Still with my back to him, I reach over across my chest to place a hand gently on the scar at my left shoulder. “The time I didn’t say I love you fast enough.”
I turn again, and with my face lowered, I touch the scar at my ribs. “The time Dino found a text message on my phone from my brother, Miguel.” I blink down at the ground. “It was a photo of my husband at a bar, laughing in the company of another woman.”
My left thigh. “The time Luc made a joke about Dino and I laughed.”
Between my breast and underarm. “The time Dino forgot my birthday, and I didn’t remind him.”
Near my bellybutton. “The time I went to the mall and didn’t tell anyone.”
My hip. “The time I burned dinner.”
Not knowing how to be graceful about it, I simply touch the space between my thighs, gently cupping my most intimate place. “The time I stupidly asked Dino for a divorce.” He wouldn’t know it from my position, but this scar is relatively bigger than the others.
A sudden feeling of self-consciousness washes over me. I lift my shaking hands to cover my small breasts. I stand there a while before I find the words I am looking for.
“These are the scars he left me. And though these hurt, the most painful ones are those you can’t see.” I force open my eyes and meet his. “My husband convinced himself that he loved me. I was forced to love him back. I’m not sorry he’s dead.” My body shaking with pent up rage, I rasp, “I hated him.”
I am so miserable that I can barely get out the words. “My marriage consisted of three emotions. Happiness, anger, and sadness. Happiness when we first married, anger when I realized Dino wasn’t the prince I thought he was, and sadness when I finally understood that nobody was coming to save me.” I pause a short while, before adding coolly, “So I planned to save myself.”
As I stare into those blue eyes, I’m slightly shocked to find them devoid of pity.
Feeling empowered, I stand tall. Julius slides out of bed, naked as the day he was born, and walks over to me, his long, thick cock swinging. I hold his eyes. He gets closer and closer until we’re almost toe to toe. My heart beats faster and faster, and the mixture of feelings flowing inside me becomes too much. So much so it’s frightening.
Taking a shuddering breath, I close my eyes, feeling the heat of his bare body so close to mine.
He leans down and his chest brushes mine, causing a delicious friction on the way down. I swallow hard as my core pulses. When he straightens and my face gravitates upward, my lips silently seek his. I lean closer, and at the very moment I move to stand on my tiptoes, something cool covers me.
My eyes flutter open to find Julius standing a foot away from me, Ling’s robe draped over my shoulders.
The heat of the sudden flush takes me by surprise.
Oh, God. I showed him my spoiled body then tried to kiss him. Of course he doesn’t want me. I’m damaged goods.
Dino made sure no one would want me ever again.
Disgrace turns my body cold.
Reaching behind me, I find the doorknob and turn it. As I attempt to slip out of the bedroom on shaking legs, Julius slips an arm around my back then bends, placing the other around the backs of my knees, lifting me as if I weigh nothing at all. The rush of panic that follows leaves me no choice but to wrap my arms around his neck as he walks me back to the bed.
Without asking permission, he tugs the open robe off with a single pull, leaving me only in the black lace panties—thank you, Ling—and gently places me in the center of the bed.
I panic some more, and I do this in earsplitting silence.
But this is Julius, and I should know better by now. Unfortunately, the past has taught me to expect the unexpected.
The mattress dips when he slides in next to me, reaching over to pull the covers over the both of us. He lays his head on the pillow we share, our faces close, almost nose to nose, and his hand comes to rest gently on my hip, kneading the space there with his long fingers.
“Kill him myself,” he mutters into the partial darkness. “Wish I could go back to that day.”
His words bring a harsh reaction. My stomach tightens, and my flesh breaks out in goose bumps.
He keeps speaking, softly, so as not to scare me. “Beat him. Torture him. Break him. Take him out. I’d do it. They’d have to use dental records to identify him. I wouldn’t bat an eye at his mangled corpse.” He sighs lightly. “Destroy every piece of him, baby. I’d do it.”
Julius doesn’t say it, but in my mind, I hear him say, ‘I’d do it for you.’
His face seems nearer than before, and it takes me a moment to realize I’m the one unconsciously seeking him out, seeking out the warmth of his lips.
“Kiss me,” I beg on a whisper.
I want it more than I want my next breath.
But instead, he squeezes my hip, almost punishingly. “Bring him back just to do it all over again.”
His words are a decree, a pledge, a vow. These are the things he would do for me. These are the things he would do to keep me safe.
Oh, God.
My pussy clenches in arousal, and it shocks me.
What the hell is wrong with me? I should not be turned on by this. Violence was not my thing. Why was I turned on by this?
Wide-eyed, I blink up into his face, and the tip of my nose brushes his. “Please,” I implore, placing my hands on his taut stomach then sliding them up to his chest, over to grip his shoulders. “Kiss me.”
But as I move to place my lips on him, he moves back an inch, looking me in the eye. “This is how it is. I don’t fuck around. If I’m done with you, I’ll tell you. You’ll never not know where you stand with me, because I’ll keep you by my fucking side for always.”
That is some declaration. Perhaps it isn’t a declaration of love, but it is as close to it as I am going to get from Julius. And to me, it’s perfect in every goddamn way.
My stomach warms and my body unwinds; the happiness brought from that one direct statement is overwhelming.
“Okay,” I breathe, because I can’t seem to do much else with myself.
He looks down at my parted lips, and my insides singe at the heat in his eyes. His words are everything. “For always.”
I realize he needs something from me. And I give it to him.
I repeat quietly, but with meaning, “For always.”
His next words are less hearts-and-flowers and more fire-and-brimstone. “You fuck around on me,” he starts, reaching up to run his warm fingers down my jawline. “They won’t ever find your body, baby.”
It’s moments like this that remind me of the man Julius is. It’s not often I see the man behind the mask, but I know he’s there. I feel him lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to come out and play.
But his words don’t alarm me. They don’t scare me, because I will never fuck around on this man. There will be no other for me, only him, and I will make him happy. He will never regret his decision to keep me. I swear it. I am his. From this moment on, I belong to him.
You creepy fuck, that almost sounded like wedding vows.
Yeah, I muse in silence. I suppose they did.
Right now, here with Julius, I am reclaiming ownership of my body. And I am doing that by giving myself to him. Shuffling closer, I press my bare breasts against his chest, my nipples taut in excitement.
My voice husky with need, I plead for the last time, “You’re driving me crazy, baby. Now, please, for the love of God.” My hands slide up from his shoulders and gently cup the sides of his neck. “Kiss me.”
Ask and you shall receive.
The hand on my hip pulls me impossibly close and, without thinking, I hook my right thigh over Julius. The unconscious move has the tip of his thick, hard cock pressed up against the delicate material of my panties, the hot heat of him forcing a light moan from me.
It’s been so long since arousal shook me like this, years even. I had forgotten what an orgasm felt like, so when Juliu
s reaches around me, gripping the cheeks of my ass in his hands, squeezing and kneading, undulating against my wet panty-covered pussy with just the right amount of pressure, I don’t even feel it coming.
My heart begins to race, and I feel like I’m free-falling. My eyes snap open, wide, and spots of color dance around the room. My mouth rounds in an O as Julius rolls his hips, causing firmer friction.
It’s right there.
Right there.
Right… there.
My nails dig into his nape, holding him against me. My cheek against his, I feel his soft panting against my skin, and it’s so fucking hot that I whimper. Softly at first, then louder, and louder again as my pussy begins to clench uncontrollably, my hips thrust in time with the contractions. I moan long and low, as if I were an animal in heat. I suppose it’s a fitting reaction considering I feel wild at this very moment. Ecstasy pulses through me, radiating outward throughout my entire body, and a sudden weakness has me barely able to keep my arms around him.
I’m a puddle of bliss, panting against his warm cheek.
My panties are now soaked. I can feel the wetness against my hypersensitive clit, and I shudder all over. Swallowing with effort, I place my lips against his cheek and mutter a hushed, “Sorry.”
His silent laughter makes me smile. He pulls back to look at me, his eyes soft. “You can apologize for a lot of things, Ana.” He brings his lips to mine, and utters against them, “But don’t ever apologize for that. Never that, baby.”
Julius leans into me, taking my bottom lip into his mouth, suckling on it. His full lips taste of mint and liquor, and my tongue darts out to lick him, following the seam of his mouth. He tastes like sex and happiness. Gripping me tightly, he kisses me. I part my lips, accepting everything he has to offer. His tongue brushes against mine. They dance together, mating, and I press my face closer, into his. He groans into my mouth, and my thighs tightens around his hips.
In a move that surprises me, Julius slides one hand up my back, over my nape, tangling his fingers into my hair, then growls, “Fucking love this hair. Don’t you ever fucking cut this hair.” His hand fists into the long, thick strands the color of dark chocolate and he tugs lightly, enough to make his point. “I will be pissed as hell, baby.”
At this moment, high on what could possibly be the best orgasm of my life, I would agree to anything Julius asked of me. “Cualquier cosa por ti, querido.” I close off by pulling against his hold, forcing him to let go of my hair, to place my lips against his, kissing his full lips as softly as I can.
Anything for you, my darling.
He moans into my mouth. “Fuck me. I can’t wait any more. My cock needs in you.” He kisses me, deep, wet, hot. His large hand cups my wet crotch, pressing his fingertip into the seam of my pussy and rubbing gently. His lip curls and his eyes flash, as he drawls, “You gonna let me in that tight pussy, baby? That hot, wet pussy?”
Oh, God. Such a pretty mouth talking such filth. So dirty.
I love it.
The things he’s saying are going to give me a heart attack and an orgasm, simultaneously.
I feel weak against him, so weak I can’t even make myself speak. Instead, I nod with enthusiasm, eager to feel him.
His eyes flash, clearly pleased at my willing response. Reaching up to his neck, he takes my hands and brings them down, past his stomach, lower still, guiding them down before wrapping them around his rigid shaft.
And that’s when I realize that’s a whole lot of cock.
“It’s so big,” I mumble as I run my loose fingers over the thick, inflexible heat. And this is not a good thing. I mumble this with pure misery, a frown on my face.
“Yes, it is,” he returns. He does not state this is an I’m-a-cocky-asshole way; he simply states the fact.
Goddammit, I’m so tired of being hurt.
A small amount of my arousal dulls.
Julius reaches back without breaking contact with me, opening the nightstand drawer and retrieving a condom. He doesn’t hesitate the way I do, doesn’t let me regret my choice. Tearing the foil packet open with his teeth, he brings the condom down between us and rolls it on. And he does this while keeping it real. “I want to fuck you bare, baby, and that day will come, but you were married to a cunt of a man who fucked around, and he did this then came home and fucked you bare. And I’m not going to talk about his brother right now, because I’m about to fuck and I don’t want to lose my hard-on.” He looks up at me from his cock. “Not saying you have anything, baby, but I sure as hell ain’t taking the risk, which means until we both get ourselves tested and cleared, I’m not going to make out with that pussy I crave more than air, nor am I going to go ungloved when we fuck.” His eyes hold no amount of disgust. This is just Julius laying it out. “Okay?”
I know this is not only fair but responsible, too. But, fuck, I hate that Dino put me in this position of sheer mortification. My body turns stony with it.
“Okay.” My nose begins to tingle with the familiar sting of tears, and I blink them back. “Sorry.”
“Shut your fucking mouth.” The harsh words are spoken so gently that they feel like a warm embrace. He grips my hips, digging his fingers in enough to pinch. “Shut it right now. Nothing that happened to you was your fault. Nothing. You were a young woman surrounded by bad people who knew better, people you trusted to take care of you. You trusted them to keep you safe. A shit-ton of people failed you, Ana, but you aren’t one of them. You saved yourself. You did nothing wrong. Understand me?”
“Yeah,” I croak quietly, and deep down, I know he’s right.
“Good.” He slides away from me, laying down flat on the bed, slowly stroking his cock with long, delicious fingers that I want to suck into my mouth. “Climb on, baby.” His eyes hood as I sit up, and he trails my near-naked body with a glance. “Ride me.”
On my knees, I crawl to his side, hooking my thumbs into the waistband of my panties and sliding them down my thighs, to the mattress, where I step out of them. I throw my leg over him, to the left side of his waist, then scoot closer, bringing my knees into contact with his hips.
He reaches out to me, running the back of one hand up, over my stomach, which clenches in response. He runs his knuckles over my breast, farther, trailing over the sensitive bud that tightens at his light touch, causing me to tremble in pure bliss.
As he continues to explore my body, taking his time, I rest one hand on his stomach for balance then reach back to take his long, hard cock into my small hand. I sit up taller, guiding the tip of him to my wet entrance, and when my parts kiss his in warm greeting, I remove my hand, placing it with the other at his stomach.
His breath catches as I put the slightest amount of pressure, sitting gently. The head of him slips inside of me and we both moan, my eyes rolling into the back of my head with desire. With my eyes closed, I sit down farther, but wince as the girth of him stretches me wide.
His hands on my hips, he holds me there, not allowing me to seat myself an inch more. “We got all the time in the world. Take it slow. I want this good for the both of us, baby. Just relax.”
It’s like he always knows what to say.
I remind myself that this man will never force me; he will never rape me, or use my affections to manipulate a situation. Julius will never hurt me like Dino did. Julius does not get off on pain. He wants only mutual satisfaction, nothing more.
And here I am, on top of him. A position Dino never allowed me to try. It put a woman in a position of control, and he would never allow that.
But Julius would. Not only would he allow it, but he was the one to suggest it.
Taking a deep breath, my calm returns and I move my hips around slowly, testing how much pain I am in.
Surprisingly, there is no pain.
Warmth lights my belly on fire and turns my blood to boiling lava while my nipples tighten at the feeling of impossible fullness between my welcoming thighs. I know there is more, so I test the waters, rearing down in to
rturous slowness, taking one more inch, then another. And although it burns as he stretches me, it doesn’t hurt.
No.
It feels amazing.
My head begins to float, and I feel my heart beating through my clit, my cheeks flushed with passion.
I seat myself farther, taking another inch, then one more, and then, with a light wince, my belly contracts painfully and I realize I can’t take anymore.
And it makes me sad.
“Oh,” I utter softly, disappointed.
Julius runs his hand up my bare thigh. “No rush. It’ll take some time.”
“Yeah,” I respond, running my nails over his belly.
With a gentle tug, he pulls me down to lie on his chest. His lips take mine in a warm, deep kiss and I reach up to cup his cheeks as he begins to rock into me with tender mercy.
His hands roam my body, running over my back to squeeze my nape then trailing over my ass and back again, finally resting on my hips as his thrusts increase.
I pant into his mouth, gasping when he touches a particularly sensitive spot inside of me, and when he works on hitting that spot over and over, my body trembles and shakes. My fists clench against him, my nails scratching at him.
It’s happening again.
I feel it coming this time.
But how? I’ve never had an orgasm twice so soon. It’s not right. Something’s wrong. Panting, I shake my head, and muse aloud, “No.”
Julius grips my hips tightly and drives a little deeper, his thick cock sliding in and out of my tight pussy. “Yes, baby. Yes.”
A bright light flashes behind my closed lids and, gritting my teeth together, I whimper and whine as the orgasm takes hold of me, pulsing pleasure from my toes to the very hairs on my head. When it finally passes, I fall limp against Julius, breathless.
His thrusts turn jerky, and with a low growl, his body turns rigid, his stomach tightens against me, and he grips my hips hard enough to bruise, his cock twitching inside me as he finds his release.
And when his breathing returns to normal, he reaches up to stroke my hair with lazy tenderness. My eyes droop heavily, and I let out a short yawn. Julius follows suit, and with his arms around me, naked and bared to him, I find sleep.