CHAPTER XLIV
And some for safety took the dreadful leap; Some for the voice of Heaven seem'd calling on them; Some for advancement, or for lucre's sake-- I leap'd in frolic. --THE DREAM.
After a private conversation with Bridgenorth, Christian hastened to theDuke of Buckingham's hotel, taking at the same time such a route as toavoid meeting with any acquaintance. He was ushered into the apartmentof the Duke, whom he found cracking and eating filberts, with a flaskof excellent white wine at his elbow. "Christian," said his Grace,"come help me to laugh--I have bit Sir Charles Sedley--flung him for athousand, by the gods!"
"I am glad at your luck, my Lord Duke," replied Christian; "but I amcome here on serious business."
"Serious?--why, I shall hardly be serious in my life again--ha, ha,ha!--and for luck, it was no such thing--sheer wit, and excellentcontrivance; and but that I don't care to affront Fortune, like theold Greek general, I might tell her to her face--In this thou hadst noshare. You have heard, Ned Christian, that Mother Cresswell is dead?"
"Yes, I did hear that the devil hath got his due," answered Christian.
"Well," said the Duke, "you are ungrateful; for I know you have beenobliged to her, as well as others. Before George, a most benevolent andhelpful old lady; and that she might not sleep in an unblest grave,I betted--do you mark me--with Sedley, that I would write her funeralsermon; that it should be every word in praise of her life andconversation, that it should be all true, and yet that the diocesanshould be unable to lay his thumb on Quodling, my little chaplain, whoshould preach it."
"I perfectly see the difficulty, my lord," said Christian, who well knewthat if he wished to secure attention from this volatile nobleman, hemust first suffer, nay, encourage him, to exhaust the topic, whatever itmight be, that had got temporary possession of his pineal gland.
"Why," said the Duke, "I had caused my little Quodling to go through hisoration thus--'That whatever evil reports had passed current during thelifetime of the worthy matron whom they had restored to dust that day,malice herself could not deny that she was born well, married well,lived well, and died well; since she was born in Shadwell, married toCresswell, lived in Camberwell, and died in Bridewell.' Here endedthe oration, and with it Sedley's ambitious hopes of overreachingBuckingham--ha, ha, ha!--And now, Master Christian, what are yourcommands for me to-day?"
"First, to thank your Grace for being so attentive as to send soformidable a person as Colonel Blood, to wait upon your poor friend andservant. Faith, he took such an interest in my leaving town, that hewanted to compel me to do it at point of fox, so I was obliged to spilla little of his malapert blood. Your Grace's swordsmen have had ill luckof late; and it is hard, since you always choose the best hands, andsuch scrupleless knaves too."
"Come now, Christian," said the Duke, "do not thus exult over me;a great man, if I may so call myself, is never greater than amidmiscarriage. I only played this little trick on you, Christian, toimpress on you a wholesome idea of the interest I take in your motions.The scoundrel's having dared to draw upon you, is a thing not to beforgiven.--What! injure my old friend Christian?"
"And why not," said Christian coolly, "if your old friend was sostubborn as not to go out of town, like a good boy, when your Gracerequired him to do so, for the civil purpose of entertaining his niecein his absence?"
"How--what!--how do you mean by _my_ entertaining your niece, MasterChristian?" said the Duke. "She was a personage far beyond my poorattentions, being destined, if I recollect aright, to something likeroyal favour."
"It was her fate, however, to be the guest of your Grace's convent fora brace of days, or so. Marry, my lord, the father confessor was not athome, and--for convents have been scaled of late--returned not till thebird was flown."
"Christian, thou art an old reynard--I see there is no doubling withthee. It was thou, then, that stole away my pretty prize, but left mesomething so much prettier in my mind, that, had it not made itselfwings to fly away with, I would have placed it in a cage of gold. Neverbe downcast, man; I forgive thee--I forgive thee."
"Your Grace is of a most merciful disposition, especially considering itis I who have had the wrong; and sages have said, that he who doth theinjury is less apt to forgive than he who only sustains it."
"True, true, Christian," said the Duke, "which, as you say, is somethingquite new, and places my clemency in a striking point of view. Well,then, thou forgiven man, when shall I see my Mauritanian Princessagain?"
"Wherever I am certain that a quibble, and a carwhichit, for a play or asermon, will not banish her from your Grace's memory."
"Not all the wit of South, or of Etherege," said Buckingham hastily, "tosay nothing of my own, shall in future make me oblivious of what I owethe Morisco Princess."
"Yet, to leave the fair lady out of thought for a little while--a verylittle while," said Christian, "since I swear that in due time yourGrace shall see her, and know in her the most extraordinary woman thatthe age has produced--to leave her, I say out of sight for a littlewhile, has your Grace had late notice of your Duchess's health?"
"Health," said the Duke. "Umph--no--nothing particular. She has beenill--but----"
"She is no longer so," subjoined Christian; "she died in Yorkshireforty-eight hours since."
"Thou must deal with the devil," said the Duke.
"It would ill become one of my name to do so," replied Christian. "Butin the brief interval, since your Grace hath known of an event whichhath not yet reached the public ear, you have, I believe, made proposalsto the King for the hand of the Lady Anne, second daughter of the Dukeof York, and your Grace's proposals have been rejected."
"Fiends and firebrands, villain!" said the Duke, starting up and seizingChristian by the collar; "who hath told thee that?"
"Take your hand from my cloak, my Lord Duke, and I may answer you," saidChristian. "I have a scurvy touch of old puritanical humour about me. Iabide not the imposition of hands--take off your grasp from my cloak, orI will find means to make you unloose it."
The Duke, who had kept his right hand on his dagger-hilt while he heldChristian's collar with his left, unloosed it as he spoke, but slowly,and as one who rather suspends than abandons the execution of some hastyimpulse; while Christian, adjusting his cloak with perfect composure,said, "Soh--my cloak being at liberty, we speak on equal terms. I comenot to insult your Grace, but to offer you vengeance for the insult youhave received."
"Vengeance!" said the Duke--"It is the dearest proffer man canpresent to me in my present mood. I hunger for vengeance--thirst forvengeance--could die to ensure vengeance!---'Sdeath!" he continued,walking up and down the large apartment with the most unrestrained andviolent agitation; "I have chased this repulse out of my brain with tenthousand trifles, because I thought no one knew it. But it is known, andto thee, the very common-sewer of Court-secrets--the honour of Villiersis in thy keeping, Ned Christian! Speak, thou man of wiles and ofintrigue--on whom dost thou promise the vengeance? Speak! and if thyanswers meet my desires, I will make a bargain with thee as willingly aswith thy master, Satan himself."
"I will not be," said Christian, "so unreasonable in my terms as storiestell of the old apostate; I will offer your Grace, as he might do,temporal prosperity and revenge, which is his frequent recruiting money,but I leave it to yourself to provide, as you may be pleased, for yourfuture salvation."
The Duke, gazing upon him fixedly and sadly, replied, "I would to God,Christian, that I could read what purpose of damnable villainy thou hastto propose to me in thy countenance, without the necessity of thy usingwords!"
"Your Grace can but try a guess," said Christian, calmly smiling.
"No," replied the Duke, after gazing at him again for the space of aminute; "thou art so deeply dyed a hypocrite, that thy mean features,and clear grey eye, are as likely to conceal treason, as any pettyscheme of theft or larceny more corresponding to your degree."
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p; "Treason, my lord!" echoed Christian; "you may have guessed more nearlythan you were aware of. I honour your Grace's penetration."
"Treason?" echoed the Duke. "Who dare name such a crime to me?"
"If a name startles your Grace, you may call it vengeance--vengeance onthe cabal of councillors, who have ever countermined you, in spiteof your wit and your interest with the King.--Vengeance on Arlington,Ormond--on Charles himself."
"No, by Heaven," said the Duke, resuming his disordered walk through theapartment--"Vengeance on these rats of the Privy Council,--come at itas you will. But the King!--never--never. I have provoked him a hundredtimes, where he has stirred me once. I have crossed his path in stateintrigue--rivalled him in love--had the advantage in both,--and, d--nit, he has forgiven me! If treason would put me in his throne, I have noapology for it--it were worse than bestial ingratitude."
"Nobly spoken, my lord," said Christian; "and consistent alike withthe obligations under which your Grace lies to Charles Stewart, and thesense you have ever shown of them.--But it signifies not. If yourGrace patronise not our enterprise, there is Shaftesbury--there isMonmouth----"
"Scoundrel!" exclaimed the Duke, even more vehemently agitated thanbefore, "think you that you shall carry on with others an enterprisewhich I have refused?--No, by every heathen and every Christiangod!--Hark ye, Christian, I will arrest you on the spot--I will, by godsand devils, and carry you to unravel your plot at Whitehall."
"Where the first words I speak," answered the imperturbable Christian,"will be to inform the Privy Council in what place they may find certainletters, wherewith your Grace has honoured your poor vassal, containing,as I think, particulars which his Majesty will read with more surprisethan pleasure."
"'Sdeath, villain!" said the Duke, once more laying his hand on hisponiard-hilt, "thou hast me again at advantage. I know not why I forbearto poniard you where you stand!"
"I might fall, my Lord Duke," said Christian, slightly colouring,and putting his right hand into his bosom, "though not, I think,unavenged--for I have not put my person into this peril altogetherwithout means of defence. I might fall, but, alas! your Grace'scorrespondence is in hands, which, by that very act, would be renderedsufficiently active in handing them to the King and the Privy Council.What say you to the Moorish Princess, my Lord Duke? What if I have lefther executrix of my will, with certain instructions how to proceed if Ireturn not unharmed from York Place? Oh, my lord, though my head isin the wolf's mouth, I was not goose enough to place it there withoutsettling how many carabines should be fired on the wolf, so soon as mydying cackle was heard.--Pshaw, my Lord Duke! you deal with a man ofsense and courage, yet you speak to him as a child and a coward."
The Duke threw himself into a chair, fixed his eyes on the ground, andspoke without raising them. "I am about to call Jerningham," he said;"but fear nothing--it is only for a draught of wine--That stuff onthe table may be a vehicle of filberts, and walnuts, but not for suchcommunications as yours.--Bring me champagne," he said to the attendantwho answered to his summons.
The domestic returned, and brought a flask of champagne, with two largesilver cups. One of them he filled for Buckingham, who, contrary to theusual etiquette, was always served first at home, and then offered theother to Christian, who declined to receive it.
The Duke drank off the large goblet which was presented to him, and fora moment covered his forehead with the palm of his hand; then instantlywithdrew it, and said, "Christian, speak your errand plainly. We knoweach other. If my reputation be in some degree in your hands, you arewell aware that your life is in mine. Sit down," he said, taking apistol from his bosom and laying it on the table--"Sit down, and let mehear your proposal."
"My lord," said Christian, smiling, "I shall produce no such ultimateargument on my part, though possibly, in time of need, I may not befound destitute of them. But my defence is in the situation of things,and in the composed view which, doubtless, your Majesty will take ofthem."
"Majesty!" repeated the Duke--"My good friend Christian, you have keptcompany with the Puritans so long, that you confuse the ordinary titlesof the Court."
"I know not how to apologise," said Christian, "unless your Grace willsuppose that I spoke by prophecy."
"Such as the devil delivered to Macbeth," said the Duke--again paced thechamber, and again seated himself, and said, "Be plain, Christian--speakout at once, and manfully, what is it you intend?"
"_I_," said Christian--"What should I do?--I can do nothing in sucha matter; but I thought it right that your Grace should know thatthe godly of this city"--(he spoke the word with a kind of ironicalgrin)--"are impatient of inactivity, and must needs be up and doing. Mybrother Bridgenorth is at the head of all old Weiver's congregation;for you must know, that, after floundering from one faith to another, hehath now got beyond ordinances, and is become a Fifth-Monarchy man. Hehas nigh two hundred of Weiver's people, fully equipped, and ready tofall on; and, with slight aid from your Grace's people, they must carryWhitehall, and make prisoners of all within it."
"Rascal!" said the Duke, "and is it to a Peer of England you make thiscommunication?"
"Nay," answered Christian, "I admit it would be extreme folly in yourGrace to appear until all is over. But let me give Blood and theothers a hint on your part. There are the four Germans also--rightKnipperdolings and Anabaptists--will be specially useful. You are wise,my lord, and know the value of a corps of domestic gladiators, as wellas did Octavius, Lepidus, and Anthony, when, by such family forces, theydivided the world by indenture tripartite."
"Stay, stay," said the Duke. "Even if these bloodhounds were tojoin with you--not that I would permit it without the most positiveassurances for the King's personal safety--but say the villains were tojoin, what hope have you of carrying the Court?"
"Bully Tom Armstrong,[*] my lord, hath promised his interest with theLife Guards. Then there are my Lord Shaftesbury's brisk boys in thecity--thirty thousand on the holding up a finger."
[*] Thomas, or Sir Thomas Armstrong, a person who had distinguished himself in youth by duels and drunken exploits. He was particularly connected with the Duke of Monmouth, and was said to be concerned in the Rye-House Plot, for which he suffered capital punishment, 20th June 1684.
"Let him hold up both hands, and if he count a hundred for each finger,"said the Duke, "it will be more than I expect. You have not spoken tohim?"
"Surely not till your Grace's pleasure was known. But, if he is notapplied to, there is the Dutch train, Hans Snorehout's congregation, inthe Strand--there are the French Protestants in Piccadilly--there arethe family of Levi in Lewkenor's Lane--the Muggletonians in ThamesStreet----"
"Ah, faugh!--Out upon them--out upon them!--How the knaves will stink ofcheese and tobacco when they come upon action!--they will drown all theperfumes in Whitehall. Spare me the detail; and let me know, my dearestNed, the sum total of thy most odoriferous forces."
"Fifteen hundred men, well armed," said Christian, "besides the rabblethat will rise to a certainty--they have already nearly torn to piecesthe prisoners who were this day acquitted on account of the Plot."
"All, then, I understand.--And now, hark ye, most Christian Christian,"said he, wheeling his chair full in front of that on which his agentwas seated, "you have told me many things to-day--Shall I be equallycommunicative? Shall I show you that my accuracy of information matchesyours? Shall I tell you, in a word, why you have at once resolved topush every one, from the Puritan to the free-thinker, upon a generalattack of the Palace of Whitehall, without allowing me, a peer of therealm, time either to pause upon or to prepare for a step so desperate?Shall I tell you why you would lead or drive, seduce or compel me, intocountenancing your measures?"
"My lord, if you please to form a guess," said Christian, "I will answerwith all sincerity, if you have assigned the right cause."
"The Countess of Derby is this day arrived, and attends the Court thisevening, with hopes of the kindest reception. She may be surprised amidthe m
elee?--Ha! said I not right, Master Christian? You, who pretend tooffer me revenge, know yourself its exquisite sweetness."
"I would not presume," said Christian, half smiling, "to offer yourGrace a dish without acting as your taster as well as purveyor."
"That's honestly said," said the Duke. "Away then, my friend. Give Bloodthis ring--he knows it, and knows how to obey him who bears it. Lethim assemble my gladiators, as thou dost most wittily term my _coupjarrets_. The old scheme of the German music may be resorted to, for Ithink thou hast the instruments ready. But take notice, I know nothingon't; and Rowley's person must be safe--I will hang and burn on allhands if a hair of his black periwig[*] be but singed.--Then what is tofollow--a Lord Protector of the realm--or stay--Cromwell has madethe word somewhat slovenly and unpopular--a Lord Lieutenant of theKingdom?--The patriots who take it on themselves to avenge the injusticedone to the country, and to remove evil counsellors from beforethe King's throne, that it may be henceforward established inrighteousness--so I think the rubric runs--cannot fail to make a fittingchoice."
[*] Charles, to suit his dark complexion, always wore a black peruke. He used to say of the players, that if they wished to represent a villain on the stage, "Oddsfish, they always clapp'd on him a black periwig, whereas the greatest rogue in England [meaning, probably, Dr. Oates] wears a white one."--_See CIBBER's Apology_.
"They cannot, my Lord Duke," said Christian, "since there is but one manin the three kingdoms on whom that choice can possibly fall."
"I thank you Christian," said his Grace; "and I trust you. Away, andmake all ready. Be assured your services shall not be forgot. We willhave you near to us."
"My Lord Duke," said Christian, "you bind me doubly to you. But rememberthat as your Grace is spared any obnoxious proceedings which may befallin the way of military execution, or otherwise, so it will be advisablethat you hold yourself in preparation, upon a moment's notice, to putyourself at the head of a band of honourable friends and allies, andcome presently to the palace, where you will be received by the victorsas a commander, and by the vanquished as a preserver."
"I conceive you--I conceive you. I will be in prompt readiness," saidthe Duke.
"Ay, my lord," continued Christian; "and for Heaven's sake, let none ofthose toys, which are the very Delilahs of your imagination, comeacross your Grace this evening, and interfere with the execution of thissublime scheme."
"Why, Christian, dost think me mad?" was his Grace's emphatic reply. "Itis you who linger, when all should be ordered for a deed so daring.Go then.--But hark ye, Ned; ere you go, tell me when I shall againsee yonder thing of fire and air--yon Eastern Peri, that glides intoapartments by the keyhole, and leaves them through the casement--yonblack-eyed houri of the Mahometan paradise--when, I say, shall I see heronce more?"
"When your Grace has the truncheon of Lord Lieutenant of the Kingdom,"said Christian, and left the apartment.
Buckingham stood fixed in contemplation for a moment after he was gone."Should I have done this?" he said, arguing the matter with himself; "orhad I the choice rather of doing aught else? Should I not hasten to theCourt, and make Charles aware of the treason which besets him? I will,by Heaven?--Here, Jerningham, my coach, with the despatch of light!--Iwill throw myself at his feet, and tell him of all the follies which Ihave dreamed of with this Christian.--And then he will laugh at me, andspurn me.--No, I have kneeled to him to-day already, and my repulse wasnothing gentle. To be spurned once in the sun's daily round is enoughfor Buckingham."
Having made this reflection, he seated himself, and began hastily tomark down the young nobles and gentlemen of quality, and others, theirvery ignoble companions, who he supposed might be likely to assume himfor their leader in any popular disturbance. He had nearly completed it,when Jerningham entered, to say the coach would be ready in an instant,and to bring his master's sword, hat, and cloak.
"Let the coachman draw off," said the Duke, "but be in readiness. Andsend to the gentlemen thou wilt find named in this list; say I am butill at ease, and wish their company to a light collation. Let instantexpedition be made, and care not for expense; you will find most of themat the Club House in Fuller's Rents."[*]
[*] The place of meeting of the Green Ribbon Club. "Their place of meeting," says Roger North, "was in a sort of Carrefour at Chancery Lance, in a centre of business and company most proper for such anglers of fools. The house was double balconied in front, as may yet be seen, for the clubbers to issue forth _in fresco_, with hats and no perukes, pipes in their mouths, merry faces, and dilated throats for vocal encouragement of the canaglia below on usual and unusual occasions."
The preparations for festivity were speedily made, and the intendedguests, most of them persons who were at leisure for any call thatpromised pleasure, though sometimes more deaf to those of duty, beganspeedily to assemble. There were many youths of the highest rank, andwith them, as is usual in those circles, many of a different class, whomtalents, or impudence, or wit, or a turn for gambling, had reared upinto companions for the great and the gay. The Duke of Buckingham was ageneral patron of persons of this description; and a numerous attendancetook place on the present occasion.
The festivity was pursued with the usual appliances of wine, music, andgames of hazard; with which, however, there mingled in that period muchmore wit, and a good deal more gross profligacy of conversation, thanthe talents of the present generation can supply, or their taste wouldpermit.
The Duke himself proved the complete command which he possessed over hisversatile character, by maintaining the frolic, the laugh, and the jest,while his ear caught up, and with eagerness, the most distant sounds, asintimating the commencement of Christian's revolutionary project. Suchsounds were heard from time to time, and from time to time they diedaway, without any of those consequences which Buckingham expected.
At length, and when it was late in the evening, Jerningham announcedMaster Chiffinch from the Court; and that worthy personage followed theannunciation.
"Strange things have happened, my Lord Duke," he said; "your presence atCourt is instantly required by his Majesty."
"You alarm me," said Buckingham, standing up. "I hope nothing hashappened--I hope there is nothing wrong--I hope his Majesty is well?"
"Perfectly well," said Chiffinch; "and desirous to see your Gracewithout a moment's delay."
"This is sudden," said the Duke. "You see I have had merry fellows aboutme, and am scarce in case to appear, Chiffinch."
"Your Grace seems to be in very handsome plight," said Chiffinch; "andyou know his Majesty is gracious enough to make allowances."
"True," said the Duke, not a little anxious in his mind, touching thecause of this unexpected summons--"True--his Majesty is most gracious--Iwill order my coach."
"Mine is below," replied the royal messenger; "it will save time, ifyour Grace will condescend to use it."
Forced from every evasion, Buckingham took a goblet from the table, andrequested his friends to remain at his palace so long as they could findthe means of amusement there. He expected, he said, to return almostimmediately; if not, he would take farewell of them with his usualtoast, "May all of us that are not hanged in the interval, meet togetheragain here on the first Monday of next month."
This standing toast of the Duke bore reference to the character ofseveral of his guests; but he did not drink it on the present occasionwithout some anticipation concerning his own fate, in case Christian hadbetrayed him. He hastily made some addition to his dress, and attendedChiffinch in the chariot to Whitehall.