you trying to tell me something?” He leaned up on one elbow to look at her.
“No. I wish I was. Don’t you wonder why it hasn’t happened for us yet? What if I can’t? What if I’m damaged now?”
“Then we’ll just spoil our nephew. What’s meant to be will be. It’s nothing to worry about. If we have children, good. If we don’t, that’s fine too. I married you for love, not for breeding stock.
“Anyway, it hasn’t been that long. It isn’t time to worry, yet. Give yourself at least two years before you start thinking something is wrong.” Hixson said. He leaned over, kissed her and lay awake, too, thinking.
He’s right, Sarah thought. I’m just borrowing trouble. It isn’t time to worry yet. She thought over the babies she had known. Emma had been married a couple, maybe three, years before Caleb came along. All things to their season, she told herself. When the time is right, it will happen. She didn’t exactly convince herself, but it dulled the edge of the worry enough that she could sleep.
Hixson, for his part, felt all the worry dredged up again. All he knew for certain was that Sarah’s mother had died in childbirth, and that she had also suffered an attack as Sarah had. Emma had hinted that Sarah was much like her mother.
Putting all the pieces together in his mind, Hixson came to the conclusion that Sarah might very well die in childbirth. This was not a risk he was anxious to take. Sure, a man needed sons to help with the farm, and daughters to coddle. But at what price?
With Sarah, he realized, he had his dream. She had a great power, a great calling. And she needed him to help her use them. He was now her guardian, husband, provider, friend and lover. She needed the anchor of his love and strength to do what she did without harm to herself.
Hixson wasn’t sure he ever wanted a child, if it meant he could lose Sarah. He lay in the warm dark night, listening to her even breathing, and felt deeply torn.
She wanted children, and he wanted her to have all she ever dreamed of. But if that meant her life, how could he bear it? It was a thought so shameful his mind could barely approach it; he almost hoped that she was damaged, and unable to have children. Then he never had to take the chance.
June 12th, 1866--Dover Pennsylvania
Farm life meant many different kinds of things. One aspect of life in a farming community that Sarah especially enjoyed was the way neighbors worked together. Sometimes, they cooperated for the good of the community at large. Other times, it was to benefit a family or an individual.
Two barn raisings were held that spring. One was for Hixson and Sarah’s own. She would have been overcome at this generosity, but she had only recently been to another family’s barn raising.
Always a willing hand at any such event, she fit right in. It gave her a new perspective on what these community efforts meant. Sarah had learned that this business of working together was more than neighbors helping neighbors. It was socializing, one. It was a chance to pay debts, for another. You might be paying ahead, or repaying a past debt, but it was of no consequence which came first. To show up, work with the rest, and enjoy the company was all that was needed.
Sarah’s cheerful disposition made her well-liked by the neighbor ladies. She worked with alacrity, and volunteered for anything. She was an excellent cook, and soon became known for that, as well as her other attributes.
The men in the area liked having her around, but for an additional reason. None of them would have been so rude as to ogle another man’s wife, but they sure enjoyed looking at her.
Old Mr. Haught, the man for whom Hixson and Sarah were share cropping, attended the barn-raising, too. Hixson had been to see him, and of course the old man knew all the rest of the Morrises, but he had not yet met Sarah.
He looked to be over a hundred years old. He walked with two canes, and not very well at that. There wasn’t anything for him to do at a barn-raising, but he wasn’t here to work. Mr. Haught wanted to see in whose hands his lifetime of work was going to end up. He had known Hixson all the boy’s life. He had known Hixson’s father all of his life, too.
Dover was too small a town for Mr. Haught to not have heard about Sarah and her gift. He was deeply suspicious of such goings on and decided to have a look for himself. His uncle had been a sailor and told stories about wild witch doctors. If that was the case here, he was going to put a stop to it, and right now!
He had nearly made up his mind to cast the devil out, and then she came out the door. Mr. Haught was too wizened and wary to be taken in by her beauty, at first. But then Sarah extended her hand and made him welcome. She walked with him up to sit on the porch and put a pillow on the chair before he sat down.
She looked at him in the strangest way. He felt like she could look right down deep inside. Her round green eyes seemed to grow rounder, and they softened.
“Mr. Haught, I hope you won’t think me bold to talk this way. I think I can help you with your pain. It would make you sleep a while, if I do. I don’t imagine you’d care to take a nap with all these folks around, of course.
“If you stay around after everyone else has gone home, I think Hixson and Mr. Morris would make sure you got home alright, after.” Sarah could see the arthritic grind of pain on the man.
He was so uncomfortable, in fact, that Sarah was having a difficult time. The light was starting to shine just on him, and she fought to not lose her field of view. Hixson walked over to shake the man’s hand and thank him for being there. One look at his wife told him almost everything. He looked at Mr. Haught, and back to Sarah, and called for Momma to come out.
“Momma! Come on out here a minute.” He shouted into the house. “Can you set with Mr. Haught a while? I need to talk to Sarah, private.”
When Momma came outside, he whispered to her, “the old man is hurting and she’s getting sucked in. This ain’t the time, so I’m getting her away from it for a bit. Keep him company?”
He turned to Mr. Haught and said, “You’ll excuse us, Mr. Haught? I just need to steal her away for a moment.” He ushered Sarah away.
Momma looked over at Mr. Haught, expecting a sharp comment of some sort. She had known him all her life and he had seldom been anything but sharp. Even in church he was apt to be snappish. He gave as generously as anyone else when duty called, but not with a joyful heart. He was a talented complainer, and she expected him to indulge his talent.
Instead, he was sitting there with a hint of a grin on his face. There was a look in his eye that would have passed for love in another man. Momma nearly fell over when the old man patted her hand and complimented Sarah.
“That there is a fine girl, Rosalia. Your Hixson did right well to marry her.” This was compliment of considerable magnitude, coming from Mr. Haught. Those few souls in earshot were stunned to hear it. He was not a man known for flowery compliments.
Hixson kept Sarah busy, and separated from Mr. Haught until almost everyone had gone home for the day. The old man waited around, hoping to spend a little more time with her. He didn’t know that she had been waiting to see him, too.
“I don’t think Mr. Haught is going to do well getting up on the table.” Momma could see where things were headed.
“That’s alright.” Sarah replied. “Mr. Haught, you just set comfortable in that chair and relax.” She sat on her heels, facing perpendicular to Mr. Haught. The last thing she wanted was to fall face-first into his lap.
Sarah held her open hands before her, looked skyward, and waited for the light to gather. It took longer than usual, and more concentration on her part. She never knew why, but the only way the light gathered effortlessly was if she were standing.
Mr. Haught’s eyes grew larger and larger as he saw the glow collect on her palms. Hixson squatted down right behind Sarah, so close he almost touched, with one knee on each side of her.
After a few moments, Sarah put her hands on Mr. Haught’s knee. A look of wonder flashed across his face, and then he started to nod off. Momma thought he looked the same as he did in church on Sunday.
..nodding off.
Sarah reeled as she sat, but did not fall. Hixson helped her up and then took her inside. She was very unsteady and dazed, but awake. He settled her in a chair, and went outside.
Poppa, Hixson and Charlton collected Mr. Haught and brought him to his house in the wagon Poppa decided to stay and watch over him a while. Momma and Eliza cleaned up while Annie fed baby Overby. Poppa came along after a while, marveling at the change in Mr. Haught.
“He woke up cheerful as songbird. Jumped right up out of bed like a youngster.” Poppa reported with a smile. “He’s getting around better right now than I have ever seen him do. Even more astounding is that he’s talking sweet about our Sarah. I do believe the old buzzard’s in love.”
“Poppa!” Momma scolded. “He just appreciates feeling better!”
“No, it’s love. I’m sure of it.” Poppa laughed.
Momma twisted a dishtowel and looked a warning at Poppa.
“It’s love; it’s love.” Poppa sang as he trotted around the table.
Momma was hot on his heels, snapping the towel and telling him to behave.
When Momma and Poppa were winded from laughing and chasing, Annie, also laughing, said, “He’s right Momma. Mr. Haught looks different when he looks at Sarah, even before she helped him with his pain. He spent the whole day looking for her. Maybe it is love.”
Sarah loved the teasing and