letting desire sweep over her body. He used one hand to flip open her belt and unzip her pants before pushing her gently down into the soft mattress.
“I’m so dirty and sweaty,” she said between kisses.
“So am I.” He didn’t stop his passionate seeking. His hand slid down her belly and inside her pants to find the damp darkness between her legs. She gasped as he grazed the soft flesh, and an electric shock pulsed through her. He pressed his expert fingers between her folds, finding her wet arousal ready for his touch.
“Rafe,” she whispered, clinging to his shirt collar as he rubbed her hard mound.
“Take off your clothes. Now.” He withdrew and tore off his shirt, kicking off his boots and unzipping his pants so that they fell down his legs to the floor. Cassie did the same, slowly, watching him waiting for her. He tore down his underwear to reveal his long, thick erection standing at attention for her.
She lay back down, covering her large breasts with her hands. It was still new to her; she still felt the surge of embarrassment when he looked down at her naked body. She shivered, and goose flesh pricked on her skin. He sat down on the bed beside her and ran his hand down her stomach to the patch of curly hair between her legs and back again, letting his knuckles graze the tender flesh. She shuddered as the back of his fingers ran up her belly and between her breasts.
He cupped her chin in his hand and leaned down to kiss her. He withdrew and climbed over her on all fours, kissing her cheeks. His lips ran down her neck and down her shoulders. He leaned back on his knees and took her wrists firmly in his hands, pulling her hands away from her breasts and pressing them into the pillow to the sides of her head.
Holding her hands still, he kicked open her legs and flicked her taut nipples with his raspy, wet tongue. Cassie felt both afraid and intensely aroused as he held her down. She felt moisture gush between her legs as she surrendered to his power.
He took her breast in his mouth, sucking, biting, flicking her nipple with his tongue. She groaned as he moved to the other breast. If only he had two mouths to suck both her breasts at once. She arched her back, pushing the pillowy flesh farther into his damp mouth. He bit down on her nipple, and she gave a little shriek.
Rafe let her go and chuckled as he descended down her body, his amber eyes gazing up at her as he went. She sat up on her elbows and watched him dip his head between her legs. His mouth cupped her mound; his tongue dipped inside her core. Cassie tossed her head back, groaning with delight. Pleasure radiated through her.
Rafe flicked with his tongue, and pressed his rough fingers into her slick, wet passage. She fell back, grabbing her own breasts in her hands, kneading the flesh and pinching her nipples between her slender fingers. Rafe thrust his fingers into her so hard her body moved with his rhythm.
She panted and moaned as he pushed her toward climax. She called out his name as the sensation plateaued and peaked, then rushed down like a roller coaster on its thrilling descent. A long, low moan erupted from her throat as the pleasure gushed from deep within.
He rose to kiss her, her juices still on his tongue. She sucked his lips, opening her legs wide to allow his thick erection inside her. All she wanted was him. There was nothing but him and this pleasure he gave her. The whole world could melt away, and all that would be left was the two of them.
His shaft pressed at her body. She sucked a deep breath and held it, waiting for him to stretch her young flesh to accommodate his massive length. She moaned as the tip pushed through and inched its way inside. He stopped as she panted, her legs shaking. He kissed her neck and cupped her breast, pushing the rest of the way inside.
He sunk into her to the hilt. Her body shuddered, and she wrapped her legs around him. Rafe traced her leg with his hand, gripping her thigh for purchase. He took a long whiff of the scent at her neck, withdrew, and thrust hard into her core. She threw back her head and arched her back, whimpering. Her breasts rose to his face, and he sucked and fondled them gloriously.
“God, Cassie. You are so beautiful,” he said, thrusting deeply again. “I need you so bad.”
“I do too,” she whispered, curling up to his ear. She took his head between her hands and kissed his cheeks, his chin, his mouth. She adored him, worshiped him. She never wanted this to end.
He rocked into her, more gently, letting her body adapt to his rhythm. She ran her hands up the hard ropes of muscles on his arms and over his shoulders. The rich smell of his body intoxicated her senses. She drank him in, the luscious hardness of his body, the towering need in his desire.
She felt enraptured by how he wanted her, how he touched and gripped her body, every glance and caress told the story of his desire. The safety in his arms allowed her to unfold, to let go of herself and all her worries. Everything seemed right when he was inside her.
His thrusting increased in intensity as he moaned into her neck. His hand held her face gently while the other gripped her thigh. The sound of his steady moans and the slapping of flesh mingled with the rising pleasure inside her.
She held him tight, wanting to flower under his touch, letting everything but the knowledge of him disappear from her mind. His body pumped into her, caressing the place inside her that made her swell with delight. She groaned and bit her lip.
The mounting pleasure gathered in her core. She felt Rafe swell inside her. He sucked air through his teeth and moaned, pumping harder still. She ran her hand over his chest and up his neck, looking deeply into his amber eyes.
He bent down to kiss her and growled into her neck. She gripped his shoulder as the climax broke, and Rafe moaned loudly above her. Her throbbing met his, and they quaked together for long moments, holding each other tight.
As the climax faded, he kissed her cheek and rolled away, heaving a heavy sigh. She rested her head on his chest, the space between her legs throbbing still. Her body felt alive and electric with her desire, from her toes to the tips of her taut nipples.
Chapter 28
After a nap, Rafe rose from the bed and went to turn on the bath for them both to share. Cassie luxuriated in bed, running her hands down her stomach the way Rafe had.
She adored how he adored her. It was as if the world came alive when he was near, when he looked at her or touched her. Nothing could be better than this.
When she heard the water stop running, she got out of bed and went to slip into the bath with Rafe and wash the desert off her skin and hair.
They washed quickly, stopping to fondle and kiss only briefly before Rafe rose to get dressed. Cassie lay in the bath for a while longer, letting the warm lilac-scented water relax her sore muscles and overheated skin.
He ducked his head through the door, fully clothed, to tell her he was going to the dining hall. She smiled a
t him as he left, though she ached for him when he went away.
Finally, she rose, dried herself, and went to dress in their bedroom. She picked some clean military style clothing out of her box under the bed: a pair of green cargo pants, a black tank top, and black mid-calf boots.
She dried her hair, braided it down her back to keep it under control, and left the bedroom. Walking down the hall, she heard voices coming from the hydroponics room. She stood by the door and heard Rafe talking to Neil.
“We won’t have fresh food again for months even if we can repair the system,” she heard Rafe say.
“The pack needs meat. They can’t live on desert plants no matter how many pounds your mate brings back here. It will never be enough. We need to find other hunting grounds.”
“I know,” said Rafe.
Cassie walked quickly past the door without going inside, her heart sinking. No matter what she did, her contribution was not enough. She would never be a hunter like the other wolves. She could not travel with them in the pack and stalk prey through the desert at night.
Her heart sank, and she was swamped with feelings of worthlessness. The only one who wanted her here was Rafe. Every day she could feel the tension in the pack increase.
She strode down the hall into the dining room and found lunch waiting in the kitchen. Meredith had made syrup with some of the saguaro fruit and was serving it with rice. They were eating rice at almost every meal now.
Cassie took her plate and went to sit with Selina, her old roommate. Selina had been kind to her when she’d first arrived. Everyone had thought she was interesting, being a full human and all. But after Rafe mated with her, even Selina had turned cold.