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Humans, halflings, and purebreds, all fighting over me. The girl who couldn’t get a date to the senior prom to save her little life, not least because she’d been drugged to the gills in the loony bin after inadvertently bringing about the death of her first great love.
She was suddenly the belle of the ball.
‘What do I do?’ My voice was bleak when I finally spoke. Anyan took my hand.
‘I shouldn’t have been so negative. Maybe the power will go away. Or maybe the creature will take it back. ’
I remember Blondie telling me, right after she’d duped me into taking the labrys, that it was all mine now. She’d seemed sad when she said it, and I now wondered if her words weren’t loaded with other meanings.
Automatically, I reached for the place the creature inhabited in my mind. It could probably answer my questions. But since taking on the White, it had been mostly absent in my mind, showing up only when I was in danger.
I knocked and got no answer, so I replied to Anyan.
‘No, you were right to bring it up. Especially now. We’ve got to keep an eye on Trevor. It’s not like he can disappear me to Guantánamo, not with the creature able to apparate me out, but he knows more than enough about me to make my life miserable if he wanted to. Hell, everyone knows enough about me – Jack, Luke, all of them. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life rescuing friends and relations abducted to get me to cooperate. ’
‘We can keep people safe,’ Anyan said, but his voice was doubtful. He knew better; he was just trying to ease my mind.
I snorted. ‘Yeah, we can, by kidnapping them ourselves. My dad doesn’t want to live out his life in hiding. And Grizzie and Tracy are having their babies. They won’t want to raise them in the supernatural world. Can you imagine living out your life as a human at Ryu’s compound? Trapped there with people like Nyx?’ Ryu’s delightful cousin had once brought a human ‘snack lunch’ to a compound dinner party that had ended with a giant melee. The human had been killed, and I doubt Nyx had even noticed. She certainly hadn’t cared.
‘They don’t have to go to the compound; they could be with us…’
‘While we hide out, too. That’d be a fun life. All of us on the lam together. ’
‘I shouldn’t have brought this up now. You were amazing today…’
‘No, you were right to bring it up. I can’t take this treatment for granted and I can’t let my guard down, even for a second, around people like Trevor. ’
Anyan handed me one of the little sandwiches, the last one spread with cream cheese, smoked salmon, and a little cucumber. A peace offering. I smiled at him and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully and swallowing before talking again.
‘The irony of all this is that if one of them does “get” me, they’re going to be sorely disappointed. ’
Anyan cocked his head. ‘Why?’
‘Because I’m a terrible champion. ’ Anyan was obviously about to protest, so I raised my hand to still him. ‘Seriously, I am. Yes, I’ve got all this power, but I’m not doing all this stuff alone. We’re a team. We brought you back as a team, and you’re like the most valuable player on this team. Alone, I’d be nothing. ’
Anyan moved the tray over to the nightstand, then reached forward to draw me into his arms. He pulled me across him, so we were cuddled close. I let the warmth of his body seep into mine, gone cold.
‘You’ll never be nothing, Jane. And I’ll always be on your team; nothing could ever change that. But I understand what you’re really saying. ’
Of course he did. Anyan listened.
‘I couldn’t ask it of them,’ I said, and Anyan stroked a hand down my back, letting me know he’d heard me. He didn’t have to say anything, for it was the truth.
I’d changed my life when I unwittingly stepped into the champion’s shoes; there was no question about that. But someone had to battle the Red and the White, because as long as they were around, they were a threat to everybody. Fighting them wasn’t only my battle; it was really everyone’s. So Team Jane wasn’t really fighting for Jane … Team Jane was fighting for everyone, and I was just the (ax-wielding) figurehead.
But if I managed to kill the Red, then what? Trying to keep Team Jane around me would be pure selfishness. The threat would be gone, and the gods only knew what all the various factions competing for my favor would want me to fight for. And meanwhile I was useless without my cohorts. I also couldn’t imagine living my life without my friends, my family, my routine…
I may have become a champion, but I was no soldier. I hated this life, even if I enjoyed moments within it. I loved getting Anyan back, but I’d trade that feeling of triumph in a heartbeat for never having to feel his loss. I loved kicking the Red’s ass, but in the moment I was always scared shitless, working on pure adrenaline edged with terror.
If I kept this power, I would be viewed as a soldier for the rest of my life. No, not even a soldier – I’d be viewed as a weapon. At least a soldier has his or her humanity acknowledged. I’d just be something everyone was trying to use. And I couldn’t ask anyone, even Anyan, to follow me into that life.
And without Team Jane, I was pretty sure this weapon would break fairly quickly, like a cheap toy used inappropriately.
I knew I needed to talk to the creature about this issue, but right then there was another knock at the door. Only this was frantic pounding, and it also had no power signature.
The two of us glanced at each other as we stood up from the bed. I reached for the robes we’d discarded on the floor, throwing Anyan one and donning my own. Then we went out into the sitting room, Anyan moving to open the door as I took point, standing about six feet behind the barghest. I called the labrys, which came to me lazily, not bothering to light up. I took that as a good sign, but still kept up my guard as Anyan swung open the apartment’s front door.
Instead of an enemy, it was Hiral, the gwyllion. I’d never known the little creature to knock, but he was obviously not in his right mind. The normally blue-skinned creature looked green, his large eyes skipping over our faces as we moved toward him.
‘Not good, not good, not good,’ he mumbled, stumbling into the apartment.
‘Hiral, are you hurt?’ I said, squatting down to give him a once-over.
The little man waved his hand at me absently, as if he were swatting away a fly.
‘Not hurt. But we need to talk. This is not good. ’
We all made our way back into the kitchen, me leading the blabbering gwyllion.
‘They’re planning something big,’ Hiral said as I set a glass of water in front of him. He drank thirstily, using both of his long-fingered hands to hold the cup. When he finally spoke, his voice was strained.
‘It involves human weapons. I think nuclear. They’re being more careful as they know I’m a factor. Using the same shields you are,’ he said, making a circular motion around his head to indicate our own protections. ‘But a lot of people know, and not all of them are intelligent. Or circumspect. There have been hints. ’
‘We need more than hints,’ Anyan said.
‘And we can get them. There’s one of ’em, really high up in Morrigan’s council, who has a problem with whores. Can’t get enough of ’em. He’s got a favorite brothel he visits in secret, as they’re all supposed to be on lockdown until the big event. But I’ve followed him more than a few times, and he’s as routine as they come. He’ll be easy to nab, and we can get the information we want then. ’
‘Good. How powerful is he? How big a team will we need?’ Anyan was, as always, practical.
‘Not big at all,’ Hiral said. ‘The creature we’re after is – no offense, Jane – a halfling, but not a powerful one. Half goblin. Barely any power at all, though he’s a mean, clever son of a bitch. ’
We all stared at Hiral. Anyan’s eye twitched visibly.
The gwyllion never noticed, his eyes still scanning the ha
ndout as the bomb he dropped exploded.
‘Calls himself “the Healer”, he does. ’
Chapter Twenty-Two
VIP Jacuzzi Shower Facilities was only one of the amenities listed on the Ladybugs Sensual Massage website. Oddly, they also pointed out they had customer toilets, something I’d think any good brothel would have as a matter of course.
But what did I know.
I’d taken the time to Google the place before we went, using Blondie’s iPhone. She didn’t need it anymore, obviously, and I’d somehow ended up with it. Not that I didn’t feel a little pang every time I used it, remembering sitting across from her on trains, Googling away at our problems.
Research made me feel better about things, and confronting the Healer was definitely knocking my equilibrium out of place.
There was no reason for me to be that jittery, of course. Yeah, the Healer had kidnapped me, and yeah, I’d seen that hellhole torture chamber of a mansion he’d set up for himself. In his sadistic tastes, the goblin-halfling Healer was a combination of Dr Mengele and Pinhead from Hellraiser, although he affected a polite and educated Scottish brogue while he tortured his victims mercilessly.