Beta-Transportational Weirdness

  WhiteWolfWoman

  Copyright 2013 WhiteWolfWoman

 

  Smashwards Edition, Licence Notes

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  Ch.1 – Weirdness

  “Ugh... I hate essays.” I was sitting in the computer-room at home, doing an English essay assignment, and, not to mention, being bored out of my skull.

  “Malvina, can you get some more wood in, please?”

  “*Eya, Nimaamaa!” Finally, something other than typing my fingers off! I put about 6-7 pieces of wood in the wood box by the door, then go back to my assignment. A few minutes later, however, things start to get… weird. Um, yo… Why the heck is my computer screen going blurry!? Hang on, that’s not the screen… it’s my eyes! My head feels ultra-strange, like my brain’s trying to squish out of my right ear. Uh, totally yucky mental image alert! Garn… it’s like really, really bad flute player decided my ears are a good place to practice in, and has invited a fireworks show for accompaniment! Ooo, preettyyy… Suddenly, everything sort of swirls together and goes black.

  O-kaaay… I’ve opened my eyes, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t the computer room. Or even my house for that matter! Doesn’t look like a hospital, either… the ceiling is a metallic-looking silver. I look around, and find that the walls are silver too, and there is a single door set into the wall on my left.

  Nngh… I sit up, and immediately feel like I’ve been hit by a bulldozer. Ow. I’m sitting on a cot that’s on a sort of raised pedestal- block-like thing. Brrr… its a little cold in here. I wonder where my sweater is? Hey, what am I wearing, anyways? Waitaminut – these are NOT my clothes!!! I’m wearing what looks like a navy-blue, short-sleeved jumpsuit, and slipper-like shoes of the same color. I take a quick peek down the inside of the jumpsuit… phew. Thank goodness for my own underclothes.

  Ss-chifff... the sound of a sealed door opening makes me look up. HOLY CRAP in a BASKET!!! What looks like a five-inch-thick, furry tan doormat with black insectile legs scurries in, turns towards me, and (how the heck can that thing see??) starts squeaking like a mouse on steroids in front of a microphone. Yowch, my ears! A couple seconds later, something/someone comes to the door… um. Yikes. A human guy… but with red tentacles for hair. Mega-weird.

  “Ah, so the rogue traveller is awake. Thank you, Trell’a.” The thing – aka Trell’a – squeaks back at him, then scurries away. Tentacle-hair-guy turns towards me, and asks, “First thing’s first. What is your name?”

  “Name’s M-Malvina Rose W-Williamson, sir.” Dang! Stupid stutter embarrassing me again… gah.

  “Mmm. Traveller rank and number?”

  “Um… I have no idea.” He narrows his eyes at me, then suddenly slaps his hand against his forehead.

  “ Skrack’na - sepp! Not AGAIN!!!” he roars, then whirls around and stomps out the door. I am left sitting on my cot, feeling a bit shell-shocked. But, after a few more seconds, my snarky side kicks in. Ok, like, did he get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or something!? I mean, seriously, dude! I sit for about ten minutes, then decide that this would be a good time for a nap.

  Ch.2 – Scraal Fa’nak

  I wake up to someone shaking my shoulder. “Come now, young one, you must wake up, the Council wishes to see you.”

  “Nnmmph… ‘kay, okay, I’m awake… and hungry.”

  “I have some food here; you can eat before you go. Don’t worry; we made sure it’s edible for you.” The last part was said with a bit of wry humour. After I rub the sleep-gunk out of my eyes, I see an aqua-skinned girl (lady?) with raven-black hair, light amber eyes, and a dark brown dress made out of what looks like linen. Beside her is a little folding table with a small tray of what I assume is the food she’s talking about. It doesn’t look very edible, but the smell is delicious! “Thanks!”

  “You’re welcome, child.” Ok, so she’s a lady, then. I sit up, swing my legs over the side, and pull the table closer to me. Thankfully, there is a fork resting on the side of the tray. I take a cautious bite of the food, and immediately, my taste buds are doing a happy-dance! “Mmm... Holy interstellar crapola, this is good!”

  “I’m glad you like it. Oh, excuse my lack of manners, my name is Keena Farhan. What’s yours?”

  “I’m Malvina Rose Williamson. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Farhan.”

  “Please, call me Keena. I’m not that old, you know!” We both laugh, and I quickly scarf down the neon-green-mashed-potato-stuff, which tastes a bit like mac’n’cheese. And I LOVE mac’n’cheese!

  When I have finished, Keena ushers me out the door and down a long, twisting, branching hallway. Easy to get lost in much? This place is a freakn’ maze!

  After what feels like half an hour, we arrive at a set of double doors, inlaid with strange Egyptian-like glyphs. Way cool! Keena knocks three times, and the doors open inwards. Two purple, furless, armoured monkey-like guards, armed with what I guess are some sort of tasers, show me to a raised seat standing in front of four raised pedestals, each with a different person sitting/standing in them. Well, I guess those people make up the Council.

  I sit down, surprised at how comfortable the seat is. It looks hard, like plastic, but actually has a spongy texture that you can’t see, only feel. I sit up and take stock of the Council Chamber.

  To my left are the double doors that I came through, along with the purple monkey guards. To my right, and along both sides, are people. Some are relatively normal-looking, and others are just plain freaky. Tentacles, fur, and scales abound.

  I feel a glare from beside me, on my right. I turn to look... crap! If looks could kill, I’d be cooked to a crisp with the one that tentacle-haired-guy is throwing at me. What is his problem, anyway?! I turn back to face the front. Suddenly, I am startled into jumping when a loud, booming voice calls on me.

  “MALVINA ROSE WILLIAMSON, PLEASE STAND.”

  I stand, and the voice starts to question me.

  “YOU ARE A ROGUE TRAVELLER, CORRECT?”

  “I-I don’t know, sir. I don’t even know how I got here.”

  “DO YOU HAVE ANY KNOWLEDGE OF BETA TRANSPORTATION?”

  “No, sir.”

  “DO YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING PRIOR TO YOUR TRANSPORTATION?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “PLEASE RECOUNT THE EXPERIENCE.”

  “Well, I was sitting at my computer, typing up an English essay report, when my head started feeling weird, like my brain was trying to get out of my head. Then, there was a squealing, shrieking sound in my ears, as well as colourful flashes of light in front of my eyes. After that, everything just sort of swirled together and went black. I’m guessing that I was out for a while, and then woke up here.”

  “WHICH DIRECTION WERE YOU FACING WHEN YOU TRANSPORTED?”

  “I was facing west, sir, and my brain was trying to go north.”

  “THANK YOU, MALVINA ROSE WILLIAMSON. YOU MAY SIT DOWN.”

  I sat, and was greatly surprised at who the voice called on next.

  “JUNIOR TRAVELLER SCRAAL FA’NAK, PLEASE STAND.”

  Well, well, well, Scraal Fa’nak was none other than tentacle-haired-guy.

  “YOU WILL TEACH YOUR SISTER THE WAYS OF A TRAVELLER.” Whoa. Waitaminut. Hold up. Did booming-voice just say what I think he just said!?

  “Sir, may I see the DNA test res
ults, just to confirm?”

  “OF COURSE. KEENA FARHAN?”

  Keena comes forward, holding a tablet about the size and shape of a computer screen out to Scraal Fa’nak. He takes it, looks at the information, and promptly falls over. I mean, literally, FALLS OVER!!! And I don’t blame him. Heck, I feel like falling off my chair!

  “COUNCIL DISMISSED.”

  I step over to Scraal. He is sitting on the floor with his hair writhing agitatedly, and his head in his hands. The tablet is lying at his feet. I pick it up, and look at it. I can’t read the writing, but the two double-helixes of DNA, coupled with the flashing green square in the middle of the screen undoubtedly mean that our DNA is the same. Hang on a sec, the same?

  “You’re my twin sister.”

  “Freakishly weird.”

  “Yeah. Hey, sorry about the temper attack back there. It’s just that there’s recently been a rash of rogue travellers arriving here, and, since I’m a junior traveller, I get landed with the paperwork.”

  “Ouch… I’m guessing that that’s way, WAY worse than schoolwork?”

  He grins. “Definitely.”

  Ch.3 – Double Trouble

  “By the fruit of the dalkas tree! Vina, you did it!”

  “Ow… along with giving myself a major headache, of
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