***
Javin stopped to wipe the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. “We’ve been traveling for days now, are you sure you have your bearings?”
“Yes, Javin.” Sauros paused to look back at him. There was no trail or identifying marks that Javin could see, but somehow Sauros continued to pick his way in what he thought was a straight line through the jungle.
“But how? You said yourself you’ve never been in this part of the world.”
“It is something I can’t explain.” Sauros furrowed his brow, as if concentrating, trying to find the right words, though he’d tried several times as they’d been traveling. Javin knew he still hadn’t been able to describe how, or what he was following.
“Trust me, my friend. I know we are headed in the right direction. It’s just something I feel.”
“The crystal?” Javin finally asked. He’d had a suspicion almost from the beginning, but hadn’t wanted to bring it up. It was a bit of a sore spot for him in that he’d not been able to make it do anything for him, really. If Sauros was being guided by it, then he was a little . . . miffed?
“I think so. Like I said, I’m not able to explain other than I just know what direction we should travel. It’s like I can feel where my city is if I concentrate on it enough, and then I get this warm feeling, here.” Sauros rested a hand over his breast.
“Figures.” Javin said. “I guess I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”
“A what?” Sauros stared at Javin. “And why should we look into its mouth. That strikes me as odd.”
“Trust me it’s no more odd than traipsing through the jungle following a nice, warm feeling.”
Javin could tell that Sauros was starting to bristle. “Look, I’m sorry. I trust you. I’m following aren’t I? I just wish I could figure out how to make my crystal give me some guidance -- any guidance, other than these stupid sayings and fluffy memories that keep poking up!”
Sauros nodded but stayed quiet. Javin was glad he understood. Or at least acted like it. Sauros always seemed to look at him funny when he thought Javin wasn’t looking. It was starting to get to him. What, really, was the crystal for, and why was he here? He wanted answers! He was sure he’d been dropped here from somewhere else, and thrown right into the thick of one of this planet’s hot spots. Was he supposed to save the day or something? If so, he hadn’t a clue how, or why he should bother.
The only way he’d ever find anything out was to stick with it. Besides, he really had thought about it since Sauros had asked him. He didn’t want to leave. He felt he could help. That he must help.
And that feeling made him wonder if it was really he, or the crystal. I’ll never win if I keep going through this double think all the time.
“Sorry Sauros. I know you don’t need my belly-aching. You’ve got enough problems.”
“Is your stomach sore? Do you need to rest?” A look of concern came over Sauros’ face.
“Ahhr! No, sorry. Just another one of those stupid frippery figures of speech that seem to pop into my mind. I must have had a real gift for stupid speech . . . wherever I came from. I wish I knew more of what I was like, but then when I think about it too much, I start to wonder whether I’d really like myself or not.”
“You can’t hide your character, no matter your words,” Sauros said. He came to stand beside Javin and rested a hand on his shoulder. “You are a noble man. You always have been. Simply being in another place, and even though you don’t have your memories, it still hasn’t changed who you are, here.” Sauros placed a gentle palm over Javin’s heart.
That’s ironic, Javin thought. Right over the crystal. Nonetheless, he knew what Sauros meant and it gave him a measure of comfort.
“It must be trying,” Sauros dropped his hand and moved over to sit on a large rock pushing up through the jungle cover. “To think that you’ve been placed here for some reason you don’t know, and wonder what you’ve been forced to leave behind.”
“Funny that,” Javin said. “I get the impression, sometimes, just before I drift off to sleep that I was saved. Like I was going to die and these . . . somethings pulled me out right before I was killed. So I guess I don’t have a right to complain. If I had a choice of being here or nowhere, I’d choose here. What I chafe at is not having a choice in any of this.”
“But you do have a choice.” Sauros said. “You’ve had a choice from the moment you first set foot on our world. You don’t even have to be here now, remember? You decided on your own.” Sauros stopped for a moment. “Are you wanting to go our separate ways?”
“No! Definitely not!” Javin snapped back before he even had to think. It was the right answer. And for once he knew it was him speaking and not the influence of any crystal.
“Sorry to complain. I just worry about the affect this crystal has on me. The point is, I don’t know whether the crystal is making me do things, or if I’m doing them because I really am a good guy. I just don’t know. It’s kind of . . . scary. I don’t want to get in a life or death situation – and I have a feeling we’re in for some of those – and freeze because I find out I’m really a coward.”
Sauros laughed. “That’s good!” He stood up and looked in the direction they needed to head. “I can tell you from my limited experience, the crystal has not made me braver than I have ever been. It too, concerns me. I worry it will affect me from what I need to be, but for now, I haven’t noticed that it has made me any worse . . . or better. For me, I’m hoping the crystal is more of a . . . I guess guide is the best word I can think of. Not in the fact that it tells me anything, or forces me in anything. Like right now, I could turn and walk in the opposite direction and it wouldn’t do anything to stop me or make me turn around. I feel I could abandon this whole thing and it wouldn’t do anything to make me turn back. Instead it seems more of a reference or a source. Nothing outside of myself or beyond what I already am has come through the crystal. And I already have a frame of reference. You don’t”
“You’ve got a point,” Javin said. Then he thought of something. “Tell me what you know about these legends of the Mulda’ fi?”
“I only briefly saw the picture you referred too during my studies. After that, there’s not much I remember. I remember the glowing about their breasts – which I’m now assuming has something to do with the crystals.” Javin nodded. “But I also recall some stories I was told when I was but a cub.” Javin smiled at the reference, but didn’t say anything. “The stories always tell that the Mulda’ fi would be beings of great wisdom and power. I don’t know. Maybe the crystals do have something about them that help us with the ‘wisdom’ and ‘power’ part.
“I think of how I’m sure we’re heading in the right direction. I don’t know this part of the jungle, yes, but I do know the layout of much of the land we know of. I also know how the Great Light travels in the sky above us. There is also the bond I’ve always had for my home city. All these things seemed to have combined to help me know the path we have to travel. The closer we get, the stronger I feel the bond, and it is confirmed by my observations of the Great Light.”
“I see you’ve been thinking about this quite bit,” Javin said.
Sauros smiled. “I’ve been thinking about nothing else . . . except maybe Mouhra’ Lah. But even in thinking of her, I can feel her. In fact, that’s the part that makes me think the most about the crystal, and know it must not be intended for evil. Aside from the fact that the Mulda’ fi have always been told of as heros and adventurers, the bond I have with the Princess could never be a bad thing. The crystal helped me feel her. I know I must trust it. And so should you, my friend.”
Javin looked into his eyes. “You make a strong case. I believe you, really. I can sense truth in what you say, even from my own experiences with the crystal. It never has brought me harm, and has seemed to confirm what I want to do that see
ms to me to be the right thing.” Then Javin smiled. He knew his grin had a touch of mischief in it. “I guess you could say it’s not in my nature to think I might be unduly influenced by something, or more importantly someone who can pull the strings in a way I don’t have control of.”
“I think I know what you mean.” Sauros nodded his head. “You must work that out for yourself.” There was something in his tone of voice that told Javin he really did understand. That there was something that happened when he merged with the crystal that was similar to what Javin had only fleeting remembrances of.
A place of no contrast, nothing but white all around him, then strange voices. Were they in his head, or did they speak aloud? A test? That was the core of it! He hated to feel like he could be under someone else’s control without his say so. It would be enough to know that he was free to make his own decisions, regardless of the crystal. There wasn’t a decision he’d made to this point he would change, but the fact that there might be someone, someplace, manipulating him for their own ends -- that’s what he didn’t like.
“There was something when you merged. Something that happened to you. What was it like? I just have glimpses of a place all whited out, and then someone spoke to me, but I don’t remember anything they said. Did that happen to you?”
Sauros was silent for a time. Then he looked out into the jungle. “I think we better continue to move. It’ll be dark soon, and we need to find a tree large enough to keep us safe.”
Javin looked at him. He was a little irritated at his evasiveness. There was something he’d seen. And it had to do with him! Just a gut feel, but he knew it all the same.
“My friend. We will talk of it sometime. But now is not the time.” Sauros took a heavy breath. “You must trust me for now. I cannot tell you, but there will be a time. For now, I must understand it myself before I can explain.”
His voice was soft, almost pleading, or as much pleading as the powerful man was ever likely to do.
“Just know,” Sauros continued. “I value your friendship. And there is nothing there that changed my friendship from the day we first met. And I felt you were a good man then.” Sauros smiled. “Though describing you as a man is hard at times, since I continually look at you and wonder what the creator was thinking when he made you. He left you naked! Hardly a dignified bearing for a man.”
“Thank you so much,” Javin said. His mood lightened. “I’ll remember to ask him about it next time I speak with him.”
He stretched his arms high in the air. “All this deep thinking makes me stiff. Maybe we better shake it out, like you said.” Javin gestured for Sauros to preceed him.
“Shake it out?”
“Sorry, just another one of those human-type terms that keeps bubbling out.” They started to move through the thick cover.
“By the way, you mentioned you remember the tracking of the Great Light. Have you ever seen it without the mist covering it?”
“Never,” Sauros answered back over his shoulder.
“You mean you’ve never seen the sun for your world?”
“What is this ‘sun’ you are talking about?”
His answer confirmed something Javin had suspected. “I guess the ‘sun’ is the Great Light you refer to.”
“Oh,” Sauros grunted. “You have strange names for things. Why do you ask? Is there something I should know about it?”
“Not particularly, other than do you think anyone else has seen the Great Light without the mists covering it? Do they know what it really is?”
“I have never heard of such a thing. Is it important?”
“Only as a clue to what I think is going on with your world.” Javin’s mind was now tracking on another line of thought. “Remember the emblem on Tranthra’ Joh’s uniforms? The one on the breast? Have you ever seen it before?”
“No,” Sauros said. “Does it mean something?”
“It does. It means that someone like me is also on your world. It’s one of those things I know that I can’t explain. The crystal again.”
“Someone like you? You mean another hhyumahn?”
“I think so, but I’m not sure human is completely the right term. I don’t know anything about him, but I have this sense that I know him. Like we’ve met before, or that we’re going to meet. And we’re going to be important to each other. I think his being here might be why I’ve been brought here too.”
Sauros stopped and turned back to Javin but didn't say anything.
"That's all I can tell you for now," Javin said, shrugging.
Sauros nodded, accepting.
"You're much more patient than I am, friend," Javin smiled. "It's coming from inside me, and I'm straining for every bit I can piece together."
"It will come with time, Javin." Again Javin could see something in Sauros's eyes that told him he knew more about this than he was saying.
Javin took a deep, calming breath. "Okay. I guess the best thing is to continue to press on. Whether I finally learn anything or not doesn't seem to change our strategy any."
Sauros gave a quirky smile. "Shall we continue, then?"
Javin returned the smile. "By all means. After you."
They continued through the dank foliage.