“No,” he said emphatically. “Trust me, I’d remember. I saw you and you hit me like a two-by-four between the eyes. I know that sounds like a line, but I’m serious. So take pity on me and give me a few minutes of your time. Or a few hours. Could I talk you into a few days? Maybe a week or few?”
She laughed, couldn’t help it. “Don’t you have plans?”
His brows rose. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You had luggage.”
“So you did see me.” Trevor pulled their joined hands up to rest over his heart. “I’m crushed. You ditched me.”
“You had someone with you.” She didn’t mean to sound piqued.
“Don’t be jealous. I was waiting for you. My whole life, I think. So . . . coffee? A meal?”
“Your plans . . . ?” Her fingers flexed against his chest, feeling the hardness of his pectoral muscle and the warmth of his skin. He smelled wonderful and looked even better. His angel blue eyes were so deep and inviting she could drown in them if she wasn’t careful.
Dear God, she’d missed him so much more than she could make excuses for.
“Plans. Yes,” he murmured, stepping closer. “I have some. I’ll have to change them. I can’t go there when you’re here.”
“Go where?”
“Anywhere you’re not. I might sound crazy, but you’re about to walk away and I don’t know who you are or where to find you, and if I can’t find you again I’m pretty sure I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
Siobhán sucked in a deep, shaky breath. “I’m sorry, but I have to decline.”
He caught up her left hand and looked at it. “No ring. Not married, right? I knew you couldn’t be. Whoever he is, Siobhán, he’s not the right one for you.”
“You’re awfully sure of yourself,” she said softly, enjoying him. And yet she knew it was wrong. Trevor didn’t know anything about her or what she was. She had to be the responsible one and walk away.
It had never been so hard to be responsible.
“As a rule, yes,” he agreed. “But this is different. Give me a chance and I’ll prove it.”
“I really can’t . . . It wouldn’t work out.”
“Siobhán.” He looked into her eyes, his voice fervent and earnest. “I believe everything happens for a reason. There’s a reason we found each other today, a reason why we’re throwing sparks off of each other. We can’t just walk away from that because it’s inconvenient. If you do, you’re going to look back on this someday and you’re going to be sorry.”
What if he’s right? a little voice in her head wondered. Before she’d wiped his memory he’d said he would be attracted to her even without the connection they’d forged when she rescued him. It seemed that was true.
Just to be certain, she reached into his mind and felt the piercing rush of feeling he’d experienced when he saw her in the lobby. It had been a sudden kick of primal recognition that had nothing to do with memory, which meant it would be impossible to prevent him from being drawn to her no matter what she did. Moreover, Adrian and Lindsay proved that it didn’t matter what stood in the way—if two souls were meant to find each other, they would.
Running from Trevor wasn’t the answer. She had to make sure he didn’t want to hunt her down.
“I can’t go with you right now,” she heard herself saying. “I have work this afternoon. People are waiting for me.”
“Dinner, then.”
“I’ll be in Ontario.”
“Ontario, California?”
She nodded.
“That’s fine. I’ll come to you. Tell me where. Seven o’clock okay?”
“Okay,” she breathed, feeling as if she was about to step off a cliff without her wings. “The Elephant Bar in Montclair.”
“I’ll find it.” His gaze darted over her face. “Promise me you’ll be there.”
Siobhán felt her lips curling into a smile. “You don’t trust me.”
“You look scared. You don’t have to be. I’d never hurt you, and I won’t let anyone else hurt you, either.”
Despite her turmoil and weakness for him, it was so good to see him whole and strong and confident. He was so powerfully vital, a potent force of nature.
“Trevor. You have to understand. You and me . . . It can’t happen. My job won’t allow it. Ever.”
“Jobs can change.”
“Not mine. I was born to do it. There’s no other choice for me.”
He smiled and pulled out his cell phone. “Let’s just start with dinner, okay? What’s your number?”
She gave it to him and he texted her, watching as she pulled her cell out of her pocket to read, 7 at the Elephant Bar w/Trevor.
“Now you’ve got my number, too,” he said. “Promise me you’ll be there.”
“I promise.”
He backed away, looking boyishly anticipatory and darkly handsome. “Seven o’clock, Siobhán. But I won’t mind if you show up early. You can show up late, too, and I’ll still be waiting, but I’d rather you didn’t. It’s going to be hard enough waiting the next four hours.”
“Bye, Trevor.”
“Try ‘see you soon’ instead. That sounds better.”
She found herself blowing him a kiss, a completely spontaneous gesture that shocked her as much as it seemed to shock him.
“Can I talk you into a real one of those?” he asked, his voice husky.
“Seven. I’ll see you then.” She was smiling when she got to her car. She smiled all the way back to the Point. It was only when she passed through the gate that reality hit her hard enough to somber her mood.
She was falling for a mortal. She was falling, period.
* * *
“This is harder than I thought it would be,” Siobhán murmured, looking through the viewing window at the three vamps being held in cages. Two males and one female. All young—only a couple decades past the fledgling stage. “I have to infect them and watch the illness take them over, and I can’t put them to sleep like the others because I need to monitor how long they retain higher brain function. I can only pray the progression of the illness isn’t too painful.”
Carriden set his big hand on her shoulder. “We’ll heal them with our blood when the time comes.”
“If we don’t lose them first.” She set her hand over his, feeling guilty that she’d be leaving soon to see Trevor. Her one comfort was the knowledge that once she infected the vampires, she would be confined to the infirmary and lab indefinitely. There would be no chance for Trevor to see her again.
“These three were part of a cabal in Anaheim,” she said softly, referring to a family-type unit of vampires. “They’d traveled away for fun and returned to find all their friends slaughtered. Damien’s investigating.”
“Someone else took them out? It wasn’t us?”
“It’s not an order either Adrian or Damien gave.” She mulled her emotional response—the emotions she shouldn’t be feeling—to the plight of the three vamps. They were clearly distressed and that affected her. “Everything’s falling apart. The lycans are in the wind, the vampires are ravaged by this disease, and presently we’re the only cure. There are times when I wonder if the end is nigh. If this delicate balance between the three factions has finally crumbled.”
“If it has, we’ll go down in a blaze of glory.”
She faced him, shaking her head with a smile. “That simple, cowboy?”
“Sure.”
“Since I’m going to be trapped in the lab for a while, I’m heading out to shop and pick up some things to keep me occupied and comfortable. Probably buy some bath stuff, maybe some hair dye. Books and fashion magazines, too.” Siobhán deliberately elaborated on her purchases to keep him from volunteering to come with her. “Need anything?”
“No, I’m good.”
“Okay. When I get back, we’ll get things going.”
His head tilted to one side. “You seem better today. More upbeat.”
“It was good to get out in
the sunlight for a few hours. I need to make an effort to do it more often.”
“Whatever the reason, it’s good to see.”
She squeezed his hand. “You’re a good friend, Carriden.”
“Friend?” He frowned, obviously considering the merits of the word over others they’d used, such as “colleague.”
Laughing softly, she headed toward the door. “Think about it. You might like it.”
Chapter 10
Trevor glanced at his watch for the hundredth time as he paced the walkway in front of the Elephant Bar. It wasn’t quite seven and he’d already been waiting almost half an hour. God, he was nervous. And anxious. Siobhán had been so skittish. He was afraid she wouldn’t show up. Then he’d have to track her down somehow . . .
“Trevor.”
He spun at the sound of her voice and stared as she approached, riveted by her perfection. He’d never seen a woman so stunning. She was petite and delicate in appearance, her piquant face framed by a trendy cut that suited her features perfectly. She was lush and curvy in all the right places, and yet she was a tiny thing. The top of her head barely reached his shoulders.
“Siobhán.” His voice was deep and gruff, his blood pumping fast and hot. He was struck with that feeling of rightness again, the bone-deep certainty that he was where he was supposed to be with the woman he was supposed to be with. You’ll know, his sister Stella had told him long ago. When you find the one, you’ll know.
“Have you been waiting long?” she asked, her words laced with a gorgeous resonance that vibrated through him.
“Twenty-eight years. Give or take a few weeks.” He caught her up in his arms as if they’d known each other for months rather than moments. “What took you so long?”
Her hands went to his shoulders, her stunningly blue eyes shining in the glow of the streetlamp behind him. “What am I going to do with you?” she asked softly.
“I’ve got a list.”
That made her laugh, and his breath caught at the beauty of the sound.
She brushed his hair back from his forehead, her gaze sliding over his face in a warm caress. “I wish I could keep you.”
“I’m afraid you’ll have to. You won’t be able to get rid of me.” He adjusted his grip, aligning her body to his and marveling at the fit. As small as she was, her curves melded precisely with his, as if they were two halves of a whole. He wasn’t the kind of guy who thought in terms like that usually. Dating was fun. Women were fun. He loved the female gender as a whole, and certain members of it with feverish enthusiasm, but he’d never been blindsided like this.
“Is there someone in your life?” he asked. “A boyfriend, a lover, a significant other?”
Shaking her head, she said, “I told you, romantic relationships aren’t possible for me.”
“I get it. You’re talking to a reformed commitment-phobe. I’ve said that very thing countless times. We’ll just take it easy for a while, okay?” He wanted to add the word “exclusive” in there somewhere, but was afraid to scare her off. Still, he couldn’t bear to share her. Not when he knew she was his. Knew it absolutely. “Let’s go in and sit down. We can talk over dinner and drinks.”
Her gaze lowered to his mouth and his dick twitched shamelessly. “You won’t get offended if I don’t eat, will you?”
“You’re not hungry?”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Listen, I don’t want to freak you out, but . . .” He hesitated, knowing he could really fuck this up.
“But?” she prodded, meeting his gaze again.
“I grabbed a hotel room nearby. Not because I thought I’d take you there tonight,” he assured her hastily. “Just because I planned on shooting for a follow-up breakfast date.”
“Really?” she asked drily, with a sparkle in her eyes. “Either way, you’re very optimistic.”
“More like unable to accept failure. Not about this. So you want to grab a bottle of wine and go there? I got a suite, so the bed’s in a different room. We can just sit in the living area and talk?”
It took her a long moment to answer, one in which he could see her visibly struggling with the idea.
“Or we can go into the restaurant,” he offered. “I’m fine with whatever you’re most comfortable with.”
“No. Let’s go to your hotel.” Siobhán exhaled in rush. “I don’t have much time, so quiet would be good.”
Her allusion to the end of their evening got him anxious again. “Okay. Let’s go.”
* * *
Siobhán settled on the small sofa in Trevor’s hotel room and noted the carry-on and duffel he’d been carrying earlier. “You were supposed to travel today.”
He tossed his black suede jacket over the back of an armchair and took a seat on the sofa beside her. “Yes. I’m part of a scholarship program Gadara Enterprises is sponsoring at the University of North Carolina. I’m an EMT with an Army medic background, so I’ll be attending med school.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Yeah. This morning I thought my life couldn’t get any better. Obviously, I was wrong about that.” He reached for her hand, linking his fingers with hers. “What do you do?”
“I study infectious diseases.”
Trevor grinned. “We’re both in the health field, then.”
She could see he thought that was another sign they were meant to be together. “I work in an underground laboratory. Weeks can go by during which I see only my colleagues. Today was the first time in a long time that I’d seen the sun.”
His smile faded. “Are you working for the government?”
“Not quite.” She looked down at their joined hands. “But the disease I’m presently focused on does have some military applications.”
“Are you trying to save lives or end them?”
“I’m searching for a cure.”
His breath left him in a rush. “That’s good. I couldn’t see it being the other way. Not with you.”
Siobhán squeezed his hand, loving his tender healer’s heart. “Maybe you’ll see now why it’s not possible for us to date. You need to go to North Carolina as soon as you can. You shouldn’t have missed your flight today.”
“Hang on.” He stood up and went to his duffel bag, then returned with the envelope of photos she’d left for him at reception. He sat and poured the pictures out onto the sofa cushion between them. “This is my sister’s family. The only family I’ve got left. This is my newest nephew. He was named after me, but I’ll never get to see him in person.”
She looked up into his face, trying to gauge his feelings about that. “Oh?”
“Apparently there was a bit of a screw-up and the military reported me killed in action. They paid out four hundred thousand dollars in life insurance money, which my sister used to set up college funds for her kids and to move into a bigger house. Gadara Enterprises has some government contracts and contacts, and they worked something out so that my sister gets to keep the money if I stay dead. I’m not sure how that all worked out, but I know my sister really needed the money and I can’t pay it back, so the best thing for all of us is for me to let them believe I’m gone. I’ll never be able to call or send gifts or stop by.”
Siobhán set her hand over his and gave a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry, Trevor.”
She knew Raguel would’ve strengthened the fictional background story with mental suggestions that eased Trevor’s focus on the logistics and possible workarounds.
“I’m telling you this,” he went on, “because I want you to know that I understand how these things work. I know the difficulties some of these government arrangements can cause. But I don’t think that means we have to throw away any chance we have of seeing where this can go.”
His tenacity moved her. That trait had helped him survive the pit he’d lived in for a year. It was also likely to cause problems between them if she left him with any memory of her at all. The best thing she could do would be to wipe him ag
ain, then leave him sleeping on the couch with a plane ticket from Ontario to North Carolina on the coffee table.
The firm weight of conviction and resignation settled over her. She knew he was okay, that he would continue to be okay. She knew from seeing him in the atrium at Gadara Tower that he would be content, even happy. That was enough for her. She could live with that and be satisfied with that. She’d have to.
Calmly, she took the photos from his hands and put them back in the envelope, then set them aside on the coffee table. Trevor watched her, his eyes heating as he judged her mood. It was as if he could see inside her and knew that her heart was beginning to beat faster, that excitement was quickening her blood. She wanted more of him before she said good-bye for the last time. She wanted to feel his lips on hers . . . his hands on her bare skin . . . the weight and heat of him against her . . .
For just a moment.
Tilting her head up, Siobhán offered him her mouth. He stared at her lips, his breathing quick and audible.
“Siobhán . . .” He slid closer. His arms circled her slowly and carefully, as if she might bolt if he moved too fast. “I won’t say no. I can’t. But this isn’t why I brought you here.”
“I know.” She’d seen his intentions when she touched his hand. He was actually afraid to take things to the physical level, afraid she wouldn’t believe his sincerity if he did.
But she did believe him. And she trusted him. Cared for him. Wanted him.
His hands bracketed her spine, pulling her closer until she was pressed flush against him. He groaned softly when her breasts flattened against his hard chest and she shivered, startled by the fiery sensations of pleasure that spread through her veins.
“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered, his breath caressing her lips.
“I’m not.” And she wasn’t. Not anymore. She was beginning to think any punishment she might face would be worth this. He was worth it. “Kiss me.”
His mouth sealed gently over hers, his lips so soft and warm. Desire surged through her and she leaned into him, her hands pushing into his silky hair to cup his scalp. The sound he made, something raw and lustful, pulsed through her in heated waves. She gasped and his tongue stroked deep into her mouth. The flesh between her legs tingled and grew hot. His hands were everywhere—in her hair, down her back, against the side of her breast. He pushed beneath her sweater, his palm pressed flat to her naked skin. A whimper escaped her as he scorched her with his touch.