Back in 2002 I was having a rough time in my university studies and in my personal life, and it was distracting and disorienting. I’d broken up with a longtime girlfriend and was very emotional. So I went to Jackie and asked her to help me understand what had happened. I poured out my heart, but she sat there with her hands clasped, patiently listening without responding. Suddenly it hit me that as I was unloading all this emotional baggage on her, she wasn’t reacting. Finally I stopped and said, “What should I do? Tell me!” She smiled and her eyes sparkled as she said simply, “Praise God.”
Confused and frustrated, I said, “Praise God for what?”
“Just praise God, Nick.”
I stared at the floor thinking, That’s all she has to say? This woman is something else!
Then it hit me that Jackie was telling me to trust in God and that He hadn’t forgotten me. She was telling me that I should put faith not in the wisdom of man but in the power of God. She was telling me to surrender to God and to thank Him, even though I didn’t feel He deserved thanks. She was telling me to thank God in advance for blessings that would come of this pain. She has a powerful faith, and she always reminds me, when I feel confused or hurt, to surrender to God, because He has a plan for us all.
LIFE GUIDES
These “life guide” relationships are not always easy going. Your “guides” will give you a reality check or even a kick in the pants. But they care enough to make you really think about what you are doing, where you are going, why you are in the game, and what comes next. You want people like that in your life.
When I decided to become a public speaker and to encourage others to have faith, I shared the decision with my closest friends and family. Some were concerned, including my parents. The Apostolic Christian Church that I belong to has dispatched many missionaries over the years. They’ve built orphanages and helped many in need. When I told my parents that I wanted to speak about my faith to other denominations in churches around the world, they had misgivings about my health and concerns about whether this mission was truly what God wanted for me.
I listened to them because I knew they wanted me to be successful. You should do the same when your own Dream Team offers opinions about your plans, especially if you want them to remain invested in your success. Honor them and give careful thought to their advice and guidance. You don’t have to accept it, but respect that they care enough to tell you even what you may not want to hear.
I respected my parents’ concerns, but I felt God was calling me to be an evangelist. My mission then was to be obedient and patient and pray that they’d come to feel the same way. By God’s grace, not only my parents but also the church accepted my calling. Its leaders stood behind me and ordained me as the church’s first Minister of Evangelism.
There are no promises or guarantees that everyone you meet will want to help you. Some may even try to discourage you. They may have the best intentions and good reason to be worried. None of my parents’ fears were irrational, but I prayed that their faith would overcome all those concerns.
Parents and their grown children often must agree to disagree and move on. The same holds true with other members of your Dream Team. You may be proven wrong when you go your own way. You may be proven right. In the end, being right isn’t what’s important.
I am so thankful that my parents and I can respect each other’s opinions and decisions. By God’s grace, our relationship withstood a test, and we emerged even closer than before because of our deep love and mutual respect. If we had not talked openly about our feelings, the outcome might not have been such a happy one.
I attended my church regularly as my base and did my best to mentor the young people there. But I also began to branch out, speaking to other churches, reaching out to people in a much wider area. I’m pleased to report that many of the young people have moved forward in their relationships with God, and I thank Him for that.
My mum and dad prayed for me and with me on the day in 2008 when I was officially ordained an evangelist, and that experience brought us to a new level of mutual love and respect. My parents knew that I was committed and dedicated to spreading the word of God. To have them all pray for me in front of the entire church congregation was something I’ll never forget. I have to say that my parents are my strongest supporters, and they were right far more than they were wrong about the important decisions in my life.
You should never take relationships for granted, especially those with your closest family members. The rewards last a lifetime.
Take time now to evaluate your people skills, the quality of your relationships, and what you put into them. Are you trustworthy? Do you trust those closest to you? Are you attracting people willing to invest in your success? Are you honoring them? Are you putting into the relationship as much as you are taking out?
Each time I’m laughing and enjoying my family, I realize how much I live for such moments. My hope is to somehow convince them that San Diego beaches are better than Australian beaches so that I can always have them near. Hold your loved ones as close as you can, as long as you can.
The quality of your relationships has a huge impact on the quality of your life, so please treat them as precious. Don’t take them for granted. The Bible says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
TEN
An Equal Opportunity Hugger
Joshua and Rebekah Weigel are award-winning filmmakers in Los Angeles dedicated to making movies that inspire as well as entertain. I’d never met them, but after they saw one of my videos, they were inspired to write a fictional screenplay with me in mind as the main character. As they were writing this script, the Weigels were trying to contact me through various channels, but since I was gadding about on a speaking tour, they couldn’t reach me. Then one Sunday while they were attending church in Westlake Village, they ran into an old friend of theirs named Kyle.
“What are you doing now?” they asked Kyle.
“I’m working as a caregiver for this guy named Nick Vujicic,” he said.
Not surprisingly, Joshua and Rebekah were stunned.
How amazing is that? How often does it happen that two dedicated filmmakers write a script for someone they’ve never met, then seek him out and offer to make a movie with him? It’s fantastic, right? A dream come true!
Have you ever missed out on a wonderful chance because you didn’t have your act together? Have you watched in despair as someone else ran through a door that you failed to see was open? Learn from those experiences, and buck up, mate! Walter Chrysler, founder of the Chrysler automotive company, once said that the reason so many people never get anywhere in life is that when opportunity knocks, they are out in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers. Today I see people buying lottery tickets instead of investing in their futures. Invest in your future by preparing with hard work, dedicate yourself to your goals, and then watch for the right time to make the leap.
If you feel you never get a shot, maybe it’s because you aren’t locked, loaded, and ready to fire. You are responsible for your own success. Take on that responsibility by preparing yourself to do your best. When you get to the right place, the breaks will come. If you have a chip on your shoulder, or you’re hosting a pity party, don’t expect an invitation to the dance. Believe in yourself (have I mentioned this already?). Believe in the possibilities for your life. Believe in your value on this planet. If you don’t feel worthy of wings, you’ll never get off the ground.
Break a sweat. Get your hands dirty. Hit the books. Thomas Edison said opportunities are often missed because they are dressed in overalls and look like work. Are you ready to do whatever it takes?
I have to confess that when the Weigels first contacted me, I wasn’t paying attention. Poor Kyle was so excited for me. He tried to tell me about his friends the filmmakers and the project they had for me. “I ha
ve some friends who have a movie idea for you—” was all he had a chance to say before I cut him off.
“Kyle, I’m too busy to talk to your friends right now,” I said crankily.
I’d been traveling a great deal and was edgy and tired. Oddly enough, I’d recently been burned by another movie proposition. After hearing just a basic outline of it (a feature-length film!), I’d been excited about it for months. Then they sent me the script. It turned out, the producers wanted me to portray a foul-mouthed, tobacco-chewing character who spends most of the movie getting lugged around in a potato sack slung over someone’s back.
That was not the sort of role I wanted to begin my movie career, or end it. So I said no. Not every chance is worth taking. You have to be true to your values, incorporating them into your long-term goals. What mark do you wish to make? How do you want to be remembered? I didn’t want my grandchildren to one day discover a DVD of a movie in which Grandpa Nick curses, drools tobacco juice down his chin, and lives like a degenerate. So I said thanks but no thanks to that first movie offer.
I loved the idea of making a movie, but I wasn’t willing to abandon my values to do it. You may have to make a similar decision. Stay strong. Stick with your principles, but don’t make the mistake I made: when I closed that first door, I also closed my mind.
That’s why I shot down good old Kyle without a second thought when he cheerfully brought the Weigels’ film project to me. I didn’t see the future because I was looking in the rearview mirror. Big mistake.
Fortunately, the Weigels were not easily discouraged. They asked another friend to contact my media director. He read their screenplay, loved it, and brought it to me. Upon reading it, I realized Kyle deserved an apology. The Weigels’ screenplay was about hope and redemption, subjects close to my heart.
And who better to star in a film short than me? Especially since the character they’d created for me was “Will the Limbless Man.” As the movie begins, he is a snarly and depressed “freak” in a ragtag circus sideshow. Then, thanks to the kindness of others, Will is invited to join a far more benevolent circus troupe, where he becomes the star of a thrilling high-dive act.
I realized I’d better get off my “buts” and kick into action. I thanked Kyle and asked him to set up a meeting with the Weigels. Great events quickly unfolded. We met. We bonded. And I signed on the dotted line. My enthusiasm grew when I learned that a number of much more experienced actors already had agreed to take roles in the film.
This was a low-budget, fast-moving project, so I only had to clear a week’s time on my schedule to complete my scenes. You will have to check the reviews to decide whether I have a future in show business, but The Butterfly Circus won the $100,000 grand prize at the Doorpost Film Project, which supports filmmakers who make hopeful films. Our little movie (which you can find at http://www.thedoorpost.com) was chosen over one hundred other short films featuring similar themes. The Doorpost grand prize brought it a lot of attention, and the Weigels are considering turning it into a full-length feature.
I just may dive into that project too. After all, not many actors can play the role of a limbless man who dives, swims, and pulls off the perfect Australian accent!
LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!
To pursue your dreams you have to take action. Move it or lose it. Act or be acted upon. If you don’t have what you want, consider creating what you want. God will light the path. Your chance of a lifetime, the door to your dreams is open. Your path to a purpose may present itself at any moment. Be ready for it. Do all you need to do. Learn all you need to know. If no one comes knocking, beat down a few doors. One day you’ll step into the life you desire.
Be willing to put yourself out there, to embrace the moment. Earlier in my career, before I got back pain, I offered after each speech to give a hug to everyone who wanted one. To my amazement and gratitude, many lined up to share a word and a little squeeze. I was amazed because every person I met in those sessions had something unique to offer, a gift that I could take away. You need to feel the same way about opportunities. Even those that may not seem golden at first may shine once you’ve stepped up.
MAKE A BREAK
Even after you’ve built a powerful purpose and have developed huge reservoirs of hope, faith, self-esteem, positive attitudes, courage, resilience, adaptability, and good relationships, you can’t just sit around and wait for a break. You have to seize upon every thread and weave a rope you can climb. Sometimes you’ll even find that the boulder that fell and blocked your path left an opening that takes you to a higher place. But you have to have the courage and the determination to make the ascent.
One of our mottos at Life Without Limbs is “Another day, another opportunity.” We don’t simply have our slogan framed on a wall—we try to live it every day. Dr. Cara Barker, a psychologist and leadership coach, picked up on this when she wrote in a Huffington Post blog: “Nick Vujicic demonstrates that it’s possible to awaken the heart, giving inspiration to others through a situation that nearly everyone on this Earth would find debilitating. A hero, Vujicic finds opportunity where most would find a dead end.”
I’m humbled by her words. Growing up, it was often difficult for me to ever imagine myself being called a hero or an inspiration to anyone. I realized as a child that being angry about what I didn’t have or frustrated about what I couldn’t do only pushed people away from me, but when I looked for opportunities to serve others, they were drawn to me. I’ve learned not to wait around but to push ahead and make my own breaks because one always seems to lead to another. Every time I give a speech, attend an event, or visit a new part of the world, I meet people, learn about new organizations, and gather information that opens new opportunities down the road.
BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE
Dr. Barker correctly notes that once I switched my focus from my physical challenges to the blessings they presented, my life changed dramatically for the better. You can do the same. If I can recognize that the body God gave me is in many ways a great and wondrous gift, can you acknowledge that your own blessings may also be in disguise, perhaps even dwelling within an aspect of yourself that you see as your greatest weakness?
It’s all about perspective. There is no hiding from life. You will take some hits. Unless you are blasted so hard you go into a coma, you will become frustrated, angry, and sad: Been there, done that. Still, I urge you to reject despair and bitterness. You can be buried by a giant wave, or you can ride it into shore. In the same way, challenging events in your life can push you down or lift you up. If you can breathe, be grateful. Use that gratitude to rise above depression and bitterness. Take one step, then another, build momentum, and create a life you love.
My physical handicap forced me to be bold and to speak to adults and other kids and to interact. And because of it I focused on my strengths in mathematics, so I always had a fallback profession if my speaking didn’t work out. I’ve often thought that even some of the heartbreak I’ve endured because of my disability has benefited me by making me more compassionate toward others. In the same way, the failures I’ve experienced have made me much more appreciative of my successes and much more sympathetic to others who struggle and fail.
TAKING MEASURE
Not all opportunities are equal. At the beginning of this chapter, I wrote about embracing my first movie role, after turning down that earlier offer.
Now if you watch The Butterfly Circus, you will see that Will, my character, at the beginning of the movie isn’t exactly an inspiring bloke. In fact, he’s a bit repulsive because of the bitterness and despair he harbors in his heart. But I accepted this role because Will undergoes a transformation and overcomes his misery and resentment. Like a prickly caterpillar who transforms into a soaring butterfly, Will slowly sheds his suspicions and distrust and becomes a redeemed, loving, and inspiring person.
That’s how I want to be known on this planet. How do you want to be known? In earlier chapters, we looked at the importance of having a
purpose. When offers and breaks come your way, or when you create them for yourself, you must always ask yourself, Does this match up with my purpose and my values?
What qualifies as a good opportunity? Anything that takes you another step closer to your dream. There are other types, of course. Perhaps your friends invited you to go out and get wasted last night. Or maybe you played video games instead of preparing for a meeting at work or reading a book to sharpen your skills. The choices you make determine the quality of the life you lead.
Be thoughtful. Develop high standards and strict criteria for evaluating how you invest your time and energy. Base your choices not on what feels good in the moment but on what best serves your ultimate goals. Measure them according to your values and principles. I use the Grandpa Nick rule: Will my grandkids be proud of this decision, or will they think their grandpappy was senile before his time?
If you need to create a disciplined, formal process for assessing opportunities, sit down at your computer or with a pen and paper and create an Assessment Worksheet. For every opportunity that comes your way, write down the pros and cons and evaluate how each measures up to the values, principles, and goals you’ve chosen for your life. Then try to envision what will happen if you walk through the door, and what will happen if you close it instead.
If you still have trouble making a decision, take your worksheet to a trusted mentor, or a friend who believes in you and wants you to succeed. Talk through the pros and cons with them, and listen to their evaluation. Be open-minded, but also know that the responsibility is all yours. It’s your life. You will reap the rewards or pay the price for your own decisions, so choose wisely.