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‘Found me? Was I lost?’ At this point I was totally confused.
‘No, I’m the one that’s lost. So I built this place for you. For us. I hoped you’d find it. ’
His words made no sense, but nothing could permeate my curious calm. Plus, he sounded happy, and I liked what he’d said.
‘It’s beautiful, Anyan. I really like it. It’s ours?’
‘For as long as I can hold on to it,’ he said, and there was grief in his voice.
‘I’ll help you,’ I said, putting my small hand into his much larger one. ‘We’ll keep it, together. ’ I wanted him to feel safe, like I did.
He leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine. What I felt then was anything other than calm. Our kiss was brief, but passionate, leaving me burning for more when he withdrew to speak.
‘You’re already helping me. Being here with you reminds me of who I am. You help me remain me, Jane. ’
I was confused again, but then he stood, taking me by the hand to draw me up with him. He led me to the little sleeping area.
My body kindled with its own fire as Anyan stripped me of my shirt. While he did so, I toed off my Converse. He started in on the buttons of my jeans even as I stood on the tip of one sock, and then the other, to pull them off. He pushed down my jeans, and when I was clad only in my bra and panties, he bore me down onto the soft furs that awaited us.
His lips and teeth found the soft flesh of my neck even as I ripped at the bottom of his T-shirt, trying to pull it up his body and off him. I wanted – no, I needed to feel his skin pressed against mine.
My hunger was so desperate it surprised me. Surely we’d made good use of this warm, soft nook hundreds of times before? But it was like I hadn’t touched the barghest in months. As if he felt the same way, Anyan’s mouth and hands roved over my body like he was relearning me, or grasping on to me so no one could take me from him.
‘Gods, I’ve missed this, Jane,’ he said, his voice raspy with lust and maybe something else. Sadness? I wondered, unable to understand and yet feeling the same mixture of lust and mourning, as if I’d have to say goodbye to Anyan again after this was over.
But why goodbye? And why again? I wondered. For a second I thought I remembered, but then the memory was gone as if it were ejected.
Nothing could be as bad as all that, not with a barghest in my arms.
I’d finally managed to wrestle his shirt over his head, and Anyan helped me by pulling it the rest of the way up his arms. Then he was hovering over me, looking over my body with hungry eyes. Boldly, I moved my hand between his legs, stroking over his hard length covered by the denim that still separated us. He moaned, a low growling sound, then found my mouth again in a long, rough kiss that left me breathless.
When he moved again, it was with purpose. Kissing down my throat, over my sternum, his hands moved behind my back to undo my bra. Rather than take it off, once it was undone, he merely pushed it up, finding my nipple with his hungry, rough mouth. I whimpered, pushing up against him, still stroking him through his jeans as he found my other breast with his lips. At the same time, he grabbed one wrist, and then the other, ripping my hand away from him as he pulled them up over my head. Then he pinned them down, moving up my body at the same time so that he could kiss me again, pressing against me.
I drew my knees up, opening myself to him. Even through his jeans and my panties I could feel him, so hard and wanting. And I very much felt like giving. Bucking my hips up, I whimpered again.
‘Fuck me,’ I begged. ‘Please fuck me. ’
With a growl, Anyan let go of one of my wrists, reaching down to undo his pants. He didn’t even bother with my panties; he just shoved the crotch of my underwear to the side. I cried out as his thick fingers slid inside my folds, testing my wetness. Two fingers slid deep, impossibly deep, before withdrawing.
Still holding my wrist down with one hand, his other then fisted his cock so he could rub the broad tip against my sex. I pushed up to meet him, causing him to slip just a fraction of an inch inside me, but it was enough to break his control. Foreplay over, Anyan couldn’t resist sliding deeper, his groans mingling with mine as his mouth sucked at my cries.
He withdrew slightly, and then pushed forward again, deeper this time. I’d forgotten how big he was, how much I had to adjust to him. But as always, he was perfect – giving me only what I could take until I was ready for more.
My Anyan.
The thought made tears spring to my eyes, unbidden. Unable to fathom why, I cried as he took me, a curious sensation of grief and desperate lust shaking me to the core.
I kept talking the whole time, telling him to fuck me, to use me, to make me his. Obligingly, he plunged deeper, then set up a rhythm that was bound to send both of us over the edge too quickly.
Because as much as I wanted this frantic pace, and I was helping to set it, I also never wanted this moment to end. I wanted him here, and safe inside me, forever.
I feared what would happen when this moment ended.
And so I wrapped myself around him, arms and legs pulling him close, squeezing him with my inner muscles in an attempt to keep him right where he was.
But all my actions did was drive my own pleasure higher, taking Anyan with me. His thick fingers slipped between us, finding my clit, and it was over. I broke around him, my orgasm crashing over me. His own harsh cries followed only seconds later.
A few more thrusts and he was spent inside me.
As my pleasure receded, it was replaced with a fear so overwhelming it could only be called panic. I clung to the barghest, not wanting to let him go.
He clung just as desperately to me, refusing to withdraw, wrapping his arms tighter around me.
‘Thank you for finding me. It’s made all the difference,’ he told me. What frightened me even more than his cryptic words was the fear I saw reflected in his own gray eyes. They were wild; as if frantic to impart something I couldn’t yet understand.
‘You must find me again soon, Jane. It’s the only thing that will keep me going. He’s so strong, and he’s growing stronger. You have to help me. ’
‘I’ll do anything,’ I said, and I meant it.
‘I know you will. Whatever you’re doing, you’re scaring them. That makes them desperate, but it means you’re on the right track. ’
I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I nodded.
‘You have to stay strong, too,’ I said.
Anyan’s mouth pressed into a grim line. ‘I’m trying. This helped, more than you can imagine. ’
Suddenly, I knew that this wasn’t our hut. This wasn’t a safe place, at least not really, and we couldn’t stay here.
Sobs tore through my body as I clung even more desperately to the man wrapped around me. He felt like he always had – strong, like an anchor that could keep me rooted to the spot. But I knew it wasn’t the truth.
I was going to have to leave.
‘Don’t let me go,’ I said.
‘I don’t want to. But I have to. And you must remember this, Jane. You must try to remember and you must come again. Will you do that?’
I nodded. ‘Of course. I’ll remember and I’ll come again. I’ll always find you…’
‘It’s not that simple. You won’t have as much control as you think. You might not—’
‘I’ll remember,’ I said sharply, interrupting him. ‘And I’ll always find you. ’
Anyan nodded, looking both tense and hopeful. ‘Talk to the creature, if you can. Tell him…’
Suddenly, Anyan’s head snapped up, as if he heard something from outside.
‘He’s here. You must go. ’
‘No!’ I cried, wanting to stay.
‘Come back,’ was all Anyan said, holding me closer even as I knew he was letting me go. ‘Come back to me, Jane. And hurry…’
I woke with a start, tears staining my face
and pillow. I sat up to find myself in an unfamiliar hotel bedroom, not a hut.
I was still in Hong Kong, and Anyan was a dragon.
A sob wailed, unbidden, from my lips and seconds later Ryu was standing in my doorway. We had booked ourselves into a suite at the monks’ hotel, at the behest of the kindly old monk, who wanted us to talk to someone the next day. So we’d scanned and emailed the important poem about dragons to Caleb, who’d either be able to translate it himself or would know who could, and we’d called it a night.
We’d also gone ahead and sent our clothes in for cleaning after ordering everything we needed, from pajamas to toothbrushes, on the tab of Ryu’s compound. Sometimes it was good traveling with someone who worked for the Man, at least when he or she also had access to the Man’s expense account.
‘Are you all right? What happened?’ Ryu asked, coming to sit on the edge of my bed.
‘A dream. It was important…’ I was supposed to remember something, but I couldn’t. I shook my head roughly, as if I might dislodge whatever it was I had to remember.
‘Easy, Jane,’ Ryu said soothingly. ‘We had a crazy day, and you’re really stressed. No wonder you had a bad dream. ’