She didn’t wait for his permission to leave the table. She ignored his command to sit back down, too, and ran all the way up to her bedroom. She wanted to vent her frustration by slamming the door shut. She didn’t give in to that urge, however, for it wouldn’t be dignified.
Thankfully, Colin didn’t follow her. Alesandra needed to be alone now so she could get a grip on her own rioting emotions. She was a bit stunned she’d become so angry with Colin so quickly. She wasn’t Colin’s keeper, she told herself. If he wanted to work for Richards, she couldn’t and wouldn’t try to talk him into quitting.
But he shouldn’t want to take such risks, she decided. If he cared at all about her, he wouldn’t deliberately hurt her this way.
Alesandra tried to walk the anger away. She paced back and forth in front of the hearth for a good ten minutes, muttering all the while.
“Mother Superior would never place herself in danger. She knew how I depended upon her and she never would have taken risks. She loved me, damn it.”
Even though she wasn’t Catholic, Alesandra still made the sign of the cross after muttering that blasphemy.
“I doubt Richards would ask the nun to work for him, Alesandra.”
Colin made that comment from the doorway. She had been so intent on her ranting and raving she hadn’t heard the door open. She turned around and found her husband lounging against the frame. His arms were casually folded across his chest. He was smiling, but it was the tenderness she saw in his eyes that almost did her in.
“Your amusement displeases me.”
“Your behavior displeases me,” he countered. “Why didn’t you tell me you were upset about all this business with Richards?”
“I didn’t know I was.”
He raised an eyebrow over that odd admission. “Do you want me to quit?”
She started to nod, then changed her mind and shook her head instead. “I want you to want to quit. There’s a difference, Colin. God willing, someday you might understand.”
“Help me understand now.”
She turned around to face the hearth before she spoke again. “I never would have taken deliberate risks while I lived at the convent—at least, not after the lesson I learned. There was a fire, you see, and I was trapped inside. I got out just as the roof collapsed. Mother Superior was beside herself with worry. She actually wept. She was so thankful I was all right and so furious with me because I’d taken one of the candles out of the holder so I could read Victoria’s letter instead of praying like I was supposed to be doing . . . and I felt terrible because I’d caused her so much distress. The fire was an accident, but I made a promise to myself not to act foolish again.”
“How did you act foolish if it was an accident?”
“I kept going back inside to save the pictures and the smaller statues the nuns put such store in.”
“That was foolish.”
“Yes.”
“The mother superior loved you like a daughter, didn’t she?”
Alesandra nodded.
“And you loved her.”
“Yes.”
A long minute passed in silence. “With love comes responsibility,” she whispered. “I didn’t realize that truth until I saw how upset Mother was with me.”
“Do you love me, Alesandra?”
He’d cut right to the heart of the matter. She turned around to face him just as he pulled away from the doorway and started walking toward her. She immediately started backing away.
“I do not wish to love you.”
The panic in her voice didn’t stop him. “Do you love me?” he asked again.
It was a blessing there wasn’t a fire burning in the hearth tonight. Her gown would have gone up in flames by now because she’d backed herself up against the stones.
Was she trying to get away from him or from his probing question? Colin wasn’t certain. He was relentless, however, in his attempt to make her answer him. He wanted . . . no, he needed to hear her admit the truth.
“Answer me, Alesandra.”
She suddenly quit trying to get away from him. She folded her arms in front of her and walked over to stand directly in front of him. Her head was tilted all the way back so she could look into his eyes.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I love you.”
His satisfied grin said it all. He didn’t seem at all surprised, and that thoroughly confused her.
“You already knew I loved you, didn’t you?”
He slowly nodded. She shook her head. “How could you know when I didn’t?”
He tried to take her into his arms. She quickly backed up a step. “Oh, no you don’t. You want to kiss me, don’t you? Then I’ll forget my every thought. You will answer me first, Colin.”
He wouldn’t be denied. He pulled her into his arms, nudged her chin up, and kissed her long and hard. His tongue swept inside to rub against her own. She let out a loud sigh when he finally lifted his head. She collapsed against his chest and closed her eyes. His arms were wrapped around her waist. He hugged her tight and let his chin drop to rest on the top of her head.
It felt so damn good to hold her. The end of his workday was now something he looked forward to, because he knew she would be home waiting for him.
It suddenly dawned on Colin that he liked having a wife. Not just any wife, he qualified to himself. Alesandra. He used to dread the evenings, and all because the pain in his leg was usually excruciating by then. His gentle little bride had taken his mind off his aches, however. She exasperated him and she enchanted him, and he was usually so busy reacting to her, there wasn’t room in his mind for anything else.
And she loved him.
“Now I’ll answer your question,” he said in a husky whisper she found wonderfully appealing.
“What question?”
He laughed. “You really do forget your every thought when I touch you, don’t you?”
“You needn’t sound so happy over that shameful fact. You’re above such behavior though, aren’t you? Why, I imagine you’re full of thoughts while you’re kissing me.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Oh.” She sounded crestfallen.
“And every one of them is centered on what I want to do to you with my mouth, my hands, my . . .”
She reached up and clamped her hand over his mouth as a precaution against hearing something indelicate. Her reaction made Colin laugh again.
He pulled her hand away and said, “You wondered when I realized you loved me.”
“Yes, I did wonder.”
“It was on our wedding night,” he explained. “The way you responded to me made it obvious you were in love with me.”
She shook her head. “It wasn’t obvious to me.”
“Sure it was, sweetheart,” he replied. “You couldn’t hold anything back. Your every reaction was so damn honest. You couldn’t have let yourself go that completely unless you loved me.”
“Colin?”
“Yes?”
“You really should do something about your arrogance. It’s getting out of hand.”
“You like my arrogance.”
She didn’t reply to that outrageous remark. “I won’t interfere in your schedule, Colin. I promise you.”
“I never thought you would,” he replied, smiling because she’d sounded so fervent.
“You haven’t changed your plan, have you? You still need five full years before you . . .” She didn’t go on.
“Before I what?”
Before you turn your attention to falling in love with your wife, you dolt, she thought to herself. And children, she added. In five years he would probably decide to have one or two. She wondered if she would be too old to have babies by then.
She definitely couldn’t have one now. A baby would put too much pressure on Colin. Why, look how his partner, Nathan, had changed. He was now willing to do something he’d found unacceptable before. Selling stock was certainly a last resort, and it was the bir
th of his daughter that had changed his mind.
“Alesandra, before I what?” Colin asked again. The wistfulness in her voice puzzled him.
“Before you reach your goals,” she blurted out.
“Yes,” Colin said. “It’s still five years.”
He made that comment on his way over to the bed. He sat down on the side and bent to take his shoes off. “I didn’t realize you were worried about my working for Richards,” he said, turning the topic back to that issue. “You should have said something.”
He tossed his shoes and socks aside, then turned his attention to his shirt. “And you were right when you said we’re both responsible for each other. I haven’t taken the time to consider your feelings. I’m sorry about that.”
She watched him pull his shirt out of his waistband and work it up over his head. She couldn’t take her gaze off him. She hung on his every word, hoping he would tell her how he felt about her. She didn’t have enough gumption to ask him if he loved her. Colin hadn’t had any problem asking her, she thought to herself. But then, he already knew her answer.
She didn’t know his.
She had to shake her head over her own fanciful thoughts. Men didn’t think about such things as love, or at least she didn’t think they did. If Colin hadn’t taken the time to consider her feelings regarding his dangerous work for Richards, why in heaven’s name would he take the time to think about loving her? His mind was already completely full with his plans to build his company into an empire, and there simply wasn’t room for anything else.
Alesandra straightened her shoulders and her resolve. She reminded herself that she found her husband’s dedication admirable. She could be patient. Colin would get around to her in five years or so.
He drew her attention away from her thoughts when he said, “I’ve given my word to Richards I’d pass on a few papers for him.” He paused to toss his shirt on the chair and stood up. “As for the other assignment I was offered, I’ll let Morgan have it. In truth, I’d already decided against taking on the mission because it would have meant I’d have to be away from London for at least two weeks, possibly even three. Borders could have handled the office, of course, but I didn’t want to leave you alone.”
She thought that was the sweetest thing Colin had ever said to her. He would have missed her. She decided she wanted to hear him say the words.
“Why didn’t you want to leave me alone?”
“Because of the policy, of course.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Stefan and Raymond could watch out for me.”
“You’re my responsibility, Alesandra.”
“But I don’t wish to be your responsibility,” she muttered. “You have enough on your mind. You don’t need to add me to your list.”
He didn’t remark on that little speech. He unbuttoned his pants and stripped out of the rest of his clothes.
Her thoughts became fragments. She couldn’t stop staring at her husband. Lord, he was magnificent. He was what she envisioned a warlord from bygone days must have looked like. Colin was all muscle, all power, and he had such sleek, smooth lines.
She followed him with her gaze as he crossed the room and bolted the bedroom door. He walked past her again on his way back to the bed. He pulled the covers back, straightened back up, and crooked his finger at her.
She didn’t hesitate. She walked over to stand directly in front of him. Her hands were demurely folded in front of her. She looked serene, composed, but Colin knew better. The pulse in the base of her neck was beating frantically. He noticed when he lifted her hair away from her neck and bent down to kiss her.
She started to undress. Colin gently pushed her hands away from the bodice of her gown. “Let me,” he whispered.
Her hands dropped back down to her sides. Colin was much quicker getting her clothes off than she was. He wasn’t nearly as careful though. He didn’t take the time to fold her garments but tossed them in a heap on top of his shirt. He was anxious to get to her bare skin. He noticed his hands shook when he untied the lace ribbon holding the neckline of her chemise in place and smiled over his lack of discipline.
He was surprised by his own quick response to her. His breathing was already ragged, his heartbeat was slamming inside his chest, and he hadn’t even touched her yet—at least, not the way he wanted to touch her. Anticipation made him hard, aching.
Alesandra’s thoughts were a little more centered. She was determined to get him to tell her he would have missed her if he’d taken the assignment.
When the last of her clothes had been discarded, she turned her gaze to her husband’s chin and whispered his name.
“Colin?”
“Yes?”
“If you’d left London, would you have missed me?”
He lifted her chin up so she would look at him. His smile was filled with tenderness. “Yes.”
She was so pleased with his answer, she let out a little sigh. Colin leaned down and brushed his mouth over hers.
“Do you wonder if I would have missed you?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
He distracted her by taking her hands and placing them around his neck. Then he began to nibble on her earlobe. “Because I already know you’d miss me. You love me, remember?”
She couldn’t fault that reasoning. Her husband certainly didn’t have a problem with self-esteem. She thought to tell him so, and just as soon as he quit turning her thoughts into mush with his kisses, she would.
Colin placed wet kisses along the column of her throat. Her pulse was beating frantically now and she was already trembling in his arms. He thought that was a nice start.
He was slowly driving her crazy with his touch, and he knew it. That realization settled in her mind all at once. Alesandra pushed herself away from him. He let her go, but the look on his face showed his confusion.
“What is it, sweetheart? Why did you push me away? I know you want me, and you sure as hell have to know how much I want you.”
Alesandra was determined to turn the tables on her husband. She got into bed, moved to the center, and then knelt on her knees, facing him. She could feel herself blushing, but she absolutely refused to give in to her embarrassment. Colin was her husband and her lover, and she should be able to do anything she wanted with him.
She crooked her finger at him. He was so surprised by her boldness, he laughed. He got into bed and reached for her. She shook her head at him and pushed against his shoulders, telling him without words she wanted him on his back.
“Does my boldness please you?”
“Yes,” he answered. “It pleases me.”
It wasn’t what he’d said as much as how he’d said it that gave Alesandra the courage to continue her game. She trailed her fingers down his chest.
“When you touch me, I go a little crazy,” she whispered. “But tonight . . .”
She didn’t go on. Her fingertips slowly circled his navel. She smiled over his quick indrawn breath when her hand moved lower.
“Yes?” he asked, his voice rough with need.
“You’re going to lose your control before I lose mine. Do you accept my challenge, husband?”
In answer Colin stacked his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. “I’ll win, Alesandra. I have far more experience.”
She laughed over that boast. Odd, but admitting she loved him had somehow freed her from all restraint. She felt wild, wanton, and she didn’t care at all that she wasn’t being dignified. She really didn’t think it was possible to maintain decorum when she was stark naked.
“Thank you for telling me I love you, Colin.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
He was tense with anticipation. His voice was gritty when he said, “Are you about finished working up your courage?”
“I’m planning my attack,” she countered.
That remark made him smile. She was highly curious about his body. She wanted to learn the taste of him just as he had learned the tast
e of her. The thought of what she wanted to do to him made her blush intensify, but Colin’s eyes were closed so she didn’t worry about hiding her embarrassment.
“Colin, is . . . everything permitted or is there something I shouldn’t do?”
“Nothing’s forbidden,” he replied. “Our bodies belong to each other.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
She leaned back on her heels while she considered where she would like to start. His neck appealed to her, but then so did the rest of his body.
“Sweetheart, I’m going to fall asleep if you don’t get started,” he announced.
Alesandra decided not to waste time getting to the area that most intrigued her.
He should have kept his eyes open. When he felt her mouth on the tip of his erection, he damn near came off the bed. His groan of pleasure came out as a raw shout.
He came undone. It took every ounce of discipline he possessed not to spill his seed then and there. Perspiration broke out on his brow. Her sweet tongue flicked over his sensitive skin until he was in acute agony to let himself climax.
He couldn’t take the torment long. He suddenly let out a low growl as he grabbed hold of her shoulders and lifted her upward. He forced her thighs apart with his knee so that she would straddle his hips, cupped the back of her neck with his hand to bring her mouth down to his, and then sealed her soft lips with his as he thrust inside her with one hard surge. The liquid heat he felt told him she was ready for him. His hands dropped to the sides of her hips and he forced her upward so that he could thrust back inside again. He was beyond reason now, and as soon as he felt her instinctively tighten around him, he was powerless to control his body’s reaction. His climax caught him by surprise. He let out another loud groan as he poured his seed into her.
Touching her husband so intimately and watching his own uninhibited response had heightened Alesandra’s pleasure. He found his own release before she did, but he didn’t stop moving inside her. The ecstasy was almost too much to endure. She whimpered his name when the heat began to uncoil and spread like wildfire through her body. Her head fell back in surrender to the bliss. Colin felt the first tremors of her release and reached down between their joined bodies to stroke her. His touch helped her gain her own fulfillment. She arched against him, rigid with the consuming pleasure cascading down her limbs.