“I owe him my life. I dedicated the show to him, last year, the one you saw.” She drained the glass, her third, and set it carefully on the table. “He is the only person I’ve ever fully, wholeheartedly loved. And I’ve never even slept with him.” She smiled at Kate, a crooked smile that touched her eyes. “Except, I suppose, that night at the hospital last week. God, I’m so tired. Will I ever feel rested again? And now I’m half drunk as well. I think I’ll take my dreary self off to bed before I begin to weep crocodile tears on this nice sofa.”
“May I ask you something?” Kate interrupted.
“Only one thing? Must be something of a record for a detective, only one question.”
“Two somethings, then, but one of them I have no business asking, and you’re welcome to tell me that.”
“All right.”
“Why didn’t you make an appeal?”
“I—I didn’t think there’d be much point. The jury was only out for a few hours before they returned the verdict, and the lawyer—”
“Come on,” Kate chided. “You’re far from stupid, and you certainly had plenty of time to think about it. Why didn’t you appeal?”
Vaun sighed and looked faintly embarrassed.
“Because by then I wasn’t sure that I hadn’t done it. I only took acid twice, but it’s strange stuff, like stirring your brains with a spoon. Even after the first time I had half a dozen flashbacks. Like hiccoughs of the brain. Things would shift, somehow, and go unreal for a few seconds, or minutes. And the second time, after I’d tried to strangle two or three people…. Well, even during the trial I began to wonder if maybe I actually had done it while I was having a flashback or hiccough or whatever you want to call it, and it scared me. The whole thing scared me, the thought of having to go through all those leech-looks all over again. I crawled into prison and pulled it around me like a shell, and I found that it wasn’t as awful as I’d thought it would be. When my uncle came to visit me he offered to begin an appeal, but I could see what it would do to him, and I think he was relieved when I told him that I couldn’t see much point. It was easier to forget it, to just get on and deal with what was in front of me. That sounds so feeble now, so stupid, but—in some ways I was a very young eighteen.”
Kate looked dubious, Lee waited, and Vaun fiddled with a small seashell from the table while something struggled to push its way to the surface. She opened her mouth, changed her mind, started again, and the third time got it out.
“And I…There was also the fact that I was guilty, if not of killing Jemma then of enough other things to make me feel that prison was the place for me. I know,” she said, though Lee had not actually spoken, “Gerry and I spent a lot of time on free-floating guilt complexes. At the time, though, it seemed…appropriate, that I should be locked away from society.” She put down the shell and seemed to push the subject away. “What was your other question?”
“You don’t have to tell me—”
“I didn’t have to tell you the other one either.”
“True. And I’m glad to see that your ego has recovered.” She grinned at Vaun, who grinned back. “It’s curiosity. Why Andy Lewis? What did you see in him?”
“A lot of things. He was very attractive, sexy, dark and dangerous, aloof. He exuded an aura of secret power. And he was an outsider, but by choice, rather than being left out. That was a feeling I craved, that self-assurance. Together we could look down on everyone else. I felt chosen, powerful, unafraid—even pretty, for those few months. With Andy, the whole mess of my life made a kind of sense.”
“But it didn’t last.”
“No, it didn’t last. I couldn’t paint, with Andy. There was no room for it around him, I couldn’t pull away from him far enough to paint. It was tearing me apart, and when I realized that my work was becoming crap because of it, I had to choose, and I chose my brushes.”
“What did he do when you told him?”
“That was frightening. It was a Saturday, and Red and Becky had taken the kids to town. I was in my studio trying to sketch in a canvas when he came by. I was preoccupied with what I was doing and disturbed by my realization that I had five months of garbage to make up for, and so I was abrupt with him—I just told him I couldn’t go on, it was over, and went on sketching. When I turned around a minute later, he was still sitting on the bed, but he was so angry, so furious, it stunned me. His eyes…And he seemed to fill the whole room. I thought—I knew—that he was going to get up and come over and hit me, beat me up, but I couldn’t move. I just waited for I don’t know how long, and then all of a sudden his face changed and he started to smile, and it was like the smile he had when he was going to take me to bed but different—horrible, cruel. And he stood up, and I knew he was going to kill me, and he came over to me and he kissed me, with his teeth, and he said, ‘If that’s the way you want it, babe,’ and he went out and got on his motorcycle and roared off. And every time I saw him after that he smiled that same way, like some brutish little boy pulling wings off a fly.”
“How long before you began to think he’d had something to do with Jemma Brand’s death?”
“I wondered, even during the trial, because of a look he gave me the first day—a satisfied, ‘I told you so’ kind of look. But I decided it had to be my imagination. I couldn’t believe Andy would do something so, so—pathological. He was very good to me; he could be gentle when he wanted. How could I imagine him doing such a thing? I still find it difficult.” Sagging now with fatigue she looked at Kate. “Have I answered your questions?”
“Yes, thank you,” said Kate, and she thought, which still leaves a hundred others, but not tonight.
Vaun rose like an old woman, and stood studying them.
“It occurs to me that I haven’t thanked you for all that you’ve done for me. Not that any thanks could be adequate.”
“It has been a great joy,” said Lee simply.
“I agree,” said Kate. “I’ll be sorry when it’s over, though I won’t be sorry when it ends.” She listened to her words, and scratched her head. “I think I need some coffee. Want some?”
“No thanks,” said Vaun. “I just want to crawl into bed.”
“Lee?”
“Yes, thanks. Make a whole pot, why don’t you. Jon, my client, will probably want a cup. Maybe I should turn on the lights in the front rooms—he’ll be here in a few minutes.” She moved off down the hallway and Kate turned toward the kitchen. Vaun started up the stairs, and then stopped and turned back to follow Kate.
“All that talking,” she explained as she reached for a glass. “I’m thirsty.” She scooped some ice cubes into the glass, the bottle of spring water gurgled, and she drank gratefully.
Kate measured the beans into the grinder and switched it on just as the doorbell sounded. She turned off the grinder.
“I’ll get it,” Lee called. She sounded distracted, and Kate wondered how closely she would listen to the problems of Jon Samson, né Schwartz. Kate turned back to the coffee, and a sudden anxiety struck her. She moved quickly past Vaun towards the door.
“Don’t forget to—” she started to warn Lee, but she was too late, and it was too late, for when she reached the hall Lee’s hand had already released the bolt, and in the slow motion of horror Kate saw the door explode inward, sending Lee staggering back against the wall, and the figure that stepped in looked for an instant like Lee’s client with his snug trousers and neatly clipped moustache, but it was not Jon Samson, it was Andy Lewis, Andy Lewis with a .45 automatic in his right hand, Andy Lewis with the eyes and stance of a pit bull zeroing in on his victim, Andy Lewis looking past Kate to where Vaun stood waiting.
32
Kate’s first frozen thought was that he was smaller than she remembered, shorter perhaps than Vaun, certainly more compact and concentrated than the hairy mountain man she had seen at Vaun’s door.
His eyes and the gun stayed rock steady on Vaun where she stood behind Kate’s right shoulder, not moving a millimeter as h
is left hand pushed the door shut, found the bolt, slid it home. For the space of five heartbeats nobody moved, or breathed, until finally his lips curled.
“Hello, Vaunie.”
The quiet, sure menace in his voice washed like ice through Kate’s veins and sent her mind yammering like a mad monkey against the bars of its cage, screaming at her to run, fly, dive for cover, leap for the drawer three feet away and get her hands on the gun there because that is the voice of a goddamned poisonous snake of a crazy man, Kate! But other than one all-over jerk of her muscles she stayed quite still and watched the hand on the gun.
At his words Lee, staring horrified from where she had fetched up against the wall, shifted her gaze from the gun to his face, but Vaun seemed not to see the gun or hear the menace. Neither of them made a move to touch the forgotten alarm buttons they wore. At his greeting she seemed to relax, and Kate heard her exhale in what sounded like a happy little sigh.
“Hello, Andy.” Her voice was calm, even warm, a simple greeting at the mildly surprising appearance of an old friend. His smile deepened and Kate saw the face that Vaun had described when he walked out of her studio three weeks before Jemma Brand had died—amused, cruel, and utterly sure of himself.
“Good of you all to wait up for me like this. Damn stupid time for an appointment with a shrink, but I couldn’t very well change it, could I?”
“What—” Lee shrank back under the stab of his eyes, but the gun did not waver, and she pushed the words out. “What happened to Jon?”
To Kate’s surprise he laughed, a hearty sound, full of amusement, incongruous from a tidy man with murder in his eyes.
“I used some of his own toys on him. He’ll be all right, unless he struggles too much. In fact, he’s probably having a fine time, all trussed up like a pig. And speaking of which,” he said, and looked at Kate, all his humor instantly gone, “you’ll have a gun. Where is it?”
“Upstairs,” she lied automatically. There was a chance that in moving them around he would leave himself vulnerable for an instant. He studied her, eyes narrowed, and seemed to hear her thoughts, for he smiled again, as if at the feeble efforts of a child.
“No, it isn’t. Well it doesn’t matter, so long as it’s not on you.” He ran his eyes over her T-shirt and jeans, which could hardly conceal a penknife, much less a police revolver. “Still, I’d better have a check. Vaun, you come on out into the hall. That’s right, by that table. And you, next to her.” He nodded curtly to Lee, who obeyed. “Now you, come here, hands against the wall. Get your feet further back. That’s better.” Kate felt a sudden sharp pressure against her spine, and he spoke past her. “Now, if you two don’t want your cop friend to have a big hole in her, you’ll stay very still.”
Kate braced herself, but the search was impersonal, if thorough. In a minute he stood back, satisfied, and looked down the hallway toward the opening and the expanse of drapery.
“That’s the living room?” he asked Vaun, and she nodded. “Right. You first, Vaunie, then you. Now you, cop.”
Vaun turned smoothly to the door, the glass of ice water still tinkling gently in her hand. Lee followed with a curiously old-maidish stance, her hands clasped together between her breasts, hunched over in feeble defense or fear or cold. Kate moved down the hall, feeling the tingle in her back where the cold metal of the gun had pressed, and took great care not to stumble. She did not glance at what Lewis had referred to as a table, a decorative Indian apothecary’s chest with a telephone and address book on top and her own familiar gun yearning from the top right-hand drawer, as useless to her as if it were on the bottom of the Bay. With a wrench she pulled her mind off the gun and off regrets and demanded that it get to work.
In the living room she moved directly to the first sofa and sat with her back to the dining area. Lewis hesitated, his instincts against allowing her any choice or independent move, but he studied the room and realized that there was no place she could have hidden a gun and that her position would put him with his back in the corner, away from the room’s only internal entrance, the long windows, tightly draped, and two small, high windows that obviously looked into nothing but the neighbor’s trees. He subsided, told Lee to take the other sofa and sat Vaun in the chair between them, facing the fireplace. Good, thought Kate. Now to get him talking.
“How did you find her?” she asked, and was pleased to hear just the right shade of querulous amazement in her voice.
Lewis preened. “It wasn’t that difficult. I had a friend pretend to be a newsman willing to pay a lot, even for rumors. He found an orderly who said Vaun was being released to a therapist who specialized in artists. I figured it would be either here or in Berkeley, and since the police here were in on the case, I started here. I went into the kinds of bars and coffeehouses that artists go to, in the Haight and Polk and south of Market to begin with, and everywhere I went I talked about crazy artists and that woman down on Tyler’s Road.” Here he paused and reached out to run the tip of his left forefinger along Vaun’s ear. She did not react. “Took me about eighty gallons of coffee and a hundred and fifty beers, but I finally got lucky—a tight-ass little jerk in a silk shirt practically drooling to tell me all about how he knew the policewoman who’d been on the TV down on Tyler’s Road, oh yeah, knew her personally, well, no, not well, you know, but he’d once seen her, with a lady shrink who’d come to the hospital to see an artist friend of his who was dying a year or so back, lady shrink name of Cooper. That was noon on Wednesday. Took me until midnight to track down one of Dr. Cooper’s regulars, and when I found out when his next scheduled appointment was, I just arranged that he’d be too, uh, tied up to keep it. And here I am.”
“Can I ask you something that puzzled us? Inspector Hawkin and me, that is?” Kate continued, not giving him a chance to find his own topic of conversation. He looked irritated, then nodded magnanimously.
“The names. You are Andrew Lewis?” She made it a question, hinting uncertainty. “Without the beard…Where did you get the name Dodson?” She held her breath, playing for time, skirting the revelation of how much they knew about Lewis and Dodson, hoping he might relax into scorn at their ignorance but not wanting to give him the impression of incompetence—that could only arouse his suspicions. Keep him talking, keep him relaxed. However, she was startled at his response.
“You know my middle name?”
“Uh, no. There was an initial….”
“It’s Carroll.”
“Carol?”
“Two r’s, two I’s, like in Lewis Carroll. You know his real name?”
“I don’t think—”
“Dodgson. The Reverend Charles L. Dodgson. With a g. So when I came across someone who looked like me, with a name so close, well, I just had to be him, didn’t I?” He was grinning, daring Kate to ask what had happened to the real Dodson, but that was not the direction she wanted to go in, not yet. She desperately cast around for another topic.
“Where did you go during that two years you took off from high school? Inspector Hawkin thought it was Mexico, but I—”
“All right, enough crap. I don’t have all night.”
“What do you want, Andy?” Vaun’s even voice distracted Lewis, almost, but not quite—enough for Kate to tense up in preparation, for what she did not know. He stood looking down at Vaun speculatively. She met his eyes, waiting.
“What do I want?” he said to himself. “What did I ever want? I loved you, and you treated me like shit.”
“You never loved me,” she chided him gently.
“No? Maybe you’re right. I did nearly kill you, you know, when you told me you’d rather paint than be with me.”
“Yes, I know that. But what you did was worse, wasn’t it?”
She gave him her knowledge and the pain of those years in her voice and face, and he went very still. After a moment he looked at Kate, but she had ready a slightly puzzled expression to hide her fear and fury. Damn the woman, what was she playing at? Surely she could see th
at the very worst thing for all of them would be to push Lewis into a corner, to let him know how trapped he was. He looked back at Vaun, warily, reassessing her.
“What I did.”
“What are you going to do now, Andy?” she asked him, and Kate felt like screaming at her not to push him into any action, stretch it out, give Hawkin a chance, but Vaun would not look at her, and Lee sat frozen.
“I’ll tell you what I thought of doing,” he said absently, and Kate knew then that all was lost. “I thought of knocking off these two and making it look like you did it. You’d never get out in just nine years after that. I could still do it.”
“No, Andy. They know everything.”
“’Everything’? Oh, right.”
“They do. Tommy’s Time magazine. Drugs in your apartment in San Jose. That garage. Your fingerprints and some hairs from one of the children in the postal van. They’d never think I had anything to do with killing anyone.”
Madness, thought Kate, this is madness speaking, she probably thinks he’ll shoot her first and give us a chance, but it’s impossible, I’ve got to stop her. But Kate couldn’t think of a way that wouldn’t set him off, so she prayed for Hawkin and readied herself for an unavoidable, futile lunge from the depths of the sofa.
The cruel smile crept back onto his lips, and Lee made a faint sound of protest as his left hand went down onto Vaun’s head, gently playing with her curls, caressing the back of her head and cupping the nape of her neck, dipping his forefinger under the collar of her shirt. And then he froze. Slowly his hand came back up, the cord between his first two fingers, and Vaun’s alarm button emerged from the front of her shirt. He looked at it, and at Vaun, who sat through his touch and his discovery with unmoving aloofness, looking up at him. He twisted his hand around the cord and brought it up, and up, until the black line was biting into Vaun’s pale throat. She watched him as her hands came up and plucked without passion at the cord. For the first time the gun moved away from Kate, but abruptly the clasp broke. Vaun jerked back into her seat, and Lewis took a sharp recovery step back and stood with the thing dangling from his hand.